by Livia Grant
His rhythmic possession of her got more erratic as he neared completion. She welcomed his strong thrusts as he fought to bury himself deeper inside her. Their eyes met and she saw him struggling to extend their tryst. It was the final straw for Samantha. His increased pounding of her pussy pushed her over the edge into a glorious orgasm unlike anything she’d ever imagined.
Recognizing he’d brought her to completion, Jonah’s technique took on a desperate quality as if he were chasing something he couldn’t quite catch. Her body responded to his possession, never wanting it to end.
Samantha was disappointed when Jonah pulled out of her completely, choosing to deposit his load of cum on her tummy in warm spurts.
As soon as he was able, he rolled off Samantha to lie back on his back, pulling her along with him to end up in the same position they’d slept in for their earlier nap. Her right ear was pressed against his chest. His pounding heartbeat reassured her. It reminded her that he was really there with her and this hadn’t been just one of her dreams.
Three words sprung to the tip of her tongue. She didn’t want to scare him away and she certainly didn’t want to embarrass herself, but since she didn’t know what their future held, she knew she’d regret it forever if she didn’t say them.
Sleep was closing in on them both in the aftermath of their lovemaking. She managed to say the words just before she nodded off.
“Jonah… I love you.” She wasn’t sure he’d heard her. She’d tell him again, next time when she could see his eyes for a reaction. For now, she enjoyed his embrace. They’d been best friends once, but she’d been naive. As close as they’d been, they’d never shared the kind of intimacy they just had. Samantha closed her eyes, letting the first seed of real hope for a future with Jonah take root.
Surely, he had to feel their connection as strongly as she did. It comforted her as she fell into a deep sleep, surrounded by his unspoken love.
When she awoke alone just a few hours later, she knew that he’d done to her what she’d done to him just two nights before. It felt like a lifetime ago. The moment she opened her eyes, she knew she was alone in her apartment. Regret for not making him promise to stay again like she had earlier consumed her.
Samantha reached her hand out to touch the now empty bed where he’d been just a short time ago. She could still smell the evidence of their sex hanging in the room as she leaned up high enough to look at the alarm clock on her nightstand.
Almost midnight.
How long had he held her? As she reached out to the empty pillow, her hand came into contact with a piece of paper. She rolled to turn on the small lamp next to the bed, giving her enough light to see Jonah’s erratic handwriting on the front of a folded sheet of paper he’d stolen from her desk.
Her hands trembled as she opened the note and her worn locket and a huge wad of hundred dollar bills fell into her lap. With dread she began to read his note to her.
Dear Sami,
The locket, like my heart, will always belong to you. Keep them safe.
I’m not the right man for you, Samantha. We have to let each other go.
I suspect you’ll be pissed I left you my cash, but I’m serious about this. Use it to take better care of yourself. Even though we are apart, you are important to me.
Love,
Jonah
P.S. I think it’s best that we make a clean break, but you can always reach me for any emergency through Jaxson, Chase and Emma.
He’d left her without even leaving his contact info. Pure anguish closed in on her as she crumpled the note, hugging it to her heart as she burst into broken-hearted sobs. How could he do this to her again? This time would be worse, because she already knew firsthand how lonely life could be without her other half with her.
She didn’t think it was possible, but she felt worse now than after leaving Runway two nights ago after Cash had forced himself on her. At least then she’d had some righteous anger to sustain her. He’d torn down her anger, laying her completely bare. His desertion this time would surely kill her if she let it.
The siren’s call of a sharp blade called to her, exactly like a glass of bourbon to a recovering alcoholic. She’d promised him and she intended to keep her promise. She would not hurt herself. Not this night. No. If she was going to hurt anyone, it would be the man who’d deserted her.
Chapter 9
“I’m sorry, Mr. Carter, but I can’t serve you any more drinks. You’re already past our per-guest limit,” the bartender in the skimpy corset squeaked. He was glad Spencer had hired wimpy subs as bartenders. They may be decent eye-candy, but there was no way this submissive server would ever stand up to a dominant when they needed to.
His words slurred slightly as he worked his magic to get his way. “I’m sure your boss wouldn’t mind,” Jonah pressured her, holding his wrist out towards the black light scanner to put his next drink on his tab. He didn’t get the chance.
“Actually, her boss does mind,” came the answer from Master Spencer Cook who’d come to stand behind him. “You’re cut off or there will be no playing for you tonight.”
“Fine by me. No desire to play.” No truer words had ever been spoken. The only reason Jonah had beelined it to Black Light after leaving Samantha’s apartment was that he knew he could get shit-faced here and no asshole reporter could get a photo of him that would end up posted on social media within an hour.
His friend Chase was perched on the bar stool next to him and came to his defense, well, sort of. “Pour him another drink, Chrissy, but Spencer, I think you need to knock some sense into him again. The whipping from a few nights ago didn’t take.”
Jonah watched her pour another and then took a swig of his newly filled rock glass before retorting, “You don’t know shit about it, Chase.”
“So try me,” Chase interjected.
“You have no idea what it’s like.” Christ, he felt lame feeling sorry for himself.
As usual, Chase knew how to cut through his crap. “What? To be famous? To have women throw themselves at you everywhere you go, yet you can’t feel close to any of them? To question your goals in life, wondering if you’ve been fighting for the right things? To work non-stop because you have so many people depending on you so you work yourself into exhaustion?” His friend finally stopped his lecture to pin him with a knowing glare.
Despite how low he felt, Jonah managed a small smile. “Okay, so maybe you understand a little.”
Chase grinned at his small victory before taking a drag on his own adult beverage.
“Okay, smartass. What do you think I should do? So far I’ve had Frank, Ryan and Spencer offering up advice. I’m guessing you’ll be the fourth person to tell me to get back to work and stay busy to keep my mind off her.”
“Nope. Not even close.” Chase paused long enough to ensure Jonah was paying attention before adding on. “You need to cancel your concert schedule for the rest of the year and then go pick her up. Drive to the nearest airport and fly to a remote island resort. Stay there for a month without any intervention from the outside world and at the end of the month, either walk away knowing for sure it’s the right thing to do or take her to the first church you come to and marry her.”
Jonah’s pulse spiked at just the mention of marriage. He tried to laugh it off. “That’s it? Nothing in between? Like maybe dating?”
The normal jovial Chase got serious. “I thought you said you’ve known her since you were ten.” Jonah nodded. “So you think there’s something left to learn?”
Jonah struggled to articulate how he just knew he was all wrong for Samantha. All he could come up with in the pinch was “She’s an innocent. I’m… not.”
Chase was not impressed. “You’re a Dom. So teach her.”
“It won’t work. I’m too…” What? He finished with a lame, “fucked up.”
Spencer had taken a seat on the bar stool on the other side of him. He held out his wrist for the bartender to use her black light scanner to sca
n his barcode to charge the drink she had just poured for Jonah to the house account.
The master Dom ganged up on him. “Have you looked around? You’re so buried in your woe-is-me shit, you aren’t even into the dynamics going on around you.”
Jonah looked over his friend’s shoulder to take in the closest scene underway to the left of the bar. A naked submissive was restrained in the middle of an eight foot round tiled space with a drain under her. Two Doms had stepped up to whip out their dicks and were in the process of pissing all over the submissive’s body as if she were their personal urinal.
Beyond them, he could make out a breath play scene getting pretty intense.
“Okay, so I hang out with fucked-up people.”
Chase pulled a buzzing cell phone out of his pocket and looked down at a text.
“Hey, why the hell do you get to bring in a phone and no one else does?” Jonah complained.
“Perks of being the owner. And, it has no camera or recording capabilities.” When Chase looked up, he had a shit-eating grin on his face.
“What the hell are you smiling at?” Jonah’s words slurred. His newest cocktail was doing a nice number on numbing him.
“Jaxson and Emma just got here. Check it out.” Chase turned around on his stool to look across the dungeon. Jonah didn’t really give a shit so he took another swig of his drink instead.
Chase nudged his arm to get his attention. “You really should check them out.”
Jonah reluctantly turned on his stool just in time to see Samantha standing between Jaxson and Emma near the entrance. She was searching the dimly lit dungeon looking for something. Her search ended the second she saw him across the room.
Jonah’s heart was pounding fast like a running jackrabbit. That she’d tracked him down was amazing enough, but she was clearly a woman on a mission. She’d taken off like a bat out of hell, weaving herself across the dungeon, cutting directly through a punishment scene already in progress without paying any attention to the freaky shit underway.
Samantha didn’t stop until she stood a foot away from his bar stool. Even without a stitch of makeup on, she was beautiful. She’d thrown on a pair of worn jeans and a frilly blouse that was cut low enough that he could see she hadn’t even taken the time to put on a bra. When his assessment got to her face, he could see anger rolling off her.
“What the hell was that?” she accused.
“Hi.” His greeting was feeble.
“Don’t Hi me.” He was surprised he couldn’t see steam coming out of her ears she was so upset with him. She’d never looked more gorgeous.
“I tried to say goodbye,” he tried to soothe her ragged nerves.
“You didn’t say shit. You snuck out. I’ve never thought of you as a coward before.” Samantha reached into her front pocket and came out with his wad of hundred dollar bills. She threw them at him and they flitted to the floor in disarray. “And what the hell was the leaving me money? I’m not a paid whore, you know.”
He ignored her paid whore accusation and focused on her claim of his being a coward. “I didn’t sneak out. I left.”
“Yeah, well you are fucking great at that. It’s the staying you have a problem with.”
He leaned closer, shouting in his rising anger. “You say that like I have a choice.” When she looked at him skeptically, he added. “Maybe tonight I had a choice, but seven years ago I sure as hell didn’t.”
“Like hell you didn’t. We all have choices, Jonah. You could have stayed long enough tonight to at least tell me why you really left me seven years ago. You decided to slink away without even leaving your number. I had to call Jaxson and Emma to help track you down. I came here tonight knowing it would piss you off. I’m sure I’m messing up your normal hook-ups.”
Jonah had never seen Samantha like this. In so many ways, she was the same old friend he’d known for most of his life, but about half way through her shouting rant, he realized his Sami had grown up. She was this complex mix of vulnerability and strength, qualities so rare in his world. It intimidated him, reminding him no matter how rich and famous he became, he would never be good enough for Sam.
Their shouting match had gathered attention from around the dungeon. Jonah hadn’t noticed his friend Ryan was there with a sub until he joined their little group.
Ryan pushed his way into the center of the gathering of Jonah’s friends, placing his back to Jonah and facing off with Samantha who had to take a step back. “You have some nerve coming here after all you and your family have done to Jonah.”
Samantha froze, stunned after being verbally attacked by their mutual friend.
Jonah stood and confronted his band mate. “Let it go, Ryan. It isn’t her fault.”
Ryan turned on him. “The hell it’s not! It took you years to recover from their bullshit. I’m not gonna let the Stones do this to you again, goddammit.”
Jonah tried to pull Ryan away from Sam, but she wasn’t helping. She held Ryan’s other arm, attempting to hold him back while she pelted him with questions. “What is it you think we did to him? He won’t talk to me. Please, tell me Ryan.”
Ryan looked at Sam like she was from outer space. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
Jonah succeeded in pulling Ryan from Sam’s grip. “Let me handle this.” When Ryan stopped to look at Jonah, he added. “They fucked with her too, man.”
Ryan looked skeptical. “Are you sure you aren’t just thinking with your johnson?”
“Fuck you.”
Ryan glanced between Jonah and a shell shocked Samantha before backing down. “I sure as hell hope you know what you’re doing. You’re not some broke eighteen-year-old with nothing to lose anymore. You’re playing with fire. You hurt their little girl and they’ll come at you with everything they’ve got.”
Unfortunately, Ryan was right. Frank was a good lawyer, but he’d be no match legally if the Stone men decided to take Cash Carter on. For a brief moment, teenage insecurities surfaced, but Jonah pushed them down.
What good is being a millionaire if I can’t buy a good lawyer?
“I’ll be ready this time,” he reassured Ryan.
“You’re really gonna do this, aren’t you?” When he didn’t answer, Ryan added. “Are you ready to walk away from all this?” He waved his hand around to indicate Black Light. Jonah knew he meant their BDSM lifestyle.
He answered truthfully, knowing Samantha was listening. “Honestly, I don’t have a fucking clue how this is going to shake out. All I know is that for once, Sam and I are going to try to figure it out without any outside intervention.” He felt her hand on his arm and when he turned to look at her, she had tears streaming down her face. He spoke directly to her. “You’re probably gonna regret coming here.”
“Never,” she whispered.
“There are so many things you don’t know about me,” he warned.
She smiled through her tears. “But there are so many things I do know, and honestly, I can’t wait to learn all I’ve missed.”
“I’ll remind you that when you’re freaking out.”
For a moment, he’d forgotten they weren’t alone. Ryan reminded him. “Fucking great. No offense, but I can’t stay here and watch this. I’m going back to New York ahead of you. I assume you’ll be back in time for us to leave on Tuesday night?”
Jonah saw Samantha’s fear when she realized no matter what, he had responsibilities that would take him away from her in only two days.
“Yeah, man. I’ll be there,” Jonah confirmed.
Ryan left without saying goodbyes.
Jaxson and Emma had arrived to stand next to Chase throughout the earlier soap opera style reunion. Jonah was very aware his friends had been listening to the entire interaction. It would have been impossible for them not to.
He had been so focused on Sam that he’d blocked out the sounds of the dungeon, but as he widened his view, he realized Samantha, the innocent, was standing in the middle of a BDSM club that would most likely have her
running in horror within minutes. He was also very aware they’d attracted attention. It wasn’t every day that the famous Cash Carter was dressed down by an unknown woman who was acting the antithesis of a submissive.
Well duh. That’s because she isn’t a sub. She’s total vanilla. She doesn’t belong here.
Before Jonah could think fast enough to get her out of the dungeon, Jaxson held his hand out to Emma. She went into his arms, but they didn’t try to hide their conversation from their friends around them despite the fact they were discussing something very private.
Jaxson informed Emma, “You’ve earned a punishment, you know that, right?”
Jonah could see Emma was on the brink of tears as she replied with a quiet, “Yes, sir.”
“And you remember what I told you would happen the next time you broke your most important rule?” Jaxson’s voice brokered no argument. He was in full Dom mode.
“Oh God, not that. Please. Can’t we go upstairs or home to the loft?”
“Emma, I made you a promise and I’m going to keep it. I caught you red handed putting yourself down and calling yourself fat again. I won’t put up with it. You’ll be punished at the club tonight.”
The salacious scene had stolen all of Samantha’s attention. Jonah, on the other hand, didn’t take his eyes off Sami. He could see her breaths starting to become erratic and short as she watched with wide eyes as her friend Emma was drawn into a new and scary reality from Sami’s point of view.
Jonah detected Emma’s genuine fear and wasn’t surprised at all when Jaxson reminded his submissive, “You know you can always safeword if you really want us to stop, right?”
Emma stood stock still, pondering her fate until Jaxson prompted her again. “Are you safewording?”
