I think I’m going to be sick. He hates me. He really hates me. This is just a game to get back at me for what I did. I know, because I’ve played this same game with all sorts of people who did me wrong. Let me correct myself: the old me did.
“Sarah, do you have an idea of what you might like?” my uncle asks, causing me to blink and exhale loudly.
I glance down at the menu and then back at my uncle Paul. He’s smiling as if he knows I want something that isn’t on the menu. Of course, this only makes my face heat more. “I … um …”
“Excuse me,” a deep voice breaks into our conversation. “Evening, Mr. and Mrs. Issac, may I have a word with Sarah?”
My uncle Paul nods. My auntie Heather smiles. “Hello, Graham. How have you been, hon?”
“I’ve been good.”
Auntie Heather waves me off. “Go on, dear.”
I glance up at Graham and push away from the table. He helps me out of my chair, which surprises me, but it also makes me melt. Just a little.
This isn’t good for me. I will not get caught up in the game. I will not fall harder for Graham than is necessary. I need to let these feelings I have for him go. Get some closure and be done.
He guides me out into the garden area, where blue and white flowers cascade around us and twinkly lights weave overhead. It makes me think of the perfect place to have a wedding. “It seems we’re going to keep running into each other,” Graham says in an irritated tone.
I flinch. “I suppose so. Wait, why? Aren’t you returning to school? Oh God, is your mom sick or something?”
Graham glares at me. “No, my mom is perfectly fine. I’m just not returning to school right now. I’ve got some things I have to take care of, which is none of your concern. Figured the decent thing to do was to warn you. So we might as well get used to this. Us seeing each other. We can pretend we don’t know one another. So I won’t say your name or hello. You can do the same.”
I drop my gaze to my feet and sigh. “Okay. If that’s what you want I understand.”
“Jesus, Sarah, you ripped my heart out and handed it back to me mangled. What did you expect here?”
I shake my head. “Nothing. I know what I did was wrong. Hurting you will be one of my many big regrets, but I can’t focus on that. So, for what it’s worth, I’m sorry.” I feel the hot sting of tears sliding down my face. I will not look Graham in the eye so he can see the effect he has on me. So I swipe my hands against my cheeks and pretend I’m just brushing my own hair out of my face. Then I head off to the restroom.
Trust me, I want to get a glance of his face the moment I confess that hurting him was a huge mistake. But I can’t. Doing so would leave me more open to his wounding words than ever. What if he said something cruel like, “Good, that’s what you get.” Believe me, I know it’s all on me, but to know that I’d ruined any shot with him forever? To confirm how much he hates me? It would probably kill me. What’s worse, I feel like he was the only one here who got closure. How the hell can I possibly move on while I feel like my heart was thrown in a blender and then served right back to me? Heart à la mode, anyone?
I splash some cool water on my face and run a dry paper towel under my eyes. I check my appearance and then return to our table as if nothing happened.
Chapter Five
Graham
It’s been almost a week since my last run-in with Sarah. I need to stay away from her. When she talks I want to claim her mouth. When she looks at me with those cunning blue eyes I get caught up on how the light changes them, kind of like the ocean. Then part of me has this strong urge to punish her for fucking around on me. Tease the hell out of her and make her beg for me to take her against a wall.
Snatching up a few items on my grocery list, I make my way to the checkout. Not just anyone’s—hers. Another clerk opens up a station, but I tell the people in front and behind me to go over to the lane with no line. Why? Because as much as I want to stay the hell away from Sarah I can’t. I want to see her blush, fidget, and get all worked up like she was at the restaurant.
Besides, I don’t have to say hello. I set my things on the rotating belt and put a plastic spacer between my order and the next person’s.
A tall dude with a red tie stalks up behind Sarah and whispers in her ear. I tighten my fists. He shouldn’t be so close. He shouldn’t have his mouth inches away from her secret, sensitive area. That’s mine. Even fuckwad Ryan didn’t have a claim to that spot. Nope. All me. Sarah nods and then flips off her light. She bends over, and I watch the asshole’s eyes dip. Oh, he’s checking out her fine assets, and it’s pissing me off.
She straightens with a sign in her hand. The guy who’s probably her boss moves away from her station and walks over to the pharmacy section. Good.
Sarah’s voice pulls me from my thoughts. “Graham. Um … hi … uh … will you please put this at the end of your order?”
She hands me a “lane closed” sign. I drop it down after the last item on the belt and smile at her. Once she finishes up with the woman in front of me, she starts scanning my things. “Your boss seems to like your ass as much as the dickwad who was eye-fucking it the last time I was in here.”
“Excuse me?” she gasps.
“Sarah, don’t play stupid. Your boss and that tool want to fuck you. So are you dating them both too?”
Deep red blossoms on her cheeks, and she narrows her gaze. “First off, what I do is none of your business. Second, I thought you wanted us to pretend like we didn’t know each other? Seem to be breaking your own rules there, Captain Asshole!”
I laugh. “Don’t be mad, baby. I’m simply pointing out the obvious.”
She scans my items and doesn’t say another word. I should be enjoying this, but I’m not. She’s not looking at me. She places the items in a bag, tells me my total, and waits for me to pay. I smirk and hand her a twenty.
Sarah hands me my change and my bag. I grip her hand and stare at her. Her gaze locks with mine. “I’m sorry.”
“Are you?” she asks.
I nod. “Yeah. I am.” I let her hand go and then smile. “See you around.”
She exhales loudly, and I walk away.
***
There are steps to recovery. Step one is to admit you have a problem. I roll my eyes. If I seriously had a problem, I’d admit it. Two: admit a greater power can restore your sanity. Um, again, don’t have a problem and not losing my mind over it. But it’s whatever.
This place is a joke for a person like me. The girl next to me—I think her name is April or Autumn, I’m not really sure—blows a bubble and pops it. Clearly she’s as bored as I am. I nudge her. “Hi.”
She peers over at me and shakes her head. “Trying to pay attention here.”
“Really? Why?”
“Because my next strike, I go to jail. Three DUIs, man, trying to change this time.”
I fold my arms and lean back against the shitty metal foldout chair. “Well, that sucks.”
“First timer, what did you do?”
“I didn’t drink and drive. I just got drunk at a party.” I shrug. That’s the truth. I leave out the part about blacking out and ending up in a chick’s room with no idea how or when I got there.
She smiles at me, showing off a row of crooked teeth, and says, “Yeah. Keep telling yourself that, stud. They wouldn’t put you in here if you didn’t need help.”
“Well, everyone in the world over the age of eighteen can say yes to those damn questions on those pamphlets to determine if you have a problem with alcohol. Does it make everyone over the age of eighteen a bunch of alcoholics?”
“Probably not. But they aren’t here, are they, stud? You are, though. So you should probably try to pay attention.”
I glare at the man standing in front of us preaching about the steps to recovery. Wonder how many people actually successfully bullshitted their way through these steps? How long could it possibly take to be seen as changed? Hopefully I can breeze through this shit and ge
t back to my old life.
As the meeting finally winds down, I make my way to the exit. Not before shouldering into Bryce’s mom. Shit! She looks at me with wide eyes and stammers, “G-graham, what are you doing here?”
“Court ordered.” I laugh.
She flinches. “No one knows I come here. Not even your mother. Please do not repeat anything to anyone.” We make our way out the building.
“I wouldn’t. I don’t want anyone knowing I’m suspended from school until I complete this stupid shit. Your secret is safe with me.”
She nods. This is why Ms. Matthews is pretty awesome in some ways. She doesn’t even ask for the full story of why I’m suspended. “Did you get a sponsor?” she asks.
“What?”
“Someone to call in case you feel the urge to drink. You need someone to call.”
I shake my head. “I’m pretty sure that’s not necessary since my mom got rid of all the booze in our house. Plus, I’ve been basically a hermit for the past two weeks.”
We walk down the street to the parking lot. “If you need to call someone, please call me. I’ll be your sponsor. I’ve only been sober a few months, but it’s better than no one.”
“All right. I gotta go, Ms. Matthews, my mom is timing me.”
She nods. “Okay. Stay out of trouble, Graham.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
I hurry home, and sure enough, as soon as I waltz in the door, my mom glowers. “Where were you?”
“AA. Like I was ordered.”
“Well, you’re five minutes late. Where did you go?”
The answer, “Stopped by a bar,” comes to mind, but, instead, I just snap, “Jesus, Mom, five freaking minutes. Really? I was getting a sponsor. You know that’s what you have to do. All these stupid steps to recovery. Get a sponsor. Huddle up in a little campfire group and listen to horror stories. Then you get to come home and be judged by people you see daily. Sounds effing awesome, right?” I plow through the kitchen and snatch an apple from the dish in the middle of the table and take a bite.
She fumes. “Don’t you talk to me like that, young man! I brought you into this world, I can most certainly take you out of it! I’m not the one who got into trouble and put you in this position! You did that all on your own. Accept the responsibility and stop snapping at me when I ask you a simple question.”
I brush past her and head up to my room. I’ve had enough of this shit. Screw her. I wouldn’t be in this mess if she’d believed me and hired someone to actually defend my side instead of just hanging me out to dry.
I take another bite out of my apple and take a seat on my bed. I pull out my phone and call Bryce. “Hey, man. What’s going on?” he asks.
“Nothing much. What’s up with you?”
“Eh, heading over to Mads’s. Taking her out to dinner then a movie.”
I toss my apple away. “That’s cool. How is our Maddy?” Okay, it still kind of freaks me out that my two best friends are dating. No, let me rephrase: it blows my mind that they’re dating. Because I swear, if someone would have said Bryce and Maddy were going to become a couple, I would have laughed and said maybe when pigs fly over the fucking moon. Because those two literally fought like cats and dogs. But then, I don’t know, shit changed. And I see the way he looks at her. He’d die for her. Literally.
“She’s good. Stressing about a project. She’ll nail it though. You know how she is. So, what’s this shit I hear about you being at home?”
Damn it. I close my eyes. “Who told you?”
“Mads had Sarah on speaker. Dude, you going to start explaining?”
“Right after you repeat what you just said. Because it sounded like you said Maddy and Sarah actually have phone conversations.”
“Um, they’ve been talking for a while now, bro. I know you don’t want to hear this, but Sarah’s changing a lot. Don’t stall anymore. Tell me what the hell is going on.”
Sarah. Changing? Ha. Yeah. Sure. Once a cheater, always a cheater. I scowl. “It’s a big misunderstanding. I was drinking. Apparently, I walked into someone’s dorm room and tried to sleep in their bed. I don’t know. It got me kicked out for a little bit. Don’t tell Madison shit about this! I don’t need her repeating this to Sarah.”
“Dude! That sounds like a big-ass deal if they tossed you out.”
“Yeah, well, it’s whatever. I’m not exactly tossed out for good. I just have to take some shitty classes and stay out of trouble. All will be back to normal in less than 112 days.”
He snorts. “All right, man, if you say so. I’m here at Mads’s. You wanna say hi to her?”
“No. Are you kidding? She’ll hound me for information. I’ll talk to you later, man.”
“Cool. Talk to you later.”
I click ‘end’ and glare at my ceiling. Great. Just freaking great. Madison and Bryce both know I’m here. Fuck. Madison’s going to corner me during Thanksgiving break. I just know it.
I slam my fist into my mattress. “Damn it!”
“Graham!” my mom yells. “There’s someone here to see you!”
For shit’s sake. Who the hell would stop by to see me? Who even knows I’m here? Crazy-ass Mrs. Mayberry. I should slash her tires. Then she wouldn’t be able to get around to spread her rumors all over the place. Who am I kidding? She probably has everyone and anyone with as big a mouth as hers on speed dial.
I make my way downstairs and freeze halfway. Sarah stares up at me, and I raise a brow. When I finally reach the bottom step, I ask, “What can I do for you, Sarah?”
“I need to talk to you.”
I step aside and motion for her to go up the stairs to my room.
She looks around and then huffs. “Fine.”
I follow her, and my gaze drops to her sexy ass. As soon as we enter my room, I close the door behind me.
She turns and drills her finger right into my chest. “Who the hell do you think you are? I’m trying to remain friendly. I said I’d avoid you. What gives you the right to come to my work and say the horrible things you said to me?”
I push her finger aside and walk over to my computer chair. “Is this what you really want to talk about?”
Her nose crinkles, and her eyebrows draw inward. She takes a seat on my bed. “Don’t come to my work anymore. If you do, do not talk to me! I made a mistake. I can’t take it back. But you just keep harping on it. I’ve moved on, Graham! Do the same!”
“Anything else?” I eye her. She’s got a low-cut, long-sleeve shirt on that shows off a lot of her nice cleavage. Her long legs are covered in some tight jeans that are hot as hell on her. I want to rip them off and decorate my floor with them. But I shouldn’t think about shit like this.
“No.”
I shrug and take a seat at my desk. “Shame. We could have gotten a round of fun in.”
She stands up. “Like I’d even want to!”
“Oh, honey. I know you do. It’s practically written all over you.” I’m an asshole for challenging her, but she brings it out of me. God. I want to bite her lip. If she sucks it into her mouth any more I’m going to explode.
“Will you ever stop being such an asshole to me?”
“I’d have to give a fuck to be a complete asshole to you. That would mean I actually care. But here’s the thing, Sarah, I don’t. You broke me in high school, sure. But I’ve had plenty of lovely ladies help me forget all about you. I was just suggesting a little round of fun for you to see what you’re missing out on. Obviously if those two twats at the grocery store were doing a great job, you wouldn’t be here.”
She stalks over to me and smacks me straight across the right side of my face. I deserve it. “Don’t you dare come near me, you arrogant mother—”
I grab her hands and pull her into my lap before capturing her mouth with mine.
Chapter Six
Sarah
His kiss is so intoxicating. I’m so mad at him, but this feels so good. His lips are hard, yet filled with heated passion I’ve never felt
before. Even when we dated, he never kissed me like this. Losing myself in the moment, I melt against his body.
A moan escapes me, and I adjust myself so I straddle him. His hands grip my butt, and then one snakes up through my hair. He sucks on my bottom lip, and I tilt my head back. His mouth slowly makes its way down my neck, and I grind against him.
He chuckles lightly. “Oh, baby, see, I told you this could be fun. I bet your panties are soaked.”
“Shut up,” I growl.
He picks me up and then drops me into the chair. He walks over to his bed, putting distance between us. “Leave.”
“What?” I ask breathily.
“Leave.”
All the air is knocked completely out of me. Did he … ? I hop out of the chair. “Are you kidding me?”
“Does it look like I’m kidding? Go.”
He doesn’t look like he’s kidding.
I storm out of his room, my eyes burning as my throat tightens. I’ve never been so humiliated in my entire life! He just … God, he had me so turned on I would have let him have me right there. But he just … pushed me off like this was all a game. Well, I’ll show him. I’m not one to be played with.
***
In the library, I sit at the round table listening to Logan answer the question Crystal asked him. They’re in my study group for biology. We’ve been cramming in this information for days now. Crystal smiles at Logan. It’s not innocent, either; it’s full of meanings Logan is too blind to see.
He looks over at me. “You’re up, Red.”
Yup, that’s what Logan calls me. Ever since I dyed my hair from blond to red, I’ve gotten more nicknames than I can count. I slap the table and lean forward. “Give it to me.”
He lifts a brow and laughs. Crystal glares at me, and I shrug. I didn’t mean it like these two pervs are interpreting. I sigh. “What’s my question?”
Graham (Scandalous Boys Book 2) Page 3
