by Risk, Mona
Roxanne secured Liana against her hip and picked up the toys bag.
“Wawa.” Celia screamed and fidgeted to free herself.
“The ocean is too big for you,” Madelyn patiently explained to her daughters.
Liana giggled. “Wawa beee-g.” The little sweetheart opened her arms wide, and her twin immediately imitated her.
They went up to the pool and sat their bags on the patio table. “The girls are covered with sand. I’ll give them a shower before entering the pool.” Madelyn washed them one after the other, sprayed them with sun lotion, and put a hat on each little head.
Roxanne shed her wrap, glad she could still fit into her bikini. She helped settle the girls in their floating ducks. “Now we can all swim in the wawa.” The girls squealed and giggled. “They’re so adorable.”
“Celia is afraid of nothing,” Madelyn said with a smile that belied her complaint. “While Liana is the little princess who wants to be cuddled. I missed them so much when we were away. Yet we were so busy.”
“A honeymoon in Russia is unusual. Did you have fun?”
“A lot. It was freezing cold, especially for us coming from Florida. But incredibly interesting. So many things to see. For Nick it was a special trip to see the country where his biological mother was born. It brought us even closer together as he shared his deepest feelings.”
Madelyn’s eyes sparkled with the bliss of a happy woman who fully appreciated a loving bond with her husband.
A pang of envy stabbed Roxanne’s heart. Would she ever enjoy such a wonderful relationship?
“How is it going with Greg?” Madelyn added as if she’d read Roxanne’s thoughts.
A slow smile stretched Roxanne’s mouth. “Great. We had dinner together every night. He’s such a good friend.”
“Every night?” Madelyn frowned. “But I heard he’s been on call a lot to cover for Nick.”
“On these nights, I joined him at the hospital cafeteria.”
“I see.” Madelyn’s lips twitched. “And he’s just a good friend?”
“Oh yeah. A great friend. We talk a lot. Mainly I ponder my problems and vent my doubts. I have a difficult decision to make.”
To give him credit, Greg just listened to her rambling about why she absolutely had to go to Baghdad, and two minutes later, why she absolutely shouldn’t go. Without interfering, he squeezed her hand and promised that one day, the right decision would pop into her head.
Nothing had popped so far.
Madelyn bobbed her head from right to left. “Poor Greg. What are you doing to him, Roxy? Trying to make him earn his angel’s wings?”
“Come on, Maddy. I enjoy being with him and he said he loves spending time with me.”
“Of course, he does. Although I bet he’d rather be talking about something more cheerful than your dead boyfriend and your duty to his family.”
“How can you say that?” A huff escaped her. Even Madelyn didn’t realize what Roxanne was going through. “Can’t you understand my problem?”
“Sorry, sweetie. I’m just commiserating with Greg. But I’m listening if you want to brainstorm.”
“For weeks, I debated non-stop about what I should do and I weighed the pros and cons a hundred times a day. Then I remembered that while I was chatting with Nabil during our numerous friendly conversations he often mentioned he couldn’t wait for the war to end, so he could immigrate to the U.S. He wanted to forget the horror of the past years and live a peaceful life. My big news took him completely by surprise. He wasn’t thinking rationally when he said he wanted his son to be born in his country.”
“And maybe he expected you to marry him, live there with him and have his child, with him next to you. But now, he’s gone and circumstances have changed.”
“Anyway, I would never endanger my child. He will be born here, in our safe environment.” She rubbed her naked belly as if to reassure her child that he was the most significant person in the world for her.
“I agree with you.” Madelyn pulled her girls’ ducks against her in a protective hug.
“Now, the second decision I haven’t made yet is whether to tell the Diabs they’ll have a grandson soon or keep my mouth shut to protect Nabil’s good name.” She stroked her forehead in an effort to forestall a migraine, and floated on her back, soaking up the radiant sunshine.
“Learning about a prospective grandchild after losing two sons should be a big consolation for any family,” Madelyn suggested. “At least for any American family.”
Roxanne dipped her head in the water and emerged to answer her sister. “They have a different mentality. Pre-marital relationships are a no-no over there. Elias Diab may become very upset at his son’s misbehavior. I can’t let that happen. I’ll have to think more carefully before telling them they will have a grandson.”
“Roxy, you keep talking about a grandson. Why are you so sure it’s a boy?” Madelyn lifted an eyebrow. “Maybe it’s a cute little girl. Like my darlings.” She brushed each chubby cheek with a tender kiss.
“Nabil wanted a boy so much, I’d feel I’d be betraying him if I talked of the baby in the feminine.” Regrets dried her throat every time she talked about him. She swirled in the water, averting her eyes from her sister’s sharp gaze. Why did she have to argue with him on that cursed day? Why did he have to be so despotic? Guilt and remorse simmered in her heart.
“Honey, I know you’re still mourning a good friend and you’re sorry for his family. But don’t feel so obligated to them. You have to start living your own life again.”
“Eventually I will. When I fix this mess. If you have good friends who are suffering would you throw them away or would you help them?”
“Uh... If you put that way... Of course, I’d do my best to help.”
“Exactly. Nabil’s sister, Leila, emails me several times a day. I’ve become her best friend, her only moral support. Today, she sent pictures of Michael, her nephew. He’s so cute that little orphan. Mr. Diab’s heart condition has worsened. They can’t operate under the terrible conditions, the shortage of equipment and medical drugs. Mrs. Diab asked if I could send them medicines. How?” She opened her hands in desperation.
Liana cried and Celia followed suit. “Time to get out of the pool.” Madelyn carried Liana and started drying her. When she had finished, Roxanne brought her Celia to change. A few minutes later, they sat under an umbrella each with a toddler in her arms to feed.
“So the Diabs have somehow adopted you as daughter-in-law.” Madelyn huffed. “It’s not fair for you. You live far away and you don’t plan to go back there. Why burden you with desperate problems that increase your stress especially in your condition?”
“Remember they don’t know I’m pregnant. I’ll do my best for them. Then I’ll be able to move on with my life.” Deep down, she knew the past months would be forever etched in her heart. In addition to her memories, Nabil’s child would always remind her of the past, maybe forbidding her to be happy with another man. “Madelyn, don’t ever have a fight on the phone. You never know if you’ll have a chance to make up.”
“My poor Roxy, that last call with your friend is destroying you.” Then Madelyn peered at her. “You said you spent time thinking about his proposal. No spontaneous I love you. Yes, I‘ll marry you, as I answered Nick.”
Roxanne bit her lip. “You had no hesitation, no doubt?”
“Not one bit.”
“After our night together, I was determined to turn the page. If I wasn’t carrying his baby, I would have dismissed our time together as a bittersweet episode due to the war conditions. Now, everything has changed.” She pressed Celia against her heart. One day soon Roxanne would have her own baby to cuddle. He’d make up for the sorrow. “Meanwhile tomorrow I have to go to Atlanta. The boss needs me.”
****
“My stomach is still flat and I haven’t put on weight.” Standing in front of a full length mirror in the guest bedroom, Roxanne scrutinized her figure in a yellow tuni
c-like dress. Front and side, and then she swiveled and glanced over her shoulder at her backside. The glorious Floridian sunshine and the fresh air of the beach had restored her health. Except for a light morning sickness, she felt great physically and exercised every day.
She might as well enjoy her sexy short dresses and high heels while she could still wear them. In a few months... She sighed at the notion that slowly but surely she’d balloon like Heather had with every baby she’d carried.
Soon many things would change—things more important than clothes and shoes. Determined not to let negative thoughts cloud her bright mood, she grabbed her purse and strode out of the apartment to ride the elevator. Greg should be here any moment to pick her up.
In front of The Blue Lagoon building, Greg leaned against his car, striking in beige pants and a striped collared shirt opened at the throat in a V to reveal dark curls. He came straight to hug her.
Warmth seeped through her body.
“I missed you, beautiful. These were two very long days.” He held her at arm’s length. His gaze roved over her, singeing her with its heat. “You look wonderful.”
“I missed you too. But I couldn’t avoid flying to Atlanta. My boss insisted I report to the KNR headquarters. We had a long talk.”
“Let’s go to dinner. You can tell me all about it.” They slipped in his old SUV and he revved the engine.
“Where are we going?”
“To the Sea Watch. A well established restaurant on the ocean. The food is good and the old patrons are rather quiet. We’ll be able to hold a conversation without tourists’ brouhaha or rock music drumming in the background.”
At the restaurant, he parked his car and helped her out of his SUV. She caught the lingering gaze he cast toward her legs and the ensuing sigh. Dear Greg, he’d been the perfect gentleman, such a good friend. Since they drove together from Kentucky to Florida for fifteen hours, chatting with Greg had become as natural and easy as sharing dinner with him every night. The two days in Atlanta had been awfully lonely without him.
“So tell me what you did in Atlanta.”
“Nothing much. I worked and attended a lot of meetings. Went to dinner with the boss and my colleagues. Read and watched TV in my apartment.”
“Nothing exciting?”
“Believe me, I had more than my share of excitement when I traveled abroad.”
The waiter interrupted them to take their orders.
After they chose their soft drinks and entrees, Roxanne blathered on about work, her boss and colleagues, the TV stations and programs, coming assignment and interviews.
“Did they agree to let you stay here for another month?”
“I asked to continue working from home. It doesn’t matter where I’m physically located. As long as I have my laptop, iPad and smartphone, I can participate in the conference calls and type my interviews, reports, or articles.”
Greg’s bright smile welcomed her announcement. “So glad you’ll remain in Fort Lauderdale indefinitely.”
“I told my boss I was expecting a baby, without mentioning details. Eventually I’ll have to stop the foreign assignments and long trips.”
“Roxy.” Greg grabbed her hand. “Does that mean you’ve reached a decision about...?” She’d noticed Greg avoided mentioning the specific events that led to her situation and even her foreign friends’ names.
“Yes, and thank you for listening to my endless debates. I’ve decided my baby will be born and raised here as a good American.”
Greg exhaled in relief. “Am I glad you made up your mind. Now you’ll forget the past and relax.”
“Wait. I’m not done.” Holding his gaze, she folded her hands and leaned over the table. “My boss asked me to take one last trip next week to report about the latest developments in Iraq.”
“No way.” Greg banged a fist on the table.
A dozen other patrons swiveled their heads toward them. Greg scanned their bemused expressions and hissed. “Darn, they’re going to think we’re a pair of lovers fighting. Smile or laugh.” He cracked his knuckles, threw his head back, and burst out laughing. “That’s a good one, sweetheart,” he said over the din of the restaurant. “Great joke.” The old patrons resumed their dinners.
Amused, Roxanne smiled sweetly. “Are you losing it?”
“Almost,” he said in a controlled voice. “You’d make a saint lose his aureole.”
This time she chuckled, but her amusement vanished at his scowl. Madelyn was right. Maybe Roxanne should stop analyzing her problems with Greg. “Greg, try to understand—”
“Oh no. You’ve asked me to understand you and your situation at least twice a day for the last month. No more. As your doctor I say you can’t go back to that damn place again.”
What was the matter with the men in her life ordering her around? For years, she’d done exactly as she pleased. And it landed you in a mess, a little voice reminded her.
“You gave me a clear bill of health two days ago. It’s my job, Greg. A few more interviews.”
“What if something happens to you there?” His fingers balled on the table.
“Greg, listen.” She’d never allowed anyone to interfere in her job. Annoyed, she lifted her chin. “I’ve been going there for six months. I can take care of my—”
“You’ve told me you’ve been attacked once before.” His scowl betrayed his worry.
Her bluster died. He was referring to the encounter that changed her life. That first time she met Nabil when he beat the ruffians and saved her. She remembered it too well. And she remembered her last argument with the daring officer. The words that kept eating at her heart.
“You’re right.” Her hand covered his in a conciliatory gesture. His fingers immediately entwined with hers and scorched her with their warmth. She’d never fight with Greg before going on a trip. Actually, she wished she could sit on his lap and ask him to hold her. “I really appreciate your concern. You’re a dear friend.” Much more than a friend. But she didn’t dare say the words, afraid he’d push her away. After all she was carrying another man’s child.
Greg stared at their enfolded hands, and lifted an eyebrow as if he doubted her words or his hearing. “You said I’m right? Is there a but after that?”
She chuckled. “How do you know me so well?”
Enclosing her hand in both of his, he captured her gaze. “I’ve been listening to you for endless hours, day after day. I can guess your thoughts now.”
Could he guess that she wanted to feel his arms around her and taste his lips? She lowered her eyes. And then allowed him to see through her feelings again. She had nothing to hide, and she trusted him.
“Lou Roland, my boss, insists I go to Baghdad. One last time. I have important contacts that other KNR reporters never met. He wants me to interview them.”
“Your boss is a damned selfish ass.” His jaw tightened in disapproval.
Good God, Greg was really upset. Because he worried about her. How sweet. Roxanne had always helped her mother and sisters cope with their emotions. No one had ever reciprocated, simply because she wouldn’t let anyone meddle in her business.
Until Greg. He made it his mission to pull her out of her depressing thoughts every day. Surprisingly, she’d let him. Even when his words of advice interfered with her projects.
Wanting to reassure him, she squeezed his hand. “Lou promised he’d fly me in business class.”
“Big deal.” Greg shrugged. “The man probably thinks that upgrading your ticket is good enough to satisfy his conscience.”
She frowned. “There’s no danger for my baby, right?”
“Your baby is fine. It’s you I’m worried about.”
“Lou will arrange for a KNR guy to meet me at the airport and two armed guards to drive me to the hotel and escort me to my interviews.”
“Armed guards? Oh God.” Greg’s scowl deepened. “Is that supposed to make you feel safer?”
“Things are quiet now in Baghdad. I’ll be
in and out, just long enough to wrap things up.” And help the Diabs in order to clear my conscience.
Greg narrowed his eyes. “I bet the interviews are not the only reason you’ve agreed to go there.”
Scary. This man knew her too well. “Leila asked me to bring medicines for her dad. She emails me daily with bits of news.”
“I see. You’re still feeling bad about his death. I mean a bit guilty?” A bit was putting it mildly.
She nodded. “Very guilty about our last argument. I hung up on him.” She eased her hand out of his and cradled her forehead to prevent the onset of a headache. “I have to make up for it.”
“No, Roxy, you don’t have to make up for anything,” he said, his voice eager. She raised her head to look at him. “I understand about feeling guilty. My mother smothered me with guilt every time she talked to me. She managed to convince me I was responsible for my father’s plane accident because I asked Dad to come early to attend my soccer game.”
“Are you serious?”
“It took me years to get rid of the guilt. But I still can’t go on a plane.”
“Oh Greg, I’m sorry—”
“Don’t say that word. Don’t ever say you’re sorry.” His bitter tone shocked her. One day she’d repay his kindness by helping him get rid of his fear of flying. He hadn’t had it easy with his family, but he’d listened to her rambling for so many hours.
Now that she glimpsed a vulnerable side to Greg, she felt closer to him. If only he could stop treating her as delicate porcelain he was afraid to break and give her a real passionate kiss instead of those brotherly pecks she could do without.
Worry sprouted in her stomach. Maybe he wasn’t attracted to her. Maybe he was just trying to help her because of his friendship to Nick and Madelyn.
Or maybe she had destroyed any attraction he felt by unloading her troubles on him.
Soon she’d balloon and completely lose her appeal. She stroked her belly. Still very flat.
A red flag waved in her mind. If she wanted to keep Greg, she’d have to do something now, before he started looking at her with doctor’s eyes only.
