He drew a deep breath. “I don’t want to wait that long, but I will. You let me know when you think you’re ready, and I will respond accordingly.”
“So I should let you know when it’s time to propose? How do I do this? Just make an announcement?” Exasperation filled her voice.
He frowned. “You’re being difficult.”
“I was never difficult before, was I? Maybe I need to be so you won’t take me for granted again.”
“I never took you for granted!”
She looked down at her hands. “You’re right. You didn’t. Let’s just move forward. We can’t go back and live everything over again, and even if we could, maybe we shouldn’t. Maybe this was the path we were meant to follow to bring us to where we are today.”
He tilted his head to one side, studying her. “You never seemed the type to believe in fate.”
“I’m not, for the most part. I do believe in people being meant for each other, though. And I believe we’re meant for each other. So I need to get past this so we can go on with our lives.” Their food was brought then, and she looked down at the huge plate filled to overflowing. “Looks good.”
He wasn’t looking at his food, but at her when he responded. “Very good.”
* * *
The drive home was tense. They’d danced, but the things they’d said to each other before the meal were heavy on their minds.
“I’m not sure if I’m allowed to kiss you goodnight or if I should leave you at your doorstep with a handshake.”
She sighed, glad he’d broken the silence. “A kiss is fine. In fact, a kiss is mandatory. Always. I don’t care how much we’ve fought. I need that kiss goodnight to keep me going.”
“So my kisses are your sustenance?”
“I don’t deny it.” She shook her head. “I wish I could explain better how I feel, but I’m not sure how. My feelings for you haven’t changed. I still love you as much as I always did. I just need to learn to trust that you’re sticking around this time and not running away from me.”
“I’m not going anywhere. Not without you.”
“We also have to think about Alison and figure out how she feels about everything. Less than a week ago, she was certain I hated her.”
“Oh, she wants us to marry. She asked to see the ring on Wednesday night after we got off the phone.”
“The ring? You still have the ring you proposed with?” She was certain he’d have taken it back.
“Yeah. I hoped you’d change your mind, and it seemed right for you.”
“It’s impossible to stay angry with a man who watched Cyrano de Bergerac until he memorized it and kept the engagement ring he bought me. You need to do something totally insensitive so I can be mad again.”
“Sometimes I wonder why you’re so illogical, and then I remember that you’re a woman.”
She sucked in a breath, absolutely offended by his words, and then she narrowed her eyes. “You said that to make me mad on purpose, didn’t you?”
“Yup. Did it work?”
“For about twenty seconds.” She realized they were at her house, and she unbuckled her seatbelt, sliding across the seat to him. “I need my sustenance now.”
“Just don’t bite me, okay?” He unbuckled as well, turning toward her and catching her waist in his hands. “Come out to the ranch tomorrow. We’ll go for a ride and take a picnic along. There won’t be many more nice days this year. It’s supposed to be in the eighties tomorrow.”
She thought about the pile of essays that needed to be graded, but shrugged. “Sure. I’d love to.” Only a teacher with no life got essays back to her students as quickly as she did. She was tired of having no life.
He leaned down, brushing his lips softly against hers. “Alison will be home around ten, so if you get there around ten thirty or eleven, we’ll go out. How long has it been since you’ve ridden?”
“I haven’t been on a horse since the picnic you took May and me on.” Horses had made her think about him.
“That’s a long time. We’ll make sure not to go too far. You don’t need to have a sore bum for work on Monday.”
She made a face. “You don’t need to be so fascinated with my legs and bum.”
“Did I thank you for wearing a skirt yet? I got to see a whole lot of calf tonight!”
She laughed softly. “I’m not sure why I keep talking to you.”
“Because you love me, and you know I love you. Because we belong together.”
She sighed. “That’s probably it.” After one last kiss, she slid across the seat and opened the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”
“G’night.”
When she got into the house, she leaned against the door, feeling tears come to her eyes. Twenty-plus years of heartache were still there inside her. Would she be able to get past them so she could have a real relationship with him? Or would they continue to plague her forever?
* * *
Sally hadn’t worn jeans in a very long time, so when she pulled a pair from the back of her closet, she said a quick prayer that they’d fit her. They did, but they were a little tighter than she would have liked. She found a button-up shirt to complete the cowgirl look she was going for.
As she drove the short distance out of Wiggieville to Jay’s ranch, she could think of nothing but their argument the night before. She really wasn’t sure she could get past her fears, and maybe spending time with him was futile. She hoped not because she couldn’t imagine going on as she had. Now that he was in her life again, the past few years seemed so empty to her.
She’d lived for her visits with May. She was so excited about her niece being pregnant because it meant she would be a grandmother. Maybe not literally, but close enough. She knew May thought of her as the baby’s grandmother.
She pulled into Jay’s driveway, then got out of her car and went straight to the stables where she found him saddling three of his geldings. “Your horse is better?” she asked, petting the nose of the closest horse.
He shook his head. “He’s not well enough to ride yet. We’ll take these three out and give him another day or two to rest.” He reached over and took her shoulder, pulling her to him. “I need my sustenance before Alison joins us.”
She grinned, tilting her face up for his kiss. For today, she wasn’t going to worry about the future. She was going to enjoy being with two people she cared about and appreciate every moment.
There was a loud throat-clearing from behind them, and Sally pulled away with a blush. “You’re supposed to announce you’re coming very loudly as soon as you leave the house.”
Alison grinned at her. “I kind of like sneaking up on you. This side of you is fun because I’m the only kid at school who sees it. I could tell the others, but they wouldn’t even believe me!”
Sally shook her head. “Don’t tell the others. Let me keep my reputation.”
Alison shrugged. “I think everyone would just think you were human.”
“And they don’t now?”
“Well, think about it, Miss Jackson! You never miss a single day of school. You get essays back the day after they’re turned in, every time. You always have your hair pulled back and looking just the same. Your clothes are never messy. Everything about you is so perfect.” Alison shook her head. “Seeing you with Uncle Jay makes you seem so much more real to me. He kisses you, and you blush. When you look at him, your face is different.”
Jay’s eyes were steady on Sally’s when she met his gaze. “Don’t let it go to your head,” she whispered.
He laughed, reaching out to stroke her cheek. “I already know you love me. We’ll just see if you can forgive me.” He turned away to tie the picnic lunch Alison had made to the back of one of the saddles.
Sally put her hand on his arm. “I’ve already forgiven you. It’s trust we’re working on.”
“Yeah. I remember.” He said nothing else as he swung himself up into the saddle. “You need help?”
Sally shoo
k her head. Riding a horse had once been second nature for her. “I haven’t forgotten.”
Alison got onto her horse as if she’d been riding since she was a toddler. “Where are we going?”
Jay shrugged. “You choose. We’ll follow you.”
Alison led, Jay followed, and Sally brought up the rear. She watched Jay as he rode, thinking about how good he looked in the saddle. After knowing him for more than twenty years, he still made her knees weak. Didn’t that mean he was worth trusting? He’d made it clear he was ready to marry her, so why couldn’t she just go along with it?
Alison found a place on top of a small hill overlooking the Leon River. Sally was a bit stiff as she dismounted, but she walked in a slow circle to try to relieve the soreness of her muscles.
After a minute, she took the quilt that had been tied to the back of her saddle and spread it on the ground while Alison got the food and water. “It’s a good thing we didn’t invite Valerie and May on our picnic,” Alison said with a grin.
“Why’s that?” Sally thought she could use some advice from one of the other women. Maybe she should call May. Everyone was convinced May had all the answers because she wrote romances, but truly, she was less experienced than just about anyone Sally knew. Except maybe herself. She simply needed to have another woman to talk to about it all.
After they’d finished their lunch, Sally leaned against Jay, grateful for his strength. “I can’t believe how tired that ride made me. It’s been way too long since I’ve been on a horse.”
He ran his hands up and down her arms. “I kind of like it that it made you tired. Then I get to touch you more.”
Alison put her hands over her ears. “I don’t think I’m supposed to hear that!”
Sally made a face. “Don’t give the girl more fodder to run to school with and talk about us. Pretty soon, everyone’s going to be convinced that I’m a wild woman out for any man I can find.”
Alison shook her head adamantly. “No way! Everyone knows you’re avoiding Mr. Ward because he’s crushing on you. He’s kind of creepy anyway.”
“How does everyone know Mr. Ward is ‘crushing on me’? Who said that?”
“Oh, he told everyone in math one day that he was going to ask you out.”
“What? Are you kidding me?” Sally looked over her shoulder at Jay. “Why would he do that?”
Alison shrugged. “I think it’s ’cuz the boys were talking about you, and one of them said that you don’t go out with anyone because you have this thing for a dead guy in a play. Then Mr. Ward said he’d get you to go out with him, and you were too pretty to waste yourself on a man who will never love you back.”
Sally groaned. “Why do people talk about me? Why can’t they just let me live my life however I want to live it?”
“No idea. It was a big discussion in algebra two a couple of weeks ago. Or maybe it was last week? It was recently.”
Sally sighed. “Well, that explains his sudden interest in me.”
“Oh, he was interested in you before that.”
“How do you know?” Sally couldn’t believe how much of the school’s gossip the girl knew after such a short time.
“’Cuz he always stares at your butt when you wear slacks to school.”
Sally blinked a few times, not knowing what to say. “I think this conversation needs to be over.”
Jay laughed softly, and Sally could feel him shaking behind her. “Quiet, you. I’m going to have to talk to that freak again.”
“Want me to do it?” he asked.
She nodded. “Yes, I do, but that’s the coward’s way out. I’ll do it on Monday.”
“If you need me, just let me know.” His words were calm, but he still sounded a little too amused to Sally.
“I will. Maybe I’ll let him take me to a play in Dallas after all.”
“No, you won’t.”
“How do you know?” she asked.
“Because you only get the Cyrano look when you see me.” Jay sighed contentedly. “It’s good to have spies at the school.”
Chapter Seven
Sally spent the time after church on Sunday working on grading the essays she’d been putting off. She still wouldn’t have them done as quickly as usual, but surely her students wouldn’t care too much.
It was late afternoon when her phone rang, and she smiled at the display. Jay. She only had to think his name to smile. “Hello?”
“What are you up to?”
She sighed. “Grading papers. Millions of them.” Her to-be-graded stack didn’t seem to be getting any smaller.
“That doesn’t sound like a lot of fun.”
“It’s not, but it needs to be done. My students are used to getting all essays back the day after they turn them in. I’ve spoiled them.” She put her red pen down and walked to the couch, hugging one knee and curling the other leg around it. She wanted to see him. Could she tell him that? Would that be too forward?
“How ’bout you let me take you away from all that? I have a favor to ask, and I’d rather do it in person. Can I take you to the steak place tonight?” There were only two restaurants in Wiggieville, so they tended to be referred to as the Mexican place and the steak place.
“Sure. I can do that.” She frowned at her pile of papers and refused to worry about them. She had a life finally, and she had a right to live it.
“I’ll be there about six.”
“Is Alison coming with us?”
“Not tonight. It’s just you and me.”
She smiled, liking that idea. “I’ll see you then.” She glanced at the clock, seeing it was five. She could probably grade four papers before she needed to dress for dinner. Walking back to the table, she got back to work.
Fifteen minutes before Jay was supposed to arrive, she put on a pair of slacks and a blouse she usually wore to work. It wasn’t anything fancy, but then again, he hadn’t promised to wear his good boots this time.
When he knocked, she hurried to the door. “Hi, you.” She stepped forward and hugged him.
He kissed her quickly, seeming distracted. “You ready?”
“Let me just grab my purse.” She locked up and walked toward his truck with him. “It’s a nice night. Do you mind walking?”
He shook his head. “I’d be happy to.”
“What’s the favor?” she asked.
Jay sighed. “I’d rather talk about it over steak.”
She frowned. For him to be making her wait, it must be something major. “All right.” She walked through the familiar streets toward the steak house, looking around at everything, feeling nostalgic. “I wanted to work in Wiggieville because I liked the idea of living in such a small town where community was everything.”
“Are you glad you do?”
She nodded. “Most of the time. I hate that I’m watched so closely, as if I’m living my life under a microscope, but I know it’s just part of it.”
“How many people are peeking out their blinds at us?” he asked, a sparkle in his eye.
“Only three that I’ve seen so far. Some of them are better at hiding their peeking, though.”
He shook his head. “I forgot how it is here.”
“Is it different in Alaska?”
“Well, we have the same sense of community, but at least in the area I was in, there didn’t seem to be as much of the nosiness. But that’s because there was quite a bit of distance between our homes, too. Just a different life there.”
“You sound like you miss it.”
“I do sometimes because every day was a challenge for me. I love being a rancher, and it’s what I always knew I’d do. Up there, I was a little bit of everything. A veterinarian, a zoologist, a botanist. It’s fascinating to watch the way things change.”
“Yeah. We barely have seasons in Texas.” She kicked at a rock on the sidewalk. “I wish we had the color changes of fall like they do in the north.”
He nodded. “Alaska has four seasons, but you can see them all in the spac
e of about three months. And then the long winter starts … again.”
They got to the restaurant, and he opened the door for her.
The hostess looked up. “Table for two?”
He nodded. “Please.”
She led them to a quiet table near the windows, handing them their menus. “Your server will be with you in a moment.”
Sally didn’t need the menu—she’d eaten there many times over the years. So she set hers down and checked her email on her phone while she waited for him to decide.
Once their orders were placed, she gave him her full attention. “What did you need to ask me?”
He sighed. “One of my buddies in Alaska is sick. They’re already short-staffed this year, and they asked me if I can come up for two weeks until he’s back on his feet. I need someone to stay with Alison.” He didn’t know who else to ask.
She bit her lip, slowly nodding. “I can do that. She’s a sweet girl. Can she come in to town and stay with me instead of me staying at your place, though? I’d feel a lot more comfortable, and May’s old room would work for her just fine.” Her heart was screaming at her for being so calm about him leaving, but what else could she do? Her student needed her. She’d stay at Jay’s if she really needed to, but it would feel strange being around his things and not her own.
“You’re not mad that I want to go?” He studied her face carefully.
“I’ll be mad if you don’t come back,” she answered, a slight smile on her face. She didn’t feel much like smiling at the idea of separation. “You know we’ve only been dating for a week again, and already you’re off for two weeks.”
“I know. I hated even bringing it up, but it’s dead of winter there. They need someone who’s done it all before, not a new guy who would need to be trained.”
“I get it.” And she did. She’d given up her off-periods to cover for another teacher many times. “Alison and I will be fine.”
“I know you will.” He picked up his salad fork. “I’ve already talked to her about it. After we finish our salad, I’ll call her and tell her to pack. That’ll be more than enough time. I knew if you said no, I’d figure something else out. I hope you don’t think I’m taking you for granted.”
Lost Love (Lazy Love Book 4) Page 7
