When I arrived back home at the end of the day, Summer was in the living room, but the kids were nowhere to be found.
“The kids are next door with Kenny and Abby,” Summer said right away. “I think we need to talk.”
Those dreaded words were never a good sign, both in a relationship and with a nanny, and I hated hearing them. I sat down and hoped this wasn’t going to turn out to be what I thought it was. I really didn’t want Summer to feel bad about what happened. I was fine with going back to the way things were if that was what she wanted.
“I’m going to give my notice; I don’t think I can keep working for you. I know you have a big trip coming up, though, and I’ll stay on to ensure the kids aren’t disturbed over that time. But when you get back, I’m going to stop working for you.”
Summer was calm and so matter-of-fact about it that I didn’t like her tone at all. At least she was going to stay on until after my trip, but she was looking at me as if I’d done something wrong, and I was pretty sure there had been two of us in that bed, both times.
“Okay,” I said as I got up and walked away.
“That’s it. Just okay?”
“I mean if you really don’t care about any of this, and you want to leave, I guess you should leave. It’s just really confusing because I had feelings for you and …well that doesn’t matter.”
“I’m the nanny, Tyler. I had to hide under the blankets when Thomas came in because you were ashamed of me.”
“Not true! You hid under the blankets, and that was fine. Obviously, no kid needs to see his parent making love. But that was a normal thing. You’re making a big deal out of nothing.”
“I sleep in your spare room, and you pay me,” she said as she stood up and stormed into the kitchen with me. “You slept with me, and you pay me. Do you even understand how that feels for me as a woman?”
“What? No! It’s not like that. Yeah, I pay you because you’re the nanny. Not because you slept with me. God, Summer, don’t twist this around like some crazy woman.”
The word left my mouth, and I instantly regretted it. My father had once told me never to call a woman crazy, or I’d truly regret it. There was just something about that word that really pissed women off, and I knew it, yet I still said it to Summer.
“Crazy? Oh, I’m crazy now?” Summer stood there staring at me for a moment as I rolled my eyes.
“I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Fine, you know what. I’ll take my crazy ass out of your life. How is that?”
She stormed up the stairs, and I followed her. She pulled one of her big suitcases out of the closet and started throwing her things into it. This had escalated quickly, and I was panicking as I watched her.
“Summer, I need you. You are great with the kids. Please don’t do this?” I said calmly.
“What? You want a crazy woman taking care of your kids? That doesn’t seem safe. Don’t worry, I’m leaving, and I’ll send Patrick over to get my things tomorrow.”
“Summer seriously, don’t go.”
“I was quitting because I liked you. I didn’t want to be your employee, but I wanted to date you. And you ruined it all. You calling me crazy because of what? Because you’re mad that I’m not going to take care of the kids anymore?”
I took a deep breath as I tried to figure out what to do. I didn’t understand she was leaving because she actually wanted a relationship. I thought she was leaving because she felt like a prostitute over getting paid to be a nanny. I honestly wouldn’t want her to feel that way, but things were so out of control at the moment I couldn’t imagine anything I would say could make things any better.
“I’m sorry; I didn’t mean you were crazy. Just that the way you were acting …” I trailed off. That didn’t sound any better than actually calling her crazy.
“Don’t worry about it. I’m sure there are a dozen other girls you can hire who would love to take care of the kids. Good luck,” she said as she grabbed her heavy suitcase and made her way to the stairs.
“Let me carry that for you,” I said as I took the suitcase. “You’ll hurt yourself going down those stairs.”
Reluctantly, she let me carry the suitcase down the stairs. I held onto it in hopes that we could talk, and she would calm down a little. Her face was red with anger as she stood in front of me, and I felt the emotion in her eyes. She was hurt. I’d done that to her, and it was a horrible feeling. I had successfully made it years without seeing that level of pain in a woman’s eyes, and it sucked to know I’d made her feel that way.
“I can take it now,” she said as she pulled her suitcase away from me.
“Summer, you don’t have to go. We can work this out.”
“Goodbye, Tyler. I’ll stop over to the neighbors and give the kids a proper goodbye as well.”
The kids. My stomach spun around, and I felt like I was going to vomit. They were going to miss Summer so much. They loved her. They really cared about her a lot, and my stupid behavior had just screwed that up for us all.
“I’ll drive you. Where do you need to go?” I offered in the last ditch effort to get more time to talk to her and convince her to change her mind.
“Don’t worry about it; I’m not your problem anymore,” she said sternly as she pulled her suitcase out the front door.
I stood and watched as she left it near the garage and then went over to the neighbor’s house to say goodbye to the kids. This was bad. This was downright horrible. She had offered to stay until after my trip, and somehow, I had just ruined that. I’d taken what was the best nanny the kids had ever had and made her so angry that she was storming off without even getting to say a proper goodbye or prepare the kids for what was coming.
It didn’t take long after Summer left in her Uber before the kids were back at the house crying. Surprisingly, it was hitting Thomas really hard. He was more of a distant kid normally, and his tears hit me really hard.
“Why did she have to leave,” he sobbed as I held onto him. “She was the nicest person ever. She played dinosaurs with me and would let me be the T. Rex.”
“She still really cares about you guys. But she had to go.”
“Dad, what did you do?” Faith said as she crossed her arms and looked angrily at me from the other side of the couch.
Her tears had dried up, and she was suddenly really angry at me. I wasn’t exactly sure how she knew this was all because of something I did. But she clearly thought it was.
“What do you mean?”
“You are always mean to the nannies. You did something; I know it.” She had a stern look on her face as she accused me, and I couldn’t lie to her.
“We had an argument, and I said something mean.”
“Well, go apologize and fix this. You were mean, and you always tell us to apologize when we are mean.”
She said it as if things were that simple in adult life. I knew they were not. Of course, I would apologize to Summer, but the damage was done, and I wasn’t sure whether I would be able to convince her that I truly didn’t mean to put her down like that.
It wasn’t just about my trip anymore. I could always call on the in-laws or some other family if I really had to. But I didn’t want to. They would never let me forget that I actually needed their help, but I could do it. The thing that was bothering me the most was how bad I’d made Summer feel. How she seemed to question what was happening between us as some sort of thing I did often with nannies. It wasn’t. The emotions that were going on between Summer and me over the last month weren’t something I’d felt in a very long time.
“I’ll try and apologize,” I said as Faith continued to stare at me.
“Not try, Dad. You will do it. You find out where she is, and you tell her you were stupid, and you are sorry.”
“Okay, Okay,” I said as I started to laugh at how serious Faith was being.
By this time, Thomas had stopped crying, and he moved over and sat next to his sister. He realized she was mad at me, so he al
so crossed his arms and angrily looked at me. These two meant business.
“It’s not funny, Dad. If you hurt someone’s feelings, it’s just as bad as hurting them with your fist. We learned that at school.”
“I wasn’t laughing about that. You are right,” I said as I leaned in to give them a hug.
At first, they both tried to pull away, but I wouldn’t let them. I squeezed them tight and didn’t let them go for a good minute. My kids were growing up to be pretty darn amazing children. Claire would have been so proud of them. She would have been much less proud of how I’d handled things with Summer, though.
Even though we couldn’t have planned for life without each other, Claire and I did have one memorable conversation about what we would do if one of us passed away early in life. I remember telling her I’d pine away loving her forever and never even look at another woman. She slapped me playfully and told me not to say such a thing. She lovingly looked at me and said she wanted me to find the happiness, and I wanted the same for her.
Claire would have liked Summer; I was sure of it. The lighthearted way Summer cared for the kids and worked so hard to make them happy would have made Claire really happy too. I knew I had to find Summer and apologize. Even if that meant she didn’t come back as a nanny, maybe it would be possible to mend our friendship so we could actually go on a date or get to know each other. Although I really did want her to stay with the kids for the two weeks so that I could go to my business trip. The in-laws were dreadful, and the whole reason I didn’t use them to watch the kids was that they constantly picked on them and tried to make the kids into porcelain dolls instead of letting them actually have fun.
My two-week trip would be torture for the kids if they had to stay with family. I knew I had to convince Summer to come back, even if it was just for the two weeks.
Chapter 13
Summer
How dare he turn this whole thing around and call me crazy. My blood was boiling as I climbed into the Uber and drove away. I’d been nice and offered to stay through his trip. All I wanted was him to acknowledge that we couldn’t be sleeping together while he was paying me to be his nanny – one of the two things had to stop.
When I got back to my apartment, I nearly killed myself dragging the suitcase up the stairs. It was so heavy that, at one point, I fell over and landed on my butt as I yanked on the darn thing.
“Do you want me to help you with that?” Patrick laughed from the top of the stairs.
“Yes, dear God, please. I can’t believe how friggin heavy this is.”
“You packed it.”
“Remind me never to pack this much in one suitcase again.” I laughed as he easily grabbed it and brought the bag the rest of the way up to our apartment.
“I absolutely will not say that to you. You’ll just give me a dirty look and tell me how much you need every single thing you have in your bag.”
“You’re probably right.”
It felt good to be back in my apartment with Patrick. Although I hadn’t been out on my own for too long, I liked our little apartment and the independence I had. After being at Tyler’s house for the last month, it was nice to know I could sit and do whatever I wanted for as long as I wanted without getting interrupted.
“So you quit?” Patrick asked as he sat with me on the couch.
“I offered to stay through his trip, but then things just blew up and got crazy. Literally, he called me crazy.”
“He did not!” Patrick said as his jaw dropped, and he looked truly shocked at what I had just said. “He didn’t seem like the sort of guy who would say or do something like that.”
“I know, right? I didn’t think it was too much to ask to talk like a couple of adults and make a decision on whether I was going to be the nanny or date him. I just couldn’t be both. It was uncomfortable, and I didn’t like it.”
“That seems reasonable. How did it end up with him calling you crazy?”
The truth was I didn’t even remember why he had said it or what I had said first. All I knew was I was yelling at him, and he was yelling at me, and what I thought was going to be an easy conversation turned into a disaster.
“I’m not even sure. But it’s over now. I packed my bag and left. I said goodbye to the kids, and that was the end of it.”
“Wow, I bet the kids are going to miss you. From what you’ve told me, they really love you a lot.”
“I love them too. That was why I was planning to stay through his trip. I didn’t want them to have to work with a new nanny or have his strange family come and watch them. I just wanted it to be an easy transition without anything too hard for them. I was even going to help with the hiring if he wanted me to. But nothing happened the way I wanted it to.”
“This is so sad,” Patrick said as he started crying. “He was really handsome. I thought for sure the two of you were going to run off and live happily ever after.”
“Did you and your boyfriend break up?” I asked as Patrick continued crying.
There was no way he cared this much about my job and the fight I had. I knew something had to been going on with him and his boyfriend. Over the last month, I hadn’t had much time to check in with everyone.
“Yeah, we broke up.”
“Maybe we should go out dancing tonight? Do you think the girls have time?”
“I bet they could come out for a little bit. We all need a good de-stressing night. We could go back to Club Lively, and whoever wants to stay late can stay, and if people need to leave earlier, they can leave. Oh, wait, what about that deal you made with your father about helping you out?” Patrick asked as he sat back down.
“Actually, I talked with my dad last week, and he is going to just pay my rent. We decided that was better than giving me money since I’m sometimes horrible with money. So, I’ll never be late with my half of the rent again. Isn’t that awesome?”
“Yeah, man, that takes some serious pressure off. I like that plan so much.”
I had been really rotten to Patrick by not paying my part of the rent, and it was weighing on me. I’d already planned on paying the whole rent next month and was going to wait and surprise him, though. I was going to sell off some of my shoes and put the money into savings while I decided what to do next.
For fun, I was going to meet with a modeling agent again and see if there was a place for me in that world. I loved fashion so much and just couldn’t believe that I was too old for the industry. I was open to modeling in commercials, magazines, and pretty much anything would work for me.
“Let’s go get our party on tonight,” I said as I leaned over and gave Patrick a big hug. “You deserve to let loose and relax a little. That jerk wasn’t the right one for you. We are going to find you the right guy sooner or later. I just know it.”
“Thanks, Summer. I like this new you. You are much nicer than you used to be.”
It was probably the truth. Since working with Tyler and the kids, I felt like I was noticing other people and the struggles they had to go through in their lives. I’d been so self-absorbed before that I probably wouldn’t have been friends with myself a month prior.
“Let’s get our butts ready and go dancing,” I said excitedly. “We are going to dance, drink, and have the best night ever.”
“I’ve got to work in the morning,” Patrick said.
“It’s fine; let’s just get the girls over here, and we can go out. I’m sure everyone is going to want to go home by midnight. That’s cool. We can still have a blast.”
Patrick and I got ready and waited for Amy and Rebecca to finish work and meet us at the apartment. It felt frigging amazing to be out and not have to worry about any responsibilities. I did my hair and makeup but decided to wear jeans and a cute tank top instead of a dress. I truly just wanted to visit with my friends and relax.
“What’s up ladies?” I yelled as Amy and Rebecca pulled up to our apartment. “We will be right down.”
It only took us about a half hour to get t
o the club and inside. Obviously, Monday nights weren’t the busiest, but that was just fine for us. The four of us took over the dance floor and literally danced our night away. We took a few breaks for drinking and resting, but other than that, we tried to stay out on the floor as much as possible. It wasn’t very often that we came to the club and there was actually room on the dance floor.
“This is the best night ever,” Patrick screamed over the music. “I needed this so bad.”
Even though we had been out the previous weekend, it just wasn’t the same. Patrick still had a boyfriend then, and I still had a job. Everything was different for the two of us, and we were taking advantage of every moment.
Just before midnight, I was sipping on a huge cosmopolitan while I tried to cool off. I could notice that everyone was getting tired, and they were probably going to head out, but I just didn’t want to leave yet.
“Hey girl, I’m glad to see you relaxing and having fun. We should go to lunch sometime,” Amy said as she gave me a kiss on the cheek.
“I am going to pick you up for a nail appointment later this week, my treat,” Rebecca added as I gave her a hug as well.
“I can’t wait. Drive safely, Amy,” I said as she held onto Rebecca. “Thanks for being the designated driver for our lush friend here.”
“No problem. I couldn’t drink and get up to work in the morning anyway. You two have fun.”
“And then there was two,” I said to Patrick as I sipped my drink.
“Actually, you’ve got an admirer,” Patrick said as a man was walking toward us. “Seriously, how do they know you’re not with me? I could be straight. They don’t know that.”
Patrick was a very muscular guy and handsome too. I didn’t know he was gay when I first met him, but guys seemed to know when we were out at clubs. Maybe there was a vibe that other guys could pick up on and girls just couldn’t?
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