“Yep,” says the farmer. “That’s because he’s a very special pig. You see those medals around his neck? Well, the first medal is from when our baby son fell in the pond and was drowning, and that pig dove in, swam out, and saved his life. The second medal, that’s from when our little daughter was trapped in a burning barn, and that pig ran inside, carried her out, and saved her life. And the third medal, that’s from when our oldest boy was cornered in the stockyard by a mean bull, and that pig ran under the fence, bit the bull’s tail, and saved the boy’s life.”
“Yes,” says the salesman, “I can see why you let that pig sit right at the table and have dinner with you. And I can see why you awarded him the medals. But how did he get the wooden leg?”
“Well,” says the farmer, “a pig like that—you don’t eat him all at once.”
*There are exceptions, of course. Hillary Clinton made $99,517 trading cattle futures between October 1978 and July 1979. This could lead to tasteless jokes about Mrs. Clinton getting inside information from the cows at NOW, if one were inclined to that type of coarse, sexist humor.
*Unless Bill Gates buys the departments of Justice and Defense. In which case, watch out.
Eat the Rich: A Treatise on Economics Page 30
