by J. M. Madden
“Well, it was nice talking to you,” she whispered, wounded all over again. Gathering her shredded confidence, she turned for the break room. She asked one of the other nurses to assist with George and waited until she knew for a fact they were gone.
***
“She’s moving.”
Matt almost wrecked the truck as he whipped his head to George. “What?”
“Packing tonight, she said.”
“Gina? What about her job? And the boy?”
The old man shrugged and looked out the windshield.
Matt clamped his hands on the wheel and fought not to throw up. She hadn’t said anything to him at the office. Well, of course not. You were a total asshole to her. But if he meant anything to her, shouldn’t she have at least mentioned it?
Matt pulled up in his driveway and walked George across to his own house, still tossing the question around in his mind. Letting himself into his garage, he snatched up a long piece of rough plank wood and went to the planer, running it through the machine. What did he expect her to do? Wait around for him until he thought he might be okay to be with her? Before he’d walked into the office earlier, he’d worried that he would hear about whoever she was dating this week. He certainly didn’t expect to be broadsided by her leaving. The thought of never seeing her again brought damnable tears to his eyes. She was the first honestly good thing he’d ever allowed into his life.
Doubt nagged at him. Maybe George had heard her incorrectly. Maybe she was helping a friend pack or something. Indecision whittled at his mind. He could drive over there and talk to her and put all these questions to rest. But what right did he have to even question her? If she wanted to move away, he couldn’t do anything about it. He’d given up that right when he’d turned his back, literally, on her love.
For a couple of hours he wavered back and forth. A nasty, inch long splinter in his hand forced him away from the workshop and gave him the perfect excuse to go to her. Hopping into the truck and heading to her house, he debated what he would say. If she was moving, maybe he could… his mind shut down. The thought of her leaving hollowed out his gut. For four years she’d been a vital part of his life, whether she knew it or not. He simply couldn’t imagine her not being there.
The stack of mismatched cardboard boxes stacked on her porch told him he was going to have to find out what it would be like without her.
Parking in Gina’s driveway, he turned off the truck and just sat there, unable to believe she was leaving him. After everything she’d told him, and done for him, she was leaving. He shook his head as pain tore through him. Then anger. Every word she’d spoken had to have been a line. The entire time he’d been with her, she’d been playing him. That was the only explanation. If she did love him, surely she’d stay as close as she could, right? And wait for him to admit he cared for her?
Not even understanding what he was doing, he slammed out of the truck and jogged across the sidewalk. He leapt the stairs like they weren’t even there and pounded his fist against her front door. Gina answered almost immediately. Her expression turned guarded when she saw him and he hated that he had dimmed her spirit that way. “Why didn’t you tell me you were moving?” he demanded. “In the office, why didn’t you tell me?”
Confusion creased her brow, and her mouth fell open. “What?”
He motioned to the boxes angrily. “Why didn’t you tell me you were leaving? Thirteen days ago, you told me you loved me, and now you can’t wait to get away from me. Why the hell did you tell me you loved me? Was it a game to you, showing me what I could have and then tearing it away?”
The confusion cleared and anger took its place. She folded her arms across her breasts. “I didn’t tear it away. You were the one who left me, remember? I told you I loved you and you walked away. During one of the most traumatic nights of my life, I might add.”
But he wasn’t listening to reason.
“If you change your mind that easily, maybe it’s best that you do leave.”
She reared back as if he had slapped her, and Matt felt like the lowest kind of snake. Tears filled her blue eyes, and she swiped them away angrily. She stared at him for a long moment, then stepped back and shut the door quietly in his face.
“You’re just plain stupid!”
Matt turned from the door reluctantly. Gabe stood at the base of the porch steps, arms wrapped around a cardboard box. Anger twisted his young face. “Why did you tell her that? She’s always nice to you and stands up for you even when you aren’t around. If she told you she loves you, then she means it.”
The boy stomped up the stairs and dropped the box next to the rest on the porch. “She’s not the one moving. I am. The court said I can live with her, and she’s going to adopt me. We’ve been moving my stuff over from Chuck’s house.”
Matt felt the world shift on its axis. She wasn’t leaving? But George had said…what needed to be said to get him over here. And now he’d made her cry. Because of his own insecurity. The one person he cherished most in the world, and he kept hurting her. He dropped down to the top step of the porch and put his head in his hands, scrubbing his eyes furiously. What a fucking idiot.
A gentle hand on his shoulder drew his attention.
“Gina doesn’t stay mad very long. If you apologize to her, I bet she’ll forgive you for what you said.”
Matt wasn’t so sure. All he’d done ever done was hurt her. How could she still love him?
Gabe stood beside him, hand still on his shoulder.
“I don’t know, Gabe. I was pretty mean. I’ve never been in a situation like this. Not sure what to think. Or do.”
Nodding his head, the boy settled on the step beside him. “Neither have I, but if I can be anywhere in the world, it would be with Gina. I promised her I would keep my room clean and everything if she would take me in, but she said I only needed to love her.”
Matt’s stomach turned. Was this desperate, frantic feeling actually love? Or obsession? He didn’t have the slightest idea. It wasn’t something he’d ever dealt with before. It was like he was standing on a cliff and either way he jumped promised pain beyond what he could imagine.
“You need to go tell her you’re sorry,” Gabe told him, arms folded.
“I know.”
But did he have the guts to see the condemnation in her eyes? He wavered for several minutes before he finally got frustrated with himself. Might as well get it over with.
The front door was unlocked, so he walked through. She probably wouldn’t have voluntarily let him in, but he chose to remember her last directive, when he had been allowed to enter as he pleased.
Gina wasn’t in the living room or the kitchen. Matt ran his hands over the re-built banister and climbed the steps to the second floor. Gina was in her bedroom, sitting in the chair on the far side of the room. She stared out the window, but he didn’t think she actually saw anything. Her face was blotchy with tears, but Matt still thought she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.
“If you’re just going to be nasty, you can head right back down those stairs.”
“I’m not going to be nasty,” he sighed. “I’m going to apologize.”
She glanced at him from beneath her curly hair and crossed her arms over her t-shirt. He walked close enough to kneel in front of her but didn’t touch her. “I’m floundering in deep water here, Gina. Everything about this situation is new to me, and it scares the shit out of me. I don’t know what to think from one minute to the next.
“Gabe told me he was the one moving over here. I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions.”
She continued to stare out the window and avoid his gaze. Matt began to panic. “Gina, I don’t want to lose you, but I’m not sure how to keep you. Do you know what I mean? I don’t know what to do to make you happy.”
Finally, she glanced at him, tears filling her eyes again. “You just have to be with me, Matt. You may not understand it, but just being close to you, and talking to you, and making l
ove to you makes me extremely happy. You are a wonderful man, whether you see it or not.”
He looked down at his boot, but the damn thing was blurry. He swiped at his eyes, but it didn’t clear up.
Gina’s heart broke at the confusion she saw in Matt’s eyes. She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around his head, knocking his ball cap to the floor. She pressed gentle kisses from the crown of his head all the way down the side of his neck. “I understand why you left. You were defensive about what you did to Chuck, and you expected me to jump all over you. So you removed yourself from the situation before you were hurt. But I’ll tell you a secret.” She leaned down enough to look in his eyes. “If I could have done that to Chuck, I would have. You protecting us doesn’t mean you have a monster inside of you that’s going to lash out and hurt me. It means you’re human.”
Matt shook his head. “You don’t understand how much I enjoyed it, though. It was the best feeling to let my anger out on him.”
Gina nodded. “I’m sure it was. And I’m sure you probably envisioned Chuck as your dad and imagined beating the crap out of him like he did you all those years.”
A stunned look settled on his face and Gina wondered if he’d ever talked these things out with a counselor. Most assuredly not.
“Matt, I love you. Those aren’t just words. It’s a commitment that I will support you in whatever you want to do, or be, or whatever. If you want to paint your house neon green and line the sidewalk with carpet, I’ll be right there beside you. If you want to run for state senator, I’ll be beside you. Love doesn’t stop just because the other person has hang-ups, or issues, or reservations. We can go as slow as you want to go. If you want to be friends right now, I’ll try to be good with that. If you want to move into my house and start planning a future together, I’m good with that too. Although you’re kind of getting a ready-made family with Gabe moving in.” She grinned at him and rested her hand on his face. “I’ll take anything you’re willing to give.”
Oh, so gently, she pressed her lips to his, afraid he would pull away. But he didn’t. Instead he wrapped his arms around her and lifted her up from the chair, holding her high off the floor. Gina tried to keep her breath as he squeezed her tight and buried his lips against her neck.
“I think I love you,” he whispered.
Her heart stalled in her chest, then started to race. Tears flooded her eyes and rolled down her cheeks and she tightened her own arms around his neck. She knew that was probably the first time he’d ever said those words, and she branded them on her mind. And heart.
“So, is he moving in too?”
They both laughed and pulled apart to look at Gabe standing in the doorway.
“Well,” she hedged, “not right now. Hopefully he’ll be around a lot, though.”
Gabe nodded like it was a done deal and continued on to his room.
Matt set her on her feet and cupped her face. “If you’re sure you want to take a chance on me, I guarantee you I will be around. And I’ll do everything I can to deserve your love.”
He wrapped his heavy arms around her, and Gina knew it was where she was meant to be.
From J.M. Madden
I sincerely thank you for reading A Needful Heart, and would greatly appreciate it if you would help others enjoy this book as well. You can:
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About The Author
Terminally addicted to romances, thanks to finding her aunt's stash of 'Harlequin Presents' years ago during a sleepover, Jennifer loves any and all good love stories. Most particularly her own. She has two beautiful children and a husband who always keeps her on her toes.
Jennifer was a Deputy Sheriff in Ohio for nine years, until hubby moved the clan to Kentucky. When not chasing the family around, she's at the computer reading and writing, trying to perfect her craft. She occasionally takes breaks to feed her animal horde, and is trying to control her office-supply addiction, but both tasks are uphill battles. Happily, she is unemployed right now, so it's given her a chance to seriously jump into writing full-time. She has several projects in the works and loves to hear from readers.
Other Books by J.M.
The Awakening Society: Book 1
Wet Dream- (Part of the 1NightStand Series)
Urban Moon - anthology
Second Time Around
Book 2 of The Awakening Society - Coming Soon!
Bonus Excerpt
Wet Dream
For the first time in four years, awareness flowed through his body at the sight of a woman. Her gaze scanned his face then drifted down his rangy body, settling on the scars on his neck, and he waited for an expression of disgust to materialize. God, how could he have forgotten? His heart clenched and his breath paused in his lungs. But it didn’t happen. Instead, her painted red mouth broadened into a full smile.
“Hello,” she said.
Cock hardening instantly, he struggled to remember their surroundings. They were in the Castillo bar, not in his suite. Her voice was surprisingly smoky, and he wondered if it was that way naturally or as a result of the alcohol. Either way, he wanted to hear more. She personified sex, and his damaged body wanted to participate. His cheeks heated as he remembered the dog-eared security manual lying on the floor beside his bed, open to her ad.
How mortifying to be staring into the face of his wet dream. Literally. The pose in the magazine was professional in the extreme. She wore a plain black suit with a narrow skirt, her hair rolled up in a bun. Something about the look in her eyes, though, made him think sex.
She blinked up at him, quirking a dark brow in question. Her expression gentled as heat washed over his cheeks. He was relieved when the drink suddenly became fascinating to her. “Sorry,” she whispered.
Ridiculous. Thirty-eight years old and an attractive, intuitive woman could knock him off guard. It never used to be that way; years ago, he did the flustering, and he had never gone without female companionship for any length of time. Until the accident that blew his world apart. Four years after his return from Iraq, his confidence with the opposite sex had pretty much tanked.
Concentrating, forcing himself to be personable, he held his hand out. She didn’t hesitate to clasp it strongly. Intrigued in spite of himself, heat surged up his arm from the point of contact. “Cameron.”
The woman smiled sweetly and gave his hand an extra shake. If she noticed the warmth, she didn’t give any indication. “Ginger.”
A thrill went through him as she confirmed her identity. One of the most photographed and recognizable forces in the security world, she had officially retired from the FBI years before. High-end corporate issues were her forte now. A couple of years ago she had made the papers for rescuing the four-year old daughter of a Fortune 500 CEO. He’d snipped the piece and pored over it repeatedly during his months of recovery. When he’d finally been released from the hospital, he’d tucked the threadbare clipping in his underwear drawer.
“Ginger,” he asked, “mind if I sit with you a minute?”
Interest lightened her unique hazel eyes, and his ego thumped. Didn’t his appearance bother her? If she was interested, he would seriously try to work up the balls to acknowledge it.
Available Now!
Table of Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Thank You
About The Author
Other Book
s by J.M. Madden
Bonus Excerpt - Wet Dream
