“Mostly.” He was actually a fairly good cook, but he only knew how to make a small selection of things. Enough to get by.
She eyed him suspiciously. “Did you get take-away?”
He gave her his best indignant expression, making her giggle as she got into the car. “No. I cooked.”
He got into the driver’s seat and began to drive the short distance to his house. Sara’s nervousness was clear in the way she fidgeted in the seat next to him.
“Relax,” he murmured. “My cooking isn’t that bad. No one has died from it yet.”
That startled a laugh from her. “Sorry. I’m a little on edge.”
“That’s okay,” he said. “We’re just having dinner and talking, that’s all. I’m actually very easy to talk to.”
She smiled at him and settled into the seat. Before long, they were pulling up outside his house. Getting out of the car, he walked around to help Sara out, although she was already out of the car before he got to be a gentleman. Dammit.
He let them into the house and watched as Sara looked around, hoping that she would like what she saw. With any luck, she’d eventually move in with him and then this would be her place too.
“Why is there a big furry rug over by the window?” Sara asked. “There’s no other furniture in that whole area, just a big rug.”
“For sunbathing,” he said. “That’s where the sun hits during the day. Furniture gets in the way.”
She stared at him. “You just lie on a rug on the floor, basking in the sun?”
“Only when it’s cold outside,” he said. “Otherwise, I lie in my hammock outside and bask in the sun.”
“Huh.” She looked around at the walls. “Why do you have so many pictures of yourself? You do realise that most people have pictures of other people, right? Like family.”
He shrugged. “I’m the prettiest member of my family and I have the best hair. Besides, some of the photos have family in them too.”
He waited nervously, waiting to see what Sara thought of his personal space. It mattered to him that she liked it. If she didn’t, he’d change whatever he needed to. He’d done his best to tidy up, but he was not a neat freak. Never had been, probably never would be.
She turned and smiled at him. “I like it. It’s very you.”
He grinned at her. “Hungry?”
“Famished.”
“Dinner should be ready by now,” he told her, leading her into the kitchen and pulling out a chair at the table. She sat down, and he went to the oven, pulling out the lasagne he’d made.
“It smells good,” Sara said, taking a deep breath.
“It will taste good too,” Felix assured her. “Trust me.”
He dished it up and carried the plates to the table, going back for glasses of water and bringing them to the table.
“Water okay?” he asked, handing Sara one glass. “I know you haven’t been drinking alcohol and I don’t have anything else right now.”
“It’s fine,” she said, taking a small sip. “I don’t think alcohol is a good idea while I’m having control issues. I don’t miss it too much.” She grimaced. “It’s giving up caffeine that’s going to kill me.”
He took a bite of his lasagne, noting with satisfaction that Sara was watching him eat.
“I thought you were doing okay with control,” he pointed out. “When you shifted, you didn’t seem to have a problem.”
She chewed, her expression thoughtful. “No, my bear seemed okay, but I’m not ready to pronounce myself cured yet. I almost bit the postman earlier for shoving the mail through the letter box the wrong way and crumpling it. I mean, it’s annoying but probably not something that should get him maimed for life.”
“Probably not,” he agreed. He paused for a moment, unsure how to phrase his next question. “You do seem to have better control… I mean, is it easier around me?”
“Yes,” she answered, her voice quiet. “My bear tends to behave around you.” She wouldn’t meet his eyes, keeping her gaze firmly on her plate. “This is actually pretty good.” She held up a forkful of lasagne.
He snorted. “Now say it without the tone of surprise.”
She grinned ruefully. “Sorry. It really is good. Can you make other things too?”
“A few,” he said. “I’m no chef, but I’ve learned to make my favourite things, and I can always learn to make yours too.”
She blushed a little, not acknowledging his comment. He allowed it for now, letting the conversation drift to inconsequential things, topics that his mate was comfortable with, keeping it light. They ate and chatted, the tension drifting away.
Once finished, Sara stood and lifted her plate to carry it to the kitchen.
“Leave it,” he told her. “I’ll get it later.”
Shrugging, she left the plate and looked at him. “I guess we should talk, huh?” The tension was back.
“Yeah, c’mon,” he stood and held out a hand, relief flooding him when she took it. He led her into the living room and toward the rug by the bay window. It was still sunny, his favourite spot looking nice and cosy.
“The rug?” she asked.
“Yeah, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it,” he told her. “Best spot in the house.”
He sat down and wiggled until he was comfortable, head tipped back against the wall, eyes closed, the sun warm on his face where it streamed through the window.
“Are you purring?” Her voice was incredulous. “Lions don’t purr.”
He shrugged slightly. He liked to purr.
Cracking open one eye, he gestured to the rug. Sara rolled her eyes but sat down, running her hand over the rug.
“This is so soft,” she murmured.
“Isn’t it?” he agreed with a happy little sigh.
She laughed. “You are so easily pleased.”
“Yeah,” he agreed. “That’s not a bad thing. A warm spot and beautiful company, and I’m a happy kitty cat.”
“So,” Sara said, her voice quiet. “About the talking. We should really do that.”
“Absolutely,” he said, closing his eyes again. “Talk away. I’m listening.” He kept his eyes closed, knowing that Sara would be more relaxed if he wasn’t watching her.
“I’m sorry I ran,” she said. Paused. “I got scared and overwhelmed and I just needed to get away.”
“I understand,” he said gently. “It’s okay. I know what happened to you, Sara. You don’t have to explain.”
He heard her sigh. “Felix, I do like you.”
“Good to know, because I’m very fond of you.” More than fond, but he didn’t want to push it.
“It’s just that the whole shifter mates thing keeps pushing me faster than I’m comfortable with. It takes over and then my mind panics. I want to be okay, I want to be with you, but I can’t guarantee that I won’t freak out.”
“Are you attracted to me?” he asked. “I mean, I know I’m pretty and all, but do I turn you on?”
“Yes, of course you do,” came the answer with no hesitation. Good. “I want you more than anything, and I want to get down and dirty with you. I’m just worried that I won’t be able to go through with it.”
“Then we stop,” he said simply. Finally, he opened his eyes to look at her. She was staring at him with such hope, such longing. “We go as far as you want and in your time. No matter what.”
She gave him a tentative smile. “Would you kiss me, Felix?”
“I could be persuaded.” He leaned forward, meeting her halfway, their lips brushing gently. They kissed for a moment before Sara sat back, frowning.
“What?” he asked her.
She sighed. “My polar bear isn’t happy. She likes you, she knows we’re mates, but she thinks you’re too…” She trailed off, wincing. “She thinks you’re too wimpy. Polar bears need strong mates and she’s not convinced that you’re strong enough.”
He raised an eyebrow. “I’m being sensi
tive, but that doesn’t mean I’m not also tough.”
Sara shrugged. “I don’t know what to do, Felix.”
“I do,” he said. There was only one thing for it, one way to prove he was more than just a lazy feline. “Mess up my hair.”
***
Sara stared at him. She must have misheard. Felix sat there, eyes watching her, a resigned expression on his face.
“What?” she asked.
“Mess up my hair,” he repeated, gesturing to his head. “Trust me.”
She continued to watch him. “I don’t understand.” She really didn’t. How was this going to help her polar bear to take him seriously? To persuade the bear that Felix was strong enough to be their mate? As much as her bear liked him, it still thought of Ryan as being a better, stronger mate.
He sighed. “Touch my hair,” he said. “Ruffle it, get it good and messy. Just do it.”
Shrugging, she reached out tentatively, brushing her fingers through his hair. It was so soft, so thick, it really was fabulous hair.
“Messier,” he said with a sigh.
Smirking at him, she rubbed vigorously, sending the strands of his hair everywhere. The effect was instantaneous. She heard the snarl and then before she knew it, she was flat on her back, Felix leaning over her. Within her mind, her bear sat up, taking notice. Her nostrils flared, taking in the scent of her mate, his growls exciting her further. Gone was the usual easy-going Felix, leaving behind the dominant predator. A little shiver snaked through her.
She watched, a little wild-eyed, as Felix lowered his head and captured her lips, kissing her fiercely, passionately. Their tongues entwined, caressing, exploring. Her polar bear was totally on board this time, adding to her arousal. They broke the kiss, both panting a little, and then went back for more, warm lips meshing, kissing anywhere everywhere they could reach. Her arms snaked around his neck, holding him to her. Felix lowered his body on top of hers and she froze like a bucket of cold water had been dumped on her as the memories flooded back. Ryan holding her down and hurting her, the utter helplessness, the terror at the knowledge that she couldn’t stop it. Shudders wracked her whole body, a tear escaping from where her eyes were shut tight. Her grip on his shoulders was rigid, nails digging into him. She couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe.
“Sara? Sara?” a voice called to her. The weight lifted off her, but still she couldn’t move. “Sara. Take a deep breath.”
The words barely penetrated, made no sense. Her polar bear nudged at her mind. This was different, not like before. When she had been assaulted, her bear had raged inside her mind, right up until the mating bond snapped into place, ending its resistance. This time, her bear was calm, accepting. The realisation cleared her mind a little. Her bear was telling her that she was safe.
“Sara, just breathe for me, okay?”
She took a shaky breath, then another, finally able to take a deeper breath. The scent of male lion infused her lungs, and she inhaled slowly, allowing it to calm her. Felix. Her mate. The scent promised safety and affection. It felt like home.
Cracking her eyes open, she saw Felix sitting beside her, not touching her, his gaze worried.
“There you are,” Felix said, sighing. “Are you okay?”
She nodded, pulling herself into a sitting position and wrapping her arms around her legs. Heat flooded her cheeks and she couldn’t make herself look at him.
“Flashback?” he guessed.
She nodded again.
“Look at me, sweetheart,” he said. His voice was soft, reassuring. He still wasn’t touching her, allowing her space.
Pulling herself together, she peeked up at his face, not sure what she would find. He was still watching her, his expression one of concern.
“It’s okay,” he told her. “It’s fine.”
“Sorry,” she whispered.
“Don’t be,” he said with a shrug. “You want a hug? Your choice.” He held out his arms.
She hesitated only for a moment before scrambling into his arms. This was Felix and she knew he would never hurt her. He wrapped his arms around her but kept his hold loose and unthreatening, allowing her to snuggle closer, breathing in more of his wonderful scent. He rubbed his cheek gently over her hair.
“It was when you pinned me down,” she mumbled into him, refusing to lift her head. “Suddenly I was back there again and feeling powerless. I know you’re not him, but…”
“But you just reacted and you couldn’t help it,” Felix ended. “It’s okay, sweetheart. Really. I don’t think any less of you.”
She sighed, allowing herself to relax a little more. “It’s not that I don’t want you,” she explained. “I do, and I feel the pull of mates. I know that it’s inevitable that we… you know… have sex.”
He snorted at her. “No, it’s inevitable that we make love. Not the same thing, sweetheart.”
She smiled, her face still pressed against his chest. “I know it will happen and we can’t hold it off for long, our animals will push us together whether we’re ready or not. Besides, I want it to happen. I don’t want him to break me, Felix. I want my life back, and I want to be able to get close to my mate without freaking out.” She gave a sad little shrug. “I just don’t know how I can do this.”
She felt Felix pull back a little, and then one hand was tipping up her chin, making her face him.
“How we can do this,” he corrected her. “You’re not alone in this, Sara. I will help you any way I can, and I’m not going anywhere.”
She smiled at him. “So what do we do?”
He shrugged at her. “Well, it seems to me that you were fine until I put my weight on you. That’s when you felt trapped and threatened, right?” He waited for her nod. “So, now that your big bad polar bear has seen that I’m not just a fluffy little kitten, I assume I won’t have to continually prove my dominance?”
She thought about it. “Probably not. She’s seen it now, and she knows that you do have a dominant side, even if you don’t display it. I think we’re good on that front.”
“Then, I’m fine with you taking the lead,” he said. “I think that with the mating urge pushing past your reservations, we should be fine as long as you’re in control. Which means I get to lay back and you can ride me like a cowgirl.” He grinned cheekily at her, startling her into a laugh.
“Maybe,” she said. It could work. If he allowed her to be in control of the encounter, she shouldn’t get scared, shouldn’t freeze. It was certainly an intriguing thought, the idea of Felix at her mercy, allowing her to play with him and explore at her leisure.
“How about dinner tomorrow?” he suggested. “At your place, if you like. I can come cook, or we can get take-away.”
“Technically it’s Tara’s place,” she pointed out. “It depends if I can get rid of Tara and Alex for the night.”
“Don’t they live at Alex’s house?”
She snorted. “Yeah, but Alex’s mother is still there, so they spend as much time as possible at Tara’s house. I’ll try to get them to go somewhere else. I mean, I’m not promising anything, but it’d be nice to have some privacy.”
“It would,” he said, dropping a light kiss on her forehead. “No pressure. Whatever happens, or doesn’t happen, it’s all good.”
She felt the smile spread across her face. Her mate was perfect, allowing her the time and space she needed, but still staying close. It wouldn’t be long before she lost her heart to him.
Chapter 10
Felix chatted happily as he cut his client’s hair. He’d noticed a change in dynamic in his shop since he’d met Sara. Before, the women would flirt with him, trying to get his attention, and sometimes his phone number. He’d enjoyed the game, flirting back and making them feel beautiful and special. Not that he’d taken many up on their offers. A few, occasionally, but mostly he drew the line at flirting.
Now he couldn’t even pretend to flirt with them. Not when he had a mate waiting f
or him. No other woman could ever compare to his mate, his true mate. He remained polite, and he was always friendly, but now he tried to steer any attempts at flirting back to a safer topic of conversation. He didn’t miss the pouts that some of his clients aimed at him. Hopefully it wouldn’t affect his business since he was still a genius at hairstyling.
The door jingled as someone walked in. Ah, Mrs Peterson. This would be a challenge. Even at the best of times, he got irritated having to fend off her advances. If his nose hadn’t told him she was a wolf, he’d have suspected she was an octopus shifter. He was forever removing her hands from parts of his body.
“Felix, darling,” the woman practically purred. Since when did wolves purr? “Have you missed me?”
“Of course,” he said, aware that his smile was fake and somewhat strained. “Your visits keep me in business.” It was partially true. The woman did spend a lot of time in his salon.
She laughed at him, shrugging off her coat and hanging it up. “Where do you want me?” she asked, her voice low and dripping with suggestion.
His lion shuddered inside his mind. He hadn’t been tempted even before Sara had turned his world upside-down, and he certainly wasn’t interested now. The very thought of her touching him made him queasy.
“Paula, can you take Mrs Peterson and wash her hair?” he called to the trainee. It was just the two of them today, the other hairdresser he employed, Emma, had taken the day off.
“Awww, Felix,” Mrs Peterson drawled. “You know I only like you to touch me.”
Poor Mr Peterson. Or maybe fortunate Mr Peterson. It depended on how you looked at it. She wasn’t unattractive at all, but her attitude always left him cold.
“I’ll be with you shortly, Mrs Peterson,” he assured her. “Paula can handle washing hair.”
“Yes, Mr McKenzie,” Paula said, leading Mrs Peterson to the sinks.
Felix went back to his own client, finishing up her haircut. Mrs Peterson continued to demand his attention even as she had her hair washed. He felt an enormous sense of relief when he got to switch on the hairdryer, drowning out the woman’s voice.
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