When the guys were taking their turn at the grill to cook for a bit, Liam told Ciarán that he thought Katie was definitely someone to consider seriously.
"Looks like you might have found a charming lady in Katie. Jocelyn likes her and she is usually a good judge of character. She pegged every one of the hands we just hired. I'm thinking of using her more often in interviews." Liam flipped the burgers with a flourish of his spatula.
"I was so amazed when she pointed that one out as untrustworthy. I did his background; she was so right. It was good she saw it because otherwise, I might have hired him because he had the right words down," Ciarán said as he grabbed the buns.
"And what about Katie; are you thinking of testing the waters with this one?"
"I can't tell you how much she turns me on. I don't think she is too experienced; she isn't even especially assured in her personal life, but I want to take care of her and I think she needs a caretaker." Ciarán explained the incident at the rodeo.
Liam reached his hand out for the tray of buns. "You know; you can't take on a woman because she needs a caretaker. There has to be more than that, bro. Jocelyn just told me she loves her and thinks she is sweet. The other thing, though, is she thinks there is something in her past that is keeping her tangled up."
"I'd have to agree. I think she is not comfortable with men in a trusting kind of way and you know how we O'Connors are, determined and just a wee bit protective." Both men laughed.
"Yeah, Jocelyn has complained about that little trait quite a bit lately. It is definitely an acquired taste. Just take it slow, and if she is someone to hang onto, you will know. Just don't make the same mistakes I did. You miss out on so much."
The men brought back plates with hamburgers for the girls when their shift at the grill was over and they each went about filling their plates with the assortment of choices covering several tables. Ciarán was helpful but not too accommodating for which Katie was grateful. It was as though he knew when to pull back. Jocelyn had said he was intuitive and this was an example. Katie laughed watching the races and even joined in a couple. She was consumed with giggles when Ciarán and Liam tried the three-legged race. They did not win.
Katie watched as Ciarán had been careful not to touch her constantly but it was easy to tell he was a man who wanted to make contact.
He murmured in her ear as they were approaching a group of men who worked for the ranch. "I am going to put my arm around your waist so that no one tries to hit on you because it is a male sign of ownership. I know it sounds bad the way it comes across, but—"
"No, I get it. Thank you for thinking of it."
Once the arm went around her waist, it did not come away often. Katie tried to ignore its presence, after a while didn't mind, and at times, even forgot its existence. She noticed Ciarán never let his hand wander and often asked her if she was doing all right. For the first time in several years, she felt herself relaxing with a man. When it was time to go, Ciarán made sure she had her empty container to take home, as her salad was indeed a hit with the kids. He handed her up into the truck and Katie let him. He smiled a relaxed smile that did not make Katie worry about what was next.
"Well, beag Leanaí, it has been a long afternoon. Did you have an enjoyable time?"
"Yes, thank you for bringing me, and for not letting me stay home." That last bit was said quietly but she knew he heard her because his lips tweaked upward at the corner.
As they pulled into her drive, Ciarán said, "Hold on."
Katie knew by now he wanted to open her door and she wasn't as put out by it anymore. Ciarán walked her to the door and before he turned to leave, he reached out and ran his thumb over her lips, feeling their silkiness. Katie found herself lost in the caress and when he spoke, it startled her.
"I know you are trying to learn to trust me and I am attempting to be as patient as I can, but I need you to know that while I won't act on it, I want to do more than kiss you, Katherine."
"Mmm, you do?" she responded a bit dreamily.
He lowered his voice even further, his hot breath immersed her cheek in warmth, and her face suffused with heat. "But I won't, not today. I want you to be ready. I don't want to scare you or rush you. But I am going to kiss you."
He ran his work-roughened finger down her cheek and leaned in for the kiss she had told herself she didn't want. The heat it emanated suffused her cheeks with its warmth. Katie leaned her face slightly closer to him for the second meeting of lips. She felt her body sway against him, his muscles taut in an effort to hold himself in check. His arms supported her back and head before she pulled away to answer him.
"You don't what?" she aked a bit more solidly, "Oh, yes." She licked her lips. "I don't like to be rushed. Thank you."
Her bemused face found his tender look and she laid her head on his chest. The kisses were only a few seconds but they teased her senses as no other kisses had ever done.
After she had stayed there a few moments, Ciarán spoke. "Can I see you next week?" His voice delivered in sotto voce.
"Yes, I am off next Thursday and Sunday," she said, her voice mimicking his level.
"Think of what you would like to do. I will call you Wednesday."
"Mmm hmm."
Ciarán stepped away and got into his truck, waving his goodbye and drove off. Katie never wanted a man to continue after the first real kiss so much in her whole life. Damn, this is the one man who didn't even try. She moaned her dissatisfaction but also knew he was right. She instinctively knew he would never take her without both of them being ready. How could she be so ready to hop under the covers with him when he wants to run the show all the time? Is it because he did want to control things and the rewards of letting him are so good, and she wanted it so badly? But that wasn't going to happen. She needed to watch things.
Ciarán picked Katie up on Thursday and took her to a fellow rancher's place after they ate at a local café because he wanted to see him work with a new horse that had been mistreated. He offered to do something else but Katie wouldn't hear of it. She was fascinated with the patience and soothing voice of Ciarán when the man offered to allow him a little time to gentle the stallion.
"Now, don't you climb this fence, Katie, because this is a scared animal and he might rear up and hurt you while you are on the railing. It doesn't seem a possibility but I have seen it happen. Mind my words now." Ciarán waited while Katie fumed at the restrictions and then he spoke close to her ear. "Please, honey, I can't worry about you while I am in the corral, it will break my concentration and spook the horse."
He knew just what to say, Katie later reflected. She agreed. He kissed her cheek quickly. When she turned to offer her lips for him to kiss, he was gone. She was left longing for that lost kiss. He did not step up the intimacy one bit, either.
Sunday he brought her to the house for dinner and cards. They laughed and had a wonderful time with Liam, Jocelyn, younger brother Cián, and older sister Kelli. Ciarán's seemingly random touching of hand, arm, shoulder and feet were not lost on Katie. She knew he was trying to get her used to his touch because she had watched him do the same thing with the skittish horse the other night. She heard his low, comforting voice and his careful touch.
He was patient, just as Jocelyn said. Katie felt tingly all over and wanted to feel his lips and hands on her. She shivered with the thought of him kissing her, loving her and of him not loving her. She was confused with her ambiguous feelings but she was happier with his touch than without. She began leaning slightly in his direction or placing her hands strategically close to his. He did not seem to notice but Katie knew he must because he was so observant of her needs.
Every night she was available, he asked her to do something with him or come to the ranch and every evening he lightly caressed and had kissed her cheek the previous night but not more than brush past her lips. Katie was going to explode with aching, burning need.
One weekend, while Liam was gone on a guide trip, Ciarán brough
t Katie over to spend some real time with Jocelyn and Kelli. He, Cián, and two foremen played cards. While Katie liked Liam, she was a bit uncomfortable with his level of intensity. She knew that it came from the first child syndrome besides the O'Connor male bossiness. Jocelyn told Katie that she would get used to him and ignore the blustering like she did, eventually. Katie was not so sure.
She wasn't like Jocelyn, who was so sure of herself she would blow all the guys off with a flip of her hair and a smart remark. Katie was also not so sure she would ever tease and challenge the bull as Jocelyn did. Kelli said Jocelyn loved the excitement. She laughed when listening to Kelli's stories of living at home with five brothers and one sister.
Cián was their next topic. As the baby, everyone, even Ciarán, who was only a couple of years older, pampered him. Cián also hated it when he was left at home because of his age and they often had to take him with them anyway. Katie spoke about being an only child and the loneliness it sometimes brought with it. They laughed about wanting to trade parts of their childhood.
The men went out to do a last check of the night and left Kelli to continue sharing about living with brothers who got progressively more protective and bossy when they got older. She explained how they would intimidate Caoimhe's boyfriends and how Liam told one of Kelli's boyfriends to mature up. Kelli told Katie she shouldn't be too sad she didn't have bossy brothers because when they got mad, it was all over. Jocelyn said she could tell when Liam was getting angry—he quit using the Irish endearments.
"Oh, he still will use endearments, but they are all in the English, not the Irish."
Kelli nodded her head in agreement.
"And they run their hands through their hair or tip back their hat," added Kelli.
Jocelyn continued, "When Liam is angry, he talks low and quiet. It's kind of eerie really and then if he is extremely upset, he is silent."
"When Ciarán is irritated or wants to be serious with me, he calls me Katherine," supplied Katie. "And he tips his hat back, but I have never seen the hair combing yet. Oh and he calls me little one, in Irish when he is frustrated, but not angry."
"Hmm, he must think highly of you because Ciarán doesn't waste time getting angry or emotional with those he doesn't care about. It is kind of the O'Connor way. I told you the two of you were dating." Jocelyn's satisfied smirk irritated Katie a bit.
"Well, I don't know if you want to hear it, but I think Jocelyn is right, you are dating. And even if you weren't yet, the way my brother is always checking to make sure you are okay, and the way he looks at you, he is a goner."
Katie chose not to weigh in on the comments but wondered if she was as well. Unfortunately, she had a past and that history would put off a straight arrow person like Ciarán. He might not expect her virginity to be intact but she was sure he would think her damaged goods if he knew what she carried around her neck like an albatross.
The conversation moved on and the men had finished their evening lockups, coming to sit with them, so the women needed to find alternative topics. Katie stole a look at Ciarán and wondered if he was someone who could help her end her fears of being manipulated and harmed by men. She wondered if he could be the man who she finally trusted outside of her dad. He certainly was more mature. She knew he was taking extra special care of her and was going slow, agonizingly slow. If she could only know for sure that he was the one for her; that he could handle her past.
Armed with her new-found courage after spending time with the O'Connor women, Katie decided when Ciarán left her at the door tonight, she would get that deep kiss she had craved for several weeks. That toe curling, throat-swabbing kiss that wiped the memory of all others away. When Ciarán leaned down to kiss the corner of her lip and cheek as he had done so many times before, Katie moved her lips fully into the line of fire and startled him when his lips touched her soft ones. Ciarán hesitated for a second before quickly stepping back beginning to apologize but Katie cut him off.
"Don't you dare apologize to me, Ciarán O'Connor. I wanted that kiss. Hell, I want a tonsillectomy if you would be so obliging."
He looked at her for a moment and a slow smile spread across his face. "You do, huh? Well, how about I do it again, only this time with meaning?"
"Yes, please."
He took her breath away as she knew he would. Their relationship changed that moment.
"This makes you my girl, officially, you know."
"Does it?"
"Yep. No doubt about it, you are mine now."
"Oh. Well, if you say so, Mr. O'Connor."
"Oh, I say so." He ended the evening with a kiss that tangled tongues and sought her capitulation. Her kiss found his acceptance of her as she was. They were both partially satisfied.
Chapter Three
The Gentling
July Fourth weekend was coming up and Ciarán told Katie he was looking for a nice night out with her. She knew he had been going slowly with her. The other day she'd heard him on the phone with one of his brothers.
"Hey, how are you, man? Yeah, I have a few questions about dimensions and things. Can you help me with some calculations? Great. Katie? Oh, she's good. You have to meet her; she is sweet and down to earth. Yes, pretty too, but that isn't going to last forever; it's all the other stuff that is important, but you know that. What? Yeah, but I need to go slow with her because something has made her not trust men and I need to give her the opportunity to learn me, trust me more than she does now.
"Some days it almost kills me not to kiss her to distraction, hold her in my lap, touch her body but I can wait as long as it takes. Shane, if I can gentle her, remove her fears when things are new and figure out her triggers, I think she is the one for me. No, I know she is. I know, but patience isn't a virtue I often exercise with humans. You know that. We are making progress."
She heard him laugh and they went on to another subject. She eased away from the door. She was much more comfortable with him even if she was still skittish around men in general. His protectiveness showed the most when he was standing between her and her perception of danger. He seemed to notice her tells and he said she definitely had them.
Like what he did the other night. She smiled now when she thought about it, but it was no laughing matter at the time for her. He had taken her to a local play and had left her inside the playhouse so that she would not get too hot while he went to get the truck he'd had to park a few long blocks away. He checked if it was okay to leave her and she was relaxed and thought there would not be a problem.
Standing in the doorway waiting for Ciarán to return, Katie was taken off guard by a man who put his hand on her arm. Almost immediately, she felt her chest tighten as she tried to get away from him but he continued talking to her. Katie stepped away from the door and had backed up flush against the dissecting wall attempting to place distance between herself and the man. He was trying to convince her to go to dinner with him and she broke out in a cold sweat as the panic rose. She had not been this terrified in well over two months. The suffocating fear had not returned this badly since she had been with Ciarán, who gave her comfort and security.
"Hey, beag Leanaí, I'm ready to go. I parked in front."
Katie could hear his calm voice and she knew she was wrapped in his protection immediately. The strange man who said he was John or something continued to talk to her. She was not even sure what Ciarán said. But she did hear the tone of the man's voice as he tried to convince her that she needed to do something she did not want to do; that scared her. Stuart used to try to convince her to do something he wanted and she would eventually give in to him. Often it did not turn out well for her.
Katie allowed Ciarán to wrap his arms around her and pull her into him. She stepped back into his embrace more firmly. He tightened his hold. He recognized the man as a rancher living some twenty miles west of town and listened for a moment to the conversation, her breathing slowing down and her rushing blood was slowing.
"Hey, John, haven't seen you
in a while. How's the ranch? See you have met my lady, sweet isn't she?" The man immediately apologized to Katie and they continued to chat as Ciarán lightly ran his hand up and down her arms, soothing her. He spoke near her ear so that she relaxed in his warm breath and the deep rumble in his chest when he spoke.
"Well, nice talking to you, but we both have to get up in the morning. Come out to the ranch sometime. We'll barbecue." Ciarán smoothly led Katie out of the theater and into the truck.
"Katherine, are you all right?" Ciarán asked as he placed her in the vehicle and helped her to buckle the belt, which she would never have let him do if she were not upset.
"I'm all right. I-I just, um, don't like pushy men." Katie knew she had a tremor in her voice but could not control it even though she was much calmer.
"Honey, that man, John, is a friendly guy and you are a lovely lady. John is looking for a wife and you definitely look like a keeper to most men. I know he was trying hard to convince you to step out with him and it seems like you told him no. He wasn't aggressive, beag Leanaí, but it was obvious you were frightened."
He hesitated before going on, hoping he could help. His eyes never left hers.
"I know someone has hurt you. I want you to know that no one will hurt you with me around. If you can't talk about it, I understand, but you will need to at some point. You know, Jocelyn might be a good one to talk to and she is family. I can promise you she does not share what she does professionally so I would not know what you talked about unless you told me. Nevertheless, until then, I need you to know that I will always protect you, no matter what. I will try to be with you when we are together around other men to help you become familiar with them before I leave you alone. But it is no way to live and I want you to think about talking to someone."
"Thank you, but I can handle it. I have done perfectly well so far."
"Whether you want it or not, I am taking care of you, so it will be easier, a muirnín if you agree."
Ciaron O'Connor 01 - His Gentle Persuasion Page 3
