by Aileen Fish
He walked slowly toward her. “She is well, and she enjoys the company of her nursemaid.” He stopped in front of her. “I didn’t come on a casual call, Hannah. After what happened a few nights past, we must consider the repercussions.”
“Yes. Mama and I are leaving tomorrow. I will miss Louisa. You’ll bring her the next time you come to Bridgethorpe?” Her biggest regret about leaving Town was not seeing the girl grow.
“I rather hoped you’d want to spend more time than that with her. With me.”
His face softened in a way she’d never seen before. Hannah’s curiosity grew.
“We’ve always gotten on well together. You know I care deeply for you.” He looked down at his boots. “I’m not doing this well. I’ve never been in this situation before.”
“Laurence, what are you saying?”
“I love you,” he blurted out. “At first I thought I was merely jealous of another man spending his life with you, but I was wrong. I can’t imagine my life without you. Please say you’ll do me the honor of becoming my wife.”
Her heart squeezed almost painfully. The words she’d so longed to hear just days ago. It didn’t matter how much she enjoyed Laurence’s company, she couldn’t let him throw his life away because of her mistake. “Laurence,” she said gently. “What happened between Lord Downham and myself was not your fault. You don’t have to do this.”
“I’m not acting out of honor. You know me better than that. I mean what I say. I want to marry you Hannah. Not to have a mother for Louisa. Not to save your reputation. Simply because I wish to share every day with you.”
He looked so earnest, but she knew him too well to believe it. “I don’t know how you convinced Knightwick to allow you to speak to me. I’m honored that you would offer to help me in this way, but I cannot accept your offer. You have done your duty and can free yourself of concern over my wellbeing now.”
His fists clenched. “You’re mistaken, Hannah. Either you misunderstand me, or you have no desire to marry me and are allowing me to retain my dignity. I will trouble you no longer. Do not be surprised if the next time you see me I ask you again. I want you for my wife, Hannah. I will love you whether we marry or not.”
He spun on his heel and strode out of the room without saying good-bye.
Chapter Ten
By mid July, Hannah’s misery hadn’t lifted. She’d spend some weeks with Jane and Cousin Stephen, helping to care for their infant son. Of course, the child had a nursemaid and Jane was perfectly healthy, but there was some sort of magic than enveloped Hannah with she held that tiny boy in her arms.
The skin on the back of his hands was like warm silk. His lips puckered in a little bow while he slept, as though he nursed in his sleep. He was a quiet baby, so good-natured and quick to smile.
She felt she should return home, however, before she overstayed her welcome. Stephen and Jane likely wished to have time alone with just their child, enjoying their small family.
Amelia wrote that she would marry in August at her fiancé’s country estate. She suggested Hannah come in the fall to see her new home. That would prove a pleasant distraction, Hannah was certain.
The only concern was what to do in the months between now and that visit.
It didn’t matter that she always spent summers at Bridgethorpe Manor. Her sisters were good company, and Mama let them bathe in the pond some days, since all Hannah’s brothers lived elsewhere now.
Inside her coursed a restlessness she couldn’t release no matter how much she tried. Like the itch on her skin from an insect bite that could not be relieved, this inner itch was driving her mad. She walked to the village almost daily in search of a new book from the small library her father had sponsored. Rebecca, Cousin Neal’s wife, was home visiting her father and on several of Hannah’s visits to the village, she stopped by the vicarage to see her.
“Hannah, how good to see you,” Rebecca said when Hannah called for the third time that week. “Come inside, it’s awfully warm out.”
“It is warm. I hadn’t realized how much so when I left home.” Hannah removed her bonnet and gloves in search of comfort.
“Let me fetch some lemonade. I’ll join you in the drawing room in just a moment. Please make yourself comfortable.”
She’d known Rebecca all her life, but since the girl was four years older than Hannah, they’d only become close when Hannah had turned fourteen. Rebecca had married Neal the previous year and they’d moved to a home Neal bought. As hard as it’d been for Hannah to say good-bye to her friend, she was beyond excited that Rebecca had found love.
Rebecca carried in two glasses of lemonade. “Here we are. This will help put you to rights.” After handing one to Hannah, she took her place in the worn, comfortable chair by the window. “How are your sisters? Any news to pass on?”
“So little happens, I’m bored silly. What did we used to do to pass our time in the heat of summer?”
“Surely it’s not as bad as all that.”
“I imagine not.” Hannah took a sip of the sweet yet tart drink.
“You’ve told me what led to your departing London before most of the others went to their country homes. Is that all that’s bothering you? Having spoken of it should make you more comfortable, so there must be something you’re hiding.”
“Not hiding, exactly. You’re too dear to me to do so. I didn’t tell you the entire story. You see, after embarrassing myself so horribly at Vauxhall, my brothers’ friend Lord Oakhurst‑you knew him as Mr. Pierce‑asked me to marry him.”
“I recall him being so very pleasant company. Why didn’t you accept his offer? You obviously didn’t hate the idea of leaving home, with as unhappy as you are to be here now.”
Hannah took the end of the ribbon tied around her waist and slipped it through her fingers. “I fear he proposed out of feelings of guilt. He’s so protective of me. He felt he’d let my family down by not preventing Downham from kissing me.”
“I can believe that of him. He used to keep your brothers from teasing you quite often when you were little.”
“He did, didn’t he? He’s my personal Lancelot, I imagine.”
Rebecca raised an eyebrow. “Or is he King Arthur, the faithful, strong and loving husband? Lancelot coveted a woman who wasn’t free to come to him. Lord Oakhurst would never do such a thing.”
Laughing, Hannah said, “You always manage to turn stories into parables. Regardless which character I liken him to it doesn’t change the fact that, had Downham not compromised me, Laurence wouldn’t have proposed.”
“I wonder…”
“You can wonder all you care to, but since he’s already done so, it’s pointless.”
Rebecca swirled the remaining liquid in her glass, watching the movement. “I take it from your lack of excitement, not to mention the fact you neglected to tell me about the proposal until now, you turned him down.”
“Yes. I don’t want a husband who isn’t in love with me. Madly, passionately in love with me. I see no other way for a happy life together.”
“You’ll find your perfect man. I’m certain of it. Perhaps you’ll meet someone passing through the village here, just like I met Neal.”
“I don’t think I want a different husband. As much as I keep insisting I’m not marrying, I spend an excess of time thinking of Laurence.”
“He’s quite handsome. I see no reason to stop mentioning him at every turn.”
Hannah laughed again. “You are so good for me. I just hope I can find someone I could love as well as I did Laurence. It’s a lot to ask for, but stranger things have been done.
~*~
Laurence’s day became so much brighter when he drew near Bridgethorpe Manor late one afternoon in August. Louisa slept on the opposite bench, her head in her nursemaid’s lap. The puppy lay on the other side of the bench, also sleeping.
He was too restless to sleep. He hadn’t slept well since they’d left Town. This visit was the first since David and Joanna’s w
edding the year before. With David living in Newcastle, there was no reason for Laurence to call on the family.
No reason until now. He was making good on his words to Hannah.
When the carriage rolled to a stop in front of the magnificent estate house, Louisa sat up and rubbed her eyes. “Are we there?”
“Yes, this is our destination. We’ll stay for several days, I hope. You might even get to ride on a pony while we’re here.” He shouldn’t make promises he couldn’t be certain to keep, but they always rode through the fields when he visited. Louisa was old enough to sit on a pony and learn to at least walk in a small circle.
The butler came out to greet the carriage, placing a step below the door. Laurence held Louisa’s arm out for the man to help her down, then descended himself.
“Was your trip pleasant, Lord Oakhurst?” The graying butler had been with the family as long as Laurence could remember.
“Yes, the weather remained clear the entire trip.”
“Very good, your lordship. Lady Bridgethorpe is awaiting you in the drawing room.” He turned and led the way.
Lady B set aside her needlework and smiled warmly. “How delightful of you to come. And to bring Louisa. I’ve missed her so.”
He chuckled. “With the number of your children still at home you could hardly have a moment to think of any others.”
“You understand so completely, especially for a man who was an only child. Have your nursemaid take your ward to the nursery and I’ll ring for a footman to take up some biscuits and milk for her.”
“Thank you.”
Before he could turn away, she spoke again. “I’m aware of the reason for your visit, even though you didn’t say anything specific in your letter.”
“I see. And do you approve?”
“It’s not my place to approve or disapprove. You may speak to Lord Bridgethorpe about the matter, and if he approves, only then may you speak to Hannah. Is that understood?”
“Yes, ma’am.” He felt as if he were ten years old again, standing before her with Adam and David on his first visit. She’d been so threatening, so stern, and the attention made him love her all the more.
Lord Bridgethorpe was napping, so Laurence went to his bedchamber to splash some water on his face. While riding in the carriage didn’t allow dust to reach him, he always felt dirty after a long trip.
He was no longer given one of the smaller rooms on the same floor as the nursery, being treated as an adult in recent years. The bed in his chamber was large with curtains hanging from the four posts. It could easily have been in the house since it’s creation, how ever many years ago that had been.
The sight of the bed pulled at him, causing visions of the family he one day hoped to have. It would only happen if Hannah agreed to it, though. In the months since he’d seen her last, he’d come to that realization.
Hannah was the only woman he could ever love.
Shortly before supper, Laurence was taken to Lord Bridgethorpe’s study to see the man. “Your lordship, you are looking well.”
“Thank you, Oakhurst. You are as well. To what do we owe this visit?”
“I’m here about Lady Hannah. I wish to ask her to marry me.”
Lord Bridgethorpe frowned. “I was given the impression you’d done so and been turned down. Do you truly wish to risk asking her again? I’d hate to have you so uncomfortable you no longer wish to visit us.”
“I told her I would speak to her when she’d had time to recover from her unfortunate incident.” He wouldn’t go into the details he was certain Lord B. already knew.
“I imagine it can’t hurt to let you see her, then. I shall have her meet you in the library.”
“Thank you, sir.” Laurence bowed his head and went to the library.
He would swear hours passed before Hannah appeared. She seemed years older, more mature than when he’d last seen her in Town. He wanted to throttle Downham for stealing the joy from her eyes. “Lady Hannah, I’m pleased you will speak with me.”
“Did you fear I no longer wished to see you? I told you, you will always be special to me. As a brother, of course.”
He swallowed the lump of dread in his throat that threatened to cut off his air. “I remember your words. And if you’ll recall, I said I’d speak to you once more on a certain subject, and if it was still too unpleasant for you to consider, I’d never bring up the matter again.”
He didn’t wait for her to respond. “I told you in June how much I loved you, and since then I’ve only grown to love you more. I’m not saying this because I feel guilty over what happened. I wish I’d spoken before we ever visited Vauxhall Gardens. Would you have trusted me to speak from the heart then?”
Hannah’s lips turned down. “At that point I still considered myself in love with another man. I wouldn’t have considered your suit as I was waiting for his.”
“Do you trust me now with the truth?”
“I do. You’ve only reaffirmed what I’ve always known about you. You’re honest, protective, and a great joker. You care about family. You care about justice. I admire you greatly, Laurence.”
“You sound as though the next thought begins with, ‘But…’”
She grinned. “But…we know too much about each other to make for a happy marriage?” she asked.
“I disagree. We know enough about ourselves to know we’d succeed at a happy life together.”
She smiled but said nothing.
“I won’t spout flowery words for you this time, Hannah. You know what I’m asking. Marry me. Share my life, my heart.”
“Since arriving home I’ve thought often about what you said to me in June. I’ve begun to accept that you might truly love me. You know me better than anyone, and yet here you are asking for my hand again. How can I believe anything else?”
“Then may I have your answer?”
“Yes. My answer is yes, Laurence. I love you. I misjudged it to be like what I feel for my brothers, but as I said, I’ve thought about us almost constantly in the past two months. You are the only man I can be my true self around. I can’t imagine marrying anyone else.”
“Are you certain?” He was frozen in his spot.
“You’ve waited two months to hear my answer and this is all you can say to me?”
“I’m unable to find words.” Now he took the steps that brought him close to her. He stroked one of her cheeks, his fingers noticeably warm against her cool skin. Trailing a finger beneath her jaw, he lifted her face and lowered his lips to hers.
He savored her minty taste, the soft pressure of her lips against his. He would never get enough of kissing her. “I love you, Hannah. With all my heart, all my being. I will work every day of my life to keep you happy.”
“If you work every day I’ll never see you, and that would make me very unhappy. I love you, dear man. I’ll be forever grateful to Louisa for bringing us together. I’ll treat her as my own child, if that’s all right with you.”
He nodded, resting his head on hers. “I think you’ve been doing that since first you met. That act alone has made her transition so much easier. I hope you’ll always feel that way about her.”
She stood on her toes and kissed him again. “How can I not? She reminds me of you in many ways.”
“Lord help us when she turns eighteen, then. I doubt I could survive a Season with someone as wild as me.”
He’d do it, though. He would endure any number of Seasons in the future to be allowed to show off this beautiful woman on his arm. He’d come so close to never having her. She loved him. He was very blessed.
~*~*~*~*~
I hope you enjoyed Her Impetuous Rakehell. Please turn the page to read an excerpt from my Civil War novella, The Lieutenant’s Promise.
The Lieutenant’s Promise
Chapter One
June 28, 1861
Wilson Creek, Missouri
“Cletus Bocephus Gilmore, you get your tail back here before I tan your hide.” Emily Gilmore wave
d a switch at the enormous hog that’d escaped his pen yet again. It had plenty of mud available to keep itself cool, thanks to the unrelenting rain this past week. The sun managed to break through this morning just long enough to make the air thick and heavy, but not dry the ground.
Cletus ignored her shouts and continued to waddle toward the woods on the edge of Em’s family’s farm. This had become almost a ritual, his knocking down a fence rail and slipping out to rut his way through the fresh undergrowth in the woods on the west end of the farm. Although, slipping wasn’t the best word to use on a critter his size.
“Em, wait,” cried Billy from behind.
She paused and glanced back at her little brother. The poor boy had a smudge of dirt in his sandy brown hair already. He was always forgetting to wear his hat. At eight, he was finally old enough to take on a few of the chores more difficult than gathering eggs or slopping the pigs. Try as he might, it didn’t make up for the fact that Tom, ten years older than Billy and four younger than Em’s twenty-two, had just joined up with the Union Army after the secessionists took over the governmental buildings in Jefferson City.
Ma was beside herself now with worries. After Pa died, Tom had taken on much of the heavy work that now fell to Em, and Ma was certain Em couldn’t keep the farm going. Ma had her hands full with the younger kids, and hadn’t been herself since Harvey’s birth almost two years ago. Having lost her husband six months before didn’t help.
Em watched Billy struggle to pull his boot out of the mud, wobbling on his other foot. She walked back, bent down and tugged the boot free, noticing the mud beginning to clump on the hem of her dress. “There you go. Now let’s get that boar and put him back in his pen. We have chores to do.”
Rufus, the old red hound, had his nose to the ground and ran off after whatever animal he’d smelled.
Once Cletus found the tender shoots he sought and ate enough to feel indulged, he allowed Em and Billy to guide him back. As the three of them trekked between the trees, through the briars, and around the stumps, Em heard movement to their left. She grabbed Billy’s arm and raised a finger to her lips.
