by W. J. May
“Oh, don’t worry about it. I’m guessing that’s your ex.”
Natalie nodded. “He’s a total jerk.”
“You don’t have to tell me that twice.” His eyes fixed on hers and it stirred something deep within her. “Natalie. Natalie.”
“Uh huh,” she muttered, gazing into his eyes. He had her into a total trance.
“Relax. You’re too stiff. Do you know how to salsa dance?” Ryan took a step back.
“Oh, yeah. I’m sorry. I forgot the steps.” She watched how his feet moved back and forth. His hips swayed from side to side and she had to concentrate to keep her focus.
“Just follow my lead.” He pressed his body firmly against hers, directing her movements. It didn’t take long for her to catch the rhythm of the beat. Lights flashed bright colors of red, blue and green all around them, bringing the dance floor to life. Every movement of Ryan’s body against hers overwhelmed her.
“You’re doing great,” he said spinning her around. He held on to her hands and laced his fingers through hers. He lifted their arms, raising them above their heads and then pulled her closer to him. When he leaned over his breath warmed her cheek and she fought the temptation to kiss him. A deep need formed inside of her, striking every part of her body. Even those she didn’t know existed.
She needed to control herself but couldn’t seem to pull away. She had to stop while she was ahead. Something kept drawing her toward him; an uncontrollable and irrepressible force. Forgetting all about the consequences of a broken heart, she ignored her own rules. The sweet sensation made it too good to walk away.
Ryan lowered their hands and guided her body to rock back and forth against his in a perfect medley. Her hair swirled around his face, capturing and locking his body to hers.
“Where’s all that air comin’ from?” Ryan whispered into her ear.
“I don’t know.” Natalie hadn’t noticed how windy it had become until he mentioned it. She didn’t care. She didn’t want this body rocking experience to stop.
“Damn, Natalie you are so...” His breath was ragged and warm against her ear.
It sent a shiver across her body and a strong gust of wind surrounded them. The more she tried to pull away, the stronger the air became. The wind seemed to interweave a blanket around them, binding them closer together. She looked up, trying to find the source of the air.
“Your body feels incredible.” His lips brushed against her earlobe, igniting every nerve ending in her body.
She couldn’t control herself any longer. She allowed her hands to roam across his chest, taking in every part of his muscular contours. “So does yours,” she breathed heavily.
Ryan took her hands in his and put them around his neck. Their eyes locked once again and she felt his heart pumping in tune with hers. Her lip quivered as she drew closer to his mouth. She could taste the salty beads of sweat that outlined his upper lip. She opened her mouth and felt a gust of wind move through her body. The weird sensation trickled down her veins to all her extremities leaving her feeling light and airy.
She ignored the light-as-a feather sensation and followed Ryan’s movements. Their lips locked and her body shivered with excitement. His lips were moist and hot. She kissed him deeply and passionately. In a matter of seconds, her body went limp and desire filled every part of her. She knew where she wanted this to go. Her mind told her to stop. Oh, but everything else told her not to. What am I doing? It took all of her strength to stop kissing him.
She pushed away. “I’m sorry Ryan. I can’t...I just can’t do this right now.”
“What?” He looked at her with confusion.
She covered her mouth and without saying a word she turned and ran off the dance floor.
Δ
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Chapter 3: A Leap of Faith
Staring into the mirror, Natalie watched the sweat collect on her temples. She closed her eyes and took several deep breaths. Slowly, she reopened them. Her face burned with heat and chill bumps ran down her arms. She braced herself, holding onto the sides of the clear glass basin. When she reached for the faucet, her left hand vanished into thin air. Immediately, she looked at her right hand. She gasped and stumbled a few steps back, pressing up against the bathroom door. She could see through the flesh of her skin.
“What in the—” she held both hands in front of her face. Fear consumed every part of her and the walls seemed to be closing in, trapping her. Gradually, her arms withered away and her flesh evaporated into the air. Her body began to feel lighter and lighter until it completely disappeared. Even though she could not see her body she felt the space she occupied. Panic rose up through her causing her heart to beat rapidly.
“No...no... no! Somebody help me ... please!”
Natalie shot straight up from the bed. Her breathing was ragged and her head swayed back and forth. Her clothes clung to her body, drenched in sweat. She held up her hands in front of her. She sighed, “Oh thank God. What a horrible dream.” She examined the rest of her body, making sure everything was visible.
A sense of relief settled in and her heart relaxed. The sunlight shined brightly through the wall of windows in the guest bedroom of her aunt’s condo and she wondered how long she had slept. She rummaged through the Egyptian cotton sheets for her cell phone. Checking her phone, she saw that she had several missed calls and text messages from Lise and another number she didn’t recognize. Before she had a chance to read them her phone rang. Even though she didn’t feel like talking to Lise, she took the call.
“Hello.” Natalie cleared her throat a few times.
“Nat? Thank God you answered. Where are you? I’ve been calling and texting you all night. What happened to you?”
“Lise, calm down. I’m fine.”
“I’m sorry about last night. I don’t know what got into me. I didn’t mean to be so rude.”
“Forget about it.” Natalie shook her head. She had no idea why Lise had acted that way with her in front of Ryan and Sal. It seemed unlike her because she always showed concern for Natalie, eager to help with any problems.
“Where are you?”
“I stayed at Sharon’s last night.” Natalie ran her fingers through her matted hair, wondering how it got so messed up.
“Why did you leave? What happened? Ryan said you got upset and ran off the dance floor. I looked for you for over an hour.” Lise breathed heavily, like she was walking or running.
“I’m sorry, I had to go.” Natalie sighed. She heard Lise still breathing heavily. “What are you doing? Why are you breathing so hard?”
“I’m on the treadmill. Can you believe it?”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, come to find out Sal likes to exercise too. Enough about me, tell me what happened? Did Tony upset you that bad or did Ryan do something?”
Natalie didn’t feel like talking about what happened between her and Ryan. She needed to think through everything first before saying anything to Lise. “No, I’ll tell you about it later. I’m going to shower and then I’ll be back at the dorm.”
“Do you want me to come and pick you up?” She heard a couple of beeps in the background followed by Lise taking several deep breaths.
Natalie thought about it for a second. Even though she had on a t-shirt and shorts she found in one of Sharon’s dresser drawers, she would rather have her own clothes. “Sure. Can you bring me some clothes too? I really don’t want to go back to the dorm wearing the dress I had on last night. You know how that looks.”
“Yeah, unfortunately I do. I just finished exercising, so I’ll be there shortly. What unit does she live in again?”
“Unit 2405. Hey Lise, thanks.”
“Don’t worry about it. That’s what friends are for, remember?”
Natalie smiled. “I know, see you in a bit.”
She hung up her cell phone and set it down next to her. What happened last night? She had never reacted that way to a guy before, not even with Tony. Espec
ially one she didn’t even know that well. She always thought through her actions before reacting, considering all the consequences. There was something about being with him that made her lose complete control.
She slumped down into the bed and closed her eyes, recalling the feelings that overcame her when they were talking and dancing. She pulled up the covers over her mouth, hiding the smile and giggles she couldn’t keep in. Ryan made her nervous but at the same time she found comfort in his arms. How could that be?
Carefully, she traced back through her mind and tried to remember what had happened. When she licked her dry and cracked lips, she tasted salt; the salt that once outlined Ryan’s full lips. She touched them and recalled the passionate and intense kiss they shared. Shivers ran through her body from head to toe. Despite the incredible kiss they shared, a strike of pain to her heart told her she did the right thing by pulling away and running out the door.
Natalie tried to ignore that voice telling her not to get involved with him. For some reason she couldn’t stop thinking about him. She knew she had to stop this from going any further. Getting hurt again was not an option. Besides, school took priority over everything and falling for Ryan would only mean one thing, disaster. However, she couldn’t deny her feelings and wondered if Ryan felt the same thing too.
***
Natalie packed her clothes into her duffle bag. “Are you sure you don’t want to come home with me?”
Lise shook her head. “No, that’s okay. I’m going to stay here and hang out.”
“I’m sorry you can’t go home.” Natalie continued to gather her things, anxious to get on the road to see her family. She had two weeks off before summer classes and the start of her internship.
“It’s okay. My mom is so busy with her job, traveling and stuff... it wouldn’t be worth the flight or drive home.” Lise, an only child with divorced parents, didn’t have much family. She rarely talked to her father and hadn’t seen him in years. Her mother worked constantly and made her social life a priority, kind of like Natalie’s Aunt Sharon. The fourteen hour drive to Atlanta made going home for the weekend impossible and her mother had never visited Lise since she started college. That made Natalie grateful for her family, even though they sometimes drove her crazy.
“I’ll be back next Wednesday. So you won’t be by yourself too long.”
Lise stood in front of the mirror, fixing her makeup. “Oh, you don’t have to worry about me. I can hang out with Macie, even though I don’t care to. Besides, I’m sure I’ll be hanging out with Sal, since he’s not going home either.”
Natalie looked at Lise through the mirror. “That’s why you don’t want to go home with me. Do yourself a favor and take this slow.”
“I know. Besides, he’s not that type of guy.” Her voice had a hint of disappointment.
Natalie narrowed her eyes. “What do you mean?”
“He actually didn’t want to have sex with me. Can you believe it?” Lise laughed, but Natalie could hear the bitterness and knew that it upset her. Lise tossed a make-up brush in her cosmetic bag and shrugged it off, like it was no big deal.
“That’s good. I mean... take your time, get to know him.” She wanted to tell her to wait because even when you think you know someone really well, you don’t.
“Maybe he’s gay?”
Natalie shook her head. “I don’t think so. I didn’t get that vibe.”
Lise started working on her hair, teasing it and pinning it to the side with bobby clips. “Yeah, me either. However, I never had a guy turn me down.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t try so hard.” Natalie gathered her dirty clothes and stuffed them into her laundry bag.
“What?” Lise’s voice sounded irritated.
“What I’m trying to say is don’t be the aggressor. You’re the girl. Girls shouldn’t be trying to seduce guys for sex.” Natalie turned around, avoiding further eye contact with Lise. Talks likes this made her uncomfortable.
Lise started laughing. “Since when did you become my mother? Or Dr. Phil? Not to be rude or anything, but you’re no expert.”
Luckily, Natalie didn’t take offense to her comment. She preferred not being an expert on this subject. She sat down on the edge of her bed. “Sorry. I’m trying to prevent you from getting hurt, like I did.” She thought Tony was the right guy and hated that she gave herself to him.
“No offense Nat, but I’m tougher than you. Besides, sex is just sex. It’s no big deal. Not to mention, I can’t resist when it comes to Sal. He’s damn hot.” Lise turned back around to examine herself in the mirror. “Do you think he will continue to refuse me?”
Natalie shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know.” They definitely didn’t agree when it came to sex. She hated to think it, but one day Lise would get hurt and maybe then she’d have more respect for herself. Until then she would be Lise, always learning the hard way. “So, are you on your way to hang out with Sal?”
“Yep. We’re going to the movies.” Lise stopped teasing her hair. “Hey, why don’t you and Ryan go to the movies with us? We can go on a double date.”
“No. I told you. I’m not going out with Ryan. I can’t get involved with him.” Natalie gathered her things and doubled-checked to make sure she had everything.
“I don’t know why you keep ignoring his calls and text messages. The guy felt really bad about what happened on the dance floor. Which sounded like nothing, based on what both of you told me.”
Natalie picked up her cell phone. She saw that she had four text messages and two missed phone calls from him. She really wanted to talk to him but refused to give in to her desires. She would only get hurt again.
“He likes you a lot, Nat.”
“How do you know that?” She looked up from her phone.
“Oh, ummm....” Lise stuck her head in her closet.
“Lise, why do you keep interfering after I already told you I don’t want to go out with him? First, you gave him my number without asking me and now you’re trying to plan a double date for us. I still can’t believe you called and told him I was okay without asking me if I wanted him to know.” Natalie took a deep breath and pressed her lips together. She didn’t want to say anything she would later regret.
“I’m sorry. He was really worried about you and when I couldn’t find you or get a hold of you, he asked for your number so I gave it to him. Besides, Sal told me that Ryan said he couldn’t stop thinking about you.” Lise pulled her head out of the closet. “You’re not supposed to know that and neither am I. Ryan apparently told Sal in confidence.”
Natalie’s heart rate automatically doubled. Was he really thinking about her the way she was thinking about him? Surely not. Giddiness swept across her. She fell back on her bed, holding the phone close to her chest. She glanced over at Lise. “Seriously?”
“Yeah. I don’t know why you keep pretending you don’t like him. I can see it all over your face.”
Natalie covered her face with her pillow. A few seconds later she tossed the pillow to the side. “Is it that obvious?”
“Uh, yeah. I know that jerk really hurt you but Ryan seems like a good guy.”
Natalie smirked. “They always do.”
“You need to call him. Besides, he’s freakin’ hot too.”
Natalie narrowed her eyes at Lise. She wouldn’t put it past her to try and hit on Ryan.
“Don’t worry, I already know what you’re thinking and he’s not my type. He’s a little too country for me. Besides, I think fate brought you two together. I mean what a coincidence that you two ran into each other here?”
Natalie thought about what Lise said. Was it fate? Or another heartbreak waiting to happen? The phone rang, interrupting her thoughts. She glanced at the number on the screen. It took her a whole second to realize that number belonged to Ryan. A rush of adrenaline hit and her body tingled with excitement. Without thinking, she hit the answer key.
“Hello?” She quickly searched her mind for something to say. H
er body tensed with fear and her head spun.
“He..llo, Natalie? It’s me, Ryan. Ryan Garrett.” Instantly, her body wilted at the sound of his rugged voice.
“Hi.”
“Thanks for taking my call. I’m not trying to stalk you or anything. I...ummm...just ummm....wanted to apologize for any inappropriate behavior the other night. I don’t know what got into me.”
“It’s okay. It’s my fault, not yours.” She searched for the right words but her mind was blank.
“No, it’s not all your fault. I’m guilty too.”
“I guess we are both to blame to a certain extent.” Natalie noticed Lise looking at her.
“Who’s that?” Lise whispered.
Natalie ignored her and kept her attention on Ryan.
“I didn’t mean to upset you to the point where you had to run off. I went after you but I couldn’t find you. That’s when I told Lise and Sal, and we all went looking for you. I’m not sure if she told you that. I asked for your number and she gave it to me. I hope you don’t mind.” Ryan cleared his throat.
“Yes, she told me. I’m sorry I ran out on you Ryan—”
“OMG! Are you talking to Ryan?” Lise blurted out.
Natalie covered the phone with her hand and motioned for Lise to go away. Lise held up her hands, waiting for an answer so Natalie nodded, confirming her question. Lise smiled and winked, and then went back to getting dressed.
“Sorry. What I’m trying to say is that I’ve got issues.” Natalie didn’t know how else to put it. He probably thought she was an immature girl that couldn’t even handle being kissed by a guy. She didn’t want to tell him the real reason. She barely knew him and even though he saw how Tony acted, he wouldn’t understand.
“We all do, Natalie. You’re not alone.” His voice, sincere and heavy all at the same time, told her he did understand.
For a moment she sensed a closeness being formed between them. She closed her eyes and kept silent. Her heart kept telling her to not be scared but her mind told her the opposite.
