He grabbed my bottom, hard, squeezing his fingers into my flesh and pushing me upward at the same time. Grinding himself against me, he kissed me with such force, I stopped breathing. When he finally broke off the kiss, I gasped like a woman who’d been drowning, my eyes still closed.
He shook me gently. “Mia, are you all right?”
“Oh, don’t stop,” I begged.
Still squeezing my backside with one hand, Drew wiggled a finger into one side of my panties. It parted my flesh and slid across the wet, sensitive area that had been crying out for attention. A thrill shivered through my body. When he pressed a finger inside me, I moaned and nearly jumped out of his clutches.
Releasing his hold on me, Drew made eye contact and his savage stare sent a quiver through to all my nerve endings. Without a word, he lifted me off my feet, knelt, and laid me on the floor. Silently, I thanked his sister for the plush area rug, which was to serve as my mattress.
“You won’t be needing these,” Drew murmured as he reached for my panties. I was amazed to see him put his fists around the thin strings on each side, tear them apart, and toss them away carelessly.
He paused and looked down at me, while I lay there waiting in his open pajama top and nothing else. As his eyes traveled the entire length of me, I felt as though I was a buffet and Drew was deciding where to start.
Then, he was on me, devouring me like a starving man. The frantic biting and sucking on my neck, breasts and stomach was like being eaten alive, and I wished his hot mouth could consume me completely.
Each time his teeth grazed my flesh, I jerked involuntarily as a shock of magnificent pain flashed through me.
“Oh!” I cried out every time. It seemed to be the only syllable left after Drew’s startling stimulations.
When he moved downward and his tongue slithered between my thighs, the sensations were too intense. My body tensed, then convulsed under him.
I heard myself let out one last, long “Ooohhh,” as I writhed and shuddered and ground myself into him.
I had barely recovered from my climax as Drew thrust himself into me all at once. I wrapped my arms around him, caressing every part of him I could reach. When I opened my eyes, I saw him watching my face as he slid slowly in and out of me. Then, he stopped.
As usual, I didn’t like waiting and tried to force the issue by using my hands to hold him tightly to me while I pushed my hips upward.
I knew I’d had some effect on him by his sudden sharp intake of air, but he recovered immediately, reached back, and captured my wrists in each of his hands.
But, instead of placing them next to me, as I expected, he pulled them as far above my head as he could and pinned both wrists to the floor with one hand.
I’d never felt so vulnerable. I was completely at his mercy and he was driving me crazy with desire. I needed more of him.
A frustrated whimper escaped my throat. I gave him a pleading look.
When I saw the expression of lust and determination on his face, I knew he would show me no mercy this time. He squeezed my breast and drove into me rapidly several times. My eyes fell closed and I moaned with the intense pleasure. Then he stopped again.
I forced my eyelids open. “Please…” I murmured, desperately needing him to move inside me. He smiled at me, but his eyes held a wicked gleam. Fresh heat crept through me under his depraved stare.
He bent his head, and his mouth closed on the base of my neck.
The intense sucking that followed in one particular spot on my tender flesh was an agonizing mixture of pleasure and pain that traveled all the way down to where he rested inside me.
I now knew what it was like to be taken by a vampire. Drew had become the creature in his self-portrait and I was its willing victim.
When he had satisfied himself at my neck, he suddenly released my wrists and began plunging into me again. This time, the tension began deep inside, where he had so thoroughly invaded me.
I dragged my fingernails violently from his shoulders to his thighs and back again.
He groaned in response, then thrust into me harder and faster, punishing me into a hot, sweaty climax with him.
~
I lay on the floor with Drew for long while, completely exhausted. I was amazed by this complicated man lying next to me. I thought of how his love-making reflected the different sides of his personality.
He could be painstakingly gentle, passionate, rough, controlling, protective, separately or simultaneously. Lying there with my hand resting comfortably on my husband, I felt a sense of intimacy I had never known with another human being.
Drew finally felt safe enough with me…with us…to let loose the impulses he’d been so afraid of for so long. I was the person who’d made him feel that safe, and I knew it was because of my love for him. And his love for me.
Everything I’d imagined in my future had involved pretense and distance from people, but instead, I’d found someone who appreciated every bit of who I was, without the lies and regardless of my achievements or failings.
For some reason, I remembered the cows I had seen at the Chesney’s farm, and was sure that, finally, I understood what it meant to be content.
Other emotions came and went with daily occurrences and moods, but I was certain now, contentment was the knowledge that you were exactly where you were supposed to be. Even if we had simply sat on the couch watching movies all night, there was no party in the world more inviting to me than a night alone with Drew.
When I had regained my strength, I lifted my hand from his shoulder and ran my index finger down the side of his face. He opened his eyes, took my hand and gave it a tender kiss.
I couldn’t resist commenting on what had happened. “So you were still holding out on me.”
He didn’t reply. He just kept staring at me.
“What are you thinking?” I finally asked.
“I’m wondering how you can be more beautiful now than you were the first day you came through my door.”
My heart squeezed.
“I wonder how you could be the same guy who wouldn’t even shake my hand when we first met.”
He smiled and raised his eyebrows mischievously. “I guess I’m shaking a lot more than that now.” He propped himself up on one elbow. “It looks great!” he said enthusiastically as he caressed the base of my neck with one finger.
“Did you really give me a hickey?”
“Not just any hickey,” he answered unabashedly. “I branded you. It’s in the shape of a ‘D.’”
“You’ve got to be kidding! People can’t make them into whatever shape they want.”
“Apparently, I can.”
When I looked doubtfully at him, he glanced around, and grabbed my purse from next to the couch, where I often dropped it as I came in.
“Don’t you have a mirror in there?”
I took a compact from my handbag and opened it, adjusting the mirror until I could see the small dark spot on my neck. Instead of having a round or irregular shape, it had a straight side and a rounded side—like a capital “D.”
I shook my head. “I don’t believe it! I think you’ve invented a new kind of artistry. Maybe you could open a place next to the tattoo parlor where people could come, and you could suck whatever shape they request onto their bodies.”
“Or, I could have a booth next to the face painters at the carnival. I could do all the usual stuff—butterflies, unicorns, smiley faces…”
I laughed and buried my head in his shoulder. “You’re a psycho.”
“Mia like crazy,” Drew answered confidently.
After several minutes of silence, he was peering into my soul again. “Mia, can you tell me the complete and honest truth about something?”
My stomach lurched. Was this the moment I’d have to reveal the secrets I was keeping? “Um…okay.”
“Were you really never afraid of me, even when you first found out I was a convicted rapist?”
“No,” I answered honestly.<
br />
“Why not?”
“Because I could never see it. My head understood what the facts were supposed to be, but my gut—or maybe my heart—wouldn’t buy it,” I said. “Sometimes, I did worry I was deluding myself about you because I was in love with you, but I was never afraid of you.”
“That’s, like…a miracle,” he said.
“Maybe Josh Samuels is some kind of matchmaking angel.”
“Yeah, right. What did you say to him when he asked you out, anyway?”
“Well, I think I said, ‘I’m not interested in getting involved in a relationship right now.’ That’s what I usually said to men.”
“And then, you flew over here and married me!” Drew pointed out with glee. “Does he know?”
“I don’t think so.”
The mischievous twinkle was back in Drew’s eyes. “Let’s call him right now and tell him.”
“You’re a horrible, cruel man and I’m shocked that a nice girl like me agreed to marry you.” I reached behind him and smacked him on the bottom.
“You’re shocked?” He snaked his arms around me and rolled me over on top of him.
Just then, I became aware of the television a few feet away. I heard the countdown begin, “Ten, nine, eight, seven…” When it reached “one,” I gazed into his eyes and said, “Happy New Year, Drew.” Then I leaned down, laced my fingers through his, and gave him a slow, deep kiss.
Chapter Twenty
I awoke in bed the next morning, unable to remember how I got there. Drew was already up and making breakfast, so I showered and dressed. When I was ready, I went into the kitchen to see if I could help. Drew let me boil the water for my tea.
Once we were seated at the table, I asked, “How did I get to bed last night?”
“You were out like a light, so I carried you. I might need a chiropractor appointment,” he teased. “You must have sapped all my strength last night because you seemed a lot heavier than I remembered.”
Although I knew I had only gained four or five pounds since he had picked me up last—mostly from his cooking—his teasing reminded me I was going to keep getting heavier, and I’d better at least start confessing my secrets today.
While he was in the kitchen cleaning up, the phone rang. “Mia, I just got a call from Alex,” Meridith said as soon as I answered.
My heart stopped. “What did she say?” I dropped down onto the couch.
Meridith couldn’t contain her excitement. “She said they found several irregularities in the evidence that would have provided reasonable doubt at the time. Since they have DNA testing available now, Alex rushed it through and it ruled Drew out. She said, since you’re a lawyer, you know this doesn’t mean it’s a done deal, but there’s more than an excellent chance now that a judge will—”
“Yeah,” I said. “I know what it means.” I felt like a load was lifted off my shoulders. “Thank you, Meri.”
I was still sitting on the couch when Drew came back into the room. When I saw him, I popped up, unable to contain my excitement.
“I’ve got great news for you…for us,” I announced.
“What is it?”
“Well, the other day I talked to the new D.A.—”
Drew’s face grew instantly angry. “About me?”
“Yes. I wanted to see if your case could be reopened, since you’re inno—”
“You told the D.A. my personal business?” He started his agitated pacing. I hadn’t seen him do that in months. “My wife went begging to some D.A. and told him the personal stuff she got from my shrink?”
“Actually, the D.A. is a ‘she,’ now,” I corrected him, stalling for time.
“Oh, well it’s okay then!” He threw his hands up in the air.
Determined to get through to him, I cleared my throat and kept my voice steady. “She agreed to look into it and—”
He raked one hand through his hair, then the other. “Did I ever tell you I wanted the case re-opened?” He didn’t wait for an answer. “You’re trying to change who I am. You said you loved me no matter what, but not if I’m a convicted rapist, even if it’s not true.”
“Drew,” I spoke calmly hoping it would rub off. “You’re not making any sense. I’m not trying to change who you are. You’re not the person everyone thinks you are.”
“And what everyone thinks is all that’s important to you, huh, Mia? That’s why you lie to people about who you are.” He paced toward me and stopped directly in front of me. “If the D.A. wouldn’t listen, were you going to take your three million and leave?”
I couldn’t believe he meant it, but he looked completely serious.
“Drew, what are you saying? You can’t still believe that. You know—”
“I know that you went behind my back…” He pointed at me accusingly, reminding me of that awful night he’d seen me with Lance. “And told people about me!”
“You’re not Jack Larson’s son anymore!” I cried. “You don’t need to be Satan.”
“You don’t have the right to decide that! I let you know things no one else knew and you betrayed me!”
He had a point. I shouldn’t have gone behind his back with such sensitive information, but I was thinking of our future. I wondered if I should tell him about the baby. Maybe he would understand, but this wasn’t how I wanted to give him the news, in the middle of a tirade.
I decided to try logic one last time. “The D.A. says there’s a good chance the verdict will be thrown out. Why in the world would you want to be a notorious rapist, if you don’t have to…if it’s not true?”
“Because it’s who I am!” he said, with complete conviction. “It’s all I have!”
It was like a physical blow. His words echoed off the living room walls. I stared at him, in his black silk, long-sleeved T-shirt and one of the thirty-plus pairs of black pants from his closet, and realized nothing we had shared had made any difference in the way he saw himself or his life.
As far as Drew was concerned, he was the same deranged, demented, misfit he’d always thought he was. He still needed to be feared and loathed—or he needed his crazy dead father’s approval. Either way, he couldn’t see a brighter future. He was still without dreams.
I thought about the baby inside me, a baby I loved already because it was his. Yet, the people he loved weren’t as important to him as living in his dark past seemed to be.
Tears streamed down my face. Drew had grown silent and still, obviously realizing the awful mistake he’d made. He opened his mouth, but was slow to find the words to erase such an appalling declaration.
I turned away from him and searched the room through blurry eyes for my purse. I picked it up and started for the door.
“Mia!” he called after me in a desperate tone. “You can’t leave today. The six-month meeting is tomorrow.”
That’s all he’ll do to try to get me to stay with him? Talk about money? I’d been deluding myself, thinking our love had actually changed him.
I whirled around. “Oh, don’t worry. I’ll be at the meeting. We’ll put on a good show, and we’ll collect our money, and then I never want to see you again.”
I forced myself to turn away from his bereft expression and ran up to my room. I quickly grabbed a few items, including a suit, some shoes and my makeup bag. Then, I headed back down the stairs as quickly as possible.
As I passed him in a mad dash, I avoided his eyes, but I heard my name murmured tenderly, as he often said it when we made love.
“Mia…”
The sound caused me to slow, hoping the warmth of it would wash over me as it had every night for the past few weeks.
But I couldn’t let myself stay. I had to get away from Drew. He was right from the beginning. I was in way over my head.
I made it out the door and into the elevator. He hadn’t even come after me. I dissolved into hysterical sobs.
Downstairs, I used a payphone to call a cab, and it came within a few minutes. After considering going back to my old h
otel, I decided against it. I needed to be somewhere where Drew couldn’t find me. I needed to think things through. . . and I needed a Mia Medina Plan.
~
I was up most of the night in my hotel room.
At first, I asked myself if I was over-reacting because of my pregnancy. As I soaked one tissue after another, I wrote down all the problems I foresaw in starting a family with Drew. I wept even harder when I thought about how everything we’d been through together had made no difference in his priorities or his thoughts about the future.
But I knew I had changed. Six months ago, I’d had myself convinced all I cared about were my accomplishments and financial security. Then, I’d met Drew and Meridith and the kids and began feeling for the first time since I could remember.
The connection I’d had with them had made it worth the effort to bore through Drew’s angry, crazy shell and find the sensitive, artistic heart that had nearly been crushed in his childhood. How could he act like our time together didn’t mean anything?
But when the chips were down, that’s what he’d done.
When I couldn’t stand to cry anymore, I tried to put my mind on practical matters. Estimating how much money I had in my savings and retirement accounts from my previous job, I decided it should tide me over until I got the money from the Vaughn Estate or another job. If I was going to try to get on with another firm, though, I needed to act quickly, before my pregnancy started showing.
Several times during the evening, I almost picked up the phone to call Meridith, but knew she would try to talk me into going back to her brother. When I thought about the fact that I would lose my only female friend, along with my husband, I broke down again.
Then there were Ben and Molly, my baby’s cousins. How could I ensure a relationship with them without running into Drew all the time?
It was too much to decide in one night. I had to get some sleep.
I tucked myself into my lonely hotel bed and closed my eyes. When I dozed off in the wee hours of the morning, I dreamed of Drew serving me breakfast, gazing tenderly at me, and whispering my name. Then, suddenly, he was screaming at me and waving his bloody hands around. I awoke exhausted at seven-thirty and wondered if I would be cursed with Drew dreams forever.
Mia Like Crazy Page 21
