by DiAnn Mills
Sunday morning, Millie helped me into my navy dress with a white sailor collar and red tie. Except for Jim, all of Honey’s guests wanted to sleep in.
The weather was clear with an icy breeze when we left the house. Of course, Jim escorted Honey. I was close behind them, holding Dad’s arm with Mother on his other side. Millie stayed behind to help Esther.
We headed down the lane to the gravel road. Ahead on the left lay Shegog’s Grocery, a squat building with gray shingled siding. When I was six, it already looked as old as Moses. On the other side of the road the clapboard church had a spire but no bell.
The ice-covered river ran parallel to the road until it veered east just before the church, leaving enough space between the road and the river for the church property.
“You’re looking smart this morning, Mr. Clarke,” Honey said, a lilt in her voice.
Jim chuckled. “Are you fishing for a compliment?”
Usually I smiled at my sister’s flirtatious nature, but today I didn’t feel like smiling. Once we reached the church, I went straight to my classroom. “Good morning, girls,” I said brightly when I reached my room. “Have you heard about the pageant?” My scholars peppered me with so many questions, I could hardly get through my shepherds-and-wisemen lesson.
The day was full with an afternoon of play practice—squirming kids everywhere—followed by the evening service. That night I fell into bed too tired to stay up for the Will Rogers radio program, the family’s favorite ending to a Sunday night.
On Monday after lunch, the gang suited up to go skating again. I was looking forward to a quiet afternoon in the library with Jim and his sore ankle. Today, I’d ask him to read my favorite passage from Jane Eyre. Instead, he made a suggestion that gave me a shock.
Chapter 5
When Julie came downstairs with her head tilted in that charming way, listening to find out who was there, an idea flashed through my mind. It probably wouldn’t work, but I had to try.
I waited until she sat on the piano bench so no one else could hear. Then I knelt beside her and spoke softly. “Julie, won’t you come with us to the river?”
Her chin jerked. Her face turned pale. She didn’t answer.
I leaned closer. “My ankle won’t let me do any fancy footwork today, but it has improved enough so I can do some simple skating with the others. Won’t you come out with me? I’ll stay beside you every minute. Please come.”
She wet her lips. “I can’t,” she whispered.
“I won’t let you bump your nose. Promise.” I gulped some air and pushed harder. “You’ve got to face your fears someday, you know. If you don’t, you’ll grow old in this cocoon of a house and never know true happiness. I know it’s painful, but please try.”
She pressed her tiny teeth into her bottom lip until I feared I’d see blood. Her chest rose and fell. I waited, hardly daring to breathe, praying like I hadn’t done in months.
“I’ll have to change,” she whispered.
I touched her hand. “I’ll wait for you.”
With new starch in her backbone, she climbed the stairs like a queen. I cheered every upward step.
Honey touched my arm. I looked at her, startled to see the others had already gone. “Are you coming, Jim?”
“Julie’s coming with me to the river.”
Her eyes widened. “You must be a miracle worker. She hasn’t set foot near the river since…”
“I know. It took some persuading, but I talked her into it.”
She lifted a plaid scarf over her chin. “There’s no sense in my waiting, too. I’ll see you there.” She strode through the door, skates dangling over her shoulder. Her green ski hat and that blonde hair made me wish for my Brownie camera and a wide-angle lens.
Fifteen minutes later I was still waiting. Had Julie lost her nerve? Finally she stood in the hall holding out her skates. “Are these still wearable? It’s been so long, I’m afraid the leather is cracked through.”
I took them from her and turned them over. “They’re sound enough. I’ll carry them with mine. Which coat is yours?”
“The black wool with a sheepskin lining.”
Buttoned up to her chin with her curls bobbing beneath a black cloche hat, she looked like a pixie. I grasped her mittened hand and placed it inside my bent elbow. “Miss Simmons, let’s cut some ice.”
She smiled, but I could feel her tremble.
When we stepped onto the porch, the sun glaring on the mill’s tin roof made me squint and turn away. We crossed the gravel road and reached the river in two minutes.
The gang had vanished by the time we changed into our skates. I could hear Tubby shouting and Alice squealing. Bob called Honey’s name as their voices faded on the faint breeze.
“I feel so wobbly,” Julie said, clinging to my shoulder as she stood. “Maybe I’ve forgotten how. I never used to skate with my eyes closed.”
“Give yourself a chance to get a feel for the skates. Here, let’s get set. Cross your hands and hold on to me.” I put my right arm around her waist. My left hand clasped her right and my right hand held her left. She fit into my shoulder like she’d been carved to match. Her hair tickled my cheek. She smelled like a summer meadow.
“Now let’s get in stride. Lead with your left.” Slowly, jerkily at first, we headed for the center of the ice. After ten strides, she found her rhythm and seemed to anticipate my moves. We picked up a little speed.
“I can’t believe I’m doing this.” She blinked hard. “The sun is so bright I can almost see it.” Energy swelled inside her until she glowed. “The sawmill is on our left, isn’t it?”
“Yes. Another river branches off to the west just ahead.”
“Let’s take the branch, Jim. I used to love to go that way. Some days I’d skate all the way to Nebraska Valley.” Her feet moved with natural grace.
“Say, you’re pretty good.”
A gleam of pride shone in her smile. “I won first at state figure skating two years running. Where are we now?”
“Just beyond the sawmill. I can see a wall of mountains in front of us. They’re splotchy with bare trees and evergreens and patches of white.”
She nodded. “We haven’t had much snow this year. I hope we get some soon or tourist season will be a washout. Dad depends on tourism in the winter.” She tilted her head. “There’s a cardinal in the woods over there.”
I listened. The birdcall came from the pine forest rising on our left. I hadn’t noticed it before. The river ran between the mill and Shegog’s store, giving me a splendid view of their backyards. Further on, the woods surrounded us.
“Maybe we ought to turn back,” I said. “I don’t want to tire you out the first day.”
“But I don’t want to go back yet. I’m having too much fun.”
“Why don’t we sit and rest awhile, then. My ankle is starting to talk to me.”
She turned her face toward my cheek. “I forgot about your ankle! Let’s go back.”
“All it needs is a little rest. There’s a ledge ahead. We’ll sit down.” A piece of gray slate, about three feet wide and a foot deep, extended out from under an old spruce. We reached it in two glides.
“Whew! I’m warm,” Julie said, puffing, as she pulled off her hat. “That was great fun.” She tilted her face toward the sky. “I love the crisp feel of a winter breeze.”
A masculine shout came from the east.
Julie turned to me. “You’d rather be with Honey. I’m beginning to feel terribly selfish.”
“Don’t give it a second thought. There’ll be plenty of time for me to be with the others. It’s your turn, Julie. You deserve it.”
She relaxed against my side, contented. The trouble was, I was feeling pretty contented myself.
“Too bad we can’t stay here,” I said. “It’s so peaceful. No problems or worries.”
“Like law school?”
“How’d you guess? My father is a good man by most standards. He cares about his sons. He ju
st has his own ideas about what’s good for them.”
She shifted positions, and her hair brushed my ear. “What are you going to do?”
“Go to law school, I guess.” I drew in a slow breath. Cold air made my lungs ache.
Her face crinkled around the eyes and forehead. “Can your father’s approval make your life fulfilled forever? Is it enough?”
“That’s the question I keep coming back to. Sometimes I see faces when I close my eyes—Ricky, whose father left before he was born; John, who lives in a ratty tenement with no running water; Tommy, who’s lived on the street for as long as he can remember—dozens of them, Julie. I can’t get them out of my mind.”
“Do you really want to?” She turned toward me, her face inches from mine. “If you forget them, something inside you will be gone.”
I squeezed her mitten. “How’d you get so smart in a backwater place like this?” I stood and brushed my pants. “We’d best get moving. A few more minutes and we’ll freeze to that stone.” I gave her a hand up, and we set off.
At the time I didn’t stop to analyze the situation, but when we reached the others half an hour later, Honey’s arched eyebrow and silent look brought me back to reality with a thud.
Chapter 6
Julie? Are you awake?” Honey asked from the other bed.
Under the quilt, I stretched and sighed, enjoying a strange, sleepy excitement. Was it because I’d faced the river and returned triumphant? Or was it something more?
“What time is it?” I asked.
“Seven. I’m thinking of knocking on Jim’s door and asking him to go for a walk.”
“Honey, you shouldn’t knock on the fellows’ door. Mother and Dad wouldn’t like it.”
She scuffed on her slippers and stood. “I’m not a child anymore, Julie. And besides that, Jim and I have an understanding.” Her voice softened. “I wouldn’t be surprised if he gave me a ring for Christmas.”
“Do you really love him, Honey? You’ve had so many beaux. How do you know it’s real this time?”
“Two good reasons, child. First, he’s a sheik, and second, he’s worth twenty-five thousand a year on his allowance. Just wait till he gets his inheritance.”
“Honey! That’s not love.” I sat up. “How would you feel if he had an accident that disfigured him or paralyzed him?” I reached for her. “Don’t do this, Honey. You’ll regret it all your life.”
She ignored my hand. “Save the sermon, sis. I know what I want. And what I want right now is Jim Clarke.” She shuffled to the closet.
A moment later Millie burst in. “Oh, you’re awake, Julie. I came to help you dress. Esther gave me a black dress to use for the play.” She laughed. “I could put two of me in it and still have room left over. What a lark!” She headed toward the closet. “Say, I like that maroon sheath, Honey. It makes your hair glow.”
Honey opened the adjoining door and called, “Lucy, Alice, get up! We have to work on our costumes today.”
Alice mumbled, “Go away!”
“It’s after seven,” Honey said. “You’ve got two minutes to roll out, or I’m going for some cold water.”
Lucy giggled. “This could be interesting, Alice. I wonder if the boys are up yet. We could get some glasses and…”
Millie said, “They went out for an early fling on the ice, all three of them.” Honey sat in the chair and ticked off the day’s agenda. “Millie’s dress is ready. Jim and Tubby can wear their usual clothes. Bob has a pair of knickers to play Peter Ruggles. Mother’s white nightgown will do for Julie, but we ought to make a nightcap for her, too.”
I pulled on a corduroy jumper, biting my cheek to keep from commenting on the nightcap idea. Arguing with Honey only made her more determined to have her way. I finished dressing, then hurried downstairs to help Esther knead bread dough. Better the kitchen than Honey’s endless plans.
The men arrived at the breakfast table on time. Dad was already at the mill and Mother had walked to Shegog’s for some thread, so the meal was livelier than usual.
“Throw them hotcakes on over, Bob,” Tubby said. “On second thought, maybe I should just exchange plates—my empty one for the platter.”
Lucy cut in. “Don’t forget us girls, you hollow legs. We’re hungry, too.”
Esther trudged in, bringing the pungent smells of coffee and sausage with her. “Here, Millie, help Miss Julie.” She set a platter beside me, poured my coffee, and hurried out, saying, “I’ve got more hotcakes on the griddle.”
“What are we going to do while you ladies sew?” Bob asked between bites.
Honey said, “You can carry props from the attic. And we need a Christmas tree at the church. If we finish the dresses in time, Lucy, Alice, and I will go over and decorate it later today.”
“I want to do my nails this afternoon,” Lucy complained. “All this practicing is wearing me out.”
Tubby sang, “‘O, Christmas tree…’ Where do we find one?”
“Cut one down in the woods out back,” Honey told him, as though it were a dumb question. “There are plenty of small spruces around.”
Bob’s voice dripped sarcasm, “This is getting better all the time. You think it’s easy to chop down a tree?”
“You’ll live, Bob dear,” Honey told him. “After all, you and Tubby can take turns.”
The big fellow sputtered. “What about Jim? What’s he doing?”
A fork clinked on a plate. “Jim will be driving around Athens, collecting things.” A paper rustled. “Here’s the list.”
Jim read, “A table and chairs from the parsonage, lamps and rugs from Mrs. Anders—”
“I found some darling old ornaments in an attic box,” Honey interrupted, “and Grammy’s old china set. We’ll bring them down today.”
“Hunky-dory!” Bob said. “Be careful today, Jim. You don’t want to strain yourself with all that heavy work.”
Honey answered before Jim could. “Cut it out, Bob! The pageant is tomorrow afternoon. Don’t start griping now.”
Bob and Tubby were unusually silent for the rest of the meal. At eight-thirty, we went our separate ways: the fellows outside and the ladies into the library.
Honey pushed a wad of flannel at me as soon as I stepped through the library door. “Put on this nightgown, Julie. I’ll close the doors. You can change in here to save time.”
“Why do I have to put it on now?”
“Just do it,” she said sharply. “I want to see it for myself.”
“Let me help you.” Millie came behind me and pulled at the fastenings on my dress. Minutes later, I stood in the center of the room with soft flannel brushing my bare feet. After pulling two garments over my head, my hair felt like a tumbleweed.
A light knock sounded at the door.
Jim called, “Honey, I need directions to Mrs. Anders’s house.”
“Come in, Jim. Everyone’s decent.”
I whispered frantically, “Honey! I’m not decent.”
The door slid back as she said, “Silly, tomorrow you’ll be wearing that in front of a whole crowd.”
“It’s not the same.” I wanted to die.
Too late. I could hear Jim’s voice saying, “Just sketch a map on the back of your list, and I’ll be on my way.”
As soon as Jim strode out, Honey said, “I think we can make a nightcap from one of Dad’s big handkerchiefs. I’ll go up and fetch one.”
I couldn’t stand it any longer. “Why do I have to wear a nightcap, Honey? No one wears those anymore. I’ll look ridiculous.”
“The play was written in the 1800s, when girls wore nightcaps.” She trotted away. The next moment I heard her shoes on the stair treads.
“Don’t worry so much, Julie,” Alice said around her wad of gum. “None of us are going to be fashion plates for this thing, you know.”
I blinked back frustrated tears. “I just wish she’d listen to me sometimes. She acts like I don’t have a brain.”
Millie hugged me. I returned the
hug, thankful for her concern but still uncomforted.
Honey came whizzing back and set a soft cloth on my hair. “Isn’t Jim sweet? Whenever I ask him to do something, he does it right away. He’s one in a million.”
Alice giggled. “One with a million, you mean.”
“Don’t be crass.” Honey laughed deeply.
“He’s thoughtful and kind,” I said softly.
“And he’s mine.” Honey snatched the cloth from my head. “Everyone had best remember that.”
I reached for the buttons on my gown. “Are you through with me now?”
“Yes. You can run and play.” Honey moved to the game table, where Alice and Lucy were working over their gowns.
“This is boring, you know that, Honey?” It was Alice and she wasn’t kidding.
I groped to find the sleeves in my jumper as Millie said, “I’ll go up and help your mother sew rings on the stage curtain. She must have a hundred left to do.”
“I wonder how Tubby and Bob are doing.” Alice cracked her gum and snickered. “I wish we could take a little hike and spy on them.”
Lucy spoke up. “You’d be a dead duck. If you laugh at Bob while he’s in a grump, he may break some ice and stick your head in the river.”
“Now that would be a sight,” Honey said as I reached the stairs. “I’ll get my camera. Let’s go.”
Even Millie laughed that time.
Chapter 7
I couldn’t believe how callous Honey was acting toward Julie. As I headed out to my car, I thought about the scene I’d just been through in the library. I’d been almost as embarrassed as Julie when I stepped inside the library and saw the poor girl standing there in a nightgown. Her face could have lit a town square.
As soon as Honey drew the map, I’d hurried away. What could explain Honey’s behavior? Ever since we’d arrived, I’d been picking up little hints that things were strained between the two sisters, but I didn’t think much of it. I’m not that close to my brothers. Those things happen in families.
The Oldsmobile purred like a warm cat as I headed down the gravel road. Shegog’s Grocery loomed just ahead. On impulse, I parked in front.
