“Nothing! I just wondered how you were feeling. Are you lonely?”
“Nah!” Vivica felt exhilarated more than anything else. She had always been happy in her own company, and aside from the times when she needed Val like flowers need sunshine, she was perfectly content to be alone. “The house is great, but I’m going to need some help unpacking. When are you coming for a visit?”
Val laughed. “I shoulda known you only wanted me over there to work!” At Viv’s amused chuckle, she said, “It won’t be for at least a couple of weeks honey, because I have a shoot overseas. What do you want me to bring back from Thailand for you?”
“Some lovely, unique piece of art for my house would be nice.”
“What about something just for you?” Val asked. “You’re always dressing up your living space!”
“What’s wrong with that?” Viv wanted to know.
“Viv, you’re a sexy young woman. Would it kill you to act like it?” Val’s exasperated tones sounded sharply over the wires.
“It mightn’t kill me, but it can’t hurt to be careful, Val,” she answered, suddenly very sober.
She hadn’t told anyone everything that had happened to cause her to move out of Ray’s house into an apartment by herself. They knew he had beaten her badly, but no one knew the whole story. And if she kept it to herself, she’d feel safer. Her sister’s sigh was heavy, but she promised to bring her something exotic for her house.
“And Viv?”
“Yeah Val?” She already knew what her twin was going to say.
“Be careful! Don’t ever let your guard down.”
“I won’t, I promise. Thanks, love.”
“I love you! I’ll send you a postcard when I get there.”
“I love you, too! And you take care over there.”
She spent most of the afternoon emptying boxes in the kitchen and dining room, and was surprised to find it was after four when she stopped because her stomach rumbled. She had had the foresight to do a bit of grocery shopping, and decided to make some meatloaf, so she’d have leftovers for a couple of days. Garlic bread and salad would make a nice round meal. She put a bottle of wine in the fridge, and had just put her hands in the meat to blend in the seasonings when the doorbell rang.
“Well, at least it works,” she mumbled, rinsing her hands quickly and rushing to the door when the bell sounded again.
Through the peephole, she saw a man, but he was half turned away from her and looking down, so she couldn’t see his face. At least it wasn’t Ray, so she opened the door...and almost fell over. The man standing on her front porch, holding a box from a pastry shop and leaning on a cane, was the last man she had ever expected to see again.
“Cal? Cal Appleton? What the hell are you doing here?”
Not the best greeting, absolutely no finesse whatsoever, but she was way past finesse into stupefied and flabbergasted. She held on to the door for support as her legs felt unaccountably weak.
“It’s good to see you, too, Viv,” he said sarcastically, a wry grin on his face.
Vivica was not amused, though she immediately recalled how he had always been sarcastic, and she had often had to remind him that other people might not enjoy his sense of humor. Just as she was not enjoying it now. This was not the way she had envisioned meeting him again, with her at a disadvantage.
“Funny, that’s not how I see it,” she snapped back, and then gasped. The last thing she wanted to be was rude, and not just because she was acutely aware of just how tall and broad he had become, and just how much her body was making her pay attention to that. She had loved the man standing before her, and even if he had hurt her, she understood, as an adult, that most boys his age would have made the same decision. They all thought they could conquer the world, and that settling down was the last thing on their minds. She knew he was not responsible for her expectations. He was only responsible for his actions. She straightened her spine, and swallowed before uttering her apology.
“I’m sorry, Cal. That was inexcusable.” She stepped away from the door, and beckoned him in. “Please, come in. I’m in the middle of cooking, so you’ll have to visit in the kitchen.”
She walked away, leaving him to close the front door and follow her. By the time he came into the kitchen, she had her hands full of raw minced meat, and was combining the eggs, bread crumbs, carrots, onions and garlic, with salt and pepper, and shaping it into a loaf which she then placed in a prepared pan. She coated the top of the loaf with an easy sauce mixture, covered it, washed her hands, and then placed the pan in the oven and set the timer for forty-five minutes.
Realizing she could leave the salad and garlic bread until the meatloaf was almost done, she sat down across from him at the table.
“Still love cooking, I see,” he commented, and sniffed the air appreciatively.
“Best way to keep the meat on my bones,” she answered, smiling. She was glad that neither he nor she had ever been concerned about the extra pounds she sometimes carried. In fact, if memory served, Cal had always seemed to be turned on by her lusher curves. “So tell me, Cal, really, what are you doing here?” She glanced up at him, and got the full force of his piercing blue eyes.
“I live next door,” he said, and smiled at her shocked expression.
“You’re kidding!” But she knew that he wasn’t. She could always tell when he was pulling her leg, and this wasn’t one of those times. “Talk about a coincidence!”
He didn’t answer her, but pushed the pastry box across to her. “I brought you a ‘welcome to the neighborhood’ gift,” he said. “I hope you still like this.”
Vivica knew what it was without having to look, and she felt her chest constrict at the thought that even after twenty years apart, he still remembered her favorite dessert. To give herself time to process the emotions that began to overwhelm her, she opened the box, and held it up to her nose. The scent of chocolate made her close her eyes in pleasure. She was convinced that she could have an orgasm just from eating chocolate mousse cake. The thought made her flush, as she suddenly became aware that Cal was watching her, and probably waiting for some kind of verbal response. And here she was thinking about orgasms! She cleared her throat.
“Thank you, Cal. That’s very sweet of you! I’m surprised you remembered.” The minute she said it, she knew she had opened a door she should probably have left closed. Inhaling deeply, she plunged on, forestalling any comment he might have made. “You’re invited to share it with me after dinner. It’s the least I can do.”
“A home cooked meal that I don’t have to make myself? Not a chance I’m going to pass that up.” Cal smiled his thanks and asked, “So, how have you been, Viv? It’s been twenty years. Your family moved away almost as soon as I left for West Point.”
Vivica thought about how to answer his question. She and Cal were still friends, she hoped, though they had lost touch, but there was a lot he didn’t know, most of it to do with her marriage and subsequent separation from Ray. She didn’t want to tell him about any of that. If she told him she was separated, he would want to know why, and she was not going there with him. If he was still like he had been in school, he’d find Ray and there’d be hell to pay. And the last thing she needed now was to give Ray a reason to counter her divorce summons with charges of his own.
“I’ve been fine,” she said breezily. “My dad was stationed abroad, and we went with him for a year, then came back home. I went to college, got trained to be a physical therapist, helped mom after my dad passed away. And now, for the first time, I’m a proud homeowner.”
He looked at her as though he knew she was skirting around things she wanted to keep hidden, but she shrugged it aside. Unless he asked, she had nothing further to say. She hurried on.
“What about you? Twenty years in the Army! What rank are you? What have you done with your time? I heard you were a Green Beret. Isn’t that like Special Ops or something?”
If Cal was like most of the men she knew, he would b
e completely distracted answering her questions, because it was all about him, and she could dodge the bullet of his personal interest in her life. Anything to avoid him knowing things she herself didn’t want to think about, especially with him sitting across her kitchen table from her, looking like God’s gift to women. She swallowed as she took in his broad shoulders, the tight chest she could see beneath his t-shirt, his muscled forearms and big man’s hands. She blinked when she heard her name.
“What? Sorry. I was distracted.” She blushed as she said it, and was glad her skin was dark enough that he wouldn’t notice it.
“I asked who told you I was a Green Beret,” he said quietly, his attention now firmly on her. “Are you all right?” he asked, and the flash of concern in his eyes warned her to be careful of her answer.
“Yes, I’m fine. It’s just...well, you look nothing like you did when you left for the Army. You were good-looking then, but now you’re what my girlfriends would call star-quality, drop-dead gorgeous. That buzz cut suits you, too, and the scruff...is that even regulation?”
She seemed to have developed a serious case of running-at-the-mouth, and she could see that he was amused by her indiscreet observations. Well, at least amusement was better than curiosity. She’d rather be embarrassed than humiliated, if he were ever to find out about her life with Ray.
“I’m on medical leave,” he said, seeming to accept her change of subject, “so scruff is permissible.”
She smiled at him, unsure of where next to go in the conversation that would take him away from her and her life. She noticed that he hadn’t taken the bait and talked about his job, and he didn’t seem to care that she thought he was hot. Asking about his injuries might be just the ticket.
“Medical leave, eh? What happened?”
“Explosion. Vehicle rolled, lacerations needing stitches, concussion, broken ribs and leg, knee and ankle injuries.”
“Wow! Sounds like a real mess!” Viv was appalled, and she now looked him over with the practiced eye of a personal trainer-cum-physical therapist. “Hence the cane, eh? So I assume you’re doing PT?”
“Yes, and working to get back to my unit sooner rather than later.”
“Should you be pushing yourself? I mean, if you’re impaired, won’t you be a liability to your team?”
He stared at her as though she had insulted him, but his answer, when he spoke at last, was cool and nonchalant.
“As you heard, I’m a Green Beret.”
She rolled her eyes. As if that explained anything. Then she realized that she knew next to nothing about the military, and it probably did explain a great deal. She wondered in what other ways Cal had changed, aside from his obvious physical strength, and if she would ever have the chance to see it. If he was trying to go back to the front lines, it meant he wasn’t planning to stick around anyway, so it didn’t matter. She sighed. She supposed that was a good thing, because it would definitely help her resist any attraction she might still feel towards him. She crossed her fingers.
Chapter 3 - Old Feelings Resurface
Viv had certainly become a first-rate cook. Dinner was delicious, and Cal was not too proud to ask for seconds. He knew he would work it off in his therapy sessions. He was getting stronger every day, and should ace his physical exam at the end of the month, which meant he could be back on the front lines in six weeks. The thought still filled him with excitement, but now, there was something else also nudging in on his consciousness. He didn’t know what it was, and ignored it. Maybe he could rekindle his friendship with Viv until then, and hope that when he left, she would have decided to get involved in the self-defense program at the gym. Trey and Sara would look after her, and he wouldn’t have to worry about her. The question of why he would worry about her to begin with was one he also chose to ignore.
After dessert, he helped her wash the dishes, because she said the dishwasher needed to be replaced. Once they were dried and put away, he offered to help her unpack.
“That’s very kind of you, Cal, but I’m sure what you need to do more than help me unpack is get off your feet. I’ve been watching you, and you’re favoring your right side. Did you work out today?”
Cal chuckled. “What makes you ask?”
“Cal, I’m a physical therapist, and I’ve worked with a number of vets who display similar behaviors when they have overextended themselves.” She cast an assessing eye over him as he leaned against the counter. “Based on the injuries you listed, you should be in rehab and PT for a couple of months more, at least, if you’ve been out long enough to be ambulatory. But you show all the signs of an alpha male pushing himself beyond his limits in order to get back on the job.”
“Whoa! Whoa! Where are you getting all this from, Viv?” Cal was not happy that she had so neatly pigeonholed him, and seemed to know more about him than he had actually told her. He was uncomfortable, and that made him mad.
Viv smiled sadly. “It’s okay, Cal. I’m not your PT and have no right to try to prescribe treatments for you. Forgive me. It’s just difficult to see someone I...care about denying the truth, and hurting himself.” She turned away. ”Want some coffee?”
Cal felt like he had been chastised, even though nothing she had said had been even remotely judgmental. The whiplash effect of her sudden reversal struck him, and he was nonplussed for a moment. And that she admitted that she cared about him floored him. Then he gathered his thoughts and said,
“No, no thanks, that’s okay. I need to get going anyway.” He moved away from the counter, heading towards the front door. “Thanks so much for dinner. It was delicious.” At the door, he turned to her and added, “And it’s great to see you again, Viv. If you ever need anything I’m right next door.”
He turned and walked away before he said something he shouldn’t, or worse, did something stupid like kiss her. They hadn’t seen each other in twenty years. She was a married woman. And he wasn’t sure if this itch under his skin wasn’t just memories of a more innocent time, a time when he had been, quite simply, the boy she loved. He was no longer a boy, and he had four more years of active duty before he could retire. The last thing he needed to do was get involved with a woman; especially not the one he had left once before. He hated that she was right about him having overextended himself. His limp was more pronounced as he walked back to his side of the fence, and he felt the beginnings of a sciatic episode. He’d need to do some stretches, and use the TENS Unit he’d been given for just such an emergency.
Unlocking his door, he turned and saw Viv standing by her front door, watching him. He raised a hand in farewell and walked in, trying not to limp and failing utterly. Angry with himself, and with her for witnessing his weakness, he threw his keys down and made his way to his exercise room where he stripped and set to work managing the pain. After, as he showered and changed into comfortable sweats, he thought about Viv. He let himself go back in time, to when he was eighteen, almost nineteen years old, and she was a very innocent, barely seventeen-year-old.
She had been his from the moment he said hello to her that first day in school, and he had known that instinctively, though he wouldn’t have been able to articulate it if asked. She was tall, curvy, pretty, and vivacious, once he got her to come out of her shell. And he had fallen for her like a ton of bricks. But the one thing he knew was that she was off limits to him, because she was two years his junior, which meant she was fifteen to his seventeen when they met. Her dad would have broken his legs if he had even breathed on her in any other way than as a big brother. And because Cal wanted desperately to become like the man her dad was, he knew he couldn’t break the code and do anything to lose his trust.
However, they both knew, six months before he left, that what they felt for each other wasn’t puppy love. It was innocent, and sweet, but it was real. And the closer he got to leaving for West Point, the more he had wanted her...her heart, her mind, her soul, and her body. Everything she did, every word she said, ratcheted up his lust for her, and he ad
mitted now that part of the reason he had left a full month before he needed to, was that he had been running away from the urges he had, the desires that kept him hard whenever she was around, and that left him with blue balls if he kissed her or touched her. Just thinking about those days now was making his body stir, and he didn’t need that. He got himself a beer from the fridge and sat in front of the television, scrolling through the channels looking for something to watch, anything to take his mind off the woman next door.
He decided, after fruitless searching, that he would watch reruns of the original Top Gear. The antics of the men on the show was mindless enough to take his mind off her, and he must have dozed off, because when he woke up, it was fully dark out, and his neck was in an uncomfortable position. He stood up with a groan, stretching and listening to his bones crack. By the time his final tour of duty ended, he’d be almost forty-three years old. He couldn’t imagine what he’d be when he was no longer a soldier. And who would he be with? He shook his head at that last thought. He hadn’t thought too much about the years after retirement...until now. Now that Viv was back, and all the things he had wanted with her came flooding back to memory.
He drained the bottle and went for a second, promising himself not to go on a second bender. Last night had been bad enough. He didn’t need drink to figure out his life. He watched the rest of the India episode of Top Gear, but before the show ended, his cell phone rang. Muting the television, he answered.
“Hey bro, Debbie and Ruthie are coming for their birthday, and Ruthie is staying until after Thanksgiving. I’m having the party for them two Saturdays from now, and you’re expected, of course.”
“It’s Halloween already?” Both Cal’s younger sisters were twins, born on the same date, October 31, and the family celebrated their birthday every year with a costume party. They were six years younger than Cal, and this would be the first time he’d be seeing them since his arrival home two months ago. They harassed him, as only younger sisters could do, and he doted on them like every other indulgent older brother would.
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