by K. S. Martin
Ethan closed the door quietly behind him. Kerry stared at it. What just happened? She was worried. He’d moved her out of his bedroom. He said that it would work out, so he wasn’t rejecting her, or was he? If he took her home and her father had to give the money back, he would kill her. Plain and simple, he would choke the life from her. Kerry swallowed hard and sat down on the edge of the bed. Her chest felt hollow.
***
Ethan paced the bedroom. The lights were off and the window clear. A glass of bourbon swung in his huge hand. His mate rejected him. His mate didn’t like sex with him. His mate felt like a prisoner. Maybe he wasn’t cut out for this, after all. Maybe he should cut her loose and go back to enforcing for the council.
Connor told him to “fuck off” earlier after he’d punched him. Maybe he should. His beta was angry, his mate in distress, and his mood sourer than it had ever been. He paced in long, predatory strides. Kerry was in the doorway suddenly, with handfuls of lacy and satin panties.
“I can’t take these. You have to take all of this back. Get your money back. It’s not right. It’s too much.” Tears streaked her cheeks again. His eyes went amber, and she backed away. “Please, it’s too much. They cost too much, I don’t deserve these or any of it.” She dropped them when he advanced, and went back to her room. He heard the lock click. As if that would keep him out. Ethan followed and pulled the pin from the top of the doorjamb. He pushed it into the hole in the doorknob and the lock sprang open.
She gasped and backed away from him when he filled the doorway. She looked terrified. Ethan stopped and leaned casually against the door. His goal was not to frighten her any more than he already had. He did not want to go back to enforcing. He wanted to be a pack Alpha, have a mate, and have pups. Kerry’s mother had said that Kerry wanted a house full of them and he knew she was the girl for him.
“We need to get some things straight.” He took a gulp of the whiskey in his hand, closing his eyes for a second, then opening them when he’d calmed. “I bought those things for my mate.”
She started to interrupt, but he put his hand up. “I want you to have them. You are my mate, even if we don’t see eye to eye yet. It isn’t too much. I can afford it, so don’t worry. I know that you have money issues, but please let me do things for you. I like doing things for you. The clothes stay, and I want you to enjoy them. Please don’t feel guilty for having them.” He took another sip. Its warmth filled his belly. “Sit. Please.”
She had backed herself into the corner of the room.
“Please?” He pointed at the bed, and she came to it slowly, watching him. Ethan sat next to her but not close enough to scare her. “We’re strangers, you and I. I should’ve taken all of this slower. I never wanted to scare you. I don’t want you to be afraid of me. I want you to like it here, to like me.”
She watched him and nibbled her lip. “I want to, but you’re a scary guy,” she said softly, and he grinned down at her.
“Tell you what, I promise we won’t have sex again until you want to, okay?”
She nodded.
“I won’t force you. I want you to enjoy it, I think you did enjoy it once or twice, didn’t you?”
“Yes.” She said softly.
“We can do those things that you liked again. When you’re ready.” He swirled the whiskey in the bottom of the glass.
“I had this idea for a long time when I was enforcing. I wanted something more. I wanted a family, roots, and a pack. I haven’t had one for many years. When I talked to your mom, she described someone that I wanted to get to know. Her words about you were so sweet and eloquent that I knew, before we even met, that you were it for me. So I am going to fix this. I don’t want you to feel like a prisoner, because you aren’t. I want you to like this and me. Tomorrow, I’ll show you around the hunting area, and I want to introduce your wolf to the pack. We’ll visit with Thelma, too, and get you on garden duty. Since you are going to live here, I’d like you to help with the cooking and cleaning. Can you cook?” She nodded. “You get to fix breakfast in the morning.” He cupped her knee and squeezed, he stood up. “Goodnight, Kerry. Busy day tomorrow.” He leaned down and kissed the top of her head. “I hope that’s okay.”
“It’s okay,” she said, looking up at him.
“Good.” The corners of his mouth lifted, but his eyes were sad. He left her alone, the door clicking closed quietly.
***
She wondered how she could fix this. She’d caused that sadness in his eyes. Kerry hadn’t wanted for him to move her into another room. She’d almost liked sleeping with him. Her wolf had relaxed and she slept better. He was warm, too, and she liked that, liked him being close while she slept. If he couldn’t have sex with her, maybe he didn’t want her close. “So I can fuck you when I want to.” She’d said no, that she didn’t like it. Of course he didn’t want her in his bed if he couldn’t have her. She didn’t need to be there. If he couldn’t have her, she was just in the way and taking up space.
Kerry lay awake in the dark, watching the shadows shift on the ceiling. Hours passed as she listened to the house. Listened to the sounds, cracking, popping, her mother used to say they were the sounds of the house settling. She wondered how her mother was and how she could find out. There was no phone at her house. She would have to call Luke, and she didn’t want to talk to him. Tomorrow, she would ask Ethan if they could visit. Maybe she shouldn’t. He would think the worst since she told him she wanted to go home earlier. Kerry bit down on her lip hard. She shouldn’t have said that. It hurt him. She’d hurt his feelings.
She got up and slipped from the room, making her way to the kitchen. There was milk in the fridge earlier, and she hadn’t finished her dinner. Her father would beat her for sneaking into the kitchen after supper, but Ethan wouldn’t mind. He’d said that he could afford it. It was strange not to worry about where the next bite would come from. It was stranger to come into the kitchen after dinner. A small shiver of joy raced over her skin, and she felt her nipples harden. It felt naughty. She grabbed a glass from the cupboard and padded to the fridge. The milk poured into the tall glass, and she licked her lips in anticipation.
After putting the gallon jug back on the shelf, she twisted the lid and stepped out of the way of the door. Startled by the huge bulking figure standing there when the door was clear, Kerry screamed and dropped the glass.
Ethan.
“Sorry. I…shit. I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were here. I heard a noise.” He seemed flustered. There was shattered glass everywhere. Ethan scooped her up and carried her to the safety of glass free floor. She mourned the loss of her milk and walked slowly from the kitchen. “Kerry, are you going to help me clean this up?” Ethan called after her, and she spun around, hurrying back to help. “Get shoes on first. I think there’s a pair of flip-flops just outside of the door there.” He pointed.
She opened the door and found a screened-in porch. Kerry turned on a light and stepped out. The floor was covered in bright green plastic grass that pricked her feet, but the sensation wasn’t unpleasant. There was a swing and a glider out there. She scented cigars, but it was very faint. She wondered who the flip-flops belonged to. They were old. They had worn green soles and the white insole was faded to gray. These could be bought in any drugstore for a couple of dollars. She’d spent many summers in shoes just like these. They couldn’t be Ethan’s because they were too small. His feet were bigger, much bigger. “What’s wrong?” He was in the doorway now.
“Nothing. I found them, but I was looking around, I didn’t know this was here. Can I sit out here and draw?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea until you get control of your wolf. Come.” He held his hand out, and she took it, following him. He had a paper towel roll in his hand and had started working on her mess by picking out the big pieces of glass.
“I can do it.” Kerry pulled off one paper towel and pulled the trash can over to where she would be working. He stood back and watched. She worked
with one paper towel, scooping glass and shaking it out, then wringing the towel out in the trash can. Ethan would’ve used all of them and cleaned it up quickly. By now, he would’ve been back in bed, but he let her do it her way. She expanded her circle until she was sure that she had all of the glass. She rinsed her towel and started wiping the floor. Ethan shook his head and yawned.
“You don’t have to wait,” she said on one of her trips to the sink.
“Goodnight, then,” he said quietly.
“’Night,” she said, not looking up. She listened to him go back to his bedroom and close the door. Kerry had ulterior motives. He was more patient than anyone she’d ever met, and she usually liked that, but not tonight. With the floor spotless, Kerry got another glass and filled it with milk. This time though, she sipped it and felt its cold path down her throat into her belly. It was heavenly. Turning off the kitchen light, Kerry stepped out into the screened-in porch again. She turned the light off and went to the swing. Giving it a push she watched the trees move gently in the breeze. They looked black against the dark sky. She heard doves cooing and the screech of an owl. She smiled against the glass as the air shifted and blew a tendril of hair against her cheek. She sipped the milk slowly, enjoying it.
Pushing the swing again, she heard Ethan coming down the hall. The door opened. “I thought you would go back to bed once you’d finished the floor.”
“I still wanted some milk.” She held the glass up for him to see. “It’s nice out here. Do you ever sit out here and listen to the night?” He shook his head. She patted the seat next to her. Ethan approached slowly and sat down on the swing next to her. He looked into her glass and saw that it was still half full.
“Want some?” She offered it to him.
Growling low in his chest, he took it and sipped, then handed it back. Her parents never shared food, but she’d seen other mates in her pack do it and the males always liked it. Maybe it would make him feel better about what she’d said. The guilt was twisting her insides uncomfortably because she hadn’t meant it entirely. Some of the things he’d done to her in bed were good. She pushed with her foot again and the swing swayed. The breeze caught her hair, and she shivered.
“Are you cold?” His head swung around and he studied her. She shook her head, but she had goose flesh on her arms. Ethan wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. “I’ll keep you warm.”
“Can I sleep with you?” she whispered. “My room is cold,” she lied.
“Of course, but I thought that you wanted your space.” She felt his eyes on her but kept her head down.
“I like to sleep with you. I feel safe and warm with you,” she admitted, afraid to look at him when she said it, afraid he’d say no, or that he’d mock her for what she’d said earlier. So far, he didn’t seem spiteful, and if they had to stay together, then sleeping apart wasn’t good for the relationship. She didn’t like the uncomfortable distance already and it had only been four hours. This must be resolved. She held her breath while she waited, and counted the seconds because it took him a while to answer.
“You’re more than welcome, and I’ll stick to my word. We won’t do anything that you don’t want to do.” He kissed her temple. Kerry gave the swing another push.
“There’s no door out here. I might be able to contain her.. The closest door is the front, right? I like to draw,” Kerry said. Taking that away was like taking air from her.
“You’re very good at it, too. I’d like to frame some of your work if you’ll let me.”
She nibbled her lip and furrowed her brow.
“I looked through your sketchbook. You have several beautiful sketches in there. Have you ever used chalk or charcoal?”
“No. I just have my pencil.”
He chuckled. “You need a new one. Yours is tiny, or do you prefer it that way?”
“No.”
“Okay. Would you like to try chalk and charcoal or watercolors, have you used them?”
She was quiet and sipped her milk.
“Then we have an errand to run after breakfast. Are you done with your milk?”
She upturned it and emptied the glass.
“Come on, it’s late. Let me keep you warm.”
Chapter 9
Kerry heard birds but was too comfortable to move, surrounded by warmth and cradled gently against a sleeping Ethan. She opened one eye and found that she was looking at large tanned pectoral muscles. This was a gorgeous wolf. He could’ve had anyone if her mother hadn’t interfered.
Mother was a very good saleswoman. She could talk anyone into anything given enough time. Anyone except Father. He didn’t “fall for her bullshit.” He’d said it often, but Kerry suspected that he privately respected that about her since he did not have that gift. People didn’t want to talk to him the way they did her. She drew them to her, and he chased them off. Kerry wasn’t sure who she took after, but she knew who she would pick and it wasn’t her namesake.
If Ethan had looked around for a minute though, he would have seen there were probably thousands of she-wolves out there that would’ve dropped to their knees at his feet. Ones that would like sex, ones that wanted pups, too, and ones that weren’t so much trouble. His hand stroked her back, and she raised her eyes up as far as she could without moving. “Are you ready to get up?” He was gazing back down at her.
“Yes,” she whispered. He untangled himself from her and rolled out of the bed. She watched the big muscles in his arms and back move. The cords of muscles writhed under his skin like thick jungle snakes. He could crush her if he wanted. As he walked toward the bathroom, she watched his naked backside. She knew it was all muscle, too. He wasn’t as frightening from the back, and he was very nice to look at from this angle.
“I’m going to grab a quick shower. You have breakfast duty, don’t forget.” He closed the bathroom door, and Kerry heard the water come on. She got up and straightened the bed, then went to the kitchen. She didn’t know how to work a coffee-maker, so if he wanted coffee, he would have to show her. Piling her arms with eggs, ham steaks, onions, and peppers she decided on omelets and grabbed the butter and went to the stove. She chopped and mixed, then poured it all into a big frying pan that she found. While that cooked, she toasted bread. Ethan came in, pulling on a T-shirt.
“Coffee?” he asked.
“Sorry, I don’t know how to work your machine.” Kerry looked at it. Coffee was a rarity at her house, but when they did have it, only her parents drank it. She wasn’t permitted. That was for them, and no one bothered to show her how to work the machine that her mother found at a flea market in the too good to throw away bin.
The sellers that spent the day out there were often people who didn’t want to be limited by a yard sale, and they didn’t want to take the stuff home either. Her mother would window-shop late in the day and wait for “opportunities,” as she called them. Her father called it dumpster diving. Either way, the pot that her mom grabbed was decent and looked almost new. On it was a sticker that read $10.00.
“That’s okay. Here, I’ll show you.” Ethan got the coffee from a tin in the corner, then asked her to fill the pot to the number eight on the side. He showed her where the filters were and how to load it, and then how to turn it on. “Grab the cream for me. It’s in the door of the fridge.”
Kerry hurried over and brought it back. Ethan was perched on a bar stool on the opposite side of the counter, watching her. She flipped the omelet. “You look good back there.” He winked. “You’ll have to do more cooking.”
“You better taste it first. You might not like my cooking.” Kerry cut the omelet and gave him the biggest part and took the rest for herself. He took a bite and chewed thoughtfully.
“Yup, you can keep cooking.” He grinned, then sipped his coffee. His cell buzzed in his pocket, and he answered it. “Ethan.” He kept eating and listened.
Kerry stood and picked at her omelet. She felt out of place here. This kitchen was so big and fancy. Luckily, t
he appliances were pretty much the same as her mother’s. These were just bigger and shinier. Kerry went for a glass of milk, unsure if she was allowed. Ethan was refilling his mug, and she decided that he liked coffee as much as she liked milk. She began cleaning up while he was still on the phone. Who could be this chatty this early in the morning?
Kerry wiped the counters and cleaned the dishes while he talked, placing the perishables back in the fridge. Ethan had showered already, saying they had errands. Kerry went down the hall, deciding to do the same.
She climbed in under the warm water and scrubbed her hair first because she hadn’t done it the last time. Using Ethan’s shower gel that smelled like rosemary and mint, she scrubbed her skin top to bottom.
When she turned to get out, Ethan was there. “I have to go out.” He handed her a towel. “Thelma is expecting you at her house as soon as you’re done. When I come back, I’m going to take you into town to get art supplies. Don’t wander off. Please.”
She gave him a sharp nod. What he meant was that Thelma was going to babysit her while he went and did what he needed to do.
“I won’t wander. I’ll stay with Thelma. I promise.”
His answering smile was soft, and he pulled her towel-wrapped body close and kissed her forehead.
“Thank you. I’ll be back soon.” He turned and left her alone.
Kerry listened to him walk away, then finished drying herself and her hair. She pulled it all up in a ponytail and went to find clothes. The new ones that he bought were too good to garden in, so she found a pair of jeans and a T-shirt in her duffle bag. She slid her feet into her new green flip-flops and went to find Thelma.
“I’m sorry about yesterday,” Kerry said when Thelma answered the door.
Thelma scoffed. “You don’t need to be sorry for Connor’s stupidity or Ethan’s insecurity. It’s not your place. Just chalk it up to testosterone,” she laughed and closed the door behind her. She took Kerry’s arm as she went down the stairs. “Those boys need to get a grip.”
