by Addison Jane
Even though at one time I thought my feelings were one sided and would never be shared, I knew now for sure that they were.
Chewing on my bottom lip, I continued to keep my eyes cast down scared to look up and meet his gaze, scared it would completely throw me off and steal every ounce of courage I was trying to piece together right now.
Inhaling through my nose, I placed both my hands up under his shirt. His warm skin greeted me as I continued to trail them upward, lifting his shirt. His waist was trim, but it wasn’t for lack of muscle. His abs were tense and tight, a trail of goosebumps appearing as I continued to explore, eager to mesmerize every part of his body.
I thought I had this, thought what I had was in control.
I thought I had the upper hand.
I didn’t.
When I finally looked up and met his eyes, he stole my breath. “You had your chance,” he murmured wrapping his hands around both my wrists. He turned me, moving me back toward the bed, stopping just short of its end. “Take your clothes off.” He released me and started walking backward toward the door.
I was a little confused, not really knowing what I should do. My confidence was flying out the window the instant Ham took control. He was suddenly so sharp, so intimidating, and it was fucking hot as hell. It was his ‘take no shit Ham’ that grabbed my attention.
They say first impressions are everything. I remember how strong he was, how he stood so tall, and even though he was outnumbered, he never wavered. Confidence, and dare I say swagger, were everything at that moment. But it was the sweetness, the thoughtful and fun loving Ham that held me captivated for so long.
I would make time for him later.
Because right now, I knew exactly which one I was getting.
The lock clicked, and he looked over his shoulder at me. “Meyah, you wanna keep the clothes you have on? You need to get them off you in about ten seconds before I get over there and ruin them… Ten.”
Oh shit. He wasn’t joking.
My shirt went first, and I tossed it over my shoulder. It was soon followed by my jeans, which took far too long, with the way I hopped on one leg and tugged them down over my foot. I began to realize this wasn’t what he was asking for.
My cheeks flushing red, I started to giggle. “This isn’t what you imagined is it?”
Looking up to find him leaning back against the door with his arms folded across his chest, grinning from ear to ear, he shook his head. “No, not exactly. But this was still pretty damn sexy.”
I swiped my hand over my face and shook my head. “I’m a mess,” I groaned finally kicking my jeans from my leg and sending them skidding across the floor.
He didn’t respond, but it was like I could hear the resounding ‘yes’ echo throughout the room. Surprisingly, he slipped his club cut off while I pondered my fastest escape. Next came his T-shirt which quickly followed the path of mine over into the corner.
His pants were already hanging damn fucking low on his hips, so low that the V on that body should almost be illegal.
“You’re a pretty hot mess,” he commented as he took a step forward, his eyes watching me playfully as if he couldn’t decide if I was going to run or just play along. When he finally got close enough, he reached out and wrapped his fingers around the back of my neck tugging me forward, my body colliding with his. “Take the rest off,” he whispered pulling my lips to less than an inch from his.
I could barely move, but I stared directly into his eyes as I hooked my fingers in my panties and wiggled them down to the floor before reaching behind me and unhooking my bra with just two fingers. It floated down, too, and suddenly I felt so damn exposed. Shifting nervously from foot to foot and fighting the urge to cover myself with my hands, I realized I wasn’t a little girl anymore.
I’d had sex—more than once.
And while it wasn’t exactly the experience I’d hoped for, I could already say it wasn’t anything like this.
Holy shit my body was burning like I’d been set alight, and he’d barely even touched me. My clit was throbbing to the beat of my heart, it was so ready. The air in the room was hot—at least I felt like it was.
One step forward from him, pushing me back but still holding my body pressed against his, my knees hit the bed. Ham silently dipped his head, his eyes connected with mine the entire time as he flicked his tongue across my nipple. My hips unconsciously moved on their own. The second time he made contact, I almost melted into a puddle on the floor. Then he moved to the other side, his tongue leaving a lazy trail between them.
I grabbed hold of him in a fight to keep my balance, my arm wrapped around his neck and my fingers in his hair holding him at my breast and fighting my quaking legs. A couple of crass licks and swipes here and there, and I was already ready to explode.
My breasts were my downfall. If he weren’t touching them, I’d be touching them. I don’t know what it was about my nipples, but Lord help me when he sucked one into his mouth, I almost climbed him like a damn tree urgently wanting him in me.
Holy crap.
I was that easy.
He took advantage of the situation and lifted me off the ground before lying my body back on the bed and bracing his body over mine. When his belt buckle brushed across my wet pussy, I wanted to scream at him, but all I could do was curse. “Shit. Shit. Shit,” I hissed, much to his amusement.
He tucked his face into my neck, pressing gentle kisses down over my shoulder and back up. “There’s still time to—”
“Shut up,” I snapped. “Please just take off your jeans, Ham. Please.”
He pulled back and smirked. “I got a couple of things to do first.” Then he was gone, a sexy trail of kisses leading down my neck and over the curve of my chest, then my stomach. The closer he got, the more I wiggled in anticipation. I could feel his breath on it, my pussy already soaked and waiting, ready to wrap my damn legs around his head and just…
“Oh. My. God.” With each word, I swear I felt electric blots fly through me. The tip of his tongue teasing my clit with one flick after another because he just swiped it right through, forcing me to gasp and lift my hips up off the bed.
“Just as fucking good as I imagined. Better actually,” he muttered to himself, wrapping his arms around my thighs and holding me right where he wanted me. His mouth sucking and licking driving me so mad I already knew the back of my hair was going to be matted from tossing and turning.
I couldn’t breathe.
“That feel good?” he asked, making me open my eyes. I looked down at him, my mouth hanging open as I tried to breathe. My throat was dry, and I had to swallow several times before I managed to answer.
“Feels so good,” I whispered knowing he might not even be able to hear me.
“Then you need to tell me,” he demanded. “You feel good… I want to hear it, Meyah.”
“I can’t—”
He swiped his tongue through my pussy again, and this time he pulled my clit into his mouth, sucking gently. My body started to shake.
“Hamlet!”
He wouldn’t give up. I felt like I was going to explode, but he continued to suck relentlessly like he was punishing me for arguing with him. But God, did this punishment feel like a reward. The tingle started at my pussy and spread so quickly electrifying my senses and making every little hair stand on end. I felt like I’d lost control. My heart was beating too fast. Gasping in surprise as wave after wave rolled over me, each one more powerful than the last and leaving me craving the next.
“Good girl,” he praised as he pulled away, standing to his feet at the end of the bed and looking down at me. “Most beautiful thing I’ve ever fucking seen.” His eyes roamed my body, alight and needy as he finally reached for his jeans. One pull of the buckle and a pop of a button, and they were dropping to the floor before being kicked to the side with a sharp clang.
I was still finding it hard to breathe, my body sweating and reeling, but the moment I saw what he’d been hiding in his
pants, my eyes grew wide, and my heart rate, which was beginning to slow, picked right back up.
He held it in his hand stroking it slowly up and down.
“Scoot over.”
I frowned, pulling my bottom lip between my teeth but shuffled to the side. My eyes didn’t move from it even as he lay down beside me and slipped on the condom that he’d just magicked up out of nowhere.
“Always prepared?” I teased, rolling onto my side to face him.
I tried not to think about how much more experienced Ham was than me. It was probably easier with high school boys knowing for the most part you’re either their first or at least top five. Ham had six years on me—not including what he probably got up to at high school.
Did I want to think about how many girls—no not girls, more likely women—he’d been within that time?
“Stop,” he demanded, reaching out and cupping my jaw in his hand. The jaw I hadn’t realized I’d been clenching so hard that my teeth now ached. “Stop thinking, just feel. It’s just us. We’re here. Nobody else should be in that pretty head except for me.”
He leaned in, capturing my lips, swallowing every little semblance of self doubt as he caressed my lips with his tongue before slipping it into my mouth.
I got lost in him.
His touch.
His smell.
The way he moved between gentle and rough.
I didn’t pay much attention to the fact he was pulling me over him, lifting my leg to straddle his waist. His cock instantly bumped my already sensitive clit, and I gasped into his mouth causing him to grin.
“This is your chance to take control. I want to know you, Meyah. I’m going to discover everything about you. What makes you hot. What sets you alight. How far you want to take this.”
“As far as it will go,” I answered straight away.
“Show me.”
I swallowed my nerves, taking his length in my hand and standing straight up, before rising on my knees and positioning myself over it. Taking a deep breath, I gently lowered down, the feeling of it filling me—stretching me—with my fists clenching on Ham’s chest.
I rose back up and then pressed down again, each time a little deeper, each time a little faster, building my rhythm.
His hands settled on my hips. He did little to try and control me, his fingers occasionally digging into my skin and letting me know he was feeling it. The way he watched me was intense, and at one moment he reached up, and when I thought he was going to grab my hair in his fist, he simply swept it back from my face before drawing my mouth forward to his pressing a gentle but powerful kiss to my lips.
Sometimes I got bossy alpha male Ham, sometimes I got sweet, tender Ham. I honestly didn’t care which one I got, they both lit my body on fire and made me feel like more than just another girl. Although, Ham has never made me feel like just another girl.
There’s that saying that once you find the right person, you’ll realize why it never worked with anyone else.
That was this moment.
Sex with Nick had been messy and clumsy and felt more like a chore that you’re obliged to do. There was no intimacy, no passion, or need to just be in each other’s arms.
Not like it was with Ham.
He rocked a little faster, lifting his feet and placing them on the bed, so he could raise his hips and meet me halfway, the power of his thrusts suddenly becoming harder and deeper, forcing a gasp from my lips on every single one.
We moved like one, each of us reading the other—when to speed up, when to slow down, by listening to the other person’s breathing and the noises they made. It was about giving just as much as getting. I wanted to give him what he needed just as much as he wanted to bring me to that place where I could feel alive.
My lips latched onto his neck, the climb to the top starting as a slow build.
People would say I’m young, that I don’t know my body, or that I’m not ready, but it didn’t matter because he did. I may not have been the most sexual being in the world, but with him, I’d grow. We’d grow together.
“Hold tight, baby,” he growled, his hands moving from my hips, his arms wrapping around my waist holding me securely and not allowing me to move. I braced my body over him, looking down at him, licking my lips as he drove inside me forcing me to throw my head back and moan loudly.
So much for letting me have control.
Thrust after thrust, more powerful, more intense. He slipped in and out so damn easily, my pussy wet and craving him.
I tried to draw in a breath, but just as I managed to find it, I started falling over that edge into the abyss. My whole body shook, and with one last hard thrust, he seated himself inside me, the pulsing of my orgasm pulling him so tightly.
“Damn Meyah…” he groaned loudly burying his face in my hair, his body twitching as he came and came. “Fucking, damn.”
I didn’t want to move, parts of my body numb, other parts feeling like they might go off again if we weren’t too careful. “I’m not getting up,” I murmured into the side of his neck. His pulse was pounding so hard, I could feel it against my cheek. I turned my head just slightly and pressed my lips to it.
“Good, ‘cause neither am I,” he replied, pushing his hips up again and laughing when I pinched his arm. After a quiet pause, he added, “You think your uncle is waiting outside the door ready to shoot me?”
I giggled quietly under my breath. “No. I don’t think he’d want to hear that,” I prodded. “He’d probably at least wait until you got downstairs.”
“In that case, round two?”
I can’t even begin to explain how it felt to finally have her in my arms, her hair tickling at my chest, and her fingers lightly tracing the outline of my tattoos.
“Why did you decide to get these done?” she asked softly, outlining the angel that stood proudly on my arm. “I remember you always having one or two, but it seems like all of a sudden, you have a whole sleeve.”
I nodded. “I guess it was kinda like that,” I admitted. “When I got my club patch tattooed, it made me feel different like I’d finally found that place where I actually fit in. I found a new family. But it also reminded me that there were two other people out there who were my blood, and I hadn’t done enough to watch out for them.”
She lifted her head up off my chest looking down at me in surprise. Meyah wasn’t just beautiful, she was intelligent and funny, and had a sweetness to her that made my chest ache.
Before, I was attracted to her because I wanted to protect her. I wanted to be able to hold her close and keep the demons away from this perfect, pure being that I never imagined would want anything to do with me. Hearing she had clocked that little motherfucker in the face and broke his fucking nose, it was like I was suddenly seeing something inside her I hadn’t before, and the fight to stay away crumbled to little tiny pieces.
“Where’s the rest of your family?” she asked, resting her chin on the center of my chest. I tried to ignore the way her naked breasts pressed against me and the way my hand was still resting on the perfect curve of her ass.
With my free hand, I brushed away the loose, crazy strands of hair from her face sparking a shy smile to form on her lips. “My parents were killed by a drunk driver when I was in my senior year of high school.” Her smile instantly fell, turning into a subtle grimace, like she could literally feel the pain in my words.
“I’m sorry,” she murmured before pressing her lips to my chest and letting her forehead rest there for a moment. It surprised me the way in which she already knew me. How one simple gesture gave me all the comfort I needed.
“Nothing to be sorry about,” I reassured her, hooking my finger under her chin and lifting her eyes to mine. The color was warm and reminded me of hot chocolate, a soothing color that I felt right down to my soul. It made me want to hold her a little closer, feel her warm body against mine, and refuse to ever let her leave. Figuring this was as best time as any since we were already in that place, I decided t
o tell her what she didn’t want to hear. “You need to go and talk to your mom.”
She sat straight back, and I instantly wanted to reach for her, but instead, I let her have her space. “Ham…” she stalled, trying to look away. I took her chin and turned her back to face me, noting the way her top lip curled just slightly in annoyance.
“No. Look at me, and listen,” I ordered, waiting almost a minute before she finally took me seriously and allowed her eyes to meet mine. She wanted to snap back not liking my demanding tone and showing me how much she was coming into herself—a strong, independent woman. I almost wished she fucking would because I was starting to find the attitude kind of a fucking turn on. Instead, I forced myself to focus. “I lost my mom and dad when I was eighteen. I’ll never see them again. Never be able to call them to ask them how their day was or what their opinion is on the girl I’m falling in love with.”
Meyah’s cheeks flushed, the cute pastel pink color a contrast against the dark strands of hair falling across the front of her face. She still didn’t speak. Though, I could tell she wanted to. She felt like she needed to argue, to tell me things were different, but they weren’t.
“You don’t have to justify to me what you did or why you walked out on her,” I assured her before she started babbling. “I fucking get it. She hurt you. She kept that information from you and still is. You feel like something’s missing, and it’s hard to understand how she could keep something so important… not just why she kept it, why she lied about it.”
“Do you think I’m being dramatic?” she asked, sitting back on my thighs and pulling the bedsheet across the front of her body.
“Hell no,” I disagreed. “I don’t think you’re being dramatic. I think you’re hurt, and I think your mom needs to know she did something wrong. But here’s my question for you. What’s the last thing you said to her?”
Meyah stilled, her hands twisted in the black sheet, her brow creasing nervously. “Why?”
I placed my hands on her hips needing her to listen and really hear what I was saying. “If something happened to her right now, would you be okay with the last thing you said to her? Would you live with regrets for the rest of your life because you were angry?” I squeezed her hips making sure her eyes were focused directly on me. “There isn’t a damn second that goes by where I don’t think about how I complained about my mom cutting my lunch wrong before storming out to school, or the way I didn’t have time to run back inside and say goodbye to my dad. I missed that, Meyah. Are you gonna miss that, too?”
