She needed time. Time for Sebastian to wake up. Time for him to cut his ropes.
She opened her mouth, talking before she had even formulated a plan. Keeping her eyes on Gregory, she ignored the perversity of her own words. “I remember, Gregory. I remember how it lit up your eyes. How my screams pleased you.”
Ever so slowly, her hand went forward, palm lightly onto his chest, her fingertips caressing the smooth linen of his shirt. To her surprise, he allowed the movement.
He was interested now. His good eye fully on her. No more flickering looks to Sebastian.
This was good. This would work.
It would work as long as she could stomach it.
Brianna swallowed down the rock in her throat, forcing her voice even, sultry. She had to make him believe it.
“I saw, Gregory. I saw how you liked it. Even through my pain. The agony. How it tore me. Even through that. I saw it.” Her other hand went up to his chest. “I never wanted to admit it. But it…it awoke something in me. Something I cannot name. Something I have tried to deny. I liked it.”
“Do not think you can lie to me, my love. You will not save him.” Gregory’s jaw set hard, even though the gleam of interest didn’t leave his eye.
“Your control. How you made me bend to you. Scream.” Her palms flattened on his chest. She could feel his heart thumping, his muscles twitching at her words. “What you drew out of me. The blood. The begging.”
Not breaking eye contact, she moved her right hand down to her skirt, pulling, bunching the fabric up as she exposed her right leg. Boot. Knee. Thigh.
Fist wrapped around the fabric, her bare thigh fully exposed, she bent her leg, lifting it as she wedged her heel onto the stone behind her.
“We can do it again, Gregory. Again and again. I can hold out, just as before. You can punish me.”
He swallowed, and Brianna could see him nearly salivate at the mere suggestion.
She had him now. But there was still a flicker of doubt. She needed to prove it.
Movement numb with disbelief at her own actions, but hardened against stopping—against weakness she couldn’t afford—Brianna’s left hand slid across his chest.
Slowly, her fingers trailed to his shoulder and along his outstretched arm toward the blade at her neck. She snaked her hand along the back of his forearm gently, causing no alarm, until she gripped the dagger through his hold, fingers entwined with his.
Bringing his hand down, she set the blade on her thigh. He didn’t halt her motion.
Brianna didn’t stop to take a breath. Didn’t slow. She couldn’t or she wouldn’t be able to do this.
She pressed the blade into her thigh.
Hand tightening over his, digging the sharp edge into her skin, she dragged the dagger across her thigh, cutting deep.
A gasp she couldn’t control choked out. Instant fire in her leg, her head dropped and she grimaced, trying to overcome the pain.
Her eyes cracked. She could see the blood dripping down her leg, puddling on the floor. The bulge in Gregory’s pants pulsating, huge.
“You cut too deep, my love.” His gravelly voice sank to her ears. “We will have to ensure we enjoy this fully before you faint.”
Bile rushed to her throat.
She swallowed the vileness. She couldn’t break. Not now.
Teeth gritted, she sucked air. She could do this. She had to.
When she could breathe again, she looked up, her eyes meeting his. His glass eye had slipped, looking off to the side, but his good eye stayed fixed on her, his face throbbing with hunger. Sick desire.
“I want it again,” Brianna choked out, her voice surprisingly even. “Make me scream, Gregory. Like you did before.”
“No. Shit, Bree. Stop. Stop.” Sebastian’s ragged shout cut through the room. “Good God, Bree, stop it. God no.”
Gregory’s head swung to Sebastian.
Sebastian went frantic trying to free himself from the ropes holding him to the chair.
“He does not matter, Gregory.” Brianna’s voice cut sharp over the noise, her hand tightening over his fingers on the blade.
Gregory looked back to her.
“This is not enough for me, Gregory. You know how to do it. Make me scream. Make him hear it.”
She dropped his right hand with the blade and grabbed his left hand, setting his fingers over the open wound. She leaned forward, making sure Gregory could look nowhere but at her. “Make. Me. Scream.”
Gregory’s mouth curled as his fingers slid through the blood on her thigh to the cut. With a grunt and a sinister sneer, he slid three of his fingers deep into the wound, tearing at her flesh.
Her scream pierced the mill.
Waves of pain ripped through her body. Her agony echoed off the stone walls.
She doubled over, falling, but Gregory quickly pinned her shoulder to the stone before she slipped from his fingers deep in her flesh.
“Well done, my love.”
He twisted his fingers, scratching his nails into her thigh muscle.
Fresh shrieks. Gasping for air.
But in the middle of it, calm.
She had been terrorized by this for years. This very thing. But this time it was freeing. This time it was to save Sebastian. This time for love. Love she knew, without fail, was true.
This time, she could endure.
“Do tell me, my love. Where is the boy?”
Brianna’s head swung side to side, and then she managed to lift her chin, finding his good eye. “No.”
He twisted his hand.
“No,” she screamed, collapsing again, her convulsing eyes shut tight against the wretchedness.
He shoved his body into hers, his fingers dragging through the length of the wound.
And then his mass was on her, crushing her against the curved millstone behind her, dragging her downward. A blade passed in front of her eyes.
She crumpled under his body, fighting for breath beneath his weight. Shoving, kicking, she tried to free herself from suffocating, her head banging into the stone floor.
He rolled off her, his body thunking to the ground.
It took Brianna a gasping breath to realize Gregory was limp beside her. Blood seeped from the side of his neck. Slowly at first, then fast.
She looked up.
Sebastian stood over her, heaving, bloody, straddling her body, her knife gripped solid in his hand.
Neither of them moved for seconds. Sebastian’s eyes stayed trained on Gregory. Brianna’s eyes stayed trained on Sebastian.
Slowly, Sebastian’s eyes swung to Brianna.
“Bloody hell, Bree.”
He stepped off from above her, going to the door.
Brianna’s head rolled to the side, her temple hitting stone.
Sebastian kicked open the door and disappeared.
Leaving her.
Again.
{ Chapter 19 }
“Seb?”
Sebastian’s head popped up. He scrambled to get his face above Brianna’s. “Bree. I am here. Right here.”
Her blue eyes, searching, vacant, found him for a moment before falling closed.
Sebastian smoothed the wet strands of hair back from her forehead. Waiting. Watching. Searching her face for movement.
Surprised that her skin was hotter than he remembered it before he fell asleep, he reached to the wet cloth in a bowl by the bed, dragging it across her forehead, her cheeks.
He waited. Hoping. Watching for the slightest quiver. Something to tell him Brianna was still in there. Still fighting.
In the very second that he thought she had drifted away again, her mouth cracked, but her eyelids did not even attempt to flutter open.
“I love you.” Nothing but her mouth moved, her words sparse whispers. “Every last part of me, Seb. No hesitation. You are here. I am happy… I do not care if it is this minute alone, or a lifetime. As long as I have it, I do not care. I can go. Happy.”
The last of her raspy words slipped
into nothingness, barely perceivable.
Sebastian’s head bowed, tears slipping from his eyes to land on her shift, already soaked with fever. He had to swallow the lump in his throat several times before he could trust himself to speak.
He bent, setting his mouth to her ear, making sure she could hear his words. “You will not die here, Brianna. Do you understand? You are the love of my life, Bree. And you will not go anywhere. You will not die. Do not think you are leaving me. Ever.”
No movement.
Her breath shallow once more.
She was gone again.
~~~
“Seb. You need to sleep.”
Sebastian’s head swung slowly to the door. He hadn’t heard anyone come in. Eyes bleary, he could just make out Wynne coming in through the dark and lighting a wall sconce by the door.
Carrying a candle-stick, she brought it to the side of the bed, setting it on the bedside table next to the bowl of cool water.
“You need to sleep, Seb. You can barely keep your head aloft.”
Sebastian did not move from the simple wooden chair he sat in, his eyes going back to Brianna’s face. “I sleep fine beside her.”
“Yes, but you have not even done that.” Wynne moved to stand in front of him. “And you have not moved your arm from atop her belly in days.”
“She needs to know I have not left her.” He did not bother to look up at Wynne.
Sebastian could hear Wynne swallow hard before her hand went gently to his shoulder. “Seb, Rowe talked to the physician.” Her head fell as she took a deep breath, her hand tightening on his shoulder. “She is slipping, Seb. The physician says there is little hope. You need to…to ready yourself.”
His eyes turned to daggers slowly moving up to Wynne. “Leave, Wynne. Leave this damn room.”
She shook her head, refusing to budge. “Seb, you have not left this room since you came back with her, it has been days—a week. I will sit with Brianna. You need to go outside. Breathe fresh air. It is a clear night. Cool. Just for five minutes, Seb. I will sit with her.”
His gaze dropped back to Brianna. “I told her I would not leave her.”
“You are not leaving her, Seb. You are taking five minutes to stand. To breathe. Your own wounds—they are not healing as they should.”
Sebastian’s eyes flickered down to his left arm draped over her belly. The strips of linen wrapping the cuts in his arm were tinged with spots of blood. “They are fine.”
“Seb, we are all worried about you. Rowe, Lily, me.”
“Worried for what?”
Wynne’s hand slipped from his shoulder, her fingers clasping in front of her belly. “Worried that you are searching for death with her.”
“If death comes for her, I am not going to let her be alone.” His voice caught as his fingers dug in around Brianna’s waist, his forearm pressing down on her belly. “I am not going to let her breathe her last breath without me, Wynne. Not without me holding her. I will not allow it.”
“Seb…she does not know you are even here. It has been days since she has spoken, since there has been any sign.”
He glanced at Wynne, his eyes almost instantly drawn back to Brianna’s face as his voice turned ragged. “I know. I know I am here. And she will not leave this earth without knowing I am here.”
Wynne’s hand went gently to his shoulder, squeezing.
Silently, she stepped to the side and left the room.
Sebastian waited minutes, an hour, staring at Brianna’s face, the grey tint to her skin making the shadows on her cheeks appear even darker than the day before. Wynne’s words hung in the air, haunting him. Whispered talk of death that weighed upon his chest, suffocating his lungs.
He drew a shuddered breath, moving forward to sit on the side of the bed and dip a fresh cloth in the basin of water in front of him.
Achingly slow, he set the wet cloth to Brianna’s lips, letting the water slip into her mouth. His head fell, his shoulders following as his forehead landed on her shoulder. He sat there, his head on her chest, willing her to fight, to breathe.
But there was nothing. He could feel the cold stillness of her body.
He lifted his head, his face next to hers as his arm rose from her belly, and he smoothed the hair along her brow. “I can feel it in your body, Bree. Did you hear what Wynne said? You are failing. And I see. I see you have so little left—nothing.”
His eyes closed as he fought the words he abhorred having to speak. “But you are holding on, Bree. You are holding on for something.” His head shook, his voice cracking. “God, how I do not want to say this. But if you are doing it for me, Bree—holding on—you can stop. You do not need to stay here for me. You can go. I want you to stay—god, how I need you to stay. I want you to fight, and I will never let you go. But I cannot have you suffering for me. Suffering because you are afraid for what I will become. I know the pain you are in, and it is not fair, me keeping you here.”
He stopped, looking away from his wife as he took long minutes to force his chest into submission, his voice into strength. Strength he knew Brianna needed from him.
His gaze fell back upon her. “You have to let me go, Bree. Let your body go. Let the pain go. We will be together again, for you are the love of my life in this world, and in any other. Fate will make it so. We are destined to be together again. And I will be whole again when that time comes. Trust in that, my wife. Trust in that.”
He broke, all words, all thoughts failing him. Crumbling, he could only move enough to stretch himself out beside her, holding her limp body tight to him.
If these were to be her last minutes, he would hold her. Hold her until the end.
His head dropped, his face touching hers. His breath mingled with what little she had left.
And he let the pain consume him.
{ Chapter 20 }
“Seb.”
The sound floated into the room, so soft, Sebastian mistook it for the breeze from the window Lily had opened hours ago in the middle of the night.
“Seb.”
Sebastian opened his eyes. It took him a full breath to realize he had fallen asleep, Brianna still tight to his body, his head tucked in next to hers on the pillow.
He pushed himself up, his arm dragging across Brianna’s belly. Blinking the sleep from his eyes, he looked to the open window to see morning sun streaming in.
“Seb.”
Sebastian suddenly realized the sound came from the bed. Brianna. He looked down to see her eyes open, the light blue in them clear, watching him, puzzled.
“Bree.” He moved fully upright on the bed, his hands going to her face, holding her, proving to himself that she was awake and looking at him.
Her mouth opened, but no sound came out. She tried again, but again, no sound, only what looked like the word “water.”
Sebastian spun, grabbing the pitcher from the table at the side of the bed, and poured water into a glass. He turned to her, slipping his hand behind her neck and lifting her from the bed.
She was light. Too light.
Gently, he set the glass to her lips, tipping it until water drained into her mouth.
She nodded, and Sebastian gently set her back onto the pillows. He placed the glass back on the side table, almost afraid to turn to her. Afraid this was a dream. Not real.
“Lily? Harry?” A whisper floated from her.
Sebastian turned around. “Both are safe, Bree.”
“Seb…”
“Bree, do not talk.” He slid his hand along her neck. “You are too weak.”
The confusion in her eyes thickened. “I have been sick?”
“Yes. A fever. It has been days. Many days.”
She gave one nod of her head, her blue eyes not leaving him. “I remember. I wanted to go.” Her left hand rose, weak, shaking, and landed on his cheek. “You kept me here. Your arm…it held me down. You would not let me leave.”
Sebastian exhaled, his head dropping as tears started slipping down his
cheeks.
She was back. Back with him. Alive.
A minute passed before he could raise his head to look at her. “No. I was not about to leave you, Bree. Never.”
Her mouth curved into a slight smile, the tiniest touch of pink filling her lips, contrasting against the grey set to her skin. “Thank you. I am happy you made me stay.”
The words, the miniscule movement drained her, and her eyes closed as she drew a shaky breath. Her face went still.
For a moment, Sebastian froze, afraid she was about to slip from him again.
But then her eyes opened. “I hurt.”
He grabbed the glass, lifting her head again to pour more water into her mouth. “The fever—it ravaged your body.” He laid her back.
“Why did I have a fever?”
Sebastian searched her face, not wanting to tell her anything it would be far better for her not to recall. “Do you remember the mill?”
Her eyes closed, and Sebastian could see her straining to remember.
A long moment passed.
“Yes. Gregory. My leg.” Her eyes flew open, sparked. “The knife—it went right in front of my eyes—you could have killed me, Seb.”
Sebastian could not hold back a relieved chuckle. She truly was back. “I am better with a blade than you, my wife. And I owe you my life for bringing that dagger.”
Brianna’s eyes searched his body. “You were bloody. I could not tell where it all came from. You are injured? Your arm?”
“It is nothing.” He glanced down at the wrapping around his arm. “I have healed fine.”
“Gregory… ”
“Is dead. Yes. And Harry’s uncle is currently residing in Newgate, awaiting trial. Gregory made no secret as to who had hired him when he tried to persuade me to give up Harry.”
“Persuade?” Fear flooded Brianna’s face. “What did he do to you, Seb?”
“Nothing I could not survive. I was more worried about what he was doing to you.” Sebastian had to force his still simmering rage to stay even and not explode in front of Brianna. “The knife was far too good for him, as I would have gladly ripped him limb from limb.”
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