Guilt swept through her. How terrible it must have been for him. She’d had trouble thinking past her own panic before. Now she just wanted to stay there forever, in his bed, in his arms.
Her gaze dropped from his face. She feared she’d see pain in his eyes and blurt something stupid. “I’m sorry about that.”
It was silent a moment, and she pretended there was something interesting on her fingernail.
“Why did you stay?” he whispered, as if he were afraid of the answer.
Moving to sit up against the headboard, she tiptoed around the truth. “I was worried about you.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because I care about you, obviously.”
“Care?”
She jerked her gaze up to look into his eyes. Was he pushing her on purpose? When she thought she’d find teasing, there was worry there instead. His jaw clenched tight as he studied her. Anxiety and pain were written on his face, as well as maybe a bit of hope. Did he want her to say it?
Swallowing hard, she dove in. “Yes. I care about you immensely.” Tears welled, but she blinked them back, staring at her hands.
Silence stretched.
She dared a glance at him. He frowned, then nodded slowly. It felt as if her heart were being sliced in two. She couldn’t bear to see him this way. Was he hoping she’d say more and she’d just let him down?
Fuck. Why wasn’t there an instruction book on this?
She sighed, frustrated. “Fine.”
He cocked his head. “Fine, what?”
“The timing is wrong, and I’m probably doing this wrong, but if you’re gonna force me, then . . . fine!” She glared. “I love you, Banner. And I’m sorry about what happened last night. I wish I could take that pain for you so you didn’t have to feel it. And I’m sorry for the last month with Ambrose. But I wouldn’t take that away, even if I could, because it made me realize how perfect you are for me. And I’m sorry the timing sucks for me to say I love you, but it’s true. Feel free to kick me out the door, but you brought me to this and . . .”
“Shhh.” He put a finger over her lips.
She froze, her eyes brimming with tears. He was going to reject her. Any second, he was going to tell her to leave. Her throat closed up, and she struggled to breathe.
“The timing doesn’t suck. The timing could never suck to tell someone you love them.”
Her tears spilled over, and Banner wiped them from her cheeks. Her lip trembled, but she tried to make her voice steady. “You . . . you love me, too, right?”
If he said no, she’d just die. Her heart seemed to stop beating as she waited for his answer. Maybe she’d misread him yesterday. Maybe she’d just made a complete fool of herself. Maybe—
“I adore you.” He smiled.
“Adore me? Like . . . like a sister or—”
“Absolutely not.” He pulled her tighter. “I hate to have to tell you this, but I have an awkward and intense affection for you.”
She giggled, then felt like a dork for giggling. “What does that even mean?”
“I’m in love with you, Kate.”
Her body froze, too afraid to move for fear she’d wake up and find this was all a dream. When he just stared at her, she finally croaked, “Why?”
He barked out a laugh. “Why? What kind of question is that? You can’t just go around asking people why they love you.”
“Sure I can. I just did.”
His adoring gaze when he rolled her onto her back surprised her. Sexy, demanding, dominating, silly, and now loving—this man kept her guessing, but she was enjoying learning the different facets of his personality.
He kissed her gently, trailing tickling fingers over her ribs and down to her waist. Kate shuddered, feeling an answering warmth gather between her legs.
“Mr. Jennings, are you trying to seduce me so you don’t have to answer my question?”
It was far too easy for him to pull her arms over her head, and then hold her wrists in one hand. He kissed her again, and she pressed against him, trying not to sigh like a lovesick schoolgirl.
“No, I was merely distracted by your beauty.”
She grinned, feeling giddy. When she looked at Banner, his expression was the same. She had never thought a Dom could be hot and lovesick at the same time.
He grimaced, then smiled. “I know you don’t want to do the twenty-four-seven slave thing, but we’ll find a way to be together. I can compromise. I don’t need perfection. The important thing is that I have you. We can work out the rest as we go.”
“I’ll be your slave,” she blurted.
He drew back. “What?”
“I decided it doesn’t really matter what you call us. Words . . .” She shook her head. “They only mean what you make them mean.”
“No, you don’t want that. I won’t force you into something you don’t want.”
“I do want it. I mean . . . I want what we’ve been doing. If that’s what you would call a Master/slave dynamic, then I guess . . . I guess that means I’m already your slave. I have been for months.” As a second thought, she met his eyes and added, “Your slave. Not just anyone’s. Only yours.”
A confused grin flashed for a second before it disappeared. “Are you sure? This isn’t something you pretend to be into to make someone happy.”
With a sigh, she switched to a kneeling position. “I’m absolutely sure. Don’t you want me, Master? I missed you so much this last month. I missed our conversations, your humor. I missed you calling me Trouble. I even missed your discipline.” No. It was more than that. “I craved your discipline. Most of all, I missed your collar. I missed feeling like I belonged to you.”
The damn tears started again. She hadn’t realized just how much she’d missed something that at first had seemed so degrading. Just one strip of leather. So simple and seemingly insignificant. But the last month had felt empty without it. And Ambrose’s . . . It just wasn’t the same.
It couldn’t have been the same, because she’d been Banner’s all along.
She watched the emotions flitting across his face. The feelings she had for him made her want to jump up and fling herself into his arms. Her body and heart had known him as her Master for ages, even when her mind had been too proud to admit it. It had been too scary to acknowledge that they had wanted the same things. She’d spent so long convinced they were on different pages, that seeing where their needs and desires intersected had been almost impossible. But as much as she’d hoped to make things work with Ambrose, it had proven again and again that her submission already belonged to his best friend.
Banner stared at her for long enough to give her a mini-panic-attack. Had she not proven it enough? Did he not believe her?
Finally, he shifted, then stood up. “Let me fix that.”
He opened the bedside table and drew out her collar. Had he kept it there the whole time? A moment later, he was over her, buckling the black leather into place around her neck. With it, came an overwhelming rush of love and devotion.
“You are mine, little slave.”
His.
He kissed her with all the love and longing she’d felt while they were apart. Months ago, he’d told her a submissive was a Dominant’s greatest treasure.
She’d never fully understood what he’d meant until now. Banner commanded her, protected her, treasured her.
In return, being his filled a well of longing inside her. She knew she could be strong and independent, but this connection—this deep and true bond—was what she chose. With his collar around her throat, and Banner kissing her tenderly, she knew she wasn’t losing herself at all. Instead, she was gaining him.
Epilogue
The Caribbean breeze swept through the open sliding door, making goose bumps rise on Kate’s wet skin.
“Take those off,” Banner ordered.
The only time she’d been allowed to wear clothing this week was bikini bottoms to the beach. It kept sand from reaching delicate places. But they were b
ack in the beach house now, and Banner was looking at her as a wolf eyes its prey. They’d been having sex several times a day, all week. How was he keeping up?
The private vacation was sorely needed after the two weeks they’d just had. A piece of machinery had exploded in one of Banner’s factories, causing mandatory overtime for many of the workers, including Banner. And if that weren’t enough, Kate’s client, Sean, had been discharged again and she’d been on pins and needles before walking into work every day, afraid to see him return. So far so good, though.
“You think you can go again, old man?” she teased.
His eyes narrowed. “Old man?”
Seductively, she slid off the polka-dot bottoms, then backed up a few steps as he stalked toward her. Before she could get far, he lunged and grabbed her arm. She squealed and tried to get away, but he landed three stinging smacks on her wet ass.
“Shower,” he barked, holding back a smile.
She was glad he had kept his sense of humor, even as their relationship deepened. The intensity of the Master/slave dynamic was broken up by goofy, giggly love.
“Yes, Sir,” she said with a salute.
Growling, he followed her to the bathroom. She could practically feel his gaze on her ass, so of course she swayed it seductively.
He groaned. “You’re killing me, Trouble.”
“It’s only fair. You almost killed me with orgasms earlier.”
With a chuckle, he started the shower. “You’re complaining? Women everywhere would love to die from orgasms on a private beach in Saint Thomas.”
“Don’t I know it! They ogle you when we go into town.”
“Men ogle you too. Why do you think I keep you locked up here as much as possible?”
He whipped off his bathing suit, and she licked her lips and gave an impish smile. Roughly, he grabbed a handful of hair and yanked her head back. “Don’t tempt me.”
“Noooo,” she whined. “I was kidding. My lips are still chapped.”
His expression was smug as he leaned forward and kissed her deeply, delving into her mouth, exploring and playing while she gasped and tried to keep up.
“Get in the shower before I fuck you right here,” he said when he pulled away. He smacked her ass again.
She gave him a saucy look. “Yes, Master.”
In the shower, she waited for him to follow, but he stayed outside the door. “You’re not coming in?”
He shook his head. “You first. I have something to talk to you about after.”
Her curiosity was piqued, and with it she felt a twinge of dread. Needing “to talk” often meant bad news. He’d wined and dined her, tied her up, fucked her, mastered her, had done all sorts of crazy, romantic things—what could they possibly need to talk about? Were things not going how he wanted?
She watched him walk away, then stepped into the water. When it hit her skin, she realized how sore she was. Though they’d spent time relaxing, reading while cuddled up together and making plans for the future, there had been a lot of action. And the bastard had a kink for keeping her tied in uncomfortable positions, pushing her limits, testing her tolerance for pain.
She hissed when the water hit the cane marks on her thighs. “Jerk,” she mumbled under her breath, wearing a secret smile. She loved it, but he already knew that.
After washing away the sand and salt from the beach, she turned off the shower. Banner was waiting there with a towel, and sadly, he was wearing a new pair of shorts. His gaze stayed on her face instead of looking her over appreciatively, as he normally did.
His lips tipped down somberly. Anxiety tied a knot in her belly. What was going on? Did something happen with Rook again? Or his mom? Things seemed so much better the last few months.
“Are you okay?” she asked, wrapping the towel around her torso.
He gave a firm nod, and then he motioned toward the bedroom. “Go get ready for me. I’ll be there in a sec.”
Curiosity filled her more and more with each step into the bedroom. They’d been having so much fun. She couldn’t remember a time when she’d felt happier, more loved, more cherished, and more full of hope and life. Banner was everything to her. Why did she feel like something bad was about to happen?
She tried not to let her worry show as she climbed onto the bed. When he said “get ready for me” he wanted her kneeling, hands behind her back, head down, knees apart. Despite feeling as if she might throw up, she got into position, making sure it was perfect for him. Had she been too bratty? He seemed to like her joking around at times. He even said it gave him a reason to punish her, which his sadistic side loved.
Heavy footsteps sounded on the hardwood floors, and she felt his presence in the room. She fought back the urge to lift her head to try to read his expression. She’d wait like the good girl he taught her to be.
He stopped in front of her. The heat from his body so close to hers warmed her down to her toes. He ran his fingertips from her shoulder, down her arm, then across her collarbone. She arched into his touch, loving the way it felt on that vulnerable part of her. His hand drifted to her throat and held her there softly.
She swallowed hard. When he held her throat, it always made her feel safe and protected. It was sexy because it was dangerous, but something about trusting him near her throat was deeply satisfying.
“Very nice,” he rumbled. “But you’re missing something. Where’s my collar?”
Crap. “I took it off.” He’d given her a day collar just before this trip. The simple chain was beautiful but especially so because of its meaning—the commitment and love it symbolized.
“Why?”
Was she in trouble? Was that what this was about? “I don’t like wearing it in the ocean. I’m scared it’s going to get ruined.”
There was silence for a moment, and she prepared for the worst.
“Why didn’t you put it back on after?”
She looked up at him, hoping he would see the honesty in her eyes. “I was going to but you told me to get into position.”
His face remained unreadable.
“I’m sorry, Master.” She ducked her head. “I didn’t mean to insult you. It’s not like I lost it or anything. It’s right on the—”
“Shh.” He put a finger over her lips, and she fought back the urge to suck it into her mouth. This didn’t feel like sexy time. Something was bothering him. “It’s okay,” he said. It sounded as though he was fiddling with something in a bag. Then the noise stopped. “Look at me.”
She did. He looked as if he was holding something behind his back. What was he hiding?
His forehead crinkled, and he stared down at the ground. “Kate, I . . .” He paused, seeming to be at a loss for words. “Fuck. I had this all planned out, and now I’m getting tongue-tied.”
Had what planned out? Giving her a gift? Was it a new collar? But why?
With a sigh, he lifted his gaze to her face. “You know I love you. But do you know how much?”
She nodded. “A lot. Just like I love you a lot.”
“More than a lot. I can’t even explain it.” He heaved a breath, then continued. “We’ve come such a long way. I thought I knew what I wanted in a slave. You weren’t what I pictured at all.”
“Heyyy,” she teased.
“I thought I wanted perfection, but what I needed was you.”
“But I am perfect, Master.” She gave him a mischevious smile, partly to cut the tension and make him relax.
“You are.” He looked at her, then, with so much love it made her cry. “You’re perfect for me.”
She swiped at tears that welled.
“I’ve already collared you. That’s a big commitment, and you know with you it means forever to me.”
Nodding, she wondered if this was leading toward something she’d been thinking about for a while. But she didn’t want to get her hopes up.
“Kate.” He sighed, then shifted his weight. “I want to be with you forever. Not only as your Master, but as your h
usband.”
He brought his hands forward and in his palm sat a small box. When he opened it, an antique diamond filigree ring sparkled in the sun from the skylight.
For a moment she was so dazzled she couldn’t speak.
“I’m asking you to marry me, Kate.” His voice broke. “Will you please marry me?”
She started to sob. Did he think for a minute she’d refuse? He wrapped his arms around her and held her as if she were the most precious person in his world. Her tears ran down his chest.
“You idiot!” she finally said, pulling back. “You had me so worried!”
“What?”
“I thought something was wrong! With your family . . . Or that I was in trouble or something.”
His eyes widened. “No. No, nothing like that. I was just nervous.” He ran his hand over his face. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you. But . . .”
She tried to control her emotions but only managed a ridiculous sort of crying laugh.
“You didn’t answer.”
Answer? “Oh!” She looked down at the ring. “Yes! Of course the answer is yes.”
Hands shaking, he took the ring out of the box. “It was my grandmother’s.”
She held out her hand, and he slipped it on her finger, feeling as though she were watching a scene from a movie. She’d never been the type to picture getting engaged—how a guy would propose—as her friends used to do. But now that it was happening, she couldn’t imagine it being any better, even naked, damp, and teary.
His eyes turned worried. “Do you like it? If not, we can pick something else. I won’t take it personally—”
“I love it.”
“Wait there.” He grinned and walked over to the dresser.
In the mirror across from the bed she caught a glimpse of how the ring looked. Even from a distance, it sparkled and somehow made her feel prettier than before. She couldn’t stop grinning. Her aunt and uncle would be so happy for her. They loved Banner as if he’d been in the family forever, and her uncle would be so proud to walk her down the aisle.
He came back holding her collar and tied it around her neck, looking smug.
“I can’t wait to tell everyone.” She stared at his handsome face and wondered how she’d gotten so lucky. If he hadn’t gotten an invite to that costume party, there was a chance they would never have met. “Janine has been pushing me to propose to you.”
Finding Master Right Page 26
