by Ann Aguirre
The tall, majestic woman came around the desk to kiss Chance on the cheek. “You have a tiger’s eyes but a lion’s heart. Guard your family well.”
“I will,” he said firmly.
I fixed a stern look on her. “Look after Booke for me. He’s the best . . . and I don’t know if you appreciate how amazing he is.”
“Oh, child. I have such plans for that man.” Her tone was positively lascivious, her smile greedy with anticipation.
Twila and Booke? Well, why not? Texas could do worse than a man like Ian Booke as their king. I wondered if he had an inkling of her attraction. Theirs would be an interesting courtship and I looked forward to hearing about it secondhand. They could have the adventures from this point; I was done.
Then Twila offered me her hand. Since I had no gifts, only a pentacle scar on my palm, I didn’t expect the flash between us. She pulled me into a vision so fast that I couldn’t fight it, like the riptide of rushing rapids. Images flickered before my eyes, faster than I could process them. A party with all our friends, Chance laughing forty years from now, a baby dressed in a blue onesy, a little boy with black hair and amber eyes, running toward me. I saw Jesse and Shannon, ten years down the road, and Twila, holding hands with Ian Booke. The images sped up until they were a blur of color, and they flung me back out into the real world when she let me go.
“What the hell,” I panted.
Chance wrapped an arm around me, his expression worried. “What did you do to her? I might not have the power I once had, but—”
“A parting gift.” Twila ignored my furious lover. Her smile was gentle, almost tender, as if she knew how disorienting the exchange had been.
Damned freakin’ loas. It would serve her right if I barfed on her carpet.
But there was a more important matter to hand. So I asked, “You’re saying that’s what lies ahead?”
“Possibly. Such things are never certain. Witness love’s triumphant return.” She tipped her head at Chance. “There are no destinies now. Life will be what you make of it, whatever you choose.”
“Thank you,” I said softly. “Freedom is a priceless gift.”
I remembered Kel. I ached. And yet I didn’t see how it could’ve ended otherwise. He had given up all hope.
“You earned it, not me. Farewell, Corine Solomon.” That was a dismissal, and one didn’t waste Twila’s time, so I backed out of the room like she was an empress, a courtesy I’d learned in Sheol. Her smile flashed wide and white; she understood.
Then she went back to work. Texas didn’t run itself.
The drive to Laredo went in a wink. At least, it seemed fast with all the talking. We both had so much to say, so many questions.
“I hated seeing how broken you were,” Chance said softly. “But . . . I loved it too. Since you left, I’ve felt like I was fighting to gain equal ground.”
“I was afraid. Of so many things. And then the worst came to pass. I lost you. If I could do it all over, forgive you sooner—”
But he was already shaking his head. “I wasn’t ready in Kilmer. You were right to call me on my bullshit. I needed you, but I didn’t want to open up. I was still clinging to the old double standard that had already failed once.”
“So you’re saying if I’d taken you back in Georgia, it wouldn’t have lasted.”
He lifted a shoulder in a graceful shrug. “I suspect not. You needed more from me than I was willing to give then. It took some straight talk from both you and my mom to wake me up.”
“Not many couples can say they’ve literally been to hell and back.”
His smile melted me from the inside out, and when he reached out to caress my stomach through my thin T-shirt, the tingles increased. I’d heard that sex drive spiked during pregnancy, but I could totally drag him into the backseat right now. From the way his eyes heated and his breath caught, he read my desire.
“Keep looking at me like that and we won’t make it to Laredo today.”
Butch yapped, keeping us on task. I fixed my gaze on the road and changed the subject. Already, Chance didn’t remember much about his time in his father’s realm. It was a protective measure, preventing humans from learning too much, coveting power they shouldn’t possess. But Ebisu didn’t need to worry about that with his son. Maybe, in time, he would be comforted to know he had a grandchild on the way—that his line would continue in the human fashion.
Then it occurred to me.
“Oh, my God,” I said.
“What?” Chance cut me a worried look.
“Pull over. Right now.”
His worry escalated to fear. “What’s wrong? Is it the baby? Oh, God, are you bleeding?” He was shaking when he pulled onto the highway shoulder, eyes frantic.
To shut him up, I kissed him as he’d done me in Sheol. That took longer than I expected, as he responded with full ferocity and desire. Only the honking of an eighteen-wheeler reminded me why we’d stopped in the first place. Otherwise, we might’ve tried to see if we could have sex in a Pinto.
Breathless, I handed him my phone. “Call your mother.”
Fond Farewells
Min was incoherent when she heard Chance’s voice. For the first ten minutes of the conversation, it was just her sobbing and him reassuring her. Eventually, she said, “I love you. I love you. Tell me where you are.”
I said quickly, “Have her meet us in Mexico. Give her Tia’s address.”
Chance complied. Then he added, “I’ll see you soon. It’s all right, I promise.”
More joyful tears, and I joined in, while the big trucks rolling by shook the Pinto’s windows. “Put Corine on the phone,” she eventually demanded.
With a surprised look, Chance gave back my cell. “Here.”
“Yeah, Omma?”
That surprised him again. He laced our fingers and brought my hand to his lips, thanking me silently for honoring his mother. But I’d always loved Min, even when he and I were apart. But from his expression, you’d think I had given her a chalice of solid gold. Since they’d had only each other for so long, in a way, I had.
“Thank you,” she whispered. “Thank you, ddal.”
“I have even better news for you,” I said then.
“Impossible. Nothing could be better than this. Nothing.” Her voice was strong, certain, but also shaky with repressed tears.
“Not even your first grandchild?”
The silence held for almost thirty seconds, and then she deafened me with incoherent, joyous shrieks. When she found the words at last, she said, “I was wrong.”
As she rang off, Min was mumbling about buying plane tickets. It seemed we would see her soon. Chance didn’t let go of my hand as he pulled back onto the highway. Our fingers clung for the remainder of the drive, and he didn’t release me until he had to in order to open my door at the Ortiz place. Inside the house, I got hugs from Chuch and Eva, but Booke wasn’t in the front room to greet us. I caught him packing. When I came into the bedroom, he folded the shirt in his hands meticulously and then faced me. As soon as Barachiel’s body hit the ground, he must’ve been booking travel arrangements. I didn’t blame him. He had only eleven months of freedom left. I hoped Twila treated him well upon his return, but that was his issue to deal with; he’d made the bargain freely, after all.
“I’m sorry about Kel,” he said softly.
“He chose his fate. Not everyone is so fortunate.” But it still hurt.
In my mind’s eye, I saw him fighting Barachiel, fierce and magnificent. I remembered what he’d said in his last moments. The future lies before you, dadu, but I have outlived my purpose. I choose to die a free man. Tears welled up in my eyes. Loss was inevitable; I couldn’t have saved everyone, no matter how I wanted to. I’d freed Booke, rescued Kel once, but his ultimate fate wasn’t mine to decide. At least I had given him that much. The wound in my thigh burned like righteous fire, a reminder of what my fate would have been without the half demon who had not been ordered to protect me, that last ti
me. That ritual would’ve killed me.
He chose his path.
“Speaking as one with experience in adaptation, I think he never quite got over the shock of learning his whole existence had been constructed on a lie. He couldn’t adjust . . . and so, in those final moments, he thought only of surcease.”
“He seemed to be at peace.” But those were only words, what people said in order to comfort each other. Yet I hoped Booke’s interpretation was accurate.
And I hoped, unlike the full-blood demons in Sheol, that Kel hadn’t simply ceased to be. Perhaps his human half meant he had a soul, so there was an afterlife or reincarnation waiting for him. Those were the most cheerful thoughts I could muster, and they didn’t stem the tears. Booke hugged me, his hands gentle on my back. Soon, I got myself under control and stepped away.
“That wasn’t what I came to talk to you about, actually.” I put on a cheerful expression, as I had so many reasons to be happy . . . and grateful.
“Sorry I saddened you.”
“It was the circumstances, not you. The edge will dull in time.”
He nodded. “All things do.”
“I came to find out when you’re leaving. Have you made arrangements yet?”
“I’ve arranged a flight to South Africa, as you suggested. I’m taking steps to secure a legal identity.”
I grinned. “As your own son. How very Connor MacLeod of you.”
“In my case, there can be only one as well, I think. It’s best for the world.”
“So you don’t plan to get married and settle down?” I teased.
“Not for years, if ever. I was forcibly tied to one spot for so long that I can’t imagine anything more heavenly than being a nomad.”
“For eleven months. Then you have to come back to work for Twila.” I wondered if I should give him a heads-up about her romantic inclinations, but no. She wouldn’t thank me for it, and I was sure she would take no for an answer, should Booke be disinclined to her pursuit. Personally, I thought they would make an awesome couple, once he got done sowing his wild oats.
“Don’t fret. It won’t be as onerous as you seem to fear.”
That wasn’t my concern at all. I’d seen the library and it would be a good fit for his abilities and interests. “So when are you leaving?”
“On the red-eye.”
“We’ll take you to the airport.” This was kind of a delicate question, but . . . “How are you fixed for money?”
“I have an account that’s been untouched, earning interest, for some years. If I can get them to release the funds, I’ll be set. That will probably require a forged will.”
“But until then . . . ?” I didn’t know how he’d afforded the fare to South Africa.
“I crafted some spells and sold them. Apparently hermetic tradition is rather rare here in the Southwest. They fetched an excellent price. I expect I shall have no trouble moving more arcane accoutrements to fund my travels.” He patted the smart phone in his pocket. “I can always ask on Area 51 for prospective buyers if there are no shops handy.”
“I had no idea there was so much money in what you do.”
“Nor did I, but it stands to reason. The spells can be used by anyone, which makes them invaluable, once I imbue a focus object with the power.”
“Oh, wow.” Such things would be priceless to the right parties.
“I can take things from here, my darling girl. Don’t trouble yourself further.”
“By which you mean, leave me alone already.” I smiled to show I was joking.
“Never that,” he said soberly. “I’ve been alone far too long ever to take good friends for granted. I’ll email when I can, but don’t look for me on chat.”
“Duh. I expect you to have awesome adventures. I’ll tell the baby all about you.” Unable to believe I’d spoken those words in that context, I pressed a palm against my belly, but I wasn’t showing yet. In three months or so, I’d have a bump, and a bit after that, I should be able to feel movement.
Silently, I worried; I mean, this kid had been conceived in Sheol while his father was a demon queen’s consort, and I wrestled with Ninlil, trying to keep her from doing crazy evil shit twenty-four seven. Moreover, my full-on Solomon Binder heritage had been in play, and Chance had still been a godling. There was no telling what I was incubating, though all early tests showed a healthy pregnancy against all odds. Which meant this peanut was a fighter. With Chance and me as parents, he or she would need to be.
“I’ll come when the baby’s born. Promise.”
“Twila might not let you. You’ll be starting your indenture around that time.”
“I’ll find a way. I know you said emergencies only, but . . . could we dream walk under those circumstances?”
I smiled up at him. “Absolutely.”
“What can you absolutely do?” Chance joined us in the bedroom, wrapping an arm around my shoulder.
In the past day, I hadn’t gotten many moments alone. He was a bit reluctant to let me out of his sight and I didn’t blame him. Things still felt fragile, like we needed to touch each other to remain grounded. No matter what, I’d never accepted that his last words to me in Sheol weren’t the literal truth. Even death can’t keep me from you. And here he was; he’d given up godhood for my sake. I nestled against him, marveling that he was here; he’d chosen me against his father’s wishes.
“Meet Booke in a dream to show off the baby.”
His arm tightened on me, a reflexive reaction to the crazy fact that we’d made a new life in hell. “That presumes he can’t come in person? I’m inviting everyone we know when the little guy is born.”
“You know something I don’t?” I raised a brow.
Chance shook his head. “I couldn’t see the future, even from the other side. And now . . . I’m just an average guy.”
My gaze swept him from head to toe, then I laughed. “You’ll never be that.”
He kissed me as if he couldn’t help himself and didn’t stop until Booke cleared his throat. “Far be it for me to stop a PDA, but I need to finish packing.”
“Sorry,” I said, but I was too happy to be embarrassed.
Chance accompanied me to the living room, where Chuch was holding Cami. Eva was in the kitchen, putting the final touches on dinner. Jesse and Shannon would be here soon; this was a farewell party for Booke, but unlike the other one, it would be small and intimate. Hopefully, it wouldn’t be crashed by demons either.
We’d all gone through so many changes over the years. I was no longer a solitary creature, desperately longing for acceptance and a sense of belonging. Instead, I had friends, a man who loved me, and a family on the way. The latter sent a pang of pure visceral terror through me, but I reined it in with the surety that I had a great example of how to love a kid from my own parents. And our little one would have Min as a loving grandma. Not to mention we had the entire Ortiz clan at our backs; Chuch had claimed me long ago as an honorary cousin, which meant I had an extended family the like of which I’d never known.
“We’ll figure it out,” Chance whispered as he drew me down beside him on the couch.
I believed him.
Dinner was a lively affair. For old times’ sake, Eva made her famous tamales. I served them up with green sauce, cream, and grated cheese. That night, we talked and laughed with our friends, knowing it was the last time for a while. After this, there would be no more insane adventures. When you had a kid to protect, you got serious about staying out of trouble. I planned to post charms all over our residence in Mexico, paying Tia handsomely for protection. No matter what, our child would be safe. I could tell Chance felt the same way; his expression revealed the awareness that our lives were about to change irrevocably.
After the meal, we sat in groups of two. Chance kept me close while Jesse snuggled with Shannon. By the time Eva got Cami down for the night, nobody really felt like playing party games. I just wanted to chill and enjoy their company. I listened to the guys talking about
sports for a little while, until Shannon pulled away from Jesse, beckoning me into the other room.
Butch followed us, so I figured I might as well kill two birds with one stone. I said, “Let’s take him out.”
I had the feeling she wanted to talk about something, but I hoped it wasn’t more guilt over hooking up with Jesse. I was having another guy’s baby, for fuck’s sake; if that wasn’t the definition of I’ve moved on, then I had no idea what would convince her. Over the past months, I’d done my best to convey that I was cool with the way things went down. Plus, I was totally, absurdly in love with Chance—to the point that Jesse had thought, at one point, that I was in serious denial and in danger of needing mental health care.
She read my look as Butch trotted into the grass, and laughed. “It’s not what you think.”
“No?”
“I just want to make sure we’re okay. Before the whole amnesia thing, we talked about going into business together—”
Yeah, I remembered. We’d discussed running a consignment shop together, what seemed like ages ago. But circumstances changed. She had new dreams now, and I understood. So did I, actually.
She went on, “Now, I’m putting together a business plan for my own deal. I just don’t want you to think that—”
“Shan, you’re always going to be my best friend.” I put an end to her verbal stumbling. “It doesn’t matter if we live together . . . or work together. As for your idea, I think Zombye Gear will be epic.”
“It’ll hit the goth market anyway.”
“All I’ve ever wanted was for you to be safe and happy. I know that sounds super motherly, but I don’t care, and you have to deal.” More tears prickled at my eyes. “Gods, these hormones. I don’t even know how Eva survived it.”
Shan laughed. “I won’t say you’re glowing, but I am relieved to have an explanation for all the barfing.”
“Me too,” I muttered.
“That was trippy, right? You go in with a demon dog bite and come out with, ‘Surprise, in seven months, you’re having a baby.’”
