by Jo Leigh
He did laugh then. “How old were you?”
“Still in middle school. Hadn’t been kissed yet. Never really thought about boys. I was too caught up in training.”
“Track and field.”
“Yeah. That was our religion. Competition in general. My family is really into overachieving. In every aspect of life. Needless to say, they weren’t thrilled to discover I wanted to work for the Bureau. They had me penciled in as an attorney. After all, they already had two doctors in the family. I would have rounded out their résumés.” She shrugged, tempted to move her hand closer, just to feel more of his breath.
“They must be really proud of you now.”
She checked to see if he was being sincere. Ryan’s free hand moved scant inches across the mattress until he touched her. It was different. Surprisingly sweet. “Not yet,” she said.
“What? I can’t imagine any parent not being proud of you. Look what you’ve accomplished and you’re not even thirty. You were what, in the top five at the academy? You’re the highest-ranking woman in hand-to-hand in the whole damn country. Which is chicken feed next to what you can do on a computer. You’ve made a major contribution to forensics, Angie. That’s like winning all the gold medals and a bag of chips on the side.”
She laughed. Thank goodness he’d given her a reason, because even though she didn’t want to, her eyes had filled with tears. How was this moment even happening? Ryan was the least sentimental person she knew. Whom she thought she knew.
After she pushed her hair back, she rested her hand on Ryan’s. Gave him a little squeeze to say thanks. When she went to pull away, he stopped her. Stopped her breathing, too.
He sighed and his breath warmed her neck. “This is not a good idea,” he said.
Right. At least they were on the same page. “No, it’s not.”
“We’re not...”
“God, no.”
“But,” he said. “We do need practice. Kissing, I mean.”
“We do,” she said, but the conversation was slipping away from her, the timbre of his voice and his closeness taking over.
He inhaled a long breath between his teeth. “I don’t know about you, but I’m not going to sleep anytime soon.”
“Maybe it’ll be relaxing. Practicing, I mean.” Who was she kidding? They were on a precipice with a lot hanging in the balance. Did she want to pull herself back up to the ledge, or let herself fall? With her heart pounding and her fingers crossed, she said, “Tomorrow we’re going to the hot springs. We’ll have to touch a lot.”
“The hot springs,” he echoed, his voice a gruff whisper. “Right. It’ll be...hot.”
The hand that wasn’t holding him up took all of Angie’s attention. It had moved from his side to just above her right cheek. Almost touching her. Slightly tickling as he pushed some wisps of hair back.
“Hot,” she whispered, even though she didn’t really know why.
It wasn’t just his hand that was moving now, but his whole upper body. Achingly slowly. Giving her plenty of time to say no.
“It’s just...” His voice had become even rougher, softer, making Angie strain to hear.
She had to lift her head off the pillow. To hear.
“Say yes,” he whispered, inches away from her, so close to her parted lips they might have touched. “You need to say it. Say something.”
Her wince wasn’t planned. Neither was the hand to his chest. “Wait a minute.”
She felt him stop breathing again, still completely. A lot of rapid heartbeats went by before he moved back. Not just back but away.
As she lost contact, she thought about grabbing his T-shirt, pulling him down, but she couldn’t.
“I’m sorry,” he said. He cleared his throat, and repeated the words twice. By the time he grew quiet, he was as far away from her as he could get on the bed. “I have no excuse. That was completely unprof—”
“Stop.” She tugged at his arm, forcing him to move until she could see his profile in the moonlight. “Please, stop. I’m not...” Holding up her index finger, she closed her eyes so she could concentrate. When she opened them again, she felt calmer, although still unbelievably shaken. “I’m not saying no like that.”
“What?”
“Not like, no, this is wrong or bad. More like no, this is something we’d better think about. I was kind of swept away there, and I need to be here. This isn’t a minor decision.”
He didn’t say anything for a long time. They both were breathing as if they’d just come back after a quick jog, and she had to squeeze her legs together to ease the pressure, but finally, he said, “We really are all wrong for each other.”
“Yes, we are.” She felt the urge to pull the covers up to her chest, but she didn’t. “That doesn’t necessarily mean—”
“It’s this undercover bullshit—” he said, breaking in. “I had no business—”
“I was jealous,” she said, louder.
“What?”
“Of that girl at the craps table.”
Silence. Then, “Huh.”
“I know. Ridiculous. And you’re right. This role-playing stuff and the kissing. I didn’t expect... I didn’t know what to expect. This is so far outside my range of experience....”
“No one on earth has experience doing what we’re doing.”
“I know. I do. But it’s really complicated. Between us.”
Ryan’s hand moved halfway across the bed, as it had before. She wished he would stop doing that because she couldn’t help the reaction it caused. The way it made her ache.
“For what it’s worth, I think you’re really brave,” he said.
“What? Why?”
“You just dove into the deep end of the pool. Jumped in without a life vest, without any prep at all. For this sting? That took one hell of a lot of courage.”
“The whole operation was on the line.”
“Doesn’t negate my point.”
She smoothed down the comforter. “I’m not that altruistic. I’m going after the job in D.C. You did hear what I said about me and my family, right?”
“Yeah, I get it.”
“But thank you.”
She had no reason to believe he was smiling when he said, “You’re welcome.” Still, she was pretty sure he was. If she flipped on the light right now, she’d see it. See his strong jaw and his humor in the face of their impossible situation. Made so much worse by the months she’d spent making him into her fantasy man. Here, in the flesh, she’d seen his toes. The way he pulled on his bottom lip. How he looked when he was out of his depth and when he still had sleep in his eyes.
Her hand went out to meet his and this time their fingertips brushed. It felt startling and intimate and sweet. And if she had half a brain, she’d roll back onto her other side, roll all the way back to L.A. before it was too late. Because the only thing that had changed since that long-ago party was that she wanted the real Ryan now.
* * *
THE TOUCH OF HER FINGERS On his got his poor confused cock revving up again. Granted, it had never softened completely, not even after her “no” had penetrated past the layers of brain-fogging lust. Thank God it was dark and there were covers. Thank God they were talking and it wasn’t horrible and weird and that she didn’t want to leave this very minute.
It wasn’t as if he’d planned on seducing her. He knew what that was like, exactly what that was like, and tonight he had not been hunting. He’d been...cast in a spell.
Yeah, that totally sounded macho. Cast in a spell. What were these stupid exercises doing to him? New-age music was dissolving his brain.
Her nails came into play, and he hissed at the sensation. For Christ’s sake, a fingertip was not supposed to be a huge erogenous zone. Everything was out of proportion, and damn, he wanted to be next to her, her body pressed to his.
“Were you drunk?” Angie asked.
“When? Tonight?”
“No. Halloween.”
“Oh. No. Not particular
ly. At least not until after.”
“After the party?”
“After I realized what I’d done. How I’d come on to you. Not my finest moment.”
“Hey, we didn’t cross any lines.”
“I crossed one of my own.”
She sighed, and he closed his eyes, wishing he had that sound on tape so he could hear it over and over again. He’d like to fall asleep to that sound.
“I was very tempted.”
His eyes shot open. “What’s that?”
“Halloween. I wanted to.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah. But I’m glad we were interrupted. Because we work together and all.”
“Which is why—”
“Exactly,” she said. And then she moved closer to him, pulling the bedding with her.
He could reach much more than her fingertips now. He could feel the shift in the air, in his rapid pulse as he skimmed over her amazingly soft skin. “In a way, we are technically on vacation.”
She laughed. “Technically we’re not, but I do see your point. It feels as if we’re on vacation. As if the rules don’t apply here.”
He nodded. “Exactly. I mean, we’re sleeping together. Every night. Kissing each other. Our homework is to hold you in my arms and we were supposed to wash each other’s hair.” Then he swallowed, and willed his erection to simmer the hell down, because getting too hopeful here could end badly. For both of them. The important thing was to let her call the shots.
But hoping was acceptable. Unavoidable.
Her position had changed, her head was no longer resting on her palm. It was on her pillow, and he was about ten seconds away from turning on the light because he had no idea what she was thinking.
When her fingers trailed up his hand to his inner arm, then all the way to the crook of his elbow, he began to get a clue.
“It’s late,” she said.
“Yep.” His voice didn’t sound half as squeaky as he’d feared.
“I’ll never get back to sleep now.”
He could hear the quaver in her voice. She teased him with touches so light they were barely there, making his entire nervous system ache with the need to be inside her. Jesus.
As a measure of self-defense, he turned over so he was on his stomach. That he was inches away from Angie was, well, perfect.
“I’m extremely attracted to you,” he said. “Just to be clear. But I’ll stop this right now if you need me to. I won’t touch you, or make jokes, or even insinuate anything that could make you uncomfortable. I mean it.”
“You’re saying what happens next is up to me.”
“I am.” His free hand itched to turn on the light, to know if she was smiling, or frowning, or—
“Yes,” she said. “Yes.”
He’d known from that first day that Angie was going to kill him, and he was damn sure this would be the moment.
10
ANGIE HELD HER BREATH, waiting. She’d said the word, but she couldn’t follow through. She wanted to, God, she did, but her body was in some kind of shock or something, because—
Ryan pressed up against her, holding her gently as one hand slipped behind her neck and the other ran down her arm. His lips brushed hers. With a so-soft “Thank God” she might have missed it, he deepened the kiss.
Despite all the verbal foreplay, the tease and the tension, she was unprepared for the shock of his body. She wanted his clothes off. Hers, too. Now, right now because she needed the contact everywhere. She wanted to be wrapped up in Ryan, to do everything all at once.
Their lips and tongues were ravening, insatiable, so eager each time they parted she had to gasp in as much air as she could, only to immediately return to drowning in sensation.
He made soft noises as he kissed her, as he reached down to the bottom of her sleep shirt and snuck his hand underneath. The sounds were low, and growly and she doubted he even realized he was making them, but each time, her hips arched of their own accord.
It took her a few minutes to realize she was being equally loud and demanding, growing more impatient even as she grabbed on to his rock-hard ass as if she never planned to let it go.
The heat and hardness of his cock bled through his poor pajamas as he rocked into her. He’d better have condoms right next to him or else there would be big trouble.
He broke from their kiss, murmuring something that sounded like “Up, up, up,” until her dazzled brain understood he wanted to take off her clothes.
Of course, she obliged, but as soon as her nightshirt went flying across the room, her hands were yanking on his pajamas, tugging as if wanting him naked was enough to make him so.
“Wait,” he said. “Wait, I need to...” And he went too far away from her, whole inches, it wasn’t fair, and then he whipped his T-shirt off. “Close your eyes.”
“I want to see.”
“I know,” he said. “That’s why you have to close your eyes.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
He growled, literally, then said, “Just close them for one second.”
She did, but she wasn’t happy about it until the light right above the headboard came on. “Oh.”
“Exactly.”
She should have waited another thirty seconds to open her eyes again, but there was entirely too much to see. His chest, of course, but seeing that wasn’t the good part. Touching, playing with his sparse, dark hair and his little peaked nips, now that would be something to remember.
It occurred to her that it might be rude that she’d been staring at his chest the whole time the light had been on, but when she glanced at his face, she realized he hadn’t noticed.
She did like the way his lips had parted and how his own eyes looked utterly dazed.
“You’re incredible.”
Her hands went to her barely-B-cup breasts, but quelled the urge to cover herself. For God’s sake, he’d already seen them. His pupils were huge, he was practically drooling. So she captured her nipples, which were pretty long, between her middle and ring fingers.
Ryan groaned as if she was hurting him.
When she looked down to see the outline of his erection pressing against the soft cotton of his pj’s, she arched her back. It might have been her imagination, but the wet spot over the crown of his cock seemed to get larger.
“You’re killing me,” he said. “I knew you would. But I never guessed. If I could move, I would have those panties off you right now. I would bury myself between your thighs for the rest of my life.”
“That’s sweet,” she said, “but how about you take off the rest of your clothes first.”
“What?”
She nodded, looking straight at his bottoms.
He exhaled as he followed her gaze. “Okay, but you have to put your hands somewhere else. Please.”
Her chuckle stopped dead as Ryan got up on his knees and pushed his pajamas down. Oh, the cloth hadn’t lied. He was impressive. And eager. She didn’t even blink as he bared himself completely. She’d seen so much of his body but she couldn’t have imagined how the sight of him like this would affect her.
Every part of her reacted with want. Between her legs, her breasts, her breathing, the very feel of her skin, the flush that spread like honey all through her body. “Condom,” she said, the word breaking on the last syllable.
He had started toward her, inching across the bed on his knees, but he stopped, turned just enough for her to ogle the single most stunning bare male ass she’d ever seen, and she’d seen Michelangelo’s David. Ryan yanked open his bedside drawer and struggled with his wallet.
His cursing got creative for a minute, and then he pulled out two packets and threw the wallet on the floor.
“That’s ambitious of you.”
“I was a Boy Scout. Now, please, dear God, if you have any mercy in your heart, please let me take off those panties.”
She smiled as she made herself ready. Her hands, as they adjusted her pillow, actually trembled. So
mehow she managed to kick the sheet and comforter down far enough. When she looked up she found Ryan gripping his thick erection, on his knees right next to her.
“You’re stunning,” he said, his voice husky and thick.
“What I am is impatient,” she said, lifting her hips a few inches.
“Stop, stop, don’t help. Not yet. Let me... Just let me.”
To see him so undone, and before they’d even started made her heart pound and her flush deepen. She’d never felt more desired or more beautiful. It sent a rush through her that felt better than winning any race.
He positioned himself between her knees, gently parting them until she was spread enough for his liking. Then he ran his hands up her thighs, stopping when he reached the edge of her underwear. He slipped underneath the white cotton and his eyes closed for a moment as he brushed his fingers outward for a few inches, then back to the center, where he explored, with only his fingertips, across that exquisitely sensitive skin between thigh and labia.
Her squirming made him open his eyes, but he didn’t speed up and he didn’t move closer to where she wanted him, the bastard.
If he didn’t pick up the pace, she was going to start flicking her nipples, which she might do, anyway, because God, they were so tight, and she was so ready. “Ryan,” she said, surprised that the word came out so breathy.
He grinned wickedly, and bent down, still not removing her panties. With widely parted lips, he covered her exactly where she ached the most, and warmed her with his hot breath.
She knocked his chin with her arched hips, but he didn’t seem to mind. “You need to remember something,” she said, seconds away from ripping off the last of her clothes. “I’m top of the class in hand-to-hand.”
He laughed as he pulled the crotch of her underwear to the left, baring her, at least partly. The growl returned, and then there was his tongue sneaking between her lips and finding her swollen clit with uncanny precision.
She cried out, pushing up into that hardened tongue, impossibly aroused. It wasn’t like her. Ryan had barely touched her, and yet she could already feel the beginning of her climax building deep inside. She’d grabbed on to the sheet so tightly she was afraid it might rip, but dammit, something had to give. Now.
