“And if I could strangle him right now, I would.”
“It wouldn’t be enough. But he’s in my past. And I’ve worked with therapists over the years to try and figure out exactly who I am. I’m not just a broken shell. I’m not the person I was. Yes, I’m quiet, but that’s because I think about what to say and how I need to be the person I am, rather than the person I was. I have all the locks and the security that I can get, but I’m not as scared as I used to be. I’m not that person anymore.”
I took a step forward unconsciously, and she didn’t pull away. I was grateful. “I’m not the same person either.”
“Will you tell me who you were?”
And so I did. I told her how I joined the club, the things I did. I told her how I left. Explained the real story behind the scars on my back. I told her everything. And then she told me about Coby. About what he had done to her, what her parents still did.
And as I watched tears fall down her face, I held everything in so I wouldn’t punch something. So I wouldn’t scream in rage at my lack of control. There was nothing I could do. All I could do was listen and hope to hell that she would be okay. I didn’t think she could forgive me. I didn’t think she could look at me like she had before.
I was a reminder of a past she had tried to run from.
Like she was my reminder.
And while I knew I wanted her at my side forever, I wasn’t sure if she wanted the same from me.
“I don’t know what to do now,” she whispered.
And then I remembered that I hadn’t done the one thing I should. What Dillon had told me to do. Grovel. So, I went down to my knees in front of her.
Her eyes widened, and she looked at me like I was crazy.
“I’m sorry. I’m so damn sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t stay in long enough to see what Coby became. I’m sorry I couldn’t save you from him.”
“That was never on your shoulders. Never your burden.”
She reached out, tracing my brow with her fingertips.
I closed my eyes and barely resisted the urge to lean in to her touch.
“But because I knew your dad, and I knew of you through him, I stayed away. I knew I needed to keep my distance.”
“But then you asked me to dance,” she whispered.
I nodded. “And it was the best moment of my life. I’m sorry I didn’t stay away.”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t do the same.”
I closed my eyes, holding back everything so I could breathe and focus. “We’re out, though, babe. And we’re always going to be.”
She looked at me then, her eyes wide.
“We’re not those people anymore. We’re allowed to move on and have a future. I want to know you. The person in front of me. I want to test the path we could have together. I want to figure out what this thing between us could be. Please, forgive me. Know that no matter what happens, I’m not the person I was before. I tried to atone for my sins, attempted to find the path that led to a salvation that I knew would never truly come. But in my heart, I hope that you’re on that road with me. Maybe not on the bike behind me because riding is such a different thing, but perhaps holding my hand as I try to figure things out.”
I snorted as I finished, shaking my head as she stood there staring.
“I was never good with poetry. But just know that I fell for you when I held you that first time. When you wore that green dress that made your eyes shine. I fell in love with you when you said yes to my request to dance, and even more when I had my lips on yours for the first time. And I’m going to love you for the rest of my life. I’ll never forgive myself for hurting you, for bringing back the past. But I know that if we try, we have a chance. There can be a future where it’s not about where we came from, or the sins we committed. But rather what we can do to atone for them. I hope you’ll be by my side as we do it. I hope you’ll forgive me.”
She was quiet for so long that I had to wonder what to do. Did I get up off my knees and walk out? Did I keep speaking? Or did I remain kneeling and stay silent?
Her hands caressed my face, and a single tear fell down her cheek.
“I didn’t know you before. But I know you now. And I think…I think we can try.”
My heart burst open, hope and pain radiating through me and twirling around like a tornado.
I could hardly breathe, barely comprehend what she’d said. Nothing had ever felt like this before. And there were no blueprints. No roadmaps for me to figure out what to say or what to do.
“I fell for you then, too. Or maybe it was when you smiled at me from behind the bar. Or when you touched my jaw to see if I was okay. I want to know who you are, too. I want to find that peace and figure out what to do. I don’t want to think about where we came from. I just want to move on. I want to figure out who we are now. And there’s nothing to forgive, Beckham. We both have our faults. It’s what we do with our lives now that matters.”
I pulled her close, put my hand on the back of her head, and tugged her lips to mine.
And when she succumbed, kissing me back, I knew that we could do this. This was the moment we would start again.
I had been taken with her all along, since the first moment I met her.
When we were two separate journeys intertwined.
We would have to figure things out, and there would be more bumps in our road.
But as she kissed me, I knew we could weather the storm.
We had each other. I had her.
The girl in the green dress with the wide eyes.
She was mine.
Epilogue
I found my perfection. Him.
No, he’s not perfect. Nor am I.
But we can find our own way.
~Meadow, journal entry
Meadow
“Touch yourself,” he commanded, and I obeyed, arching my back as I slowly slipped my hands up my body to cup my breasts. I rolled my nipples between my fingers, my eyes on his as he slowly worked his cock in and out of me.
“More,” I whispered.
I needed more.
He grinned, his hands on my hips as he continued to work his dick in and out of my tight sheath.
“We’re going to break your table if I go any harder,” he drawled, and I grinned harder, slowly playing with my nipples.
He loved when I touched myself, just like I loved when he did the same. The day before, I had been in the shower, getting myself off with my showerhead as he stood outside the door, working himself with his hand. We had both come, calling out each other’s names, and then he was down on his knees as the water cooled around us, getting me off once again with his mouth.
His beard between my thighs was the best sensation ever. I was a very wicked woman. And I loved every minute of it.
“I can get a new table,” I panted, letting go of my breasts. I reached out, slamming my hands down on his chest, though it wasn’t easy since he was too far away from me to really grab on to.
“Beckham,” I whispered. “Please.”
He leaned over me, a smirk reaching his eyes. I loved when he looked at me like that. It was so sexy, even though it shouldn’t be. On anyone else, it would be a horrible thing that would make me roll my eyes and walk away. Prove the size of their ego. On him? It was perfect.
“Okay, cupcake. You asked for it.”
He thrust once, hard, and I groaned. “Don’t”—thrust—“call”—thrust—“me”—another thrust—“cupcake.”
He stilled and then moved faster. His lips were on mine, my hands on his back as he slowly worked in and out of me before going faster and reaching a crescendo that sent us both over the edge. The table made a pained noise, and I winced as it shook beneath us. When one table leg creaked so loudly I was afraid it might snap, I pushed him off me, even as he kept moving. He simply rolled his eyes, gripped my hips, and somehow lifted me while continuing to thrust.
The strength of the man almost made me come immediately.
But I held on, grippi
ng his shoulders as he pumped in and out of me as fast as he could, even as we were standing. When I slid one hand between us, slowly flicking my clit, he grunted, coming inside me as I clamped his dick with my orgasm.
“Jesus Christ,” he mumbled, and I laughed.
“Well, I guess you were right about the table.” He squeezed my ass with one hand and slapped my hip with the other.
“We were going to break it one day,” he said before slowly sliding out of me.
He reached for a towel and cleaned us up, and then I stood beside him in my kitchen, shaking my head.
“I probably do need a new table.”
“Before you get one, we’ll make sure we break this one in just right.”
“By ‘break in,’ you mean break completely?”
“Probably. You doing okay, cupcake?”
I reached between us and squeezed his balls until his eyes crossed.
“What did I say about calling me cupcake?”
“That I shouldn’t? I don’t know. I like it when you get all fiery and feisty on me. It’s kind of a turn-on.”
“We are late for dinner with our friends. You know Brendon’s working the bar, and you can’t mock him if you aren’t there.”
His eyebrows shot up, and I laughed.
“I know that’s your favorite pastime.”
“I’ll have you know we were just engaged in my favorite pastime.”
I laughed at him, then went up on my tiptoes so I could kiss his bearded chin before running off to the bathroom so I could finish getting ready.
He chased me but, thankfully, I closed the door in his face so he couldn’t delay me any more.
“You’re a cruel, cruel woman,” he called from the other side of the door.
“You have stuff in the other bathroom. Use it.”
I didn’t mention that I wanted him to move in completely. We weren’t ready for that. We were getting closer, but ever since we’d found out that our paths were connected, we had tried to start at square one. Not that we’d ever had a square one. But we were taking things slowly, even if that meant having sex on my dining room table where it could break at any moment.
I smiled at that, then went and showered before getting ready as quickly as I could.
Beckham was waiting for me in the living room when I walked out, and he stood up abruptly from the couch before coming over to kiss me hard on the mouth.
“You ready to go mock Brendon?” he asked, and I laughed.
“You’re the one who mocks. I try to hold him back from beating your ass.”
“He could try,” Beckham said with a laugh, and I shook my head in response as we turned off all the lights and headed to the bar.
We hadn’t heard from anyone from either of the clubs since that night a few months ago. My mom would probably call again eventually, just to annoy me. And I honestly didn’t know what I would say. But I knew that, no matter what, I wouldn’t be going back. They weren’t after me. Coby would be behind bars for a good long while. At least, that’s what I hoped. No more appeals for him. Nobody from the club wanted Beckham back in. Nobody wanted me back. And while we would always be careful, we had a future with each other. And that’s what I had to remember. We might be the products of our mistakes, but that wasn’t the end game. We had more to give.
And as I walked into the bar with the love of my life on my arm, I knew that I had found my peace. Even in the place I hadn’t been looking, the exact opposite of where I thought I’d find it.
Aiden and Sienna were off in a corner, yelling at one another even as they laughed and joked. They were probably fighting over food or one of their many cats. I loved the way they acted with each other. Violet and Cameron were already in the booth, having a talk with Dillon and Dillon’s latest girlfriend. I wasn’t sure what number this was, but apparently, college life was good for the kid. He was always respectful, but there was no chance that the romantic at heart would be settling down anytime soon.
Watching Cameron and Violet fall for each other during the worst times of their lives had been beautiful even as it had been painful. One day, watching Dillon fall in love would be wonderful, too. I couldn’t wait for it to happen.
I squeezed Beckham’s hand as we walked over to the bar, Harmony and Brendon behind the counter, laughing at each other as they worked.
I slowly put my hand over Beckham’s mouth before he could say anything, and he kissed my fingertips.
“Be nice,” I whispered.
“I’m always nice.”
I raised a brow. No, he wasn’t. But then again, I hadn’t always been either.
But these people that had made us their family meant everything to me. Harmony had been given her second chance.
I was coming to realize that maybe we were allowed more than one chance at happiness. And the man at my side was mine.
We all came from different backgrounds, and with varied connections, and even though Beckham and I had once been fractured, we were slowly putting ourselves back together.
The Connollys had taken us in, even knowing we came from dark places. But then again, so had they.
These people were my peace, my future.
And as I held onto Beckham’s side, laughing at something Brendon said, I had to remember that this was where the future lay.
No past was required.
I had been taken with him from the first moment I saw him, and that was something I would never forget.
No past was needed. Only a future paved with our own choices.
* * * *
Also from 1001 Dark Nights and Carrie Ann Ryan, discover Ashes to Ink, Inked Nights, Wicked Wolf, Hidden Ink, and Adoring Ink.
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THE BISHOP by Skye Warren
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TAKEN WITH YOU by Carrie Ann Ryan
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DRAGON LOST by Donna Grant
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Ashes to Ink
A Montgomery Ink: Colorado Springs Novella
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One step at a time.
Ryan is the newest tattoo artist at Montgomery Ink Too and knows the others are curious about his secrets. But he’s not ready to tell them. Not yet. That is…until he meets Abby.
Abby and Ryan thought they had their own paths, ones that had nothing to do with one another. Then…they took a chance.
On each other.
One night at a time.
* * * *
Inked Nights
A Montgomery Ink Novella
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Tattoo artist, Derek Hawkins knows the rules:
One night a month.
No last names.
No promises.
Olivia Madison has her own rules:
Don’t fall in love.
No commitment.
Never tell Derek the truth.
When their worlds crash into each other however, Derek and Olivia will have to face what they fought to ignore as well as the connection they tried to forget.
* * * *
Adoring Ink
A Montgomery Ink Novella
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Holly Rose fell in love with a Montgomery, but left him when he couldn’t love her back. She might have been the one to break the ties and ensure her ex’s happy ending, but now Holly’s afraid she’s missed out on more than a chance at forever. Though she’s always been the dependable good girl, she’s ready to take a leap of faith and embark on the journey of a lifetime.
Taken With You: A Fractured Connections Novella Page 11
