Wolf's Secret (Alpha's Hunger Book 2)

by Carina Wilder

  Tristan drew his chin down and shot me a dubious gaze. “I could smell your arousal,” he said. “Don’t forget what I am.”

  “I thought your brother was you,” I said. “Of course I was aroused. Besides, I’d been watching your friend Estella going at it with…” I stopped short of describing the ménage that had frozen me in place. There was no point, at least not right now. “Look, it doesn’t even matter. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you I’d seen him before. But the truth is that I didn’t want to tell you. I was so happy, Tristan. I thought things were good between us. I didn’t want to ruin our time together with things that seemed unimportant. I didn’t want your ass of a brother coming between us.”

  “Unimportant,” he said. “You have no idea how important these things actually are…” With that his voice trailed off, like he couldn’t find a way to expand on the thought without breaking one or both of us.

  “You see? This is what you do,” I said. “Every single time. You give me a hint of what’s going on in that head of yours, a mere morsel of information, then you cut yourself off. Did you ever stop to think that I need more than tiny bites? I need to know you, Tristan. I need to understand the man I…” But this time it was I who cut myself off, my heart pounding hard.

  I’d nearly said I loved him.

  “You what?” he asked.

  “I care about,” I said, my eyes welling up again with hot tears. “I care about you. But I can’t do this, not anymore. Not like this. Not if you have a giant wall around your heart and mind that pushes me away over and over again. You can’t have a relationship with someone if you’re going to hide the truth about who you really are from them constantly. Look, I get that I’m guilty of not telling you I saw Krane. But you’re hiding so much more than I ever have. I can’t live with the double standard anymore. I really can’t.”

  My chest tightened. I was proud and devastated at once to have let out how I was feeling. It was about damn time that he knew how frustrating it was to try and get close to him.

  Tristan wove his fingers together, his knuckles going white with tension. “I suppose I do have a wall up,” he admitted. “But I can’t tear it down as easily as you like to think. You don’t understand how hard it is for me. How hard it is to be close to someone.”

  “Damn right I don’t,” I said. “Because you won’t tell me. So…I think you should leave. Or else I should, before things get worse.”

  “Ariana…” he said, his eyes fixed on the rug beneath his feet.

  “What?” I snarled.

  “Sit.”

  I obeyed hesitantly, fighting back the tears that clouded my vision. I was grateful for them; I didn’t want to focus my eyes on him anymore. He looked too good—too handsome, too contrite. Too much like the man I loved.

  If I let my guard down he’d make me feel bad, then I’d be a mess and forgive him anything and everything. I needed to be angry right now.

  “I do want you to know me,” he muttered. “Those things I said to you, back at the ball—they were cruel, I know. They came from a place of deep anger. My wolf was pushing his way through me, trying to unleash. He wanted to go at my brother, to tear his throat out for his behavior towards you.” He pulled his eyes up, drawing my gaze. “But that’s not an excuse for what I did to you. So you’re right—I need to tell you that I really am sorry. What you did was nothing, not compared to my own bullshit.”

  For the first time since the ball, I felt a little of the protective shield of ice around my heart relax and melt. I knew all too well that Tristan wasn’t a man accustomed to apologizing for his actions. He didn’t like to relinquish his power. For him to acknowledge that he was to blame for our chaos was a big step.

  “Thank you,” I said. “It means a lot to hear you say that, but…”

  “There’s more,” he said, interrupting me. He stood up and held out a hand. “I…I want to show you something more of myself, to take you somewhere so you can begin to understand me better. Do you trust me enough to come with me?”

  I thought about it for a moment, though the truth was that I didn’t need to. I knew perfectly well that there was no way I’d ever say no to the opportunity to find our way back to one another.

  “I trust you enough, at least for now,” I said. “If you really mean that you want me to understand you, then I’ll go anywhere you want.”

  He nodded, his lips twitching into the beginnings of a genuine smile for the first time since he’d gotten out of the helicopter. “I do. There’s a place I want you to see. It will explain a thing or two about who I really am, and where I came from.”

  “Well, I suppose it’s a start,” I said.

  “Good. Let’s get your things, then, and I’ll take you away from here.”

  “My bag’s in Clarissa’s car,” I told him, pulling myself to my feet. I had no idea why I’d brought it with me to the hospital. Maybe on some level I’d hoped for this miracle to happen.

  “Perfect.” Tristan reached for me but pulled back, like he wasn’t sure his touch was welcome.

  He was wise to hesitate. I needed a bit of time and he needed to earn my trust. To prove that he was serious about us, and that he wasn’t just going to blow up again the next time I screwed something up.

  But I knew I needed to earn his trust, too.

  “Listen, I know I made a bad choice,” I blurted out. “Not telling you about Krane. I don’t really know what was holding me back. Maybe I was ashamed.” I swallowed hard. Confession time was coming. “I…I felt like he was doing things to me. Manipulating me in ways that made me feel weak. Your brother has some kind of power that I don’t understand.”

  Tristan let out a low, bitter chuckle. “I can’t fully blame you for any of that. Krane does have certain gifts,” he said. “I know. I’ve seen him work his magic on more than one woman over the years. He makes a game of it. There’s a malice there, a cruelty, like he wants to see how far he can push the female mind before setting it free again. He’s callous that way; it’s a power trip for him. He’s not a loving man, or a kind one. Maybe if he met his match one day, he could be. But he’s always had disdain for love, for relationships. For two hundred years now.”

  “Really? All that time?”

  “All that time.” Tristan winced, like it hurt to remind himself that his brother was capable of so much nastiness. “To give you credit,” he said, “you did manage to resist him. Most women fall into his trap without a second thought. I’ve never seen anyone get angry with him or fight him back, other than you. You’re stronger than you know. Stronger than I give you credit for.”

  “Of course I resisted,” I said, mildly offended. “I wouldn’t cheat on you, least of all with your brother. It’s not like I was about to kiss him.” But even those words brought a swell of shame to my chest. I remembered how in the subway station I’d stared at his lips. Even if I hadn’t done the deed, I’d wondered what it would feel like. It didn’t matter where the feelings came from. They’d still risen up inside me, if only for a second.

  “That’s not what I meant,” Tristan said, shaking his head. His eyes narrowed as he studied my face. “You don’t know all that much about our kind yet, do you?” he asked.

  “I suppose I don’t.”

  “Shifters are powerful in ways that surprise even us sometimes. If Krane wants something, he takes it. It doesn’t matter if his victim is a man or a woman. Those who work for him, they may as well be his slaves. He manipulates them, uses them, just like he used you at the ball to get to me. Everything with him is about control. But the thing is, he didn’t manage to control you. You have strength in you that should make you proud.”

  “You told me I was weak,” I said, cringing at the memory of his hard words.

  “I know,” he replied. “I shouldn’t have. It was a horrible and untrue thing to say.” He took my hand and kissed it. “I’ll never say such a harsh thing to you again. If I do, just kick me hard in the testicles.”

  “Really hard?”


  “So hard that I spend the rest of my life as an operatic soprano.”

  With that, he moved towards the door. “I hope you have a couple of summer dresses with you for our trip. Oh—and panties are very much optional, so it’s okay if you didn’t bring enough.”

  I smiled at his cockiness. We’d only just begun to make up, but of course his mind had already moved onto the topic of sex. The man couldn’t get enough of it.

  Then again, neither could I.

  “Oh, so we’re just going to go commando forever now?” I replied, teasing him with my tone. I was still pissed off, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t enjoy myself just a little. “Well, it’ll save me money in the long run.”

  To think that a few hours ago I’d been certain that we’d never speak again, let alone go on a romantic trip to a mysterious destination. Now we were back to our sexual banter, being total horny idiots and loving it.

  Maybe miracles really did happen.

  Tristan pulled me to him and kissed me softly on the lips. The sensation of his touch reminded me of our erotic, passionate entanglement in Estella’s garden, and all of a sudden I wanted more. I wanted to tear his jacket off, then his shirt, his pants and everything else, throw him to the floor and straddle him right there.

  “We should go say good-bye to Clarissa,” I said, yanking my mind away from thoughts of erotic frenzy.

  He nodded, but I could tell that he was as hungry for my body as I was for his. It was beginning to look like fighting aroused us even more than our natural state of relative peace. “Yes,” he said. “We’d better do that.”

  As we left the room, I asked, “Tell me something…did you pay for this hospital?”

  “I did,” he said. “But only for the best parts.”

  Chapter 16

  “Are you ready to go?” Tristan asked as he stood by Clarissa’s car, his starkly blue eyes fixed on me inquisitively. Apparently he was already chomping at the bit to get out of Chicago.

  I turned to Clarissa, who looked as puzzled as she had earlier.

  “You okay?” she asked.

  I nodded. “Thank you,” I said, giving her a hug. “I’m sort of sorry to be leaving so soon. I wanted to help you with your wedding stuff…”

  She laughed. “James’ mother hired a wedding planner for that,” she said. “All you need to do is show up on the day. And bring your boyfriend here, as long as he treats you well between now and then.” With that, she pulled away from me and threw Tristan a quick, menacing look.

  “I promise to treat her like the queen that she is,” he said, bowing his head gracefully.

  “Good.”

  When we’d darted over to the noisy chopper and climbed inside, I yelled to Tristan, “So, are you going to tell me where we’re going?”

  He turned to me with a smile on his face, signaling me to put on the set of headphones sitting next to me. While he slipped his on, I yanked mine onto my head. “New Orleans,” he said, his voice finding its way to my ears. “The Big Easy.”

  The pilot took off, the helicopter lurching skyward. “Seriously?” I asked, “I figured we’d be headed back to Colorado or something.”

  He shook his head. “My story begins in the South,” he told me. “If you want to know who I am and where I come from in this world, we need to start there.”

  My nerves pulsed with excitement. I’d never been to New Orleans, though I’d always wanted to go. Something about the place had always struck me as darkly magical. A city that probably felt like it belonged in a whole other universe.

  “I’ve heard it’s crazy hot down there,” I said. “I get why you wanted me to bring summer dresses.”

  “It’s stifling and humid,” he told me. “But don’t worry, I’ve reserved us a nice, air-conditioned suite.”

  “Okay, good,” I said.

  I should probably have been slightly annoyed that he’d been cocky enough to assume that I’d agree to go with him, but my mind was still reeling from the thought that I might actually learn the truth about Tristan’s background. About his scars, about everything that made him who he was now. I might finally learn to lower my own walls and let my lover close to me.

  I might even find a way to tell him how much I loved him.

  But there was something lurking deep inside me that was frightened of the days to come. Digging into a lover’s past was often a venture fraught with pain, with sorrow. It would mean learning about his suffering...about his losses.

  He’d lived two centuries. In that time he’d probably been through all sorts of torment. His body, with its deep scars, was pure evidence of it.

  Still, I was grateful. He’d reached out. He’d realized that I was too important to let go, and that meant the world to me, even if I hadn’t said it.

  We flew to a small airfield on the outskirts of Chicago, where Tristan’s jet was waiting for us on the tarmac. Kara stood outside, a broad smile spreading over her lips when she saw me.

  “You excited?” she asked when I’d darted over to say hello.

  “I am,” I replied. “And apprehensive.”

  “You’ll like New Orleans,” she told me. “If you get a chance you should check out Bourbon Street while you’re there, and the markets. Oh, and the Café du Monde. And…well, you get the idea.”

  “Something tells me I won’t have time,” I said, my gaze moving over to take in Tristan’s gorgeous face. “I have other things to…do.”

  The flight took a little over two hours, and we arrived around two o’clock New Orleans time. As usual Kara worked in the cockpit next to the jet’s usual pilot. Tristan and I stayed in the back, seated side by side in the comfortable leather arm chairs.

  More than once, we’d made love on the lavish couch that stretched out behind us. We’d also made good use of the king-sized bed tucked away in a room at the back.

  But today, we were on our best behavior. Probably because neither of us was entirely sure where we stood with the other.

  “You know,” Tristan said after a time, turning to me with a mischievous glint in his eye, “make-up sex is the best kind. Especially make-up cunnilingus from a man who’s committed an egregious error and been a giant asshole. There’s nothing quite like a repentant tongue.”

  “Oh yeah?” I replied. “Well then, I guess I have something to look forward to.” I crossed my legs as if to tell him he wasn’t going anywhere near my lady parts, at least not just yet.

  “Cruel woman,” he said, inching closer to me and speaking low. “I’m getting desperate to taste you. It’s been over twenty-four hours. I’m going through P.W.S.”

  “What’s P.W.S.?” I asked.

  “Pussy Withdrawal Symptoms.”

  “You’ll be okay,” I assured him with a laugh, patting his arm. “I’ve heard you’re a pretty strong guy.

  “I don’t know,” he said, reaching a hand over and squeezing my thigh. “You don’t know the torment of having a sense of smell as acute as mine. Like right now, I can smell your sweet…”

  “Watch it, Mr. Wolfe,” I interrupted, pulling his hand off my leg and dropping it in his lap. “You’re still on probation. It’s entirely possible that I haven’t completely forgiven you.”

  Tristan sighed. “I guess I deserve this,” he said.

  “You can make it up to me, you know.”

  “How?” His eyes were open wide, and for a moment I thought I caught a flash of the young man he once was, curious, wide-eyed and eager to learn how to make his way in the world.

  But then it was gone, the wicked, knowing wolf shifter I knew returning to take over.

  “By letting me in,” I said. “By helping me to understand who you really are. I feel like…I feel like I know you, Tristan. But I don’t. You don’t talk about your work, about your feelings. I don’t know what’s going through your head when you lay eyes on Krane. Do you hate him? Do you love him?”

  I watched his jaw tighten with the mention of his brother, and I wondered if I’d just reopened a ca
n of worms.

  “No, I don’t hate him,” he said. “But I’m not sure I love him, either.”

  “But what he did to me—and what happened in Colorado…” I said. The truth was, I didn’t entirely know what had happened the night we’d gone to Tristan’s chalet in the mountains. All I really knew was that his brother had shown up, that a Valkyrie had died, and that Kara would probably hold it against Krane for the rest of his life. He and Tristan certainly seemed like mortal enemies.

  “My relationship with my brother is and has always been complicated,” Tristan said. “What happened in Colorado was unfortunate, but it wasn’t entirely his doing.”

  “What happened?” I asked.

  “Krane showed up with some of his men, saying he wanted to talk to me for the first time in years. When my watchers tried to stop his men, they got into an ugly altercation. We lost a Valkyrie in the process, one who was very close to Kara.”

  I nodded, recalling how devastated Kara had been that night. “Do you know why Krane wanted to see you?”

  Tristan shook his head. “I have my suspicions,” he said. “But we never did get to talk, at least not that night.”

  “Was that his fault or yours?” I asked. For all that his brother was a pain in the ass, it did sound like he’d tried to open up a dialog, at least.

  “If he shows up and his minions kill my people,” Tristan replied, his voice taking on a tinge of frost, “I can only blame him. Now, if you don’t mind, I think we should talk about something else. Discussing my brother tends to kill my mood.”

  “Right,” I said. I was still confused about something—about why Krane had seemed to issue him a warning at the Midsummer Ball. He’d said that the Seven, whoever the powerful cabal actually were, knew about me. It was almost as though he was trying to protect his brother even as he was manipulating me into some kind of sexual submission. He was toying with me, testing me, but his sole intent had been to pull his brother close so they could have a chance to talk.

  They had the most dysfunctional, crazy relationship I’d ever seen. Maybe that was always the way between wolves and dragons.