“Not just handsome. Fine! And he’s your best friend? There’s no way I could’ve kept a man who looks like that in the friend zone!”
I frowned and swallowed hard. “Uh…well, we’ve known each other since we were little. He didn’t exactly look like that back then.”
“Okay, but damn! Look at him now!” She moved closer to me. “Hey, you think you could hook me up with him?”
“Huh—what? W-what about Dennett?”
She rolled her eyes. “He’s so bad in bed, it’s not even funny. But that Damon? He looks like he can screw like a champ!”
My mouth just kept opening and closing like it was on a hinge. What the hell could I say? “Okay” was not an option. Yeah, I was marrying her brother, but Damon’s dick was not up for grabs on my watch. Piper’s little fake innocent closet ho’ ass was going to have to look further.
“Oooh!” she practically shouted. “He’s gay!”
“Hell, no!” I said, before I could stop myself. “Uh, no. He’s definitely not gay.”
“Well, what’s the problem?”
“Problem? Uh…um…oh! He’s-he’s in a relationship, a long-term, committed relationship.”
Her shoulders sagged, and the look of wonderment fled from her eyes. Good. Her ass needed to look elsewhere, because that dick was mine, damn-it! Mine!
How’s it yours when you’re marrying another man in less than forty-eight hours, Nicky?
Shut the hell up!
I was arguing with myself in my head. I was losing my damn mind.
“Hey, sorry it took so long. The judge wanted to pick my brain about a case he’s presiding over,” Travis said, appearing out of nowhere and wrapping an arm around me. “Let me get you to your sister’s so you can get your beauty rest.” He pressed a gentle kiss to my temple.
I was so relieved to see him. Piper was on the edge of receiving an irrational ass whooping from me.
Once we were in his car, I settled in the seat and peered over at him, noticing the look of introspection on his face. “Was your father picking your brain about a case…or me?”
He chuckled. “Well, he did mention you. Said something about you being a tiger and a more than suitable mate for me.”
My eyes widened. “Really?”
He nodded. “Yeah. A life in politics is hard, babe. Your fire will be an asset to me, to our marriage.”
My eyes shifted from Travis to the darkened scenery outside the car. “Wow.”
He chuckled again. “Yeah, you really impressed him, Nick.”
I cringed. “You know…that’s the second time you’ve called me that.”
“Called you what?”
“Nick.”
“Oh…so?”
“So, could you not call me that?”
“Why? Damon calls you that. I figured it was another nickname for you, like Nicky.”
I bit my bottom lip. “It’s not.”
“It’s not another nickname?” He sounded so perplexed.
“It is, but not like Nicky. Everyone calls me Nicky. Only Dam—just don’t call me that.”
Merciful silence filled the car, and I hoped Travis would just do as I asked and let it drop. Then he said, “Is something going on between you and Damon?”
The tasteless food I’d ingested at the McClures’s began to curdle in my belly, and my mouth suddenly became devoid of moisture. “Huh? W-what? Why do you say that? What do you mean? What could be going on between us?” all came out in a rush. Hell, I may as well have just told him we’d been fucking. I mean, I might as well have given him full disclosure complete with a chart outlining when, where, and our most frequently used position.
“Did you two have an argument?”
Yeah, because I asked him to be my side dude after I marry you because I love him and his penis. “An argument?”
“Yeah, you two didn’t say two words to each other at rehearsal, and when I spoke to him, he was real short with me.”
“Oh…”
“What’s going on?”
“Uh, I think he’s having…relationship problems. I know how he is with stuff like that, so I just keep my distance.”
“Oh. Missy Mae?”
“I think so.”
He did drop it this time, thankfully. I’d told so many lies on Damon in less than an hour, I was actually beginning to grow a conscience.
Once inside Renee’s and Zo’s castle (I’m not even exaggerating with the label “castle”), I lay in the huge bed in one of their guest bedrooms, unable to sleep. I wondered if I shouldn’t have opted to stay at my mom’s, then reminded myself that her and Daddy were probably screwing all over the place at that very moment. Nah, I was good at Renee’s and was glad Travis and I decided to live apart and abstain from sex during the week or so leading up to the wedding. I truly needed the break.
After tossing and turning for more than an hour, I buried my head in my pillow and groaned. Then I flipped over and stared at the ceiling. Without even thinking about it, I reached for my phone in the bed beside me and tapped on the Instagram icon. I checked my profile, smiled when I saw that my followers had grown to a little over six thousand, and then went to the feed and scrolled through the posts, stopping when I got to a pic of Damon, fine-ass Damon, at the gym—shirtless. The caption read: Late night gym session. Trying to clear my mind.
I stared at the picture until my eyes grew heavy and I was finally able to fall asleep.
17
I looked good—no, I looked smoking hot in a white bodycon mini with a plunging V neckline covered in white lace. Was it appropriate wedding rehearsal dinner wear? Probably not, but I didn’t care. It was my dinner, the night before my wedding. My last night as a free woman, a Strickland, so I was going to wear what I wanted to wear, sit in that private room in the Tranquil Valley Country Club, drink as much wine as I could stomach, and try my best to enjoy myself.
At least my sisters and their husbands were there, and my mom and dad, so I wouldn’t be relegated to pretending to engage with the McClures and Travis’s two frat brothers, who were serving as groomsmen along with Damon. Damon, who was either late or not coming at all. Since we weren’t talking to each other, I had no idea, but I knew I missed him.
Terribly.
Just seeing him would’ve shifted my mood, but there was nothing I could do to make that happen.
As I sat next to Travis, who was in deep conversation with Ryan, I had to ask myself for the millionth time why I couldn’t truly forgive Damon and just…be with him. It was what I wanted. It was probably even what I needed. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t let it go, and I had sense enough to know it was to my detriment. I knew I’d never be happy with Travis.
I fixed my eyes on my plate, took another sip of wine, and had totally zoned out for a good ten minutes when I heard Angie say, “Hey, Damon!”
My heart thudded in my chest and my head snapped up. He looked…gorgeous in his usual casual attire—t-shirt (this one was vintage Rugrats), jeans, and Chucks—the sexiest and most underdressed person in attendance. He smiled as he greeted Angie and everyone else at the table, gave me a little nod, and then I saw her.
What. The. Entire. Fuck?
Okay, so he brought a date. That was bad enough, but this bitch? Really?
As he pulled her chair out for her, I could feel my face heating up and my hands began to shake. I could not BELIEVE this shit! I sat there and scowled at him. I mean, if looks could kill, Damon’s ass would’ve been wearing a toe tag.
“Congratulations, Nicole!” this bitch chirped.
I gave her a smirk. “Ivy,” I said, “I didn’t realize you still lived in Romey.”
“Yeah!” she gushed, with this big-ass grin on her red-ass face. I didn’t have anything against light-skinned people. Hell, Ryan was damn near white and he was in the top three on my list of the finest men in the world. But I could not stand this beige ho’!
She continued with, “Well, I was in LA for a few years—that’s where my little girl was
born—but I moved back here like five, six years ago? Had the good fortune of running into Dame recently and now I’m getting to see you, too!”
Dame? Really, bitch?
“You have a daughter?” I asked, my eyes darting to Damon, whose eyes were glued to Ivy.
Asshole.
“Yes!” Her ass was just too happy for my taste. She pulled out her cell and thrusted it at me. “Kimora. She’s eight. Me and her dad didn’t work out, but I’m blessed to have my baby girl.”
I stared down at the phone until Travis nudged me.
My eyes widened as I handed the phone back to her. “Oh! Travis, you know Damon, and his date here is uh, Ivy…Smith?”
“Oh!” She giggled. “It’s Ivy Amato now.”
I nodded. “Ivy, this is Travis McClure, my fiancé.”
As Travis and Ivy exchanged greetings, I grabbed my cell from the table and fired a text to Damon: Really? U brought her? HER? Seriously. Like for real?
I glanced up to see him checking his phone. A second later, he sent: What?
Me: U know the fuck what!!!!
Damon: What’s the problem, Nicole?
Me: The problem is that basic ass giggly bitch sitting next to u!
Damon: What are u talking about?
Me: I’m talking about u disrespecting me by bringing somebody u fucked to my party!
Damon: Disrespecting u? Ok.
Me: Fuck u!
Damon: Nope. I’ll pass. That’s what u got Captain Cragen’s ass for. He can keep unfucking u since u like it so much ur marrying him.
My eyes shot up to him and narrowed at the smirk he wore as he stared at me. I guess I must have glared at him too long, because I felt Angie, who sat beside me, kick me under the table. My reaction was to shoot to my feet.
“Nicky?” Travis asked, sounding confused.
“I need to go to the restroom. Be right back, Travvie.”
“I’ll go with her,” Angie said.
“Me, too,” Renee stated.
Inside the ladies’ room, Angie asked, “What is going on with you and Damon, and why is it going on at your rehearsal dinner?”
“You look cute,” I said, noticing her pant suit for the first time. I turned to Renee. “And you, too, Nay!”
“Nicky! The hell is wrong with you?!” Angie shrieked.
Renee stepped closer to me. “Yeah, the whole table was staring at you and Damon. What’s going on?”
I frowned. “They were?!”
Before either of my sisters could breathe another word, the restroom door burst open and Damon charged in, making Renee jump and yelp. He breezed past us, slamming stall doors open, I presume checking to see if anyone else was in there with us. Then he was in front of me, so close I could almost taste him. I closed my eyes and inhaled.
“The fuck is wrong with you?!” he shouted. “You upset about me bringing Ivy to this bullshit-ass dinner while you sit there next to Olivia Benson wearing his ring?! What kind of twisted shit is this?!”
My eyes popped open and found Angie. “Can y’all, I mean, can we—”
She grabbed Renee. “We’ll be outside guarding the door or something.” She knew Damon, and as upset as he was, she knew he wouldn’t hurt me.
Once we were alone, I said, “Damon—”
“You can’t be serious right now, Nicky! I’ve sat my stupid ass up here and watched another man kiss you, listened to you talk about how he can’t fuck, which means you’ve been giving it up to him regularly, and you wanna trip about me bringing a date?!” His nostrils were flaring. I don’t think I’d ever seen him so angry, but I didn’t care.
“It’s not about you bringing a date, it’s about you bringing her and you know it!”
He laughed, or chuckled. This negro chuckled!
“The hell are you laughing at?! You cheated on me with that bitch!”
He moved even closer to me, getting in my face and making me want to stick my tongue down his throat despite my anger. “She was my girlfriend! And you had a boyfriend at the time! You and I weren’t a real couple, Nicky, because that’s the way you wanted it! How the hell did I cheat on you?!”
“We had an agreement! You screwed her, Damon! You weren’t supposed to screw anyone but me!”
“I was a kid! Damn, Nick! This is insane! I was seventeen, eighteen years old and I didn’t look like this and she was throwing pussy at me! Of course I screwed her! But that was twelve fucking years ago!”
“You hurt me!”
He opened his mouth and then closed it, stared at me for a moment, and finally said, “You’re doing this, marrying him, to hurt me. That’s it, isn’t it?”
“W-what?”
“You don’t want him. I doubt if you even like him. You want me, but you’re trying to punish me, right?”
“No. I accepted Travis’s proposal before you moved back.”
“And you made sure to call and tell me about it.”
My mouth fell open. “Be-because you’re my friend! You think I’m doing this just to spite you?”
He nodded. “Yeah, I do. You wanna hurt me, but what you don’t realize is I’ve been hurting this whole damn time, baby.” He cupped my face in his hands. “I have loved you since I was seven years old, Nick. You have my heart. You’ve always had my heart, my mind and body, too. I spent all these years wanting you, missing you, thinking about how different things would’ve been had I reacted another way, but I was a kid, a kid! And I was scared shitless. You can’t keep holding some shit I did all those years ago against me. It’s not fair!”
I shook my head as my eyes filled with tears.
“I’m a man now. I’m not the same person I was in high school and neither are you, baby. I need for you to let this shit go and leave here with me. I need you to be with me, to choose me right here and right now.” He leaned in until his lips hovered over mine. “I need you to call this wedding off, baby. I love you, Nick. You could search the whole world and you’ll never find a man who’ll love you more. There’s no way you could.” Then he kissed me and my eyes fluttered closed.
“D-Damon—”
“I’m not afraid to beg and plead, because I need you, Nick. Look, I have been patient, I’ve put my pride aside. Shit, I gave up my dignity and became your side dude, a walking dick to you, because for a while there, I honestly thought I deserved to be treated that way, and I just knew you’d stop this shit. Do you have any idea what it did to me knowing that non-fucking motherfucker was touching you, that you were giving yourself to him? That shit kills me, Nick! And I can’t take it anymore. You gotta call it off, baby. Forgive me and call it off. Be mine, Nick. Be with me…”
I stared at him and shook my head. “I-I can’t.”
He sighed and dropped his hands from my face. “Okay…okay. Then it’s over. I’m done asking—begging you to forgive me. No more friendship. No nothing. I’m done. I won’t ask again, and I won’t watch you do this shit. I’m not coming to the wedding.”
“But-but you’re in the wedding.”
As he started for the door, he said, “Not anymore. Have a nice life, Nick, because I’m damn sure moving on with mine.”
*****
I was hysterical after Damon left the restroom, seemingly unending tears soaking the lace covering my bosom. When I finally stopped crying, Renee had to go announce to everyone that I wasn’t feeling well, because there was no way I could show my face. Plus, I was so upset about what Damon had said, I was in no condition to play the happy bride anyway. Renee was sure to let them know it was nothing serious and that I would be at the wedding with bells on. I think she told them I was fatigued from all the pre-wedding activities. That was true, but I was also…heartbroken.
Irrevocably so.
I wanted to call the wedding off and go to Damon. I wanted that so badly, I found myself sitting on the side of my bed in Renee’s house staring at my car keys on the dresser. To stop myself, I did what I always did when I threatened to break weak. I remembered why I couldn’t forgive
him. And after I played those memories in my brain several times, I grabbed my phone and called an old analgesic of mine—Maurice.
“I’m pregnant.”
Her voice was barely above a whisper. We sat in her car after school that day after she’d caught up with me as I was climbing into my truck, about to leave.
I sat there, my heart hammering in my chest, my stomach bubbling, my head spinning. Pregnant? I turned to face her, saw the tears in her eyes, and closed mine. “How?” I asked. It was a stupid question, but one with layers.
She looked up at me. “My birth control failed, I guess.”
“Failed? You guess? How, Nick?”
She shrugged as her tongue darted out to wet her lips. “I don’t know for sure. I read somewhere that antibiotics can cancel out the pill. Remember when you got strep back in February?”
I nodded. I was always catching whatever bug was being passed around at school, and Nicky always took care of me when I did. She always took care of me, period.
“Well, you gave it to me, remember? And I had to take antibiotics and we were…having a lot of sex like we always do, Dame. So I guess that’s how it happened.”
I nodded again and fixed my eyes on our fellow classmates as they laughed and talked on their way to their cars. Carefree, that’s what they were, probably thinking about stuff like ordering graduation invitations and going to prom, oblivious to what was unfolding inside Nicky’s car.
“You sure it’s mine?” I asked.
Her eyes narrowed as she inspected me. “What?!”
I flinched a little at the volume of her voice. “Is it-is it mine? I mean, there’s no way it could be anyone else’s?”
“Who the fuck else’s would it be, Damon?!” she shrieked. “Of all the stuff I thought you’d say, I never thought it would be something this stupid! I’ve never been with anyone but you! Ever!”
I held up my hands. “Okay, okay! I’m sorry, but I had to ask. I mean, you have a boyfriend, Greg, and—”
“I’m not having sex with Greg-fucking-Porter, Damon, and you know that! Just like you’re not having sex with Ivy Smith!”
Be with Me (Strickland Sisters Book 3) Page 10
