I stood in the entryway as the kids played and hugged on their dad. Tyler was by far the most gorgeous man I’d laid eyes on in such a long time. He wasn’t just handsome because of his good looks, though. My feelings toward him made me like him much more than I had when we first met. But my feelings didn’t matter right now because for the first time in my life I wasn’t thinking about myself and was actually thinking about what would be best for Tyler and the kids. A nanny who could just be the nanny was what they needed.
“Hey guys, why don’t you go change into your swim suits and we will run outside in the sprinkler for a little bit tonight,” I said as I motioned for them to head upstairs.
The look in Tyler’s eye made me think he knew that something was up. He waited until the kids were upstairs and then moved closer to me and leaned in to kiss me. I wanted to kiss Tyler, as I loved kissing him. But not now, my feelings were too much, and I honestly believed this thing between the two of us just wasn’t going to work.
“What’s going on?” Tyler asked as he felt I was pulling away from him.
“So today I did some interviews for your new nanny,” I said with a playful smile trying to lighten the mood a little bit. “Don’t get mad, though. I just wanted to surprise you by taking the pressure off and finding someone that I could train and make sure the transition went really smoothly.”
He was caught off guard but still not angry. Things were going better than I had hoped as he smiled back at me and waited for me to continue with what I was saying. My nerves were getting the better of me, and I felt my hands starting to shake as I continued.
“I found a woman that is lovely. She lives just down the street with her husband and two children. She would not be able to live here, but I don’t think that is a requirement, is it?”
“No,” Tyler shook his head as he looked skeptically at me.
“So her name is Kimberly, and she’s from Australia, and I invited her to come over for dinner tonight. It’s just an informal thing so everyone can meet her and see what your feelings are.”
Tyler didn’t answer me. His stare got more intense, and he pressed his lips together like he wanted to say something but was holding back. I was okay with that. If Tyler would just give my plan a chance, I knew it was going to be best for the kids.
“Okay,” he finally said.
“Okay?” I replied excitedly and gave him a hug. “You are going to love her so much. I think this is going to be such a good matchup for you all. The kids are getting bigger, and they don’t need someone here all the time. You guys could probably manage the mornings together, and she could just start after school if you wanted to. That would save you money, not that you need to save money. But you know what I mean.”
“Summer, it’s okay. I’m happy to meet her, and I like that you’ll be around to train her. Then you and I can explore this,” he said as he pointed to me and then himself. “I’d really like to explore what we have going on.”
This was the point where I had to lie. If I had told Tyler right then and there that I wasn’t planning on dating him, our night would have gone horribly. Instead, I told a lie of omission as I moved the conversation forward and didn’t respond at all to what he was saying.
“Kimberly is going to be here in a half hour. We can all play outside for a little bit, and then you could prepare some of your amazing barbecue?”
“Sounds like a plan,” he said as we went into the kitchen to start marinating the meat.
I stayed as silent as possible throughout the evening and allowed Tyler and the kids to interact with Kimberly. She fit in well with everyone, and the kids liked her right away. I think because she was a mother herself, she was at ease around the children and looked much more comfortable playing with them than I ever had.
While we all ate dinner, the kids asked Kimberly tons of questions, and even Tyler had a few questions of his own. It was delightful to see the relationship blooming among everyone and really put me at ease over the decision I’d made.
“So how do you like Kimberly?” I asked the kids while they were helping me put the dishes in the sink.
“She’s really nice,” Faith said. “I think she will be nice to us.”
“Yeah, she seems a lot nicer than I am.” I laughed.
“No,” Thomas said as he hugged me. “You’re still my favorite.”
“Thanks, buddy.” I hugged him back and kneeled down to talk to him. “Remember, I’m still going to be your friend no matter what.”
“I remember.”
“Okay, let’s get the ice cream and ask Kimberly if she wants to be your new nanny.”
I brought the ice cream out and gave it to Tyler to start scooping. As I stood next to him, I felt his hand gently touch mine, and it made me so sad. I liked him and cared about him a lot, but it wouldn’t work between us. We just weren’t right for one another, or maybe the situation and the timing wasn’t right.
“Do you think Kimberly will work? The kids like her, and I like her.”
“Yeah, are you going to train her for a week or so?”
“Yep, I’ll stay for a week and teach her as much as I can. Then I have some exciting modeling jobs, so I’ll get to do some traveling for a little bit,” I said as I started to introduce the idea that I wasn’t going to be around.
“So when can we go out on our official date?”
I paused for a long time as I took the ice cream bowls to the kids and tried to avoid answering Tyler right then and there. I really wanted to finish this dinner up with Kimberly before Tyler and I had our conversation.
“Kimberly, so how would you feel about starting some training tomorrow?” I said avoiding Tyler’s question altogether.
“Yes, I think that would be lovely.”
“Welcome aboard,” Tyler said as he shook her hand, and we all sat down to eat our ice cream.
He was staring at me from across the table, and I knew he felt the tension between the two of us building. We finished our ice cream, and the kids and I walked Kimberly to the door and said our goodbyes. We made plans to meet up in the early afternoon the next day so I could go over some of the things around the house first and then take Kimberly with me to pick the kids up from the school.
The second the front door closed, I knew Tyler wanted to talk to me. He came straight up to me and stood there like he was waiting for me to tell him an answer right away.
“Hey guys,” he said to the kids. “Go get in the showers. One upstairs and one downstairs.” The kids did as he asked and ran to the bathrooms, which left me standing alone with Tyler in the living room. “What’s going on?” he asked with a suspicion that I was keeping something from him.
“I like you Tyler. I really do, and I don’t want this to seem like something weird.”
“What?”
“I’m going to concentrate on my career for a little bit.”
“That’s great. I’m excited for you. I like Kimberly, and the kids do too. This sounds like something exciting. So why do you not look excited? Why do you look like there’s something bad that you need to tell me?”
“I don’t think you and I should date,” I said as I looked away from him. “I’m going to concentrate on my career.”
Tyler looked at me angrily and then walked away. He walked into the kitchen and then back to me as if he was trying to find the words for what he wanted to say to me. Clearly, he was not happy about my decision, and his pacing back and forth continued for a good five minutes before he finally stopped and said something to me.
“Okay, we can talk down the road. I wish you all the best in your career.”
“That’s it? There’s nothing else you want to say?”
“Nope. Thank you for staying on this week to train the new nanny. I appreciate it, and I know the kids do as well. I’m going to go tuck them in now,” he said and went upstairs without giving me a hug or anything.
Chapter 16
Tyler
“How is the new nanny working out
?” Rob asked when we went back to our regular work schedules a few weeks after our huge success.
“She’s good. I really like having her just after school. Me and the kids have a good morning routine going on, and I think it’s helping them learn some responsibility since they know I need a little help from them in the morning.”
“Have you talked to Summer?”
This was a hot question for me. Summer and I had hardly talked at all during her last week in the house, and the day she left we just said an awkward goodbye. I was pissed. There was no denying it, and I just couldn’t pretend like there was another emotion to describe what I was feeling.
After everything the two of us had been through, I honestly thought we had a chance. A chance at something; I wasn’t sure what it was, but I was open to exploring it and figuring things out. But I also understood that Summer wanted a life of her own, and I didn’t want to say something stupid to her in the process of her leaving. Being silent was the best possible choice for me.
“I didn’t talk to her.”
“Not at all?” Rob asked as he smiled back at me, and I noticed he finally got his yellow tooth fixed.
“Not really. I was trying to let her do her thing and not ruin our goodbye. Nice new tooth, though.” I laughed as he kept smiling with his cheesy grin.
“Looks good, doesn’t it?”
“Yeah, you’ll be picking up the ladies again, no problem.”
“I’m sorry things didn’t work out with you and Summer. She was a beautiful woman and really good with kids. I think you two would have been nice together.”
Summer was the first woman I’d even considered a future with since Claire had passed away. It stung pretty deep that she moved on without me. Of course, I didn’t want to admit that things would be alright, and I would move on because deep down, I really thought Summer was the one.
I’d had dreams where Claire gave me permission to be with Summer. I even imagined that Summer and Claire would have been good friends if they had ever known each other. So for me to admit that Summer was gone and nothing would happen between us was hard.
“It was hard to let her go, but I guess I’ll move on,” I muttered.
***
Six months later, Rob and I found ourselves in the midst of a very similar situation. We had been out to lunch, and a bus drove by with Summer’s picture on it. Obviously, her new modeling career was taking off, and it was really exciting to see.
“So why did you let her go?” Rob asked between bites of his sandwich.
“What?”
“Summer, why did you let her go?”
“It was time for her to move on. She wanted her own career and to explore the whole modeling thing. I didn’t let her do anything – she was a grown woman who made up her own mind.”
“Oh, so models go on dates?” he asked with a cheeky grin while he continued eating his sandwich.
“I’m sure they do, but she left. She didn’t want to go on a date.”
“Did she say that? Did she say, ‘Tyler I don’t want to date you,’ or did you imply it because you were angry she was leaving?”
“You know what?” I said as I stared Rob down. “Since you got this girlfriend, you’ve been a real ass.”
“What? I was just telling her about you and Summer, and she brought up that you were a big baby for not going after the woman you clearly cared about.”
“Oh, your new girlfriend Bambi said this?”
“Her name is Barbie,” Rob corrected me. “But she’s really smart, and I didn’t have a good answer when she asked me why you didn’t go after this girl. If you care about her, why would it matter if she was off doing her modeling thing? Wouldn’t you still want to at least ask her out and see how things went?”
“I don’t like this new girlfriend of yours,” I said grumpily as I ignored his questions and finished eating.
I did want to ask Summer out still. I’d been thinking about her for months, and every time I saw an advertisement that she was on, all I could think about was calling her and telling her how amazing it was that she followed her dream and it was coming true.
A couple of times I even picked up the phone to call her but then chickened out and ended up hanging up. I even called and talked to Patrick once a few months ago to see how Summer was doing and if he thought she would be receptive to me visiting her some time. Since he had helped arrange my surprise visit to the club when she first quit working for me, Patrick had become an ally for me.
“Fine, you do whatever makes you happy,” Rob said halfway under his breath. “But I’m just saying that you don’t seem all that happy.”
“Fine, I’ll text her right now and see what she’s doing?” I said as I pulled out my phone.
“No. It has to be a call,” Rob replied as if he knew women so well and knew exactly what I should be doing in this situation.
“Fine, I’ll text Patrick and see what’s going on and when would be a good time to call. Is that any better? You know I’m not sure I like this new you all that much. You’ve got some extreme attitude with this new confidence level.”
I sent a text to Patrick to see how things were going and if he thought I could get in contact with Summer. I expected to put my phone away and then get a message sometime later in the day from Patrick, but instead, he called me right away.
“Hey Patrick, how are things going?”
“Good, work is good. I’m good, as for Summer – you should come to this kickoff party tonight. She just got a gig with a perfume company, and they are having a party downtown. I can get you on the list if you’d like to come.”
“On the list?” I laughed as if we were part of the Hollywood elite but in the midst of downtown Chicago.
“Sure, I’ll come. It will be good to catch up with you guys.”
“Okay, I’ll have you added. It’s down at the pier. There will be a giant tent. You should be able to give your name, and then they will let you in.”
“Perfect, thanks, Patrick.”
As I hung up, I felt a little nervous about the whole thing. It had been six months since I’d even talked to Summer. She clearly wasn’t interested in what I had to say since she hadn’t reached out to me either. But I was still going to go and see her. I could congratulate her on how well she was doing and make sure things between us weren’t ending on a bad note. Even if it ended up being a disaster, it was some closure for me, and I was okay with that.
I took an Uber to the venue to make sure I didn’t have to worry about driving home if I ended up drinking a little too much. I’d been to events like this before, and the alcohol was usually flowing freely. Depending on how well my conversation went with Summer, it was entirely possible I was going to drown my sorrows away in a few glasses of alcohol throughout the evening.
As my car pulled up, I wasn’t sure I was even at the right place. This tent wasn’t anything like I had expected. Instead of being a small tent that might hold fifty to one hundred people, this tent looked more like a convention center. It spanned the distance of at least a football field and was large enough to be a circus tent, although it was plain white and not multi colored like a circus tent would be.
“Name?” the scary looking man that was managing the entrance said.
“Tyler English.”
“Okay,” he checked me off the list and then stepped out of the way so I could go into the tent.
Inside, the place was decorated in aqua blue lighting with the sound of waves crashing against the shore played in the background. The new perfume was pictured throughout the event, and I felt like I was inside a real building and not a tent at all.
There were hundreds of people there, and I wasn’t sure I’d ever find Summer at all. I grabbed a drink and started mingling as I kept my eye out for Summer or Patrick. It was a madhouse, though, and at some point, the music started playing loudly and the lights dimmed as the dance floor filled with people. I waited near the bar for a while and hoped I would see Summer walking by, b
ut when that didn’t work, I decided to work my way around the edges of the party and see if I could get a good glimpse of her from that vantage point.
Finally, when I had made it all the way to the opposite side of the tent, I saw a crowd of people talking to a beautiful blonde haired woman. From the back, I couldn’t be sure it was Summer, but when I got close enough to hear her laugh, I knew it was really her.
She looked much more sophisticated than when she had worked for me. Her hair was elegantly designed in a sweeping updo, and she had on a silky blue dress with a low cut back. I couldn’t help noticing she wasn’t wearing four-inch hi-heels like many of the other women were. Instead, she had on comfortable sandals that matched the ocean theme of the party.
I joined the group of people around Summer as they were all chatting and laughing while trying to impress her. It was an odd feeling to be so close to her while she had no idea I was there.
She looked stunning and like someone who wouldn’t have bothered to notice I was alive. Yet in a moment, she turned and looked right at me. Our eyes locked together, and for a second, I hoped that she would at least acknowledge I was there. I would have taken a simple nod and nothing else – I was willing to accept just about anything.
To my surprise, she seemed genuinely excited to see me there as she pushed through the crowd of people and gave me a huge hug.
“Tyler, I didn’t know you were coming,” she said so sweetly that I suddenly got extremely nervous to be there talking to her. “This is a pretty cool party, isn’t it?”
“Um, yeah. You’re kind of a big deal now.”
“No, it’s the company. They do this for every new launch. But wow, I’m so glad you came. How are the kids doing? How is the new nanny?”
“Good, we are all good,” I said as I stared at her in total awe. “You look amazing.”
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