by Louise, Kara
She concluded with, “What more is there that I can say to all of you here that would help you get to know my sister Janet perhaps a little better? There was none finer, none sweeter, and none more caring than Janet Barnett Blakely.” Elyssa stopped and looked down, her breathing labored. Stifling the threat of an onslaught of tears, she finished, “I will miss her more than I can bear to imagine.”
Elyssa walked slowly back to her place, her tears falling freely. Sniffling could be heard throughout the church because of the depth of emotion that was evoked through her words.
Will shook himself out of it. He could not allow himself to feel this way. It was now time for him to give Chad’s eulogy and he needed to remain composed and steady. Ever since his mother’s death, he had been taught by his father that it was wrong for a man to display any sort of emotional feeling. When his father died 7 years ago, he had pushed aside all feelings and unflinchingly taken over as president of Pemberleo Coffee, making it one of the premier family owned coffee companies in the world.
He looked down at his notes about Chad. Suddenly he felt foolish. Elyssa had returned to her seat and most everyone had been moved to tears by what she said. Now it was his turn and he knew he would sound cold and unfeeling, just as he always did. Exactly as he wished to be.
He was introduced and walked up to the front. He made a vain attempt to smile at the Blakelys, trying his hardest to avoid Carolyn’s gaze, as he had broken things off with her a little over a year ago. In her grief, she seemed intent on pursuing him again, calling him several nights in a row after they had received word of the deaths, wanting to get together and talk. He knew what that would mean and politely and repeatedly declined.
He looked over to Janet’s family and noticed Elyssa’s head turned down, handkerchief pressed tightly to her eyes, and shoulders shaking violently.
He took in a deep breath, made an attempt to moisten his mouth which had suddenly gone dry, and he began. He talked about Chad in their university years together, how he had been a loyal and good friend; how he had been an excellent employee and, from all he heard, a loving and supportive husband. As he spoke the words he had written, he knew that they were lacking the feeling that Elyssa’s words held. When he was finished, he gratefully and slowly returned to his seat, taking note that most people seemed unstirred.
Elyssa heard every word of his eulogy, although she never once looked up at him. Yes, she thought to herself. Cold and heartless; just doing his duty. Precisely as I imagined. He will never change.
After the service, the Blakely family and the Barnett family gathered in the courtyard of the church and accepted the words of sympathy from everyone as they filed out. Elyssa was counting the minutes before this would all be over.
Feeling as though every word she spoke and every action she took were strictly a mechanical response or a forced effort, she received everyone’s kind words of sympathy, making a concerted effort to smile and show a brave front. She noticed that several people from Pemberleo Coffee were now coming through the line, many of whom she had never met.
Among them were John and Shelley Walker, who worked with Chad and Janet in Guatemala and who could only say wonderful things about them.
There was Bill Collier, the company’s employee relations man and chaplain, who had been the one who had to fly from Chicago to California, bringing the Barnett family the news of the accident.
“Hello, Miss Barnett. Your words about your sister were such a blessing to each person here. Everyone who knew Janet now knows a little more about her and those who did not know her… well… I am sure they wish they had.”
“Thank you, Mr. Collier.”
He nodded and offered a, “God bless you.” He lingered but a moment longer, as if he wanted to say something more, but then moved on.
He was followed by a man who introduced himself as George Westham. He informed the Barnetts that he was a sales person who spent most of the time in Guatemala. He was most charming and cordial to Elyssa. “Miss Barnett, I knew Chad and Janet quite well, and I do not know of any couple more generous or kind than they were.”
“Thank you, Mr. Westham.”
He reached out for Elyssa’s hand and held it firmly in his. “If there is anything I can do to help you through your grief, I would be most happy to offer whatever assistance I can give.”
“You are too kind.”
George Westham reluctantly released her hand and walked on. Elyssa only barely noticed the giggling response Lynette gave him when he approached her and spoke to her.
As Elyssa accepted and released the hand of another kind person who had more thoughtful words of praise for Janet and Chad and sympathy for the family, she turned toward the next person in line and unexpectedly found herself face to face with William Denton.
He extended his hand to her as Elyssa flashed him a darting glare.
“Miss Barnett, I am truly sorry for your great loss.”
She merely looked down at his hand and then back up to meet his eyes with a piercing stare. “Yes, well, perhaps if they had not been forced to move to Guatemala, they would still be here with us today.”
Will tensed and withdrew his hand as Elyssa did not seem inclined to accept it. “Well,” he started awkwardly, “if there is anything we at Pemberleo can do to make it easier for you, let us know.”
“Thank you, but I think we shall manage just fine without any of your assistance.”
Will walked on and gave a simple word of sympathy to the rest of the family and quickly made his exit, avoiding Carolyn, avoiding the large gathering of people, and avoiding Elyssa’s accusatory stare. For some reason that he could not fathom, her censure disconcerted him immensely.
Elyssa took in a faltering breath as the last of the guests moved past her. She looked up and noticed the tall, dark, and meticulously dressed man, who so enraged her, quickly make his exit. His duty was done and all this would now be behind him. She did not think she would ever be able to forgive him.
Chapter 2
Two months later
Elyssa pulled her car over to the curb of her modest home, stopping in front of the mailbox. Scooting over to the passenger side of the car, she opened the window, reached out her arm, and took out the collection of mail that had been delivered that day. As she pulled into the long, cracked, and irregular driveway toward the garage, she flipped through the letters, rolling her eyes at each bill and piece of junk mail that made up the majority of the bundle.
She had just completed her last final in the small college she attended north and inland of Santa Barbara in the Santa Ynez valley. Here the green hills and valleys beckoned her to take walks, ride her bike, or to simply go for long drives of solitude. She looked forward to the three months of summer and more time to do those things she enjoyed.
“Bills… junk mail…” She muttered to herself, shaking her head. It was always the same. She was hoping one of these envelopes contained her final grades. Her eyes widened, however, and her chest unexpectedly tightened around her rapidly beating heart as she looked down at the return address of one very formal looking letter. Her foot unwittingly slammed on the brake and her hands began to shake.
Two months ago she would have excitedly opened a letter bearing the return name Pemberleo Coffee, hoping to hear from her sister, Janet. That changed with Janet and Chad’s deaths; each stark reminder seemed only to reinforce Elyssa’s unrelenting grief and pain.
After a few moments, she lifted her foot from the brake and lightly stepped on the gas. Pulling into the garage, she turned off the motor. Sitting still for several moments just staring at the letter, she attempted to regain her composure. With the death of her father four years ago, and her mother’s instability and unwillingness, Elyssa was the one who had to deal with all the details after her sister’s death. She wondered what information this letter would bring.
Getting out of the car was suddenly an impossible effort. She walked slowly toward the house, keeping her eyes fixed on the let
ter while fingering her set of keys. Upon finding the right one, she opened the door and walked in, dropping all the mail onto her kitchen counter but the one that had her attention.
She slowly walked into her living room and sat down on her overstuffed chair. She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath as she tried to calm herself. No tears. No tears, she commanded herself. I can do this.
She ripped open the envelope to find a neatly typed letter. Glancing quickly to the bottom, she saw the meticulous signature of William Denton, President. This caused another rise of consternation within her as she wondered what it
was he wanted.
Bringing her eyes back up to the top, she began to read the letter.
Dear Miss Barnett
I would like you to know that all of us at Pemberleo Coffee grieve with you in the deaths of your sister, Janet, and her husband, Chad. They were two very warm, caring, and giving people. Chad was not just an employee, but a close friend, as well. Although I cannot claim to feel the loss as deeply as yourself, I grieve for them also.
I wanted to inform you that we have not done anything with their belongings in the townhouse Pemberleo provided for them in Guatemala. If you would like, we could pack up all their belongings and send them to you so you could sort through them at your own leisure. In talking with both of Chad’s sisters, they informed us that there are only a few items they want. We are sending those things to them as they do not wish to go down there to retrieve them. I would not wish to have you make a trip down there if you are not inclined to do so.
Therefore, I am willing to have them shipped to you if you just say the word. However, we would be willing to fly you down there on our private jet, if that would be convenient for you. Please advise me and I will do the best to accommodate your wishes.
Again, my deepest condolences,
William Denton
Elyssa blinked her eyes several times to diminish the tears that were pooling up in them. She knew that having to sort through their things would be an agonizing and difficult task. It was something she had not wanted to think about. She certainly didn’t want them to ship all their belongings to her. She would be more than willing to donate most of their things to some charitable agency in Guatemala that could use them, but she knew there could be some things her sister owned that she would want to keep as a memory. She wouldn’t know what those things were, though, unless she went down there herself.
She walked over to her desk and opened the drawer, pulling out an airline ticket she had purchased just before Janet died. She had planned to fly out on June 30, which was only two weeks away. She reasoned that she might as well go ahead and use the ticket and get this over with. Going through their things would not be easy, but there was really no other way. She would go down to Guatemala.
*~*~*
Back in his office, William Denton was glancing over the end of the month figures and was just about to pick up his phone to call his cousin, Richard, who was Vice-President of Pemberleo, when his secretary, Mrs. Reed, buzzed. “Yes, Mrs. Reed,” he said in a detached way, more from automatic response than interest.
“Miss Elyssa Barnett, Janet Blakely’s sister, is on the line for you.”
Will looked over to the phone. After a slight pause he asked, “Pardon me, but who did you say it is?”
“Elyssa Barnett. She is Janet Blakely’s sister.”
He noticed an increase in the pulsing of his heart and wondered of its root. “Do you know what she wants?” He unwittingly winced when his voice produced a most annoying and uncharacteristic crack.
Without giving any indication that she noticed, Mrs. Reed answered, “She received the letter I wrote for you and is responding, Sir.”
“And what did we say in that letter?”
“You had mentioned that we needed to do something about the Blakelys’ personal things. I wrote to her that we would be willing to ship them to her or, if she preferred, we would fly her down to Guatemala so she could go through the items herself at a suitable time and per her convenience.”
“Hmmm. And, uh, you said it is her sister, Elyssa?”
“Yes, Sir. The one that was closest to Janet and is handling her affairs. The one who gave her eulogy at the funeral.”
Will pursed his lips together, disturbed by the tension he felt just in anticipation of speaking to her. “Mrs. Reed, would you please apologize to her and tell her I’m busy. Just find out what her wishes are and tell her we’ll be more than happy to accommodate them. Would you do that for me?”
“Certainly, Mr. Denton.”
Mrs. Reed hung up from him and picked up the blinking light. Will looked at the speakerphone in silence. He planted his elbows firmly on his desk and brought one hand up to his face, clasping it over his mouth as he eyed the light on the phone line. He knew he was taking the easy way out, but at the moment, he did not feel like dealing with an emotional woman who harbored anger and resentment toward him. Particularly Elyssa Barnett.
Will kept his eye on the telephone and watched until he saw that the light had gone out. He buzzed Mrs. Reed back.
“Yes, Mr. Denton?”
“Did Miss Barnett say what she wanted to do?”
“Yes, Sir. She told me that she had previously purchased an airline ticket a few weeks before Chad and Janet’s deaths that she had planned to use for a visit. She said she would fly out there on her own, using that ticket.”
“Did you tell her we will do everything we can to accommodate her down there?”
“Yes, Sir. I also told her to send us the amount of the ticket and we would reimburse her for it, although she really did not wish to accept any compensation from us.”
“See how much a ticket costs and reimburse her anyway.”
“Yes, Sir.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Reed.”
Will hung up the phone, but quickly called Mrs. Reed back.
“Yes, Mr. Denton?”
“You might want to send her a letter with some advice on what she will need to take down there and what she might expect. Tell her we will have someone pick her up and take her wherever she needs to go and that we will make reservations for her at the hotel if she would rather stay there.”
“Yes, Mr. Denton. Is there anything else?”
“No, I don’t think so.”
“Thank you, Mr. Denton,” Mrs. Reed replied with a curious tilt of her head. He was behaving in a most uncharacteristic way. He was usually so businesslike and precise, getting everything he wanted in one phone call. She looked at the phone and pondered to herself, This is really interesting, indeed!
Will stood up and began pacing around his office. He felt something stirring inside him that he tried to push down into the depths of him. While uncharacteristic of him, it seemed to be a combination of nerves and restlessness. His pacing became more determined and he felt as if he were spiraling out of control. He did not like that feeling at all.
He looked around him at the diplomas adorning the walls, a Bachelors degree in economics and a Masters degree in business. He had always succeeded easily in school, grasping even the most difficult concepts, acing the tests, and impressing his teachers and professors, but he had never really learned how to empathize with his peers.
He was easily considered by everyone to be one of the more popular students because of his looks and athletic abilities, but he was never forced to make any sort of effort in developing and sustaining a friendship.
Reserved by nature and reinforced by the same behaviour in his father, he had always found it difficult to get close to people. Very few people really knew who he was, save for his younger sister, Gina, and his cousin, Richard. Even Chad, who had been a good friend since university days, had not really known him all that deeply. His friendship with Chad had always been based on his friend’s outgoing nature and ability to strike up conversations with just about anyone. That complimented Will’s own lack of natural ability in that area. Chad looked to Will for wisdom and guidance, as he enjoyed lif
e so much he sometimes found it difficult to make a decision if it committed him to something at the expense of something else.
William Denton could talk business and articulate his goals and direction for his company, taking the leadership with a youthful, but mature confidence. He found it difficult, however, to share his deepest feelings. He could be in a room full of people and still feel disconnected and flooded with a sense of loneliness. He wanted something more but had no idea how to go about getting it.
When he broke things off with Carolyn, he had come to the realization that she had simply been happy with the idea of him. She knew little about who he was and really didn’t seem to care. She liked the attention of being with someone who was incredibly wealthy, who was thought to be handsome, and who was well respected. But after a little over a year, he found that the two of them had very little in common and consequently he ended their relationship. She took it hard, but he doubted that she would miss him that much, only those things that came with him.
He had dated very little after that relationship. The magazine that named him one of the top 50 most eligible bachelors without any consideration whether or not he wanted that title, gave him cause to be suspect of any woman who tried to secure his attention and affections. He wondered whether it would ever be possible to enter into a relationship with a woman who was interested in him and not his wealth.
He recalled watching his father when his mother had died. Although he knew his father and mother loved each other deeply, his father barely shed a tear and he admonished his son to bear up under it like a man, even though he was only 15 years old at the time. Ever since then, he had pushed his emotional side down as deep as he could. As a result, he found it difficult dealing with people who were emotional themselves. He now questioned whether that truly was a positive trait.
