“Caleb?” she says.
“I’m coming,” I hang up, running down the beach like my life depends on it. When I get to the house, the party is packed, spilled out onto the beach. I don’t see Ainsley anywhere, so I call her phone and tell her to meet me at the bottom of the stairs up to the deck.
When she appears, I’m out of breath, frantic and furious. I can see she’s afraid, which makes me afraid.
“I don’t know where she is,” she tells me again. “It’s my fault. We’re not supposed to go anywhere alone, and I ditched her. Why isn’t she picking up?”
“Have you asked any of these people if they’ve seen her?” I can barely hear myself, my blood is rushing so hard in my ears.
“Yes! I’ve been showing them her picture on my phone. No one has seen her.”
“Where is Sunny?” I ask.
“She’s back at the house—” Ainsley starts, eyes cast down. “She was asleep. You can’t wake her up when she’s sleeping like that.”
I can’t believe this is happening. My eyes search the crowd, and I don’t know what to do. “One more look around, and then we call the police.”
Up on the deck of the house, I catch sight of two of the assholes who were in my living room this morning.
“What about them?” I don’t wait for her to answer. I run up the stairs. “Hey!” I shout, pushing one of them on the shoulder.
He stumbles backward and rights himself. “What the hell?”
“Don’t,” I say, sticking a finger in his face. “Where’s your friend. Sterling?”
He sneers. “I have no idea.”
“Where? Where is he?” I grab the dude by his shirt collar, and his friend grabs me by the shoulder. “You need to call him and find out. Now.”
He manages to jerk out of my grasp while his friend pulls me away and pushes me so hard that I fall on my back onto the deck. It hurts like hell, but I don’t care. Ainsley crouches down next to me.
“Are you okay?” she asks.
I stagger to my feet and go after them. “Hey!” I shout. “Where is he?” They look back after me and laugh.
Ainsley grabs my arm. “Caleb, stop. They don’t know. We need to find her.”
“Did you look in the house?” I snap at her.
“Yes.” She’s crying hysterically. “This is my fault. She didn’t want to come, and I made her. Where is she?”
I grab her shoulders and force her to look in my eyes. “Go look again!”
She swallows, nods, and wipes her eyes. “Yes. Yes. Okay.”
I scratch my head, about to lose my mind, and then I see them on the beach. A short girl in silhouette. A big, obnoxious buffoon. Sterling. He’s impossible to miss, the giant ape, and he’s got his arms around the girl, and he’s kissing her.
I bolt down the stairs and sprint across the sand, no plan of what I’m gonna say or do when I get to them. All I know is that I have to stop the kissing.
I run to him and push his side. He’s solid, but I’ve got enough anger in me that I know I can take him down. He grunts and turns. “What the fuck? What the hell do you want, donut freak?”
I don’t give a damn what he’s saying. I reach out for the hand of the girl in his arms. “Let’s go, Catie.”
“Who are you?” the girl says.
Not Catie.
The world goes quiet.
I take a step back. Sterling looks like he’s about to hit me. But I don’t care. “Where is Catie?” If she’s not with him, where the hell is she?
“What the fuck is wrong with you, dude?” he says, stumbling around like a drunken idiot.
“Where is Catie!” I yell so loud I’m pretty sure I’m gonna spontaneously combust. Or have a stroke. Whatever it is, something inside of me snaps, and before I know what’s happening, Sterling is flat on the sand, and I’m on top of him, shouting.
“Where is she?” I pull back my fist, about to pound his face.
“Caleb?” I hear my name, and I feel hands on my shoulders. I push up onto my feet, staggering backward, away from the fallen giant. She’s in front of me, holding my arm. It’s her. I reach out and pull Catie into my arms and hold her tight. I keep thinking I should let go, but I can’t seem to. I’ve never been so happy in my life.
Chapter Twelve
Catie
When he lets go of me, he swipes at his eyes. Oh no.
“You’re okay?” his voice is full of intensity and fear. “Are you hurt?”
I stumble on some uneven sand, the remnant of some kid’s castle, probably. “No. Yes. Caleb. I’m fine. Of course.”
“Where were you?”
I scratch my head. “Ainsley—you and Josh were making out. I wasn’t gonna sit around and watch. There were tons of people hanging out with you guys.”
“You didn’t answer your phone!” he shouts. Ainsley is there. I can see she’s been crying.
They’re both completely shaken, which makes me feel awful. These were my rules. “I forgot to take it off do not disturb when we left the house. I was going to come back and check on you, but I’m so tired and my sunburn kills and I fell asleep. I’m sorry.” I stare at both of them and watch behind Caleb as Sterling struggles to his feet. Yeah, he’s drunk, but he’s also really pissed off.
“Come on, let’s go,” I say.
I wave Caleb on, but he doesn’t move. “Why did you come here?” he asks, breathless. “Did you come here for him?”
“What? No!” I tug at Caleb as Sterling jerks toward him, Frankenstein-style. “Come on,” I say. “Now!”
“I’m gonna fuck you up so bad…” Sterling growls.
“Come on.” I walk away, fast, toward the golf cart and finally, Caleb follows.
When we get there he holds out a hand. “Keys.” That’s all he says, and he’s freaking me out. I can’t tell what he’s thinking. I can’t tell if he’s upset or glad I’m okay or so pissed off at me he can’t see straight. It’s scary.
Ainsley gets in the back, then turns and sticks her face between us. “You had us so scared, Catie,” she says. “Didn’t she, Caleb?”
He grips the steering wheel and stares straight ahead as he drives us home.
“It’s okay, Ains. I’m fine.” I pat her hand. “Turn around and hold on,” I say, glancing at Caleb out of the corner of my eye. He’s driving this golf cart like he just robbed a bank and is trying to outrun the cops, but I don’t say anything. I hold on, too.
When we get back, he still hasn’t said a word.
Ainsley takes my hand as we walk under the house. “Thanks for coming with me, sister.”
I squeeze her hand back. “Sure. Give us a minute, okay?”
She looks over her shoulder to Caleb, and then she sprints up the stairs. I heave a deep sigh. She’s a good person, just a little wild.
I stop at the bottom step and turn around to face him as he moves toward me. He’s mad. I know this, but even in the dark underneath of the house, a single light fixture casting shadows around us, I see more than that. I tell myself not to notice the way he moves, with authority and purpose, like a player taking the field, or the width of his shoulders and the strength in his arms. I tell myself to forget the way they felt around me when we danced at that party, and when they held me on the waterslide, and back on the beach, when he thought something had happened to me and he hugged me like he needed proof I was really there.
I know I need to move up the stairs, go to my bed, get some sleep, but something keeps me glued in place. I don’t think it’s friendship.
He moves to walk around me. I lift my hand and touch his chest, to stop him. The touch makes my breath catch in my throat.
“Caleb, wait. Stop. Let me explain.”
“Why?” he says. “I don’t care. You can go wherever you want.” He pushes against my hand, trying to pass. “I’m tired, Catie. Let me go.”
I clear my throat and at the same time try to clear my mind. “No.”
“No?”
“Yes. No.” I stare
hard at him, desperate to make him understand. “I’m sorry, Caleb. She wanted to see that guy again before they leave, and I couldn’t let her go alone. And I didn’t think you needed to know. I didn’t want to fight with you, not after today.” His expression isn’t changing, but I’m determined to convince him. “It was such a good day. I’m sorry.”
He is inches away from me.
“You scared the hell out of me,” he says, his eyes all scrunched together like they’d get when we were kids and he was hurt or upset. I recognize that look better than anyone.
I want to say something, because that’s what I do. I talk. But he’s looking into me, and I’m staring at him, and I can’t think of a single word. All I want to do is… I blink. He blinks. He reaches up and touches my hair, pushes a strand back behind my ear, and then I swallow so loudly the sound seems to echo. His finger moves down the side of my face, touches my chin, moves to my lips.
Neither of us says a word.
This moment hangs between us like a peach so ripe on a branch, just about to drop. But then—
Mo runs down the stairs, barking us a greeting and ending the moment.
“Sorry!” Ainsley calls from above.
Caleb snaps out of it instantly, whatever it is, and steps back with a grunt. “That girl is a pain in the ass,” he says and backs away. “Come on, boy,” he calls to his dog.
As for me, it takes a while before I can move again. All the nerves in my body seem to have merged into one, leaving me frozen. Except I’m not cold. I am warm all over.
When I finally climb the stairs, I stop on the deck and stare out at the water. There he is, I can see him in the moonlight, on the beach with Mo. He’s got his back to the house, facing the Gulf, arms crossed. I used to be able to read his mind. He didn’t like that.
Now I’m afraid I’m reading his mind again and finding out that despite all these flirty vibes that I think are coming off of him, he still doesn’t like me. And I find, when I search my own thoughts, that I want him to. I really want him to.
Which is stupid. I can’t make someone like me. I didn’t come here for this. I came here for me.
I go inside the house where there’s no sign of Ainsley. When I go into the bedroom, she’s in the bathroom, and I slide right into my bed. Sunny’s head pops up beside me. In the dark, her amazing hair puffs out like a shadowy cloud.
“You gonna tell me what the hell is going on?” she asks.
I squeeze my eyes shut. “I honestly have no idea.” But it feels an awful lot like orbits colliding.
Chapter Thirteen
Caleb
When I wake up on the deck chair in the morning, the sun is rising over the Gulf, and the colors it casts on the water are a beautiful thing to see. I came out here last night—couldn’t sleep—and I have to admit, part of me was hoping she’d have trouble sleeping, too. I was hoping I could actually finish what I started at the bottom of those stairs.
Mo stirs and is in my face, licking. He barks once.
All I know is that when she appeared on that beach last night, when my brain processed the fact that she was not the one kissing Sterling, everything, for that split second, was completely clear.
I want to kiss Catie. Little Catie Dixon, who was always my shadow, until I kicked her to the curb. I wanted to put my mouth on hers and kiss her like I’ve never kissed anyone, in a way that she wouldn’t soon forget. That feeling lasted all the way back to the house. At the bottom of the stairs, I was going to do it, until Ainsley let Mo out and ruined everything.
Am I stupid to think she might want the same thing? Why would she? I’ve been telling her to leave me alone for as long as I can remember.
I stand up and stretch. “It’s better this way,” I tell Mo, who barks low, like he’s calling bullshit.
Is it? Better? I don’t even know. I haven’t dated anyone in a while despite the best efforts of my teammates back home, and I’m not positive I recognize the signals anymore. I could be reading this all wrong.
Plus, Catie Dixon is not just anyone. She’s Catie. If we kiss—and have what, a fling?—and things go south after that, which they probably will because they always do in my experience, the fallout will be hellish. Is it worth the risk?
Maybe I should just keep on ignoring her like I’ve done all these years. She’d been following me around, asking me endless questions for so long. Then junior year, when she stopped me in the hall and told me what she’d heard about my homecoming date—I’d had it. That was the straw that broke my back, and I was a total dick to her. I know I hurt her feelings. I could see it in her eyes that day, but she’s done fine since then. Got off the braces and grew up and was popular and dated and I just had to watch it all happen while pretending I didn’t care.
Man, it was excruciating, and do I really want more of that?
No. We said we’d be friends. I need to be content with that and stop thinking of all the things I’d like to be doing with her, make it through the rest of this week without any more awkward swim-trunk moments, and walk away.
Easy.
Mo barks again. Dog thinks he knows everything, which he probably does. He knows, just like I do, that nothing about these next few days is gonna be easy.
“Hey,” I tell him, scratching under his chin. “Help me out here.” He barks in response, and we go in the house.
“Hey,” Ainsley says from the kitchen, where she’s holding a coffee mug.
“You’re up early,” I say, glad for it. Ainsley’s not my favorite person, but I’m not sure I’m ready to face Catie alone. I touched her face. My finger brushed her lips. I wouldn’t mind someone to talk to. The round and round that’s going on in my mind is getting old. I grab a mug and pour myself a cup.
“You still mad?” she asks.
“No,” I say, and I’m mostly telling the truth. “Everyone still asleep?”
Ainsley leans against the countertop. “If you mean Catie, yes, she’s still asleep.”
I pour some cream in my coffee. “I mean Catie and Sunny. Both of them.”
She’s silent for once, and when I finally glance up at her, she’s staring at me with a knowing smile.
“Come on, Caleb.”
“What?” I ask.
“You mean Catie more than you mean Sunny.”
I’m not gonna lie, so I don’t answer. “What’s your point, Ainsley?”
“Look.” She crosses her arms. “I don’t know you well, but I know my girl. And I think you’d be good for her. I think maybe you should go for it.”
The sip of coffee I just took almost makes its way out of my nose. “Oh I should, should I?” I say quietly, in case Catie’s stirring. She doesn’t need to overhear any of this.
“Why not?” Ainsley continues. One of her eyebrows lifts high, like she’s sizing me up. She cradles her cup and takes another sip. “You know I haven’t been a fan of yours since Catie and I became friends. I never could figure out why you treated her like she was gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe. But now I think I know.”
Now it’s my turn to size her up. “Why’s that?”
She smirks. “I think you like her. Maybe you’ve always liked her.”
I snort, trying to figure out what to say next, because that’s ridiculous.
Ainsley presses her lips together. “I could be wrong, but it doesn’t really matter. What matters is now. And I don’t think you’re all that bad. Not anymore. I actually think you’re a pretty good guy. Maybe you’re even worthy of a girl like her.”
I put my cup down on the counter. “Maybe?”
Ainsley shrugs. I get the feeling this girl doesn’t get serious often, that this is a rare event. “We’ll see.” She takes a step toward me, then another. “She’s the best person I know, and I love her like she’s my sister. So if you hurt her, I’ll kick your ass.”
I clamp my mouth shut. I have no idea what to say to that, but she doesn’t give me time to answer anyway.
“I’m gonna go and pack,” she says
, “so you two can have some peace and quiet.”
She walks out and I’m left standing there with Mo. He barks again, ready to go back to the beach. If only humans could communicate like dogs. You want me to kiss you, bark once. You want me to back away, twice is good. Not that I think of Catie as a dog.
I honestly don’t know what I think. “Come on,” I say to Mo, clipping on his leash, slipping on my flip-flops, and heading outside with my coffee. When we get down to the beach, we head south, opposite of that party last night.
She scared me so bad.
I breathe deep and try to clear my mind. I came here to wrap my brain around going to college, not to fall for Catie Dixon, who is leaving at the end of the week, and who I won’t likely see for a very long time after that.
Kissing her is a bad idea, Gray!
It wouldn’t end well. She’ll be swamped with senior year. I’ll be busy at school. Unless my parents make some holiday plans with her family, it might be a year before I see her again, or more.
That’s the way it’s going to be, and like going to Central and getting a degree in business, I gotta get on board with that.
“Hey there!” a voice calls from up the beach.
Its Professor Jackson from the other day. Today he’s wearing an Astros hat and a beat-up T-shirt, walking toward me, his dog on a leash. Mo barks in greeting, and Otis barks back.
“Hey, Dr. Jackson.” I hold out my hand to shake his. “Good to see you again.”
“Likewise, Caleb.”
“Thanks for emailing me back,” I say.
“Absolutely no problem. And this is Mo, isn’t that right?” he asks as Otis sniffs Mo’s butt.
Maybe communicating like dogs isn’t always ideal.
“Yes, sir,” I say.
“Hey, look,” he says, “I hope I didn’t scare you with my enthusiasm.” He scratches his beard. “This kind of work is important, but I know I can be a bit much.” He chuckles and bends down to pet his dog. “For me it’s sort of become an obsession. Just ask my students. And my wife.”
Stuck With You (First Kiss Hypothesis) Page 10
