by Jenn Nixon
“I’ve seen.”
“What’s it like inside his mind?”
Sanjeeta tilted her head to side. “Divine disorder.”
“I…totally get that. A Conduit…you, can unwind all of it for him. Give him moments of peace when he needs them most,” Lexa said, scrubbing the side of her face. “I’m nowhere near his level and I rely on Bates constantly. He’s…my everything. I try to image what it’s like for Caelum, but I really, honestly can’t. It terrifies me.”
“Then throw in the way he makes me feel—”
Lexa made an explosion sound with her mouth and puffed out her hands.
Sanjeeta blushed and nodded. “And we’ve only kissed.”
“For Bates and I, everything mixes together, gets very intense, to the point we sometimes shake our entire cabin, one of the reasons we live in the woods,” Lexa said slowly, closing one eye and wincing. “But, I promise, totally worth it.”
Sanjeeta took a breath and asked the most important question, aware it was getting closer to dinnertime. “Should I tell him, Lexa?”
“I can actually argue both sides.”
“If you were in my shoes would you?”
“Yeah, I think so.” Lexa nodded and placed the collector back in the drawer and shutting it. Sanjeeta smirked. “So, I overheard you like ninja movies?”
“They are so my jam, are you a fan?”
“Love them to pieces. The Bollywood movies I grew up on are great and all, but there’s only so much dancing and almost kissing I can take.”
Lexa chuckled. “We’re all movie junkies. Not sure why we don’t have a movie night. We should totally do that. Liam and Hinta would love that. Good looking out, Sandee.”
“It’ll help Caelum, too, he cares about this team very much.”
“He’s family,” Lexa said, shrugging.
Although she was anxious to see him, she needed some time to rethink everything through once more, like she promised, considering everything she learned. When she glanced over to Lexa, she was grinning again.
“Need a lift home?”
“I’d appreciate that. Thanks, Lexa.”
“Anytime.” She winked.
Sanjeeta blinked and was standing in her living room. Plopping onto her couch, she set her head on the back and shut her eyes.
Quicker than a breath, everything replayed in her head. Each overpowering and magnificent moment of her time with him and each word she learned from the collector and Bates. Yes, she made her decision, freely informed and whole-heartedly.
Even though her stomach growled, she ignored her hunger pangs, took a quick shower, and dressed in a sari inspired crop top and her best hip hugging jeans. She added a touch of mascara and powder, probably never needing tint for her cheeks again, and spiked her hair a bit in the front.
Ready to knock the Enhancer’s socks off, she went into her living room, shut her eyes, relaxed, and tried to touch his mind. Caelum?
I am here, Sanjeeta.
Something was wrong, she knew instantly. I can’t…sense you.
I am far, very far away.
Why?
I’m doing what I must to keep the team safe.
The hair on the back of her neck sizzled. What the hell does that mean?
The truth behind the experiments, Gardner, Project Phoenix, and Marjorie must be revealed. I can uncover them all given time. I’ll continue calculating the potential results of past actions and current choices and future possibilities and narrow down the logical path the team will take. I must fight my promise not to use Dina’s mind to see my death. Another session is required. Every time I attempt to help her, I see more and it…frightens me. Where are you, Sanjeeta?
I’m home. She furrowed her brow. His thoughts were all over the place. Will you show me the ship?
Soon.
Caelum, I need to see you. Sanjeeta’s heart flipped when a spectacular room covered in breathtaking golden symbols and lettering, materialized around her. The smaller door to her left opened. He ducked through the opening and stretched to his full height once inside.
You are a goddess. Caelum’s blue eyes locked on her as he circled around her, narrowing his gaze. Did you dress for me?
“Ego? This is new,” she said aloud, placing a hand on her hip.
“Everything is within me. I warned you.”
“And I think you’re thinking too much. The team has a plan, you wanted to be active, right? Work with them, don’t…predict their moves like a chess master.”
Caelum tilted his head, his eyes reverting to silver.
Sanjeeta sensed him instantly, his mind, the slight vibration of his body, and even the superficial emotions guarding the rest. He was in a state unlike any she’d felt. Electrified hysteria. She needed to reel him in, tell him what she knew, and see his reaction. Their first true test. I’ve viewed the collector data.
The Enhancer locked away his emotions and turned toward the door, motioning for her to go through. Did you learn all you need?
Yes. She eyed him sideways, unsure of what he was holding back now, and stepped into a hallway with three options.
“The engine room and main control room is ahead, quarters and galley, medical area to the left, storage to the right. What do you wish to see, Sanjeeta?”
“Somewhere comfortable to talk would be a great start.” His shirt brushed her sleeve as he entered the hall. Sanjeeta reached out and captured his wrist. Caelum trembled and shut his eyes. “You don’t have to link with me, just…stop fighting me. We only have to talk.”
He nodded and led her to one of the rooms at the end of a longer hall, which she could only describe as a man cave. An old school high-def TV hung on the wall above a lonely dresser with a single decent bed tucked in the corner, a nightstand/mini fridge on the side.
“Is this where you watch your movies?”
“Mostly, yes,” he said, still occupied by his profound mind. She lifted her hand to his cheek. Caelum flinched, and then stared down at her, his breathing slowing. “I forget how your touch makes me feel.”
“You get lost, sometimes.”
He leaned into her palm. “Yes.”
“Think too much, feel too much.”
“Yes.”
“When we touch and you link with me, I can share that burden,” Sanjeeta whispered, cupping the other side of his face. His fears rose to the top. She didn’t know what they were about, but felt their strength.
“Have you considered—”
“Everything. Have you, Caelum? Do you understand the ultimate task of a Conduit, when you become lost, when you think too much, feel too much, and neglect your burden?”
“Yes, I understand.”
“But that’s not what you fear.”
“Your control over me is more welcome than you know, Sanjeeta. I crave it. It’s one of my deepest desires.”
“Then what? What sent you away into your thoughts?”
“Her words are coursing through my mind like radioactive shockwaves,” he said between grit teeth. “You can make it all quiet, if you do and I miss my chance to save this team, my own existence may be forfeit.”
“What do you mean?”
“Dina includes me in those dead from the incident which we believe happens before the end of next year. Her words to Lexa claim my energy wore off a year ago from her perspective which is roughly forty years.”
Sanjeeta stared, his focus was returning, but she didn’t like what he was saying. “And you’ve thought of a thousand possibilities.”
“At least.”
“What do you think happens?”
“I can know,” he growled, breaking from her hold as his eyes sparked and shoulders tensed. “Simply peer into her mind and see the incident.”
“And what if you trying to stop what you see causes your death?”
“Then there is no need for me to have a Conduit.”
Unsure her voice would work she brushed his mind. So you don’t want me to be your Conduit?
/> “I would never subject you to that…sorrow,” he said, turning away and hanging his head. “For a Conduit to lose their Enhancer…it is a fate worse than dying.”
Despite his words, regardless of the fear, she knew, and she wasn’t letting him change that boundless mind of his away from the one thing he needed most in the universe. The tremors in her fingers slowed as she rested her hand on his shoulder. They inhaled, exhaled, and sighed together.
Although the link formed, the Enhancer kept his emotions guarded, instead the vastness of his mind spilled through and floated away faster than the last time, cocooning them in their own private realm.
He shuddered. Do you remember what I said?
I am not your undoing, Caelum. When I touch you and arouse you, I share that, too. Everything you feel, I feel. You said you desired me.
Yes.
Sanjeeta wanted him more than she ever thought possible. If she left this ship without acting on those feelings, they may never have another chance to see if she could be both. Sanjeeta needed to know. Show me.
Chapter Twenty-One
Caelum absorbed the heat from her hand and the words from her mind, spreading it to every atom of his corporeal form. He opened the mental gates, allowing his reality to flood the link, making them both quake. The quieter his mind became, the more Sanjeeta shook.
When she wheezed, he spun and caught her by the waist with one hand, her wrist with the other. His natural sight kept her beauty from him so he reverted to blue. Her bright eyes and dark cheeks indicated a deep arousal, hardening him without another touch.
As everything slipped away, Caelum tugged her to him, releasing her wrist to inch her chin up, marveling at how quiet it seemed to be already. His fingertips moved to the small of her back, eliciting a sensual gasp from her perfect mouth.
Oh, God.
Only once, and not exactly my fault.
Sanjeeta chuckled nervously as her hand fell to his chest. He brushed his mouth on hers. She shivered. Caelum stroked his thumb over her cheekbone and eased her closer until their lips touched. The slow, sensual kiss unchained a terrifying surge of emotions he’d long forgotten. Dark, ancient needs buried by his burden. Sanjeeta moaned and slid her tongue against his, wrapped her arms around his neck, and pushed him into the wall. The potency of his cravings blasted his cells, shocking his muscles.
She noticed and leaned back to meet his eyes. Lifting her hand to his mouth, she traced his lips and trembled. It’s muted now, but I still feel you through the link…is that all because of me?
Yes.
Why are you scared?
My focus is singular. My desires run deep.
I want to fulfill them. Her hands slid down his chest, catching the hem of his shirt and pushing it up. He pulled it off, tossing it aside. Sanjeeta’s long, warm fingers teased his stomach, vibrating his skin, and stopping at his waist. As she unbuttoned and unzip his jeans, he simultaneously drew her closer to kiss her, walked her back toward the bed, and removed her top with a thought. After her legs hit the bed, she shoved the jeans down his hip allowing him to step out of them.
Caelum ran his hand up her ribcage, purposefully slow, and traced the side of her breast with his thumb, making her moan against his lips. He didn’t want to stop kissing her or touching her or feeling her splendid reactions to his fingers and mouth and body. Sanjeeta guided his hands lower. She broke from the kiss, panting as she stared into his eyes.
I sense you in my mind, hear you in my thoughts, I want all of you inside me, Caelum.
His whole body pulsed. The silver ring appeared around her eyes. He didn’t want her to bond with him now and alter what they were experiencing and quickly drew her back to his mouth. While he removed the last piece of clothing between them, Sanjeeta wrapped her arms around his neck, heating his flesh.
Caelum lifted her from the floor. She curled her strong, thick legs around his hips trapping his erection between their bodies. Her trembles turned to sharp shudders. He sat back on the bed, collected her face between his hands. Is it too much? I can ease—
Don’t you dare. She smashed her mouth to his and pushed him back on the bed as she maneuvered to her knees to straddle him. After his head hit the mattress, she lifted her lips and body away giving him a moment to admire her perfect curves and skin and breasts and mouth and the most beautiful eyes in creation. She placed his hands on her waist. He moved them higher. Sanjeeta moaned and slid her hips down. All of you.
Caelum cupped her breast as she invited him into her body. Inch by inch, shudder by shudder, they merged in an enigmatic union of body and spirit. She was not his Conduit; he was her Enhancer. When he moved, her head dropped and she clutched his wrist. His free hand went to her hip to guide her as she bounced faster creating the most wondrous noises he’d ever heard, revealing Caelum’s true needs, and freeing him to explore everything she stirred within him.
In an instant, she was beneath him, panting against his ear while going still, and realizing they switched positions. She touched his mouth again. He didn’t understand why such a small gesture aroused him so, but he enjoyed the jolt striking his groin and made sure he shared the sensation and eased his weight against her, somehow delving deeper, and then retreating and pressing in again until she clawed his back and moaned. Then she whispered, “Faster.”
Caelum eagerly complied, noticing the changes in her body as her flesh heated beneath him. Sanjeeta hooked her feet under his calves keeping him flush to her and pushed down to meet his increasing speed, stretching and tensing and quaking around him. She trailed her tongue along his earlobe and captured it between her teeth, groaning as her body arched into him.
He doubled his efforts, found her mouth, and arrested it, as his hands explored every inch of her skin he had access to, surging toward the precipice.
Sanjeeta cried out, vibrating from within, and clutched his body as her muscles locked in place. Caelum, don’t stop…
Grunting was the only response he managed as he returned to her body faster and harder, sensing the vibrations rising, making her tighter, tempting his control. Her eyes rolled and she tilted her head back, whimpering in such a manner Caelum knew the next stroke would unhinge her. I’ll set you free, little star.
Sanjeeta screamed as the orgasm slashed wildly through her body. She began moving again, setting a quick, hard pace, he willingly matched until her mouth collided with his. The climatic detonation rammed through him, filling each cell with a pure bliss beyond comprehension. He didn’t know such pleasure was real.
Aftershocks rocked his body as she shuddered and panted against his neck, the warmth of her body easily keeping him hard and ready to take her again. She lifted her eyes and smiled, beginning the cycle again in a mad rush.
When she wilted against his chest the second time, Caelum wrapped an arm around her back as the other collected her hand.
She glanced up. He dipped down to kiss her again. No words were required. In a way, he sensed her now. The unique, exhilarating energy surging between them was all he needed to understand how she felt toward him. Exactly as he did for her.
How long will it stay quiet, Caelum?
I’m unsure. This is already much longer than I can remember in many, many years.
Have you changed your mind? She met his eyes, they shimmered with silver, but the ring didn’t appear. He was grateful and curious. Being with Sanjeeta without the Conduit bond was unique regardless; he’d never had a connection like this before. If she truly wanted to bond, and their intimate encounters changed in the future, they at least had this experience.
“I want you as my Conduit.”
“Then why did you stop me? I heard the word, I…tried to embrace it or something, you distracted me,” she said softly, concern flashing her eyes.
“You should make that decision with a clear mind, not during a heightened state of arousal.”
“It was much more than that, Caelum.” She smiled, her cheeks darkening as her skin heated again.
/> “Yes, it was,” he replied, grinning and brushing his hand along her cheek. “I want both, Sanjeeta, for however long you’ll allow me.”
“See, that was the perfect answer,” she said, shutting her eyes and leaning into his touch. “If I’m your Conduit, you’ll always find me, right?”
“Eternally.”
“Then it’s settled…when my mind is clear—”
“Shh, no more talking,” Caelum said, kissing her forehead. “Let us relish this moment for I wish to remember it with perfect clarity.”
“I’m sure it’s something I’ll never forget,” she replied and tucked her head under his chin as her hands brushed back and forth against his chest. Then she yawned. “I know you won’t sleep, but will you stay?”
Caelum shut his eyes, knowing the rest would do him good and curious how long the quiet would last if he remained at her side. “Yes, Sanjeeta, I’ll stay.”
***
No one showed up to the base after lunch. Although he wasn’t surprised given everyone was still working on their assigned tasks, Liam knew the reasoning went much deeper. Theo and Caelum’s theory about the class mingling and strengthening psionic abilities had infiltrated the entire group, Dina included. She mentioned it during lunch as a way of making sure both of them took more shifts in the shuttle and fieldwork in the future.
Each time the word crossed her lips she’d wince, frown, or sigh. Caelum’s warning blared through his head constantly. Was he strong enough? Could he willingly let his lifemate go insane simply to stop the horrific future she’d seen?
The hub beeped. Dina, curious for news as much as he, glanced back. Liam checked the screen to see Hinta and Theo’s message.
“Cameras are set up, want to check the visibility?” Liam said without glancing up and initiated Aime to conduct a constant recording of the new feed from the West Virginia apartment complex.
“Looks good,” she answered a few minutes later. “It’s seven forty-five? No wonder I’m hungry, again. Anything else needs doing or can we call it a day?”
“I have a few more things to finish up.”
