I just wrote out my vows for your mother, and I thought now would be a good time to share my promises to you. Just like you’re going to be experiencing all sorts of new things, I’m new to this whole parenting thing. Let’s learn together. That’s my first promise. I will always try my best and learn together with you and your mother.
I promise to be the kind of father you can come to with any sort of problem. I don’t want you to ever worry about getting in trouble, and I want you to always feel like you can be open with me. I will try my best to be as open-minded and helpful as I can be. That’s what fathers are for, and I don’t want you to doubt that for a single second.
I promise to attend every dance recital, or soccer game, or spelling bee, or father/daughter dance, or choir concert you want me at. I can be a bit of a workaholic, so I may need your help with that one. You and your mother are the most important parts of my life already, so I can’t even imagine how much love I’ll feel once I actually get to meet you. I don’t want to miss a single important milestone in your life.
I promise to support each and every one of your dreams. I don’t want you to ever wonder whether or not I’m on your side, because I’ll always be right there. Along with that, I promise to respect your individuality and let you live the life you want to live.
I promise to go through the crazy teenage years with as much grace as I can. No promises that I’ll be perfect, but I’ll try my best. Right now, raising a teenager is the furthest thing from my mind, but I know that I’ll blink and it’ll be here. I promise to give you your space and freedom to explore who you are as a person and how you fit into this world. I will never judge your decisions and always help you be the best you can.
Finally, I promise to always be your number one fan. Your biggest supporter. Your cheerleader. Your confidant. Your amigo. Your right-hand man. Your hype man. Your best pal. Your friend. Your father. My sweet baby girl, I already love you so much. I promise that that love will never stop. I promise to love you unconditionally and always help you find your way.
Love always,
Dad
As I signed “Dad” for the first time in my life, I felt both excited and overwhelmed. It suddenly occurred to me how vastly unprepared we were for our baby’s entrance into the world. We’d gotten so caught up in the holidays and family and the engagement that we’d neglected to realize that we were around two months away from having a baby in our home. I closed my eyes and thought back to the first time I went to Brett’s house after his first daughter was born. What did I see there? A highchair. We didn’t have one of those yet. Baby gates, and baby-proof cabinet clips, and baby monitors—why hadn’t I thought of any of this? We didn’t even have a crib yet. Casey had bought some pink onesies and burp cloths since finding out we were having a girl, but that wasn’t nearly enough.
I panicked as I scribbled some ideas down on a pad of Post-It notes I kept on my desk for exactly this reason. Highchair. Stroller. Car seat. Diapers. Changing table. Baby gate. Baby monitor. Blankets. Baby wipes. Diaper cream. Pacifier. Diaper bag. Anything I’d seen at Brett’s house or on a television show that involved babies made its way onto my list. Call baby-proofer? I wrote with a question mark. I wasn’t sure if such a person even existed, but, at the very least, it would remind me that we needed to baby-proof the house. How about those contraptions people had in their homes to dispose of diapers? What were they even called? A quick Google search told me that they were Diaper Genies, and I added that right to the top of the list.
“Take a deep breath, Alexander,” I whispered to myself. I placed my head in my palms and rubbed my eyes. Calmer now, I looked back over the letter I had written to our future child. I cared, and that was more than lots of fathers could say. I was going to be fine. I would get the hang of being a father. I told myself over and over again that the nerves were the worst part. I’d learn all about raising a child as it came at me. For good measure, I added Buy book for first-time fathers to my baby list.
The letter I’d written stared me down as a reminder that I was doing just fine. As I folded the paper into thirds, I wondered what our baby girl would be like. Would she look more like me, or more like Casey? What sports would she like? Would she take ballet lessons like Emily had as a child? Or would she take skating lessons, like Connor and Patrick had? Maybe she would ice skate. There was a whole world of possibilities out there, and I wanted my daughter to have whatever she wanted.
I hadn’t realized until I put these words to paper how thrilled I was about becoming a father. Sure, I was also quite intimidated, but I figured that just came with the territory. When it came down to it, I was counting down the days until I officially became a father. It hadn’t been on my radar before meeting Casey, but, now, I couldn’t wait for our bundle of joy to arrive. She would be absolutely perfect.
I brushed tears away from my eyes as I stuffed the letter inside an envelope. Ignoring the bitter taste, I licked the envelope shut and ran my fingers over the opening. The next time that letter would see the light of day would be when my baby girl was old enough to read it. That brought a smile to my face. In the neatest handwriting I could, I wrote “Baby Girl Preston” on the front. For now, the two letters to the most important girls in my life would be safe in my bottom desk drawer.
Chapter 27
Casey
I walked down the carpeted staircase and marched into Alexander’s study, a rush of determination flooding every inch of my body. I had been thinking about this since the moment we’d gotten home from Tampa, and I hoped that at least a small part of Alexander was on the same page. “Babe, can I talk to you?” I asked.
Alexander, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers, looked up at me with that sexy gaze of his. “Sure,” he said. “What’s up?”
“I was just thinking,” I said. My voice trailed off as I tried to decide whether or not I should keep going. There was a teeny tiny voice in the back of my mind that was still worried about scaring off Alexander.
“C’mon, Case. Tell me what’s on your mind.” Alexander stood from his plush rolling chair and leaned against his desk.
I took a deep breath and went for it. “I want to get married before the baby comes.”
“Ok,” Alexander said without hesitation. His face didn’t show even the slightest hint of surprise or curiosity.
“Ok?” I repeated. “That’s it?”
Alexander moved closer to and rested both of his hands on my shoulders. “I’d marry you next week, and I’d marry you next year,” he said. “Whatever makes you happy is good with me. Besides, I sort of had a feeling this was what you’d decide.”
I was surprised to hear Alexander say this, but, at the same time, I wasn’t surprised in the slightest. He always seemed to know what was on my mind. “I’ve been thinking about this a lot,” I revealed. That was the truth. I’d spent most of the car ride back wondering if getting married while pregnant was a good idea. Once I decided I was ok with it, I pondered if I should even bother asking Alexander. I finally decided that the worst thing he could say was no. “I want to have our baby as Mr. and Mrs. Preston.”
“Then that we shall,” Alexander said. He smiled and kissed me on the forehead in that way I loved. “But I don’t want you to stress. You’re already far along in the pregnancy. Are you able to put together a wedding in a month?”
I shot him a mischievous grin. “You bet! I’ve been planning my wedding since I was ten years old.”
“Casey,” Alexander started. He took me by the hand in a way that said something was wrong. “Are you able to have that dream wedding of yours if we get married so quickly? I don’t want you to settle.”
“You’re my dream wedding,” I said. “As long as you’re standing there at the end of the aisle, it’ll be a dream come true.” I meant every word. Alexander was the most wonderful man—and boyfriend, and fiancé—I could ever imagine. This was the easiest question I’d answered since I’d accepted his proposal.
“Alright then.” Al
exander let out a light chuckle. “Guess you better get to planning, then.”
The wheels started turning in my mind as I thought of all the things I had to take care of as soon as possible. I knew our wedding would be small, just family and friends, of which we didn’t have a lot, so I hoped that finding a venue so last-minute wouldn’t be a problem. I knew the exact right person to help me plan everything: Liana. She had one more week of maternity leave left, so she could at least help me get started. Lucky for me, I had a best friend who was the queen of party throwing and event planning. I’d always thought that would’ve been a better career fit for her than social work. Oh well. Other brides wouldn’t get to experience her stellar planning, but I would.
“Are you sure?” Liana asked, when I was done explaining my decision to move the wedding up. She’d listened intently as I told her what I wanted in a wedding, as if I was a newly-engaged bride meeting with my wedding planner for the first time.
“I am, Li,” I said. “This is what I want. I want to be married to my baby’s father before she’s born.”
Liana got up from her chair at her kitchen table and walked out of the room and up the stairs. Unsure if I was supposed to follow, and uncomfortable due to the baby’s positioning above my bladder, I sat there and waited. She emerged with a navy blue binder that easily weighed five pounds. “You’re lucky your best friend doesn’t throw anything away,” Liana said. “Remember this bad boy?”
I snorted. “Your wedding binder? How could I forget? You brought that thing everywhere for a year.”
Liana sat beside me and flipped through the pages, skipping the parts she knew were irrelevant for me. Florist? Too complicated. Ballrooms? Too big for our small wedding. Photo booths? Unnecessary. She stopped on a binder divider labeled “Venues- Small and Medium”.
“A-ha,” Liana said, clearly quite pleased with herself. “These are the venues that I think will be good for you. Some of them are a bit less formal, that we looked at for our rehearsal dinner and Sunday luncheon, but they’re all nice.”
“I wouldn’t expect anything less from you,” I smiled. We decided our best bet was to divide and conquer. Liana opened up the prongs of the binder and gave me the six venues she had for the first half of the alphabet, and she took the ones in the second half. After looking at photos online and confirming that I’d be content with any of them, we started our phone calls. At this point, we were more concerned with availability than price. Alexander had given me his credit card with full license to put any charges I wanted onto it. Of course, I wasn’t going to take advantage, but, as long as the venue wasn’t absurdly priced, I figured we’d be fine.
“Saturday or Sunday, right?” Liana whispered as she waited for someone to answer her call. I nodded. Who was I to be picky about day of the week? I had a slight preference for Saturday weddings, just because that’s what I was familiar with, but Alexander and I had agreed that either day would work.
The first venue I called, Café Madson, looked gorgeous online, so I was excited that they were in my half of the pile. When they said that they had an availability on that Sunday, I knew it was too good to be true. “Three weeks from this Sunday,” the man on the other end, whose thick French accent proved to be a distraction, said when I asked to verify the date.
“That’s fantastic,” I said. I looked at the printouts Liana had kept in her binder. “And that’s for the Garden Room?”
“Oui. That is correct,” he said. “The other two rooms are booked. For the Garden Room, you’ll need a minimum of one hundred guests. The price per guest includes…”
I zoned out after he told me the minimum. There was no way we had one hundred people we wanted at our wedding. In fact, I could easily list all of my guests in under a minute. I thanked the man for his time and hung up, anxious to see if Liana’s search was going any better.
“I’m on number three,” she said. “The first two had nothing open, and the third one put me on hold.”
I called three of the five venues left on my list. Two of the people I spoked with apologized and told me they had nothing available, and the third didn’t even try to hide their laughter, saying they had been booked up for months.
I took a bite from the bowl of chips that had been staring me down since I’d gotten there and started dialing the next number. “Four oh four,” I whispered as I pressed the buttons.
“Yes, I’m still here!” Liana screeched into her phone. “That sounds wonderful. Can you give me just one second?” She turned toward me and held her hand over the mouthpiece. “Case, this one’s perfect. Marlton Ballroom.”
I groaned. Hadn’t I made it clear to Liana that ballrooms were too big and over-the-top for our wedding? “Liana, I really don’t—”
“I know what you’re going to say, Casey,” Liana interrupted. “It’s not a typical ballroom. It’s just called that. Their minimum is only thirty-five, and the room holds up to eighty. They just had a cancellation, and it’s yours if you want it.”
Liana returned to the call and turned speakerphone on as we listened to the wedding coordinator go over the meal options, the venue amenities, and pricing. The more I listened, the more excited I became. As we listened to the woman explain everything, Liana pulled up the venue’s website on her laptop and scrolled through the pictures. The venue was stunning. As its name suggested, it looked like a ballroom, but not the kind that would have an absurd amount of empty space with my relatively small number of guests.
The room itself, both from photos the venue provided and photos guests had shared, looked spacious yet intimate, which was exactly what I was going for. Liana and I nodded in agreement that this was the place. The prices were in line with area averages, and I was impressed with the vast amount of meal options. The ballroom was stunning, a venue I was sure would have been a contender even if I wasn’t on a tight schedule.
“We’ll take it,” I blurted as soon as the coordinator stopped talking. I didn’t want to chance anyone else swooping in and taking the venue, and I knew I wouldn’t find anything better. “I can drop off the deposit later today.” We scheduled to meet with her during her next availability, later in the afternoon.
Liana and I jumped out of our seats and leapt toward one another for a hug. I had a venue. Now that that was out of the way, we could focus on the next major hurdle: a dress. “You up for an adventure?” Liana asked.
“Depends what it is,” I said coyly. Liana and I had very different definitions of the word “adventure.”
“The shop I got my wedding dress at is about twenty miles away, but we have some time to kill before we have to head over to the venue,” Liana said. “Let’s go find you a dress!”
Liana kissed Greg and the twins goodbye before I had a chance to change my mind. I decided the drive over would be the perfect time to discuss what I had in mind for the centerpieces. My goal was simple and elegant. At each red light we hit, I showed Liana some centerpiece ideas I’d printed out. “I love the colors of this one, but the style of the other one,” I said.
“Purple and silver?” Liana asked.
I gulped. I couldn’t tell if her tone was that of approval or distaste. “Yup.”
“It’s a gorgeous color scheme,” Liana said. She put her SUV in park and gave me a look that told me she meant it. “It’s perfect for you guys. Let’s head over to one of the craft stores if we have time before the appointment.”
“Sounds good to me.”
The look the greeter at the bridal shop gave me when she saw my round belly and swollen ankles was enough to send me running in the opposite direction, but Liana nudged me forward and motioned for me to stand my ground.
“I’m looking for a wedding dress,” I said hesitantly.
The woman raised her eyebrows and looked down over the rims of her cat-eye glasses “And when is the wedding?” she asked
“Three weeks from this coming Saturday,” I replied.
“Three weeks?” the woman laughed. When’s she saw I wasn’t jo
king, she straightened up in her seat. “You’ll have to buy off the rack.”
Liana muttered a quick “thank you” and pulled me with her past the table.
“Li, maybe this isn’t such a good idea,” I said. “I should either wait until after the baby to get married, or I should go find some cheap, white dress from Walmart and be done with it.”
“Don’t be silly,” Liana said. She ran her hand along a row of gorgeous bridal gowns. “I’m sure the perfect dress is here somewhere, just waiting for you.”
Another, much more helpful employee directed us to the back corner, where most of their off-the-rack gowns were located. Liana and I decided our best bet was to pull anything two or three sizes above my normal size. This accounted for one size up because formalwear always ran small, and another size or two so I didn’t crush my poor baby. “What do you think of this one?” I asked Liana, holding up a plain A-line gown.
“Do you like it?” she replied. “Or did you just pick it up because it’s the right size?”
Liana knew me too well. I hung the gown back on the rack and sifted through the dresses, hoping to find a diamond in the rough. After twenty minutes of searching, and searching again for anything we might have missed, we headed to the dressing room area with five gowns. I was most looking forward to trying on a mermaid gown Liana had found. It had a beaded bodice and sweetheart neckline, but I was hesitant to get too excited about it until I saw if it fit. Buying off the rack meant everything had to fit perfectly. There was no time for orders or alterations.
With all of the bridal consultants busy helping size two brides who had months or years before their big day, Liana and I helped ourselves to a vacant stall. “Let’s try the mermaid first,” I said, drawing in a deep breath.
I took off my clothes and watched in the mirror with anticipation as Liana slid the dress up my body. It fit— if I was fine with having my bottom hang out and not having the zipper shut. I didn’t even try to hide the disappointment on my face. “It’s ok, Case,” Liana assured me. “We have four more.”
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