She was within seconds of pulling him down onto her sofa when her dormant sense of self-preservation shouted a warning. This wasn’t a fairy tale. She was about to travel a road that ended in disaster.
Reluctantly she stepped back, breathing hard, trembling in every cell and trying not to show it. “Well,” she said, trying for amused nonchalance. “I suppose we answered that question. If we decide to be friends with benefits, the spark is there.”
Jonathan’s frown was dark. With his hair disheveled where her hands had raked through it and his face flushed with the remnants of arousal, he looked dangerously disgruntled.
“It’s not something to joke about. I won’t be with other women if you’re my wife. I’d expect the same courtesy from you.”
She wanted to laugh. The thought of sleeping with another man while married to her boss was ludicrous. But Jonathan would probably misunderstand her reaction. So she pressed her lips together and tried to look penitent.
“Of course,” she muttered. “One step at a time. First we have to decide if marriage would be convenient or impossibly convoluted.”
He folded his arms and took a stance that was definitely more stubborn male than obsequious suitor. “There’s nothing to decide. You know I’m right. It’s the only way. Unless you’ve changed your mind about helping me.”
She lifted her chin, matching him glare for glare. “I won’t be bullied. I want to examine the pros and cons from every direction. You’re correct in saying that I’m decisive as a rule. But I’ve never been an impulsive person. I don’t plan to start now.”
He would have been well within his rights to point out that her recent behavior was damned impulsive. Fortunately for her, he held his tongue on that matter.
“Tuesday night,” he said firmly. “My father is taking an overnight fishing trip with J.B.’s dad. They’ve been planning it for months. I’ll have the housekeeper fix us a meal, and then we can walk the beach.”
Lisette nodded slowly. “Okay. I like the sound of that. And just so we’re clear, you can change your mind, too. I know the news of your diagnosis threw you into a tailspin. It would have knocked anyone on their butt. Give yourself more time to think this through. You won’t hurt my feelings if you see another way out of your situation.”
She didn’t tell him that if he did, she would soon be gone.
Jonathan shook his head doggedly. “I’ve already come up with the perfect plan. Now it’s simply a question of implementation.”
“Very well.”
He reached for his wallet and keys. “You’ll be at work in the morning?”
She raised an eyebrow. “Of course. Where else would I be?”
Nodding tersely, he strode toward the door. “I’ll see you then.” It was a small condo. He was on the doorstep in moments.
“Wait,” she cried.
He turned and stared at her. “What?”
“Jonathan...” She trailed off, not entirely sure how to say what she wanted to say.
“What?”
Impatience was painted all over his face. For a man who had seemed very happy to spend part of the afternoon with her, he was now clearly itching to leave. Maybe he had regrets, too.
“You don’t seem all that sick,” she said slowly, not wanting to anger him. “I know about the headaches, but what if the doctor was wrong?”
His jaw jutted and his hands fisted at his sides. “You don’t understand,” he said. “I’ve been to see half a dozen highly respected medical professionals in the last nine months. I even missed Christmas with my sister because one of those damn doctors suggested I spend a week in the desert learning meditation techniques.”
The disgust in his voice made her grin. “That doesn’t sound like you at all, no offense.”
“None taken. The point is, no one thought my headaches were anything terribly serious until I went back for a second series of visits with my doctor here in Charleston. I wasn’t getting any better. The senior radiologist read my MRI and CT scans. The report details were all there in black-and-white, Lisette. The doc told me flat out. I can’t keep grasping for hope when there is none. I’ve decided to deal with this the best way I know how. If you can’t live with that, then I’ll simply hire a nurse when the time comes.”
“And Tarleton Shipping?”
“Mazie will have to come up with a plan.”
Lisette understood the futility of empty hope. She had certainly dealt with the phenomenon on multiple occasions during her mother’s illness. But to imagine Jonathan dying was more than she could wrap her brain around.
“I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “I won’t mention it again.”
“Thank you.”
Once more she was struck by how alone he seemed. He did have family, but no one could walk this road with him. Her heart twisted. “I’ll give you my answer Tuesday night, I swear.”
Jonathan grimaced. “I shouldn’t even be bringing you into this.”
“I’m sort of the perfect choice,” she said. “With my mother gone now, I have no demands on my time. We’ll figure this out, Jonathan. We will.”
His gaze seemed to settle on her lips. Or was it her breasts? “And you won’t say anything to anyone?”
“No. It will be our secret, no matter what happens.”
Five
Jonathan went home and hid himself away in his office, studying spreadsheets...making plans for a future he might not experience. More than anything, he wanted to talk to J.B. They had been best friends since grade school. J.B. wouldn’t coddle him or shower him with false sympathy.
But once J.B. knew, there would be no keeping the secret from Mazie. Jonathan wasn’t ready to break his sister’s heart. The two of them had always been close, and they were even closer now that Hartley had abandoned the family.
Jonathan wrestled with unanswerable questions. How long did he have? Would he live to see Christmas? No matter how many novels he had read or movies he had seen, when the bitter news came to a man personally, it was a hell of a lot different from fiction.
He didn’t want to die. He wanted to live.
Maybe the Tarletons had been cursed from the beginning. His mother’s mental instability. His father’s wavering health at a relatively early age. Hartley’s betrayal. And now this.
Jonathan had read his share of pirate legends. Tales of buried treasures that were never found. The very spot of land on which the Tarleton home stood was reputed to have been the lair of the famous buccaneer Bloody Bart, an aristocratic Englishman who had been exiled to the New World after bringing shame to his family during a fatal duel.
Unlike the seventeenth-century pirate, Jonathan had nowhere to run. He would have to face his demons head-on.
After dinner with his father and a few games of chess, Jonathan escaped the house to walk the beach. The night was wild and windy, the tiny grains of sand scouring his exposed skin. The minor discomfort did not deter him.
Here in the privacy of his own company, he allowed himself to remember the afternoon with Lisette. Her home was warm and welcoming. Even walking through the front door had made him feel a sense of hope.
His reaction made no sense, not really. Hope was a commodity in short supply. He was a bastard for asking his executive assistant to give up months of her life to make his more palatable. She had been through so much.
But as guilty as he felt for involving her, he couldn’t bring himself to rescind his request. He was bone-deep scared. He needed Lisette.
Her light and positivity and her ability to break monumental tasks into manageable pieces would keep him sane as uncertainty dogged his waking hours over the weeks and months to come. She would secure the Tarleton legacy, and thus give him peace.
The fact that Lisette had so matter-of-factly brought a potential physical relationship into the mix told him more than anything that he had been ri
ght in thinking she could handle what was to come.
Of course, sex would rear its head. A man and a woman. Legally wed. Friends who trusted each other and liked each other.
For his part, it was more than like. His body had responded urgently to her kiss. He didn’t think he had ever before let on that he was attracted to her. At work, he had been scrupulously circumspect.
Yet when she bravely addressed the possible physical nature of their potential agreement, his libido had jumped in immediately. Reliving the moment when his lips claimed hers in a searing kiss made his breathing unsteady and his sex hard. If he had known what it would be like to hold her in his arms so intimately, he might never have been able to keep up the guise of boss and assistant as long as he had.
He craved Lisette.
Could he in good conscience allow their agreement to include physical intimacy? As much as he wanted to say, Hell yes, the more rational side of his brain urged caution.
If Lisette agreed to his unconventional proposal, both of their lives would change significantly. If they married, soon the world would look at both of them differently. Look and wonder...
Jonathan was hiding an enormous secret, and he had demanded that Lisette keep his secret, too. He was expecting a lot from her. Some would say too much.
Still, when he imagined having her in his bed each night, the terrible weight that had rested on his shoulders when the doctor delivered the grim news seemed not quite so terrible. She would stand beside him when things got tough. She would have his back.
What did he have to offer her in return? She claimed not to care about his money, and from what he knew of her, that was certainly true. He’d tried to give her an unexplained bonus when her mother’s medical bills mounted precipitously. Lisette had seen through his ruse and declined politely.
She was a proud woman. And self-sufficient. He had no idea what her financial circumstances were. Had her mother’s extended illness been a monetary stress? And were there perhaps still bills outstanding?
Then and there, he decided on two of his nonnegotiable points for the prenup. First of all, he would pay off any of his new wife’s debts, whether or not they stemmed from her mother’s care. Secondly, he would buy Lisette a beach house...something relatively small and cozy and charming...with ample hurricane insurance to ensure that she would always be able to rebuild after any kind of natural disaster.
After those two decisions, his mental gyrations ground to a halt. What did he really know about his self-possessed assistant? Not much of a personal nature. Did she want to travel the world? Explore places off the beaten path? Take culinary lessons in France? Go back to school and get a doctorate in something?
He wanted to shower her with evidence of his gratitude, but he had no clue where to start. If he was successful in persuading her to marry him, perhaps his immediate goal should be to establish an emotional relationship with Lisette. Learn her likes and dislikes. Dig deep into the personality of a woman who was in many ways a mystery to him.
When his legs were aching, and his throat was dry with thirst, he finally turned around and made his way back home. Tuesday night. It seemed an eternity to wait.
Still, nothing good could come of this unless Lisette decided to help him of her own free will. No pressure from Jonathan. No emotional manipulation.
For a man accustomed to shaping the world and his destiny with bare hands and unflinching determination, this wait-and-see approach was sheer torment.
His customary store of patience had run out.
He wanted to call her right now. Show up on her doorstep again. Demand that she see things his way.
Instead, he let himself into the big, silent house, ate a cold roast beef sandwich and then climbed the stairs to his bedroom. He paused in the doorway, trying to view the masculine furnishings and dark colors from a female perspective. The first order of business would be to insist that Lisette redecorate. If she became his wife, this suite of room would be theirs, not his.
It was an important distinction.
The wind on his forehead during the beach walk had brought the headache back, but it was bearable. He showered and climbed beneath the covers.
Instead of contemplating his own demise, he closed his eyes and tried to recreate the memory of Lisette’s lips beneath his. Her taste. The alluring shape of her body.
Physical arousal was almost a relief despite the lack of a partner. How long would he feel like himself? He couldn’t imagine a night where he slept beside his wife and didn’t want to make love to her.
Groaning and cursing, he rolled to his stomach and buried his face in his arms. One slender woman held a great deal of his fate in her hands. She couldn’t save him ultimately, but her answer would have a huge impact on how the next six months unfolded.
He knew what he wanted. Now he could only hope that she wanted it, too...
* * *
When Lisette arrived at work Monday morning, the boss was not in the building. No one seemed to know where he was, in fact.
She should have been relieved. Not having to face him meant she could get her work done. But her imagination ran amok. Had he suffered some kind of collapse? Was he regretting that he had shared his secret with her? Had his lawyer cautioned him about marriage under these circumstances?
Was Jonathan, even now, wondering how to tell her he had changed his mind?
By lunchtime he still had not made an appearance. No phone calls. No texts. No emails.
Only a visit from Rebekah managed to derail Lisette’s escalating worry.
The other woman glanced at her watch. “You ready to eat? The cafeteria downstairs actually has a couple of good choices today.”
Lisette shook her head. “I’d rather grab a yogurt and peanuts and take a walk, if you don’t mind.”
Rebekah was easygoing and cheerful. “Suits me,” she said. “Let me get my sneakers out of my desk, and I’ll meet you down front.”
Thirty minutes later, warm and breathing hard, they found a shaded bench in the park and sat down to eat their brown bag lunches. Both of them had small fridges in their offices for just such an occasion.
Lisette’s friend sighed, lifting her face to the leafy canopy overhead. “It’s days like this I almost wish I were a carriage driver. I could spend the whole day outdoors.”
“Sure you could. Educating grumpy tourists with history they don’t care about. Wiping gum off the seats half a dozen times a day. Breathing horse sweat and car exhaust fumes.”
Rebekah lifted both eyebrows. “Wow. What put you in such a prickly mood?”
“Sorry.” Lisette grimaced. “I didn’t sleep last night.”
“You should try melatonin. I hear it works wonders.”
Probably not under the current circumstances. “Maybe I will.” Rebekah never had insomnia, to hear her tell it.
Her friend stood up and stretched. “I suppose we’d better be getting back. I hear the big boss frowns on slackers.”
Her silly jest made Lisette squirm inwardly. “I wouldn’t know. I’ve barely had time to breathe today. And that’s with him MIA. It’s worse when he’s actually around. The man’s brain never stops.”
They took their time walking back. Rebekah tucked her sunglasses on top of her head when the sun went behind a cloud. She waved at a kid in a stroller and then glanced at Lisette. “Tamara and Nicole want us to get together soon and do some planning for the Alaska trip.”
Lisette’s heart dropped. How could she have forgotten? The four women had put down hefty deposits for a fabulous Inside Passage adventure in early September. “Um, I may have to bow out. Something has come up.”
It was a clunky excuse at best. Rebekah stopped dead in the center of the sidewalk and gawked. “What are you talking about? This whole thing was your idea from the beginning.”
It was true. Lisette had wanted to do something
big and exciting to mark her new unencumbered lifestyle. She grieved her mother deeply, but for the first time in her adult life, she was now free to go and do and try things she had missed for so long. The Alaskan cruise had seemed like the perfect choice.
“It may seem crazy, and I don’t know how to explain, but I can’t be gone this fall.”
“Why?” Rebekah’s furrowed brow and perplexed expression were entirely justified.
“It’s a secret,” Lisette said weakly. “And it’s not mine to tell.”
Rebekah’s face tightened with hurt. “I see.”
“You don’t,” Lisette said urgently, taking her friend’s arm. “I’d tell you if I could, but I swear it’s important.”
Rebekah pulled away. “You do realize that you sound ridiculous?” She shook her head in disgust and continued walking.
Lisette hurried to catch up. “I’ll be able to tell you sometime, but not yet. Please don’t be mad.”
The Tarleton Shipping building loomed in front of them. Rebekah sailed through the front door without pause. They both boarded the elevator in silence. Unfortunately, three other employees stepped in as well. Purchasing was on the third floor. Lisette had to go all the way to the top.
When the quiet ding sounded and the doors slid open at three, Rebekah didn’t say a word. Lisette’s heart clenched. “I’ll call you tonight,” she said, trying not to sound desperate.
Rebekah’s nod was curt. “Whatever.”
And then the doors closed.
For the remainder of the afternoon, Lisette’s stomach clenched in turmoil. This thing with Jonathan had blown up so quickly, she had not thought about the impact secrecy would have in her social circle. With no family to speak of except for a handful of distant cousins, her tight-knit group of friends in Charleston was her family. She couldn’t afford to lose a single one of them over this charade, and certainly not Rebekah.
At four thirty, Jonathan still hadn’t made an appearance.
Screw that. If the two of them were going to be partners in this terrible, sad experience, she wouldn’t be pushed aside. Either she was central to Jonathan’s life or she wasn’t.
A Contract Seduction (Southern Secrets Series Book 2) Page 5
