I laugh the first hard, good laugh I’ve had in a while.
“Hey. You aren’t supposed to crack up,” Madison says. “He’s just mad because he had to carry two of these up here.”
“That’s some real love,” I say, still chuckling.
“Damn straight it is!” Bryce kisses Maddy and smiles.
I hate how sickly perfect they are. The ache in my heart returns.
“Sarah, how is everything? Have things calmed down some?” Maddy asks.
I shrug. “A little.”
“You haven’t called him, have you?” Madison asks. She knows the answer, though, before I say it. Her frown is a deep indication of it. Maybe I’m being stupid. Maybe I should just get it over with. One call. I’ll feel better, won’t I?
Chapter Forty
Graham
Twenty minutes into the party, nothing has gone wrong. Guess that’s a good thing. Of course I probably should have knocked on wood because Kyle is already storming toward me.
“What the hell are you doing here?” he growls.
“Hanging out with my roommate and his chick. Why?”
He glares at me. “You’ve got to be kidding me, right? Nichols, you can’t be here. Your homeboys are here. They’re looking to finish what they started. My advice is to stay the hell away from them.”
“Why?”
“Dude, I don’t need this shit right now. I promised Sarah I’d keep you out of trouble. I told Mads I’d make sure you didn’t wind up in another mess. But here you are doing every fucking thing I tell you not to do. Must be all those years hanging out with your boy Matthews.”
I roll my eyes. “Fuck off, Kyle. I don’t need a fucking babysitter.”
“No. You need someone who has your back, and your boy isn’t here. And no offense, man, I love my sister and my cousin, but if you fuck up again, don’t you dare think I’m following you down the rabbit hole. I need my scholarship. And I’m this close to going pro. If you can’t listen to me, that’s not my problem.”
He shoves me hard and walks off.
“What’s the deal with you and Issac?” Reed asks. “He looked super pissed, like he was going to beat the shit out of you.”
“Nothing.”
Reed gives me a light shove in the main room of the Delta Sigma house. “You bagged his sister, didn’t you?”
I spray beer from my mouth and choke. “Madison? Hell no. That’s my buddy’s girl. He just wants me to stay out of trouble.”
“That’s cool, I guess. So what did you do exactly? I mean, we kind of heard a snippet of what went down here and there. But nothing’s like from the horse’s mouth, you know what I mean?”
God. I don’t want to talk about this. Not with him. Not with anyone really. Especially when I spot one of the beer pong jackasses who I beat at the far end of the room.
“I don’t want to talk about it right now, man.”
He nods. “That’s cool. I’m going to go get another beer then talk to my girl. By the way, if you want me to introduce you to any of her sisters, let me know.”
“Nah. I’m good.”
I make my way to a different section of the house. Not really paying attention as I’m walking, I feel something slam straight into my chest. I glance down at a startled, petite blond with large green eyes. “Oh my God! I’m sorry. I just … Oh shit! It’s you. Oh shit! Listen, I’m really, really sorry.”
“It’s cool. I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going. Are you okay?”
“Do you … Listen, I know you’re probably really pissed off, but I swear I didn’t know. I mean, I did kind of, but it was just supposed to be a prank.”
“What was supposed to be a prank? You running into me?” I am so confused. And I’ve only had one beer this entire time.
As we continue to stand in the hallway, awkward silence settles between us. One of us has to crack. Make a move in another direction. Something. She breaks her gaze. “I’m sorry.”
She starts to walk off, but I grab her arm. She pauses. “Why do you keep apologizing?”
She looks around and fidgets. If this chick is coming off a high or something maybe I should help her out. Get her to her room or something. ’Cause she looks like she’s tripping hard.
“Are you stoned or something? Do you need me to help you to your room?”
She laughs. “That’s how this started, right?”
“Excuse me?”
“You really don’t remember me, do you?”
Did I fuck this girl? I don’t know. I don’t think so. But by the way she’s talking, maybe I did. But none of it is making any sense. Why would she apologize for bumping into me?
“Come with me,” she says.
Part of me is saying, Don’t go. This sounds like a terrible idea. The other part is dying for answers. So I follow. For answers.
She leads me up to an empty room and locks the door behind us. “I’m sorry. You have to understand I didn’t know what I was getting into. I lost my job two weeks before my first tuition payment was due.”
“Okay.” I walk over and have a seat on the couch in the corner while she takes a seat on the bed. “What’s this have to do with me?”
“I didn’t know how I could remain on campus. And then during one of the house parties, I told my roommate I didn’t know how I was going to stay in school. Her boyfriend at the time overheard me. He said he’d pay for my entire year if I did something for him.”
I don’t like where this story is going. Especially since it just dawned on me that she’s the girl from the video. She looks a little different without makeup. That’s why it took me a minute to place her.
“He was pissed off at you for showing him up in front of his brothers. Link promised it was just going to be for fun and he’d use it for blackmail. I didn’t think he was going to get you kicked out of school. I swear it.”
I rise from the chair. “How is blackmailing someone any better?” I yell. “What kind of sick person agrees to this?”
“I told you, I was desperate to stay. I didn’t think anyone would get hurt. I thought the most that would happen would be you not being allowed at some of the parties. What would that hurt? I’m sorry, though. It was wrong, okay? And I’m super sorry.”
I shake my head. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t even remember that night.”
“You don’t? You were passed out on the couch when I left. My roommate gave the key to our apartment to Link. Somehow they walked you into my room. You kept saying, ‘This isn’t my room.’ Then you asked them why they led you there. And well, you saw the video, right? I’m so sorry.”
“The night haunted me for months,” I said, “and you’re telling me it was fucking staged! I was in alcoholic classes. I can’t play baseball here. My own mom looks at me with shame. You can say you’re sorry all you want, but your sorry doesn’t change any of that shit. Hope it was worth it!” I stomp out of the room and out of the house.
Chapter Forty-One
Sarah
“You’re going to be there, right?” I ask Kyle for the seventh time.
“Yeah. Yeah. Wait, why are you coming again?”
Ugh. He’s so spacy. “Seriously? I’m coming to visit the campus.”
“Right. Okay. Are you sure that’s the only reason you’re coming?”
I chew on my lower lip. “I need to see him.”
Kyle clears his throat. “Yeah, I don’t think you should go see him. It’s cool if you come stay, but … I think he’s seeing someone.”
“W-what?” My stomach tightens, and I suddenly feel queasy. I grip the side of my desk and hunch over. There is no air. Literally I can’t breathe. It’s like I got kicked by a horse.
“You okay? You sound like you’re winded.”
“Fine,” I manage to get out. “I’m just … a little shocked.”
He makes a noise like he’s sighing but also groaning. It’s awkward. “Hey, I could be wrong. I saw him heading upstairs with a girl at the Delta house party last weekend.”
I lost him. “It’s fine. I’m still coming.”
“All right. Well, I’ll see you in a couple days then.”
I chew on my lip. “If you run into him, don’t tell him I’m going to be there.” Especially if he’s hooking up with other girls.
“I’m not. Hey, I gotta go, though. Girl from the other night is at my door.”
I roll my eyes. “Okay. Have fun.” I hope he can keep it in his pants for one weekend while I’m there. Because I really don’t want to have to sleep in my car or explain to his one-night stand that I’m his cousin not competition. Poor Madison had to do this her junior year. She said she was never visiting Kyle ever again, and she hasn’t. He just laughs about it too.
After we hang up, I dig out the letter and read it again.
***
Is this a mistake? Probably. But as I wait for Kyle to give his number to some dumb floozy outside the union I spot Graham.
Why does he have to look so amazing? Even in a backwards baseball cap, he looks like sex on a stick. I need to get out of here before he spots me. I glance back at Kyle, but he’s too in his own little world to notice me. Well, I’m not going to stand out here in the open for my heart to take a bigger beating than it already has.
I shift and start to march back to the dorms. Kyle will figure it out soon enough, and if he doesn’t, well, I still have my car. When I’m about three minutes away from Kyle’s dorm, I hear, “Sarah?”
I should not turn around. I know this. Just keep walking. But I twist, and everything around me slowly disappears. Well, everything but him.
Graham runs up to me and gives me a funny look. “I almost didn’t recognize you. You changed your hair back. I was getting used to the red. When did you get here?”
“Today.” I sigh. “Did you follow me?”
“No. Yes. Kind of. My dorm is two down from here. What are you doing here?”
I shrug. What was I doing here? I’m not exactly visiting Kyle. The campus? Yes. But let’s be real honest here, a part of me has been dying to see Graham. Probably to get closure. I mean, he is moving on, and I don’t want to hold him back.
He closes the small amount of space between us and brushes his knuckles along my cheek. “Are you not going to answer?” he asks.
I step back. “You have a girlfriend. I don’t think you should be touching me.”
“Um … did I miss something? Last time I checked I’m pretty sure you and I were doing the whole dating thing. Sure, you haven’t talked to me in almost a month, but yeah, I’m certain I made myself clear in that letter. You have to tell me when you’re ready to talk and if this isn’t working, you have to let me know. But I’m here for you. It was in the letter.”
I blink. “Well, even if that was so, Kyle saw you go upstairs with some girl at a party.”
“Jesus. Kyle needs to get his facts straight. Yes, I went upstairs with some girl but not for what he or you think. It was the chick who got me suspended. The one from the video. She explained to me what happened that night. Turns out I was framed. Fucking hilarious, right? Doesn’t matter though. I got the one thing I never thought I’d have again out of this whole messed up ordeal.”
“What’s that?” I ask as he takes a step toward me.
“You. Sarah, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
I smile, and he brushes his lips against mine. “So … you didn’t … ”
“Hook up with someone else? No.”
I can’t help the elation I feel from his words. The relief, the joy, the love—all these emotions balled into one. “I love you, Graham. I’m so sorry for not talking to you sooner. But as much as I want you, I don’t think I can have you right now. Not with you being here and me, well, not.”
“I get it, sunshine.” He pulls me to him and guides me away from Kyle’s dorm. “Come to my dorm. At least until Kyle calls looking for you. I can’t have you standing out here waiting for someone to let you in.”
I nod and let him take me back to his dorm.
***
I swear I have no idea how I ended up naked. Okay. Yes, I do. But while Graham is next to me in a deep slumber, I’m slowly crawling out of his bed.
I don’t know why I feel like I’m doing the walk of shame here. Maybe partly because I am. I mean, this wasn’t supposed to happen. This only complicates the whole distance thing even more. I mean, doesn’t it?
Why do I have this strong urge to crawl back into bed with him, go back to sleep, and wake up next to him? Why, why, why? He’s still going to be here for three more months. And where will I be? Well, two days from now I’ll be back home.
I find my underwear, or what’s left of it, on the floor. They aren’t exactly wearable anymore. I toss them in the trash and write on the notepad on his desk: You owe me new panties, mister!
Commando it is. As I’m pulling on my jeans, his hand shoots out to where my body was on his bed. He pats it down a couple of times and then groans, “Sarah … why are you not in bed?”
“I have to go. Kyle texted me,” I lie.
Graham sits up and studies me. “Come back to bed.”
I shrug on my shirt. “I can’t. I … Graham, we shouldn’t have done this.”
“Because?”
Tears slip from my eyes. “Because I leave in a few days. You’ll be here. We will be in the same position as before. The distance. This damn distance is going to kill me.”
He tears himself from the bed and comes over to me. His body is breathtaking, naked or clothed. This damn boy has my heart in a tailspin.
“Graham,” I whisper.
“Don’t leave like this. Please. Don’t. Come back to bed. We can talk about all the details in the morning. I just need you back in bed with me, sunshine. I’m begging here, babe.”
“You’re not worried about the distance?”
He shakes his head. “Stay right here for a second.” He kisses my forehead and then treks across the room, grabs his boxers, and puts them on. He returns to me and takes a seat at his desk. He pats his lap.
I sit down even though my mind is completely against this.
“Listen, the distance is going to suck. Like really suck. But, babe, I’m willing to do anything for you. If you tell me to piss off, then fine. I’ll do it. Reluctantly, I might add. But I’ll do it. Sarah, I don’t regret what we did or have done. I wouldn’t take back any of it. Even the bad times.”
I nod. “Okay.”
“Not done, sunshine. I love you. And what we have—we’re not done. I don’t think we’ll ever be done.” He strokes my hair as he kisses my temple. “This between us is stronger than distance.”
I rest my head on the crook of his shoulder and whisper, “I’m scared.”
“I am too. But I believe in us. Sarah, I don’t want anyone else. Just you. What do you want, though?”
“You. I only want you. When I thought you were with someone else I just … I couldn’t breathe. I felt sick. The thought of anyone else having you makes me physically ill.”
He smiles. “Same here. So all we have to do is solve this not seeing each other every day problem.”
He grabs his notepad and laughs. “Okay, I should probably invest in a Victoria’s Secret card. I have a feeling I’m going to be owing you a lot of these.”
I pinch his side, and he chuckles even harder. “So here is what I’m thinking. Every two weeks one of us will visit the other. That way we’ll have the physical mess of not seeing each other covered while also leaving time for hard weekends of studying. Cool?”
“That’s fine. But what about in the meantime?”
He kisses my shoulder. “I’m glad you asked. We will Skype like we do with Bryce and Maddy. We will text each other once in the morning and once before we go to bed. And anytime in between, like if one doesn’t
have class and the other does. And we’ll promise not to assume the worst if you haven’t heard from the other immediately. Also, we can call each other.”
“I like it.”
“Now will you please get out of these clothes and come back to bed with me?”
I smile. “I can do that.”
Chapter Forty-Two
Graham
Three months later …
I’m driving back home with my car fully packed to the brim with all my shit. I can’t wait to see Sarah. We’ve talked and done everything we planned that night in February when she visited and tried to bail on me.
I need to stop by my house to unload this crap first. Otherwise we can’t take a trip to the cabin using my car. And trust me, I want to take her to the cabin and do every little thing she texted me the other night. Every. Single. Naughty. Thing.
As I whip into the driveway, I can’t help the full-on smile forming as her ugly blue car comes into view. I throw my car into park and hurry over to her. Her sexy body leans against her trunk. I snatch her up and kiss her neck. “What are you doing here?”
“Waiting for you,” she breathes.
I laugh. “I can see that. Why are you waiting, though? I told you I’d be over.”
“I know. I just needed to see you now.”
I close the space between us. “Is that so?”
She nods. “Want me to help you unpack your things?”
I tuck some strands of hair behind her ear and smile. “If you want.”
We start to walk over to my car, and I notice Mrs. Mayberry is outside pretending to trim her bushes. God, that woman is relentless. I almost shout at her to take a picture because it will last longer. But I don’t. Instead I follow my girl back to my trunk. Sarah puts her hand over mine as I’m about to open it and says, “I lied to you. I didn’t just come over here to see you. I, um … I have some news.”
I raise a brow. “Okay.”
Graham (Scandalous Boys Book 2) Page 19
