Red flags are flying again. I don’t really know too much about him. I’m not sure if I want to give him my address or not. He is a doctor and I know where he works, how bad can he be? There are a few crazy doctors I’ve seen on TV that chop up people and store their body parts in freezers in their basements. No, stop right there. Man, I watch too much TV.
“Alright, that sounds fine. I should be out of the office by six. Give me a little time to freshen up and you can pick me up at seven. Does that work for you?”
“That will work just fine,” he says.
I give him my address, then he walks me back to my building, with my good hand tucked securely on his arm. We say our goodbyes and he again tells me he’ll see me at seven.
Back at my desk, I have a message from Willow to call her ASAP. I hope everything went alright with being discharged.
“Willow, what’s the matter? What happened? Are you and the baby alright?” I spit out anxiously.
“Oh my gosh, yes. Calm down, woman. The baby, Asher and I are home now. Before I was discharged, I heard some of the nurses talking about Dr. Peters. They were gossiping about a stunning blonde they’ve seen him with a few times and said they thought he had a lunch date with her. Could that by chance be my beautiful blonde sister-in-law, Amelia?” she asks with mock sarcasm.
“Nurses are gossiping about us?” I ask, then start to have a little mini freak out.
“So it is true and it’s you. I knew it.”
“You knew what?” I ask her, getting irritated.
“I saw the way he was looking at you. The nurses were all saying it was about time he started seeing someone. They were all a little bummed it wasn’t them, but they were all saying how they were glad he was getting back out there. Whatever that means.”
“He just walked me back to the office. It was strange all he wanted to do was talk about me, but as soon as I asked him about his family, he clammed up. I don’t know what to think about all that.”
“I didn’t hear everything the nurses were saying, Abbey was fussing, but they all seemed to be happy for him.”
“We have a date tonight, he’s picking me up at my apartment and we’re going out for Mexican. Willow, I know I haven’t really talked too much about Roger, but can we get together soon? I’d like to ask your opinion about something,” I ask her, glad I finally gathered enough courage to talk to someone.
“Sure, actually my mom and I were just talking about hosting a dinner party at the house on Monday. Did you want to talk then? If you want, we can do it sooner.”
“If it’s alright, I’d like to talk sooner,” I say, needing to get this off my chest.
“Sure, enjoy your dinner date with Dr. Peters tonight and come over tomorrow for lunch. My mom and step-dad are here, but we can still have a private chat.”
“Willow, you’re amazing. It’s not too much, is it? I know you just gave birth and have a newborn. I don’t want to overwhelm you,” I say.
On second thought, I’m kind of hoping she changes her mind.
“No, not at all. My mom is already driving me crazy, and seriously, I haven’t even had my daughter since we walked in the door. Between my mom, my step-dad, and Asher, they won’t give her to me. Oops, strike that. I hear Abbey now. I think she’s hungry. Look, I’ll talk to you tomorrow at lunch. Have fun on your date tonight, Amelia.”
“Thanks, Willow, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Kyle
Leaving the hospital, I head home to get ready for my date with Amelia. I just hope we can get through dinner without me freaking out about my sister and parents again. I hope I didn’t give her the wrong impression about my family. I had a great childhood, and I have wonderful parents.
I punch Amelia’s address in the GPS and stop at the florist for flowers. I pull up in front of an impressive high-rise apartment building and park in the parking garage. I press her apartment number on the intercom system by the front door and wait patiently. A few seconds later, I hear her sweet voice and tell her I’m here. She buzzes the door open, then I take the elevator to the twentieth floor. I knock softly, she immediately opens the door and looks stunning in a little black dress. I also notice the red, spiked heels and my mouth starts to water.
“You’re right on time,” she says, as she puts in an earring.
“These are for you,” I say, handing her the flowers and it immediately puts a huge smile on her face.
“Kyle, they’re beautiful. Thank you. I’ll just be a few more minutes, come on in. Can I get you anything to drink while you wait?” she asks.
“No, I’m good. Thank you.”
“I just need to grab my phone and bag, then I’ll be ready to go.”
I stand just inside the door and wait for her to get what she needs. She has an amazing apartment. It’s warm and inviting, and there are pictures of her family plastered all over her walls. Amelia walks back into the front room and grabs the flowers.
“Let me just put these in water and then we can go.”
She moves around her kitchen with great ease. I love the smile on her face and the bounce in her step.
“Alright, all ready to go. So where is this restaurant?” she asks.
“It’s not far, but I’ll drive,” I tell her.
She locks up her apartment and I place my hand on her upper back, as we walk back down to my car. I open the car door for her and close it gently once she’s inside. I take a deep breath and walk around to the driver side. We talk about her busy day and how hectic today was for her. I tell her about the two births I had today, and she listens with great interest.
“I love new babies. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to bring them into this world for a living,” she says with a dreamy look on her face.
“It is a true labor of love,” I say, throwing her a sarcastic smile.
“That was a good one. Labor of love,” she says laughing.
I park the car at the restaurant and once inside, we’re promptly seated. It smells amazing in here. Spicy salsa and warm chips are set on the table, along with water glasses. I don’t even need to look at the menu, I know exactly what I want.
“Take your time deciding what you want. You can’t go wrong with anything here, it’s all really good.”
“What are you getting?” she asks me, peering over the top of her menu.
“I’m getting beef and cheese enchiladas, with rice, beans, and coleslaw. It’s my absolute favorite.”
“That sounds really good. I think I’ll have the same.”
The waitress comes and takes our orders, then we’re left alone to talk.
“So, what do you like to do for fun, Amelia?” I ask curiously.
“When I said I have a boring life, I wasn’t kidding. I don’t do much of anything except work. I used to love ice skating. My parents have a winter cabin up in the mountains. My family and I used to go there all the time. The pond off the house was my sanctuary. I could stay out there for hours and skate by myself,” she says with a peaceful look on her face and a sparkle in her eye.
“What about relationships, anything ever serious?” I ask, hoping I’m not being too forward. Immediately, I see the error in asking. She grabs a piece of hair and starts twirling it nervously.
“To be honest, yes, I was in a serious relationship up until last year, but it ended rather badly,” she says and twirls her hair harder.
I can tell whatever happened had to have been horrible for her. I know I haven’t known her that long, but I’ve never seen her play with her hair before. I took some psychology classes in college and I understand that it’s a possible sign of depression. I know it could just be a nervous habit, but her reaction concerns me.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry,” I tell her.
“It’s alright. It was a hard time for me. I’d just rather not talk about it.”
We both try to talk about safe subjects for the remainder of dinner. She loved her dinner just like I knew she would. I’m glad she has tomorrow o
ff. It looks like she’s been working too hard. Her hand seems to be feeling better too. It’s not too late, but I don’t want this date to end. We both seem to have a lot we can’t talk about and that’s been a little challenging, but I love spending time together.
“Did you want to get a drink at the bar?” I ask, hopeful.
“I really shouldn’t. I’m so exhausted from work and I have a lunch date with Willow tomorrow. I had a lovely time, though.”
“Spence and his girlfriend, Amanda, and I are going on a hike tomorrow. Did you want to come? We’re not going until three, and it’ll be a nice change not to be the third wheel with the two of them. You’ll love Amanda, she’s great.”
“I would love to, that sounds really nice.”
“Alright, then I’ll pick you up at two-thirty, and we’ll meet them there.”
I drive her back home and we find things to talk about that are safe. She has me a little curious though about her ex-boyfriend. How could someone hurt Amelia? She has to be one of the nicest people I know. She’s beautiful and kind, smart and funny too. I’m certain if she was my girlfriend, I’d never let her go or hurt her in any way. The fact that she refuses to talk about her previous relationship and the mention of it causes her to nervously twirl her hair. I can’t help but wonder what happened. I park and walk her back up to her door. She puts in the key and turns around to face me. Before I lose my nerve, I kiss her on the cheek.
“I had a wonderful time tonight. I’ll pick you up at two-thirty tomorrow. Sleep well, Amelia.”
“I had a really nice time too. I’ll see you tomorrow, Kyle.”
She places her hand on my cheek. It’s warm and soft. She has a guarded smile on her lips, then she turns and walks into her apartment.
Chapter 4
Amelia
I had the nicest time tonight on my date with Kyle. Aside from not being able to talk about his family, we found other things to talk about. I almost jumped out of my skin when he asked me about past relationships. I’m so not ready to talk about Roger with him. It’s actually what I want to talk to Willow about tomorrow over lunch. I haven’t told anyone about what happened with him.
The next morning I wake happy remembering my date with Kyle. I make myself an espresso, then walk out on the balcony in my bathrobe and sit in the morning sun. I love Sundays. There’s no rush to do anything, I can sit and just be still. It’s hard not to think about Roger, though. I don’t know if I’m really ready to dredge up the emotions connected to him. I thought I could bury them and never have to talk about them again. But I can plainly see they’re only standing in my way of having a chance at a new healthy relationship. I finish my espresso and head into the shower to get ready for lunch at Willow’s.
I grab the gift I bought for Abbey a few weeks ago and drive to Asher and Willow’s house. Pulling up in the driveway, I can tell the property has changed so much since Willow moved in. Asher had such a hard time after Olivia died. It seemed like everything around him died right along with her. Now the grounds are alive with flowers and warmth that I know comes from the love Asher and Willow share.
“Amelia, how are you?” Willow says, as she opens the front door before I’ve stepped one foot out of my car.
“I’m good, how are you and that baby?” I ask her.
“Everyone is doing well. Come on in, she’s sleeping right now, but you can take a peek at her.”
I hand her the gift and head straight to the nursery. Right away I see the painting of a white dove with a yellow rose in its mouth perched over Abbey’s crib. I know the meaning behind that dove and I love how they’ve incorporated Olivia’s life into their family. Abbey is just so perfect. I quietly close the door and head back into the family room to find Willow. She’s sitting on the couch with the gift opened and she’s just staring at it.
“Are you alright, Willow?” I ask with concern.
“Yes, sorry, I know it’s only been a few days, and Abbey is amazing, but getting up for feedings is just taking it out of me. Thank you for the blanket, it’s precious. Lunch is ready. I thought we’d eat outside on the patio. It’s a beautiful day.”
“That’s a wonderful idea. Where’s your mom and step-dad?” I ask, as we walk out to the patio.
“Asher took them out for lunch to give us some alone time. It was hard to pry my mother away from Abbey, but I made them all get out of here.”
We take our seats at a beautifully laid out table set for the two of us. There’s salads and bread already set out, with two tall glasses of lemonade.
“Did you do all this? When did you have the time to do this with a new baby?” I ask her, amazed at the preparation.
“I can’t take the credit. Asher did it all before he left with my parents. I barely got showered and dressed.”
I put the napkin in my lap, and I suddenly have second thoughts about telling her about Roger. Willow digs into her food while I just push the lettuce around the plate. I just can’t bring myself to tell her.
“OK, chickie, spill it. I can see there’s something on your mind. Just spit it out,” she says, as she drops her fork with a clang on her plate.
“Alright, this is extremely difficult for me to share. I’ve never told anyone, but I need to tell someone and get this off my chest,” I say, twisting the napkin in my lap.
“Amelia, you know you can tell me anything. What could be so terrible? You have me worried,” she says with concern.
“I wanted to talk about my ex-boyfriend,” I tell her.
I can’t look her in the eye, this is so embarrassing.
“Asher told me about someone you were dating. This was last year, right? Before Asher and I met.”
“Yes, his name is Roger. And what I’m about to tell you goes no further than you and I. You can’t tell Asher. I’d just die if anyone else knew.”
“Whatever you have to say to me goes no further than this table, I promise you,” she tells me seriously and picks up her fork to continue eating.
“I’m completely mortified to say this out loud, but here it goes. I’ve never had an orgasm by a man.”
She drops her fork on her plate, with a big clang again, and stares at me with her mouth hanging open.
“OK, that is not at all what I expected you were going to say. You’ve never had an orgasm?” she asks surprised.
“No, I didn’t say that. I’ve had orgasms. I can give myself one. I said a man has never given me one,” I clarify, completely mortified.
“You’re twenty-eight years old and a man has never given you an orgasm. But, you can have an orgasm. I don’t understand,” she says confused.
“Since the very first time I ever had sex with a man, not one of them has been able to give me an orgasm. It’s not from lack of trying. Oh, they’ve tried. I got tired of making a man feel bad, so I started to fake them. Roger caught on to what I was doing and called me on it. I think he took it personally and after a few months of not giving me a real orgasm, he said I was defective. He said never in his life has he never been able to give a woman an orgasm and that I was a freak. He called me a lot of things, actually. He told me no man would ever want me. We got into a huge fight about it and he broke up with me.”
“Wait a minute! Let me get this straight. He yelled at you because he failed to give you an orgasm. What an asshole, maybe it’s his fault. Maybe he’s the defective one. Amelia, you are not defective. Whatever that asshole said to you just isn’t true,” she says angrily.
“It isn’t his fault, that’s the thing. No man has ever been able to. That’s not all either. He still had a key to my apartment. The next day when I got home from work, he had taken red spray paint and wrote a bunch of nasty, incredibly demeaning things on my bedroom walls.”
“You’re joking, Amelia, why didn’t you ever tell anyone about any of this? Asher would have kicked his ass.”
“I was so embarrassed; I never told anyone. I repainted the walls that night and had the locks changed.”
“What did
he spray paint on your walls?” she asked with such anger I think maybe her eyeballs are going to pop out of her head.
“I would rather not say. I really just want to forget it all. Can you just forget about the spray paint and help me with the other problem.”
“OK, let’s break this down. You can have an orgasm, but not from a man. How many men are we talking about here?”
“Uh . . . four,” I tell her.
“You’ve slept with four men and none of them were able to bring you to orgasm?” she asks again.
“Right,” I answer.
I wish she wouldn’t keep repeating it.
“Alright, we’re about to get real personal here. Did any of those men go down on you?”
“Umm . . . No. The first time I was nineteen. I think it was his first time too. It was so quick I didn’t really know what I was supposed to expect. The other two were casual. I never slept with them again. By that time, I figured there was something wrong with me and I faked it. Then I started dating Roger. He was my first real steady boyfriend. I was still faking it, but he figured it out. He said he didn’t go down on a girl, he had some bad experience, and he just couldn’t bring himself to do that ever again,” I tell her honestly.
“You know, I was just reading an article in a magazine that said there are two different kinds of orgasms. A vaginal orgasm that comes from actual penetration and a clitoral orgasm that comes from oral sex or self-stimulation. Maybe that’s why you can give yourself one, but a man’s penis has never given you one. Maybe he really didn’t know what to do with his penis. I don’t know how much of the article I believe, but it sounds like it makes sense.”
Thinking about what Willow is saying, maybe there is hope for me. Then again, maybe not, I’m almost thirty and no man has ever given me an orgasm either vaginal or clitoral. It’s always been me and my battery operated friend. That just doesn’t sound normal to me.
“I can see you spinning some wheels in there. It’s obvious you’ve just never found the right guy. Have you ever talked to a doctor about this? I can give you some pointers on ways to achieve an orgasm.”
Running Into Love - The Complete Box Set Page 19
