by M. G. Morgan
I screamed as his back hit the work station, the brand dropping from his hand as he scrambled to push the gurney away and escape from whatever he had fallen on. I didn’t hang around, I didn’t have time to see what was causing him to scream like a banshee. Instead, I ran. I dashed out through the door, running blindly. All I knew was that I needed to escape, I needed to get out of there before my captors had the chance to raise the alarm. I had to get back to Aidan and I wouldn’t stop running until I’d achieved my goals.
CHAPTER THREE
Aidan
The alarm clock beside the bed bleeped. Untucking one arm from beneath my body I did my best to slam the life from it. All I wanted was for the sound to stop. My hand found nothing but air and I reached further, my body going over the edge of the bed as I tumbled down onto the floor.
I landed with a crunch, the first whiskey bottle I’d emptied down my throat the night before breaking underneath me. The second bottle rolled after me, spilling the rest of its contents down across my chest.
“Shit.”
The word came out in a hiss of breath as I grabbed the bottle and turned it right way up. The amber liquid inside was the only thing that helped me forget, the only thing that helped me sleep, I couldn’t afford to waste it.
The glass from the broken bottle sliced into my arm and side as I pushed myself up from the floor. The pain giving me a fleeting moment of relief, something else to focus on besides the constant ache that existed within my chest and gut. I felt like someone who’d suffered a shot gun blast at close range. Without Bella there was nothing left of me, nothing worthwhile anyway. I was a husk, my insides scooped out with a dull blade the moment Christopher had taken her.
I stood and the room swam around me. It was like standing on the deck of a small boat, each wave making me unstable. My eyes sought out the damage on my arm and side, a small piece of glass still sat in the wound just below my chest and yet, I didn’t feel it. Blood dripped slowly onto the floor and I let it, none of it mattered. I tugged the piece of glass from the wound and sucked in a long gulp of whiskey. It burned all the way down my throat and settled in my chest.
Heading for the bathroom I leaned over the sink and stared at my reflection in the broken mirror. It was easier to stare at a broken reflection of myself, it’s what I was now anyway. Broken. Christopher had known exactly what he was doing when he took her. He’d known what it would do to me. Things would have been easier if he’d just shot me when he had the chance. Death would have been a blessing… Anything would have been better than this hell.
My brain took a type of sick enjoyment from throwing up all the possible scenarios, all the things Christopher could be doing to Bella. It was a way to punish myself. All the things I couldn’t save her from. All the things I’d failed to keep her safe from. My stomach rejected the whiskey as I imagined him touching her, imagined him holding her as he… I vomited, over and over until there was nothing left inside me, nothing but the hollow feeling.
I dropped the bottle and stumbled from the bathroom and back into the bedroom. Collapsing onto the bed I scooped up the photo-album I’d found in Bella’s apartment. Pictures of her smiling and happy, pictures of her on holiday, pictures of her hugging her parents, pictures of her grinning with her friends… All of it gone. She was gone.
Tears trailed down my face and I scrubbed them away with my hands. What good was crying? I didn’t have the right to cry for her, I was the reason she was gone. I was the problem.
The cell phone on the bedside locker started to buzz and I lunged for it. Answering the call I pressed it to my ear.
“Bella?”
Every time the phone rang I had the same reaction. Always hoping, wishing it was her.
“Where the hell are you? You asked to be kept in the loop on this investigation, Crantree. How do you expect that to happen if you don’t even bother to turn up when the results from the crime scene coordinators are in?”
Detective Arnolds voice was filled with irritation.
“I’m sorry, I forgot… I’ll be right there.”
“Look, Aidan, I know you’re getting it hard. If you need some time no one will think any less of you because of it.”
“I don’t need any time, I told you that already. I’m just running a little late, that’s all. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
I hung up, pressing the cell phone against my forehead. How could I have forgotten? I’d known the results were coming in and they were important. So far everything else had proven itself to be a dead end. The evidence gathered from Bella’s abduction was the only thing I had left. The last thin shred of hope I had left of finding her.
Dropping the phone onto the covers I headed straight for the shower. I turned the dial until the water ran cold and then I stepped beneath it. The icy spray stole my breath and had me gasping for air until my body slowly adjusted. But it was the best way to wake up. I needed to look alert, Arnolds wanted me gone. None of them had exactly approved of me dating a witness… They’d all taken Hunter’s view on it, you didn’t mix business with pleasure, especially not cop business.
But it was more than just looking alert. I wanted, needed to be alert for whatever clues the techs would come up with. I knew this case better than anyone and I stood the best chance of finding Bella. I’d already let her down, but I wouldn’t let her down now. I would find her. No matter what it took, I would get her back.
The small hairs on the back of my neck stood to attention as I entered the station. The odd stares, and knowing looks, the whispered words that spoke of my disgrace made me feel like a circus act. Some of the other detectives believed that Hunter was dead because of me, because I couldn’t keep it in my pants… That somehow Bella was even more connected to Christopher than she had been. The didn’t seem to want to believe that I was the reason he knew about her existence at all… That it really was just an unfortunate series of events.
An unfortunate series of events. What the hell did that mean anyway?
“Crantree, quit your dawdling and get your ass in here.” Arnolds voice boomed out through the office.
I spotted him, standing at the door to the conference room and I immediately headed in his direction. He was well respected throughout the precinct, he’d served his time and proven himself to be one tough son-of-a-bitch. He’d been here longer than anyone else and I knew my sudden rise through the ranks hadn’t sat too well with him. He was a firm believer in rewarding those who were here longest. Solving a few high profile cases didn’t rank high in his estimation. And neither did I.
“Sorry, I’m late…”
He didn’t give me a chance to finish my sentence. I watched as he wrinkled his nose. He peered at me, his eyes narrowing as he took in my blood-shot eyes, and unshaven face.
“Are you drunk?”
“What sort of a question is that?” I asked, anger beginning to spread through my body. If I’d been honest with myself I’d have realised that I was looking for a fight. That I was looking for a way to expel some of the nervous energy caused by my guilt. But squaring up to Arnolds was not the way to go.
“It’s a direct question, Crantree. You expect me to allow you access to evidence when you’re drunk? You couldn’t even be bothered to have a shave this morning. And what is that?”
He pointed to my side and I glance down, the blue shirt I wore had a spreading red stain on it. It was small but it was noticeable, and Arnolds had noticed it. I’d bandaged up the cut from the glass, after the shower, clearly I hadn’t done a good enough job.
“It’s nothing. Look, I’m sorry I was late but I really need to know what they found out. I need to know what is being done to find her.”
“I’m afraid, Aidan, I can’t share that with you. Not when you’re like this. What happened to you man? You used to be a good cop and now look at you? You’re a mess…”
“Matthew, please. Please, just tell me.” I lowered my voice. “I’m begging you.”
“Aidan, get a grip on
yourself. You know how this works, I was doing you a favour in the first place. But I won’t get dragged down with you. Your behaviour has been less than desirable.”
“I love her and I’m the reason she’s gone. I need to set things straight, I need to find her…”
He cut me off, lifting his free hand as though to silence me, I could tell from the expression he wore that he had no intention of giving me anything. He had probably just dragged me down here so he could humiliate me some more. So he could show everyone what a mess I was, how I didn’t deserve to be a cop.
“Go home, Aidan, and don’t think about coming back until you get over all of this nonsense. You’re a cop for God’s sake, you can’t behave like this. Especially after what happened to Hunter…”
It was the last straw. Rage boiled in my veins and I reacted. Drawing my arm back I let it go, my fist connecting with his jaw as it made a satisfying crunch. He staggered back away from me, stunned for a second but I followed him. Tackling him to the floor we rolled together. He regained the upper hand momentarily as his fists caught me in the ribcage, knocking the air from my lungs.
Gasping I retaliated, one quick upper cut to the face followed by two rapid body blows. Strong arms wrapped around my body, hauling me up from the floor and back onto my feet. I fought against them, struggling to get free. Rage continued to flood my body. I wanted to kill him, to stop him from talking about Bella as though she didn’t matter at all… She mattered to me and that should have been good enough for all of them… And yet, it didn’t seem to be.
“What the hell is going on out here?” The chiefs voice cut in over the other cop’s noise, silencing the room.
I stilled my struggling, my body still tense, I was ready to pounce at the first opportunity. Arnolds stood at the opposite side of the circle of people that had gathered. He rubbed his jaw and swiped at the trickle of blood that trailed down from his lip.
“I said, what the hell happened?”
The Chief Rexton arrived into the centre of the circle, his presence instantly intimidating and threatening. He hadn’t gotten the position because he was nice, or good at politics and P.R. He’d earned the position through hard work and steely determination. He didn’t take crap, and I’d always admired him.
“Detective Crantree here is drunk. I told him to go home and get his head sorted out before he came back, that’s when he attacked me.”
“You deserved it.” I ground the words out, from between gritted teeth.
“Come into my office, Crantree, I think it’s time we had a little chat.”
The other cops holding me didn’t release me immediately. They could sense the tension in my body and they knew what I was capable of. But the Chief Rexton simply raised one eyebrow and they released me. He started to move away and I followed him. He didn’t look back to see if I was following his orders. Other cops might have felt the need to check, but not him. He simply took it at face value that whatever he commanded would get done. And he was right, there wasn’t one man or woman standing in the room that would have gone against him.
He pushed the glass door of his office open and moved inside until he was positioned behind the desk. He waited until I’d closed the door before he sat down and gestured to one of the seats in front of him.
“Sit.”
It was an order, not a request but everything with him was like that. He sat back in the high backed leather chair and watched me. Much like a wolf might watch its prey. He was looking for my weakness, a way in. Something he could use to destroy me, and if he thought for a second that he could do it, then he would. He was the type of man that despised weakness in others.
“There isn’t a whole lot that you can do to me, that will make what I’m feeling any worse.”
I had nothing left to lose. I’d known the moment I’d drawn out and punched Arnolds that I wouldn’t be a cop for a very long time… If ever again. It was a strangely freeing feeling. It would make finding Bella harder in one sense but at least if I was free of the constraints of the law I could do whatever I needed to do, in order to find her.
“You’re a good cop, Aidan, a good detective. Why throw all of that away?”
“I didn’t consider throwing it away, Arnolds needed to be taken down a peg or two, he knew what he was doing was wrong. He knew I’d gotten my hopes up…”
“Hopes? You’re a cop, Crantree, you know as well as I that hopes and dreams don’t come into an investigation. Arnolds was right to refuse you access to the evidence. You’re drunk and you attacked another officer.”
I dropped my head forward into my hands.
“But he was wrong to give you false hope. I know what it’s like to lose someone special. I know what that feels like, and I know how important every little detail becomes.”
I jerked my head back up, my gaze trained on the man on the other side of the desk. What the hell was he talking about? He had a wife and kids… So who had he lost that made sympathise with me?
“I know what you’re thinking and I knew her before I ever married Clarissa. But she was special and what happened to her was my fault, or at least I believed that. I beat myself up about it for years after. I didn’t tell Clarissa about it for a very long time… And when I did she helped me understand that what happened wasn’t my fault.”
Sighing I brushed my hands back through my hair. I was glad that he had come to terms with what had happened in his past. I was even glad that he had found someone that he could share it with. But my situation wasn’t like that. Bella going missing was my fault. I was the one that needed to do something to find her. As far as I was concerned no one would find her but me. All I could hope for was that I would find her before Christopher had the chance to do any lasting damage to her.
Rexton sighed and leaned towards me over the desk.
“None of this is having any effect on you is it?”
I shrugged, what sort of an answer did he expect from me? What sort of an answer could I give him? It wasn’t having the effect that he wanted and that was for sure. All his story seemed to do was make me even more certain that I would do what I had to do.
“Did you ever find her?”
He quirked an eyebrow at me.
“Your someone special, did you ever find her?”
Chief Rexton stared down at his folded hands. I could see the way he clenched his jaw, the slight whitening of his knuckles. He didn’t need to give me the answer verbally, his body language had done it all for him.
“Yes. I found her. Just not the way I’d hoped I would.”
I nodded and stood.
“I’m sorry it worked out that way for you. But I can’t have the same result. It’s not something I could survive.”
“Life doesn’t always give us the things we want you know, Crantree… Sometimes it gives us the complete opposite. And often it’s for our own good, we just haven’t figured that part out yet.”
My back stiffened and I balled my hands into fists at my side. I could lose it with Arnolds, he deserved a punch. The Chief of Police was someone entirely different. And if I was honest, I wasn’t even sure I’d be able to take him.
“I’m suspending you, Crantree, pending a psychological evaluation, you need some counselling. Losing your partner and losing Bella has hit you hard and I understand that. But I can’t have loose cannons running around.”
I nodded. It was better than I’d expected. He wasn’t firing me, only suspending. It gave me hope for the future. Hope that I would get everything back on track. Back to the way it should have been. I couldn’t save Hunter, Christopher had fixed that, but I could save Bella. So that was what I would do.
“Aidan.”
Rexton’s voice halted my movement to the door.
“Yes?”
“Don’t do anything stupid. You’re a good cop, I want you back on the force. I don’t want to lose another good detective to this guy, alright?”
“You won’t.”
And it was true. Which part of was
true? Well that was up for debate.
CHAPTER FOUR
Bella
Thinking about escaping was much easier than actually escaping. I ran until it felt as though my lungs would explode, and even then I kept running. I had no choice. Enough time had passed that I was sure they knew I was gone.
The inside of whatever this place was, was like a labyrinth. Each door I raced through seemed to only lead to more corridors. There was no sound and it made me nervous. Surely there had to be someone who could help me? Someone who would take pity on me and help me escape. But there was nothing. I didn’t know if I was running in circles and I could feel myself becoming more and more disorientated.
Spotting one lone door at the far end of the corridor I stood in I ran towards it, my bare feet slapping against the cold stone floor. The door was heavy and made entirely of metal. I strained against it, heaving my entire body into it in an attempt to shift it just a little bit. When it did finally yield, the metal screeched across the stone floor.
If they hadn’t known I was gone before, then they certainly knew I was gone now. It would be impossible to ignore a noise like that.
The sound of shouting in the distance drew my attention. They were after me. They knew I was gone and I didn’t have much time. Cold air whipped around my body as I pushed the door again, opening it just enough to be able to see past it to what lay beyond.
There didn’t seem to be any moon light, but I could just make out a rough path leading away from whatever building I was trapped inside. I pushed again, the voices drawing closer to where I was. They couldn’t catch me now, not when I was so close to escaping, not when I was so close to finding my way back to Aidan.
