by Shan
Fuck it; I thought to myself as I entered the ramp and sped down the highway. I guess I had kind of figured out what I was gonna do…what I needed to do. I was just gonna have to let Jourdin know that, if she moved a nigga up in the house I was paying for, that nigga needed to take over the payments. I loved my daughter and would do anything for her, but I be damned if I took care of another nigga.
It took me about thirty minutes to get to the new place I had gotten for Tangie. Ever since Chaison them had come to our house looking for me, she refused to go back so I had to cop her another spot. I stayed here with her most of the time to keep her from worrying about me, and a couple of nights out of the week, I would chill at Jourdin’s. Once I pulled up to the house, I pulled my car into the driveway, hopped out, and went inside.
“You know, I was thinking today…” I said to Tangie, once I crept up on her while she mopped the kitchen floor.
“Shit, you scared me,” she said, dropping the mop to the floor to place her hand over her chest.
“You must was having some freaky thoughts,” I said to her, and she looked at me and rolled her eyes.
“No, I was thinking about this damn chicken tetrazzini I wanted to make. I’m gonna make it so cheesy,” Tangie said, and I shook my head. Her little belly was starting to poke out, and it seemed like, the bigger it got, the more she ate. She was gaining weight in all the right places, though, so it looked good on her.
“Your ass always eating.”
“Yea, well this baby making me like that. Anyway, what was you thinking about?”
“About doing that counseling shit you was talking about. You still want to?” I asked her just before she went to pick the mop back up. She looked at me in shock before her lips formed into a smile.
“Are you serious?”
“Yea, kinda been looking at the way Dae and Amber them been getting along, even though she still ain’t took that nigga back yet,” I said and chuckled.
“Well, there’s a lot there that she needs to get over.”
“Yea, but he was mad as fuck, cause she had him thinking that they was back together until, one day, she told him he couldn’t sleep in the bed with her anymore.”
“Amber just needed some dick. That’s all that was,” Tangie said and giggled.
“Why is that funny?” I asked in all seriousness.
“Shit, because it is. Hell, niggas use women for pussy all the time; what’s wrong with it when a woman does it? That’s good she’s making him work for that relationship. Dae did a lot of fucked up shit to her, and I honestly, don’t blame her if she never takes him back, but I know that she will though. She loves that crazy ass boy.”
“Damn, I’m still stuck on her using him for dick though? Is that why you been putting up with my shit lately?”
“Umm no…is this you admitting that you’ve been wrong?” Tangie asked, and I only nodded.
“Wow, what changed for you today? This is a first. I feel like I need to take a picture.”
“Funny,” I said and sighed. “But for real. Maybe that counseling shit will help us though.”
“I think that it will. I just been dealing and praying that you got it together. I know that you got your shit with you, and I’m not saying that I’m perfect, but I know where my heart is, and I only hoped that you would find your way back home so that we could work it out.”
“Thank you,” I said, as I walked up to her and kissed her lips. She wrapped her arms around me and looked up at me.
“Thank me for what?”
“Dealing with me. I got a fucked up way of thinking sometimes, but I’mma get it together. No lie, I was at Jourdin’s tonight, and lately, I had been only dealing with her because I don’t want no other nigga around Cassie, but I know I gotta get over that.”
“So what you gonna do?” Tangie asked, and I sighed. “About her? And don’t tell me it’s over with her if you know that you’re gonna keep messing with her. I would rather us still be apart until you figure it out. I just want you to leave me alone until you do, though.”
“No you don’t. You don’t want me to leave you alone.”
“Yes the hell I do. I can’t keep having you telling me one day that you love me and that there is nobody else for you, and then, the next day, you’re laying in Jourdin’s bed or whoever else you dealing with.”
“I’mma leave her alone,” I told Tangie, and she rolled her eyes like she didn’t believe me. “For real; let me call her right now in front of you.”
I reached into my pocket to pull out my cell phone, but it wasn’t there. I patted at the other one, then looked around to see if I had sat it down anywhere.
“Shit, I must’ve left it in the car. I’ll be back.”
I walked outside to the car, opened the door, and looked inside for my phone. I checked everywhere, and when I didn’t see it, I figured I must’ve left it at Jourdin’s. Shit; I thought to myself, as I turned around and walked back into the house.
“I left my damn phone over there at Jourdin’s…you wanna ride with me to go get it?”
“Really?” Tangie asked, as her brows raised.
“Yea…that’s like a 30-minute drive, and I don’t want to take it by myself.”
“Okay, let me put my shoes on and grab my purse.”
I walked back outside to the car and searched one more time before I sat down in the driver’s seat and pushed the button to start the ignition. After a few minutes, Tangie came out, and I took off and headed back over to Jourdin’s. I asked Tangie to ride with me, because I wanted her to know that I wasn’t up to no shit and that I did leave my phone. I really ain’t wanna do this counseling thing, but I figured that, since Tangie had suggested it before, she felt like it was something that can strengthen our relationship.
I didn’t think I had no damn problem, but I didn’t wanna hear her mouth either about the problems she felt I had. I felt that, at least, if she thought I was trying to fix whatever problems she saw, she would never mention them again. So fuck it, let’s go to counseling.
The drive to Jourdin’s house was quiet except for the music I had playing at a low volume. Every now and then, I would glance over at Tangie to see that she was in deep thought about something. I reached over and grabbed her hand into mine and then pulled it up to my mouth to kiss.
“You good?” I asked her, and she looked at me and nodded.
“Yes, I’m Gucci. Just getting sleepy. You know I can’t stay up late anymore,” Tangie chuckled, and I nodded just as we pulled up to Jourdin’s house. I had parked on the curb instead of in the driveway like I normally did. “This a nice ass house.”
“Yea, it’s straight,” I told Tangie, before I let her hand go to get out of the car. I walked up to the door and used my key to get inside. I could hear Cassie crying the moment I walked inside and wondered why the hell she was still woke. Looking around, I didn’t see her or her mother anywhere, so I figured they had to be upstairs in Cassie’s room. I took the stairs two at a time before I walked into Cassie’s room. Neither of them were in there, so I walked out and tried to follow where I heard Cassie’s cries coming from.
“Take it out Mommy; it burns!” Cassie cried. The closer I got, the clearer what she was saying became to me.
“No, Cassie, I told you; you have to leave it in. Don’t you wanna be a big girl for mommy?” I heard Jourdin say, and I frowned as I continued to walk toward the bathroom where I heard their voices coming from.
“Yes…but it hurts so bad. Please take it out! Take it out, Mommy!” Cassie cried.
“Okay…but just for tonight. When you wake up, we have to put it back in. I told you you have to keep it in all the time, so only for tonight, okay,” Jourdin told her, and I reached for the doorknob, but stopped when I heard Cassie speak again.
“Yes, so I can look like daddy,” she said, and I frowned, as I wondered what she meant by that. I reached for the doorknob again, and this time I pushed it open.
“Shit,” Jordin jumped back as h
e looked at me. She had a bottle of contact solution in her hand that she quickly tried to hide behind her back.
“Thank you, Mommy, it feels better now,” Cassie said, and she turned around to where I could see her. She looked up at me and smiled, and when I looked down at her, my heart broke in two pieces as I stared into her eyes. They were the same. Two brown ones unlike the first time I had seen her. I couldn’t believe this bitch Jourdin would go as far as to putting a colored contact into Cassie’s eyes. Conniving bitch; was all I thought before I lost it and lunged for Jourdin.
Chapter 24
Khi
“You can grab that and take it out to the truck,” I told one of the movers from the moving company that I had hired to help move our things out of here and into the new spot that I had got.
“Ughh, moving is so tiring,” Cuba said as she yawned and walked over to where I stood.
“You act like you done something. I hired these niggas and I been lifting and moving shit all day. I ain’t see you do nothing,” I told her and she laughed and laid across the bed.
“I know, but I’ve been here all day watching you and it gets tiring.”
“What the fuck you trying to get into?”
“Tangie wants to go shopping for the baby and I really wanna pick up some new supplies for the office,” Cuba said as she batted her eyes at me. I shook my head knowing it was something. I had been real overprotective of her and the kids not really allowing them to do shit if I wasn’t with them or someone else that I had trusted. We had already taken too many losses and I couldn’t afford anymore. Not only that, we was now on a different level in this dope shit, which meant I had to move wayyy better than before. Niggas couldn’t just see and touch my chick or my kids when they wanted to.
“I don’t know about all that. I got everybody trying to help us with this move. You and Tangie need to do that another day.”
“Come on baby, I’m not doing anything here but looking around. At least let me use my time wisely.”
“If you moved a box or two, we could be out of here a whole lot faster,” I told her as I picked her up from the bed and wrapped her legs around my waist. My cellphone fell to the floor as I gently laid Cuba down on her back and slid my hand under her shirt.
“No sex, if I can’t go to the mall,” Cuba said and I looked at her and chuckled.
“I’m your husband now, you can never deny me sex again.”
“Whatever. If I can’t go get my stuff then I won’t be a happy woman and you promised to always make me happy.”
“You been taking these promises too far. Every week you telling me what I promised you.”
“Cause we both know you tend to forget shit when it suits you. Anyway, let me go to the mall. Please tell one of those big ass dudes to go with us. I just wanna get these ceramics I seen online the other day before they’re all gone.”
“Why not just order them online if you saw them online?”
“Because then I might not get them all in one piece. Come on now…you told me that all of this wouldn’t limit my life and have me feeling like a kid.”
“Look go ahead. Take one of them niggas with you,” I told her and she jumped up and kissed me on the lips before grabbing her purse and keys just as there was a tap at the door.
“Sorry to interrupt boss man, but it’s a chick at the gate claiming to be your baby mama….Mexican or Hispanic looking chick,” one of the goonies Mario said and I nodded.
“Tell her, I’ll be down there to talk to her,” I told him and started towards the door.
“You gonna make her wait at the gate. Tell her to come inside. You’ve been talking about how bad you wanna see Kenya and here’s your chance. Tell her to come inside, Mario…let her in,” Cuba said and I slid my hands into my pockets and then followed behind Mario.
“Let me just talk to her though to see what she wants. I just wanna make sure everything is good.”
“Why wouldn’t everything be good? You said shit was cool with y’all. She bet not be here to cause no damn drama after she done took your damn baby all the way across the damn country.”
I shook my head as I went down the stairs and headed toward the front door. Mario had already allowed Selena into the gate and by the time I had made it outside, she was pulling up in front of the house. I sighed as I watched her park the car and slowly climb out of it.
“Hey,” Selena said as she walked around to the passenger’s side of the car. She opened up the backdoor and I walked over to the car and helped her pull Kenya out. She had gotten big as hell since the last time I had seen her in person. Selena had combed her hair into little ponytails and she was looking just like my other princess. Her smooth little caramel skin looked so soft and I couldn’t help but to rub my finger over her cheek.
“Damn she got big,” I said as I stood in front of Selena. “What are you doing here?”
“I don’t understand why I have to go through your mother to get in contact with you. You blocked my number again. I had to threaten to put your ass on child support and take all of your money for her to give me this damn address and it looks like if I wouldn’t have come today, I would’ve been too late.”
“The fuck you come here to start drama or something?” I asked her and sighed as I sat Kenya’s car seat down. I slid my hands into my pocket and gritted down on my teeth.
“No, I came to you to talk about your fuckin’ kids. You got everybody thinking that I’m some crazy bitch that took off with your daughter when you know that’s not true.”
“Well, what’s true then?” Cuba asked and I looked at Selena.
“The truth is, yes I took our daughter but when I tried to come home, Khi told me that I couldn’t,” Selena said and I pulled my hands out of my pockets and quickly yoked her up.
“Leave! Get the fuck in the car and go and I will talk to you later!”
“You see, Cuba? He didn’t want me around because he knows that I’m pregnant again with his child. He wanted to hide it from you, but I’m not gonna do this alone. It’s not fair to me to be a single mother while he goes off and gets married like we don’t exist,” Selena spat and it took everything in me not to slap her across the face.
“Khi…wait…what?” Cuba said and I let Selena go and walked over to her. She raised her hands up and backed away from me. Her keys fell to the ground and she reached down and picked them up.
“Yea, he told me that I could come back after you all married, but when I tried to just last week, he told me it still wasn’t a good time and that he would come to see Kenya, but never came. So here I am. Did he tell you that he comes to see Kenya at least once a month?” Selena spewed hatefully.
“That’s why you was in such a rush to get married? Did you really even wanna marry me?” Cuba cried.
“Yes…yes. The fuck? Don’t do this shit, Cuba.”
“She’s pregnant, Khi, and you’ve been going to see her behind my back. Had me thinking that you hadn’t seen your daughter since she’d been born.”
“I slipped up and fucked Selena back when me and you was fighting about Briana and you kept telling me you didn’t give a fuck. You said that shit so much that I believed it for a minute. Selena came on to me and yea I fucked her…one time! I ain’t touched her ass since. She ran off again because she knew she was pregnant, but didn’t tell me until she was four and a half months along! She knew I wouldn’t want it! She did that shit to be spiteful, so that’s why I told her to stay the fuck away! That’s the truth!” I tried to explain, but Cuba repeatedly shook her to let me know that she was feeling nothing I was saying.
“Don’t touch me!” Cuba screamed when I tried to grab her again.
“Baby, go inside so we can talk. I’m a get rid of her.”
“No…no…it ain’t shit to talk about. You should’ve talked to me when this shit happened. How you gonna let this bitch pop up and surprise me with this? I probably could’ve forgiven you then had you just been honest, but no, not after this. I feel so fucked
up right now. Like you only married me because you thought it would keep me around once the truth came out.”
“I’m sorry, Cuba. I really didn’t want to tell you about our son like this,” Selena said and Cuba looked at me with so much pain in her eyes that I started feeling sick to my stomach. I tried to grab her again, but she slapped the fuck outta me and took off running towards her car.
“Cuba!” I said and chased after her. She was inside of her car and had quickly locked the doors before I could open the door. “Cuba!”
“Leave me alone!” she yelled, her voice muffled by the glass. She went inside of her purse and grabbed her keys out. I gritted down on my teeth and punched my fist through the window causing the glass to shatter and Cuba to scream out. I tried to grab her before she was able to crank the car, but wasn’t fast enough. She started the car, placed it in drive, and slammed down on the gas just as I pulled my arm out.
“Ahhh fuck!” I yelled as Cuba rolled over my foot when she drove away.
“You want me to go after her?” Mario asked and I shook my head.
“Nah, let her go. She needs to cool off before she tries to hear anything I got to say. She just gonna go to Tangie’s so I’ll tell Cass to keep an eye on her,” I said and reached into my pockets for my phone and when I noticed that I didn’t have it, I remembered dropping it on the floor in the bedroom. I cursed and gritted as I limped towards the house.
“Get the fuck off my property,” I said to Selena when I looked back at her to see a smirk on her face. That was exactly why I kept that spiteful broad away and took care of my child from a distance. One minute she would be claiming to be happy for me and Cuba and the next she was crying about why I never loved her the same way. She tried to use everything in her power to make me get back with her ass and that baby in her stomach was just another part of her schemes.
Anytime I wanted to visit my daughter, it was always a problem. I had to practically bribe her ass with money and gifts and promises to spend time with her that I didn’t want to spend. I was forced to take her ass on dates and just other shit that I wasn’t gonna keep doing. I had only fucked Selena that one time and she stayed .38 hot about that too, but I didn’t a give a fuck. I didn’t even give a fuck about seeing my daughter anymore and I knew Selena felt that. I loved that little girl, but I wasn’t gonna play those games with her mama. Only thing I knew to do was to keep sending her money and to take her ass to court and sue for custody.
