by Rula Sinara
Anna patted her on the knee.
“Personally, I think you’re amazing, and any man you fall for had better be worth it. Don’t get mad at me. I’m just saying my piece because I noticed the way the twins looked at you and vice versa. Get some sleep.”
She got up and disappeared down the hall. Pippa put her head on the pillow and pulled the throw over her shoulder. An instant mother. Could she handle it? Did she want to? Dax was right. Anything between them was impossible anyway, so why waste time wondering? She had goals. A school to build. And he would be leaving. Their lives were too different. If they were meant to be, one of them would have to decide the other was worth dropping everything for. One of them would have to leave behind life as they knew it. There were too many uncertainties, but if there was one thing Pippa was sure of, it was that neither one of them would be willing to sacrifice it all.
* * *
THE WHIR OF Mac’s helicopter approaching the following day caught Pippa off guard. She had become engrossed in showing the girls how to take photos, teaching them about lighting and composition. But at the sound of the helicopter, her stomach knotted. Had Haki and Dax gotten along on the trip over? What would Dax think of Busara? Why did she need to keep reminding herself that he was coming here only because she’d dragged his daughters over. This had nothing to do with seeing her or her family, although she’d been anticipating seeing him all day.
“Is Daddy on that?”
“Sure is. Come on.” Pippa led them out toward the edge of the camp and they watched as Mac land his chopper in the clearing he always used just up the dirt road...far enough away not to churn up dust in the camp’s courtyard area or disturb the baby elephants. She and the girls waited by where the Busara-marked vehicles were parked. Pippa watched as Haki helped Maddie out and they started over toward Pippa. Dax emerged next and held a hand out to help Tessa down. They waited for Mac to join them before catching up to Maddie and Haki.
“Hey, come give me a hug,” Dax said when he approached the girls, holding out his arms. The twins ran to him, and Pippa managed to stop herself from following. She knew he was talking to his daughters, not her, but despite her mother’s warning, she wished he was welcoming her with open arms, too. He kissed the girls on the tops of their heads, then made eye contact with Pippa. The corner of his mouth lifted. “Hi.”
“Hi.”
“Hey, Pip.” Haki waved as he strolled right past Dax and stopped in front of the twins. Maddie was by his side. “These must be your daughters,” he said, glancing back at Dax with a smile.
“Yes. Ivy and Fern,” Dax said. Pippa could hear the pride in his voice.
“Nice to meet you, Ivy and Fern.” Haki held out his hand to shake theirs.
“You’re as pretty as your dad said you were on our flight over,” Maddie said.
The twins blushed.
“Thank you,” they said.
Pippa’s stomach pinched like it always did whenever Haki and Maddie came around. She tried not to show it. She had her pride. They looked so happy together. Besides, if they hadn’t followed their hearts, she would have ended up marrying before she was truly ready. She hadn’t been, in retrospect, and now she was grateful that Haki had seen that. She’d been devastated at the time, but now she understood that everything had happened for a reason. She wouldn’t have stopped Adia from being forced to marry. She wouldn’t have accomplished so much with her teaching. She wouldn’t have met Dax, Ivy and Fern. But maybe her mom was right. Maybe she still wasn’t ready for a long-term commitment. At twenty-four, was she prepared to start one with a single dad? Instant motherhood had never been on her to-do list. She had plenty of kids out there who were relying on her as it was. But the twins relied on her, too, and she felt...like a mother to them.
She smiled at Haki and Maddie.
“Hey, guys. It’s good to see you,” Pippa said, giving them both hugs. “How’s the PhD going? And the law practice?”
Haki had gone back to the city for a doctorate in veterinary science, and Maddie, who’d been practicing humanitarian law in the United States, now worked for the office branch in Nairobi. Eventually, the two planned to build their own place and clinic in a remote area not too far from Busara.
“Everything is great. Actually, better than great. We have some unexpected news, and we’d actually like you to be the first to hear it,” Maddie said.
“Have you gotten the land you wanted to build a home and vet clinic on, yet?” Haki had had a location on a hill he’d been dreaming about building on for years now. As a vet, he wanted to provide medical care to the Maasai for their herds.
“No, that’s not it,” Haki said.
“You’re going to be an aunt,” Maddie blurted. “I’m eight weeks along.”
“Oh my God! That’s incredible!” Pippa hugged her and then Haki. “I’m going to be an auntie.” An aunt. Not a mother.
She was truly overjoyed for them. But she had just barely begun learning to cope with the fact that they were married. Maddie was now carrying Haki’s child.
Mac walked up with his wife, Tessa, on his arm. They looked at each other, and Tessa nodded.
“Well, then,” Mac said. “Not to steal the moment, but if we’re celebrating starting families, we might as well do it all at once.”
Everyone’s mouth opened in shock. Even Pippa’s and Haki’s parents had walked up to meet Dax and greet the rest but stopped in their tracks. Tessa had been battling early miscarriages since they’d gotten married around seventeen years ago. They’d given up. And now she was in her forties and pregnant?
“I know what you’re all thinking,” Tessa said. “I’m not pregnant. We decided to adopt. Actually, we started the process some time ago and weren’t sure it was ever going to happen. But we just found out that by next week, we’ll be the parents of a three-year-old boy.”
There was a slurry of tears and congratulations to both Tessa and Maddie. Everyone also apologized to Dax and the twins for leaving them standing there, but they didn’t seem to mind. Dax kept glancing over at her. Her mother and Niara kept glancing between the two of them. Pippa put all she had into keeping a neutral face. So much was happening. Why had she thought that bringing Dax and the girls here would be a good idea?
“I hope you’re all hungry,” Niara said. “The food is ready.”
The entire group started for the house. They squeezed around the long, rough hewn wood table that sat in the open-concept dining room. They’d added a small extendable table to the end to accommodate everyone. Dax looked out of the large wall window that overlooked the valley and river beyond Busara.
“So, this is home for you. That’s one amazing view,” he said.
“Busara is a special place,” Pippa said.
“We made a deal to do some poop scooping,” Fern reminded Pippa.
“Good luck with that.” Huru adjusted the cap on his head.
“Why would you remind them?” Noah asked.
“I think you and Noah should supervise,” Pippa’s father, Jack, said. “Take them to meet the keepers and make sure they have good technique.”
“How much technique could be involved?” Ivy asked.
“It’s all in the wrist,” Jack said. Jack had sampled many a pile of dung as part of his genetic research.
“He’s messing with you,” Pippa said. “Stop it, Dad. Noah and Huru, please take them to the pens. I’m not holding you two to the cleaning, but go have some fun petting and maybe helping with bottle-feeding.”
“We’ll clean, too. But we’re totally bottle-feeding,” Fern said.
Huru and Noah took them over to the elephant stalls.
Pippa excused herself from the group and walked after them. She watched until the girls reached the stalls, then turned at the sound of the screen door opening and closing. Dax stood on the porch.
“They’re going to be
preoccupied for at least the next hour or two. I need some fresh air. I’m going for a ride. Coming?”
“You’re taking off with everyone here?” Dax asked.
“I just want a break.” She couldn’t take any more all-eyes-on-her...especially from her parents. “Trust me, the twins couldn’t be any safer with my family. If you don’t want me to show you the area, you don’t have to go,” Pippa said, grabbing her camera. “I’m heading out for a while whether you come or not.” She really needed some space.
Dax glanced back toward the girls and then at the jeep. It wasn’t leaving the girls here that worried him. It was being alone with Pippa. He didn’t trust himself, or whatever it was about her that he couldn’t get out of his system. And she clearly had been hurt before. Plus, his days here in Kenya were numbered. Getting any closer to Pippa wouldn’t be fair to her. He’d only end up hurting her, too.
But something about her sudden desire to flee told Dax that she shouldn’t be alone right now.
“Let’s go, then,” he said. “We’ll be back before dark, right?” Camping under the stars with the twins was one thing. Being alone all night with Pippa would be an entirely different situation.
“Dax. We’re not going that far, and we’ll be home well before nightfall.”
He followed her to her jeep and didn’t say much as they headed past the landing area for Mac’s chopper. She suddenly veered left off the dirt road, torturing whatever was left of her shock absorbers, then floored the jeep through a clearing, slowing down only when the tall grasses masked whatever lay ahead.
“Boy. Is that always how you vent?”
She pressed her lips together.
“I told you I needed air.”
“I do want to make it back alive. The whole fatherhood thing. Remember?”
“You were perfectly safe,” she said, pulling up a few meters from a giant granite outcropping and pulling to a stop. She slumped back and sighed. “I know that stretch and just about every pebble and blade of grass around here like the freckles on my nose.”
His attention shifted to her nose, and her cheeks flushed.
“Um. Follow me. There’s a great view up ahead.”
She slung her camera over her shoulder, then opened a locked compartment at the back of the jeep and pulled out a rifle and left behind what looked like a tranquilizer gun and a case. She had guns? A part of him could understand why, but the other part felt uneasy.
“Have you used that thing around the twins?”
“No, I keep them locked up securely in here. I follow all safety precautions, and I’m trained in their use. I don’t want to kill anything. I carry them just in case I run into trouble. I’m out between places alone. I make the long drive between here and the lodge to watch the twins. We’re surrounded by dangerous wildlife, if you haven’t noticed. We also have even more dangerous poachers to contend with at times.”
“I get it. I just wasn’t expecting it.”
“Because you tend to put blinders on. Focus too hard and you miss what’s around you.”
He knew she meant his daughters and life in general, not her, but he found his gaze lingering on her wild curls. She waved her hand to draw his attention away from her and pointed to a herd of gazelle grazing peacefully in the distance. A family of giraffes rose above them, moving gracefully through the grasses toward a grove of trees. Pippa leaned her rifle against a nearby boulder and took out her camera to capture the scene.
It was truly breathtaking. The sun hung low enough in the sky to singe it with burnt orange, crimson and fiery reds. A row of acacia trees stood like charcoal silhouettes framed by the outstretched necks of giraffes to either side. The juxtaposition of a beautiful woman, shooting her camera—capturing the wildlife—with a gun resting impotently in the background was more than perfect. The way the late sun lifted the red highlights and flecks of gold in her wild curls made him want to capture her, too. He wanted to hold her. Touch her hair.
She lowered her camera and looked at him as if she sensed his thoughts. She gave him a shy smile and scratched the bridge of her nose.
“There’s another great view if we pass those trees. You’ll see Mount Kilimanjaro in the distance.”
“Great.” Geologic landmarks were supposed to be his thing, but right now all he cared about was Pippa. He marched after her, trying to keep his head on straight. He really needed to get it together. He was playing with fire. Only he wasn’t playing. He hadn’t felt this intensely about anyone in years.
She slowed her pace so they were side by side. Maybe that meant she sensed it, too. He needed a sign from her. A signal. Even a slap across the face, if that’s how she felt about him.
They passed through the tree grove, ducking under one branch and avoiding the thorns of another.
“Don’t walk under that one.” Pippa grabbed his hand and urged him to the right. “Sausage tree. Kigelia. Those sausage-shaped fruits weigh as much as ten kilos. You don’t want one dropping on your head.”
Maybe it would knock some sense into him.
He looked up as they maneuvered around the tree. Some of those dangling fruits were over three feet long. He ran a quick calculation. Ten kilos was a little over twenty pounds. That would hurt.
She let go of him and adjusted the strap on her shoulder as they cleared the trees. The savanna beyond them was dappled with boulders and acacia trees. As promised, Mount Kilimanjaro rose in the far distance, its snowcap glistening with the same golden hues that shimmered across the dry grassland. She stopped to capture the scene with her camera.
“The lighting is so stunning.” She spun around and took several photos of him. He ducked his head and peered at her.
“I’m not a good subject.”
“That’s up to the photographer, isn’t it?” She took another, and he shook his head and chuckled.
“No, really.”
“Okay, fine. But trust me. You’re photogenic. And you should have photos of yourself to give Ivy and Fern.”
To give his daughters. In case he ever passed away, like their mother. He scratched the back of his neck. She didn’t mean it that way. He knew that.
“I can even take a few more family portraits for you before...you leave,” she added.
There. She’d said it. A good reminder for him. They’d eventually head back to the United States, and her life was here. Then why did the energy between them feel impossible to ignore?
“That’s probably a good idea. Especially since I don’t know if we’ll ever get the chance to return here.”
Was she planning to keep one of those pictures she took of him? He didn’t need one of her. He’d never forget her face.
She put the cap on her camera and headed for the nearest boulder.
“Speaking of work, Pippa, I meant to ask you yesterday, when we were walking near the lodge, did you feel the ground shake?”
She turned and grinned.
“Is that a seismology pickup line? Because that is so bad.” She shook her head and took a few backward steps in the direction of the rock.
“What? No. I meant for real.” A laugh—probably embarrassment—escaped him. He scratched his jaw and mustered up a little courage. “You want seismologist-to-geologist pickup lines?” he teased. Man, his face felt warm. “Pippa, you must be a ten on the Richter scale because you’ve rocked my world.”
“Oh, that was even worse!” She laughed and pushed her hair back.
“I haven’t said anything about it yet because I needed the courage to be a bit boulder.”
“Stop cracking me up.”
Now he couldn’t stop laughing. She smiled over her shoulder at him and almost stumbled on a small branch. He reached out to steady her.
“Don’t Krakatoa,” he said. She nearly burst. Only someone who knew their volcanoes would get that reference.
“This is ter
rible. You’re killing me.” She tried to catch her breath and hiccupped.
“I’m feeling something shift between us,” he said as he stepped closer.
Her laugh mellowed into a softer chuckle. She leaned against the rock and looked into his eyes.
“Would you ever take me for granite?” she asked, trying to make light of whatever was happening between them. It was a good one, but neither of them was laughing anymore.
“The thing is, I really can’t stop thinking about you, but I know none of it makes sense and it can’t work, so I feel like I’m stuck between a rock and—”
“You.”
“Me,” he whispered as he rested his forehead against hers and pressed his hands against the cold rock to either side of her. He was all out of jokes.
“I’m going to kiss you,” he said.
“I know.” Her chest rose and fell rapidly. Her hair smelled of mangoes and coconut and jasmine.
“Tell me now if you don’t want me to. Say no and I’ll walk away.”
She didn’t say a word. He shifted closer and held her face in his hands. She put her palms against his chest, then slid them around his neck. They stared at each other, barely brushing their lips once, then twice.
His head swirled and everything around them—the scenery, the danger...time—it all disappeared. She met him halfway, drawing him in. She tasted like fresh berries and mint tea on a hot afternoon. She held him tighter, running her fingers through his hair. He put his hands behind her and pulled her around so his back would be against the hard rock. He didn’t want her to be hurt. He wanted to give her control. He wanted more than he deserved. He wanted her to know that this was more than a kiss. He loved her. He tore his lips from hers.
He loved her.
It hit him out of nowhere. He stared at her. They both struggled to catch their breath, and then they kissed again with both a desperation and a fear of it ending.
He finally pressed his head to hers, then kissed her hair and let her rest her cheek against his chest.
“We should probably get back,” he said, running his fingers up and down her spine. It was getting dark. The girls would be worried. He could feel her nodding against his chest, but she rested there a few seconds longer before straightening. She kept her eyes on the ground. He lifted her chin with his fingers and made her look at him.
