Her Hero

by Aimée Thurlo

  “Love isn’t depleted by giving, sawe. It’s something that needs to be nurtured, that’s true, but with care it sustains itself and feeds the spirit.”

  Nydia shook her head, avoiding his gaze. “I don’t believe in love anymore. It brings betrayal, disillusionment and pain.”

  As she left the room, she felt an unspeakable sadness filling her. Even though she assured herself that she’d only spoken the truth, she felt hollow inside. There was safety in never surrendering her heart, but with that safety came loneliness, and sorrow for what would never be hers.

  Nydia stood outside the cabin, letting the night breeze console her. As she listened to the rustle of the wind through the pines, Joshua’s whisper-soft voice reached her ears. “I will be there for you and your family.”

  She shook her head. No, it was impossible. It was her imagination. Joshua was inside the cabin, and too far away for her to hear.

  NYDIA SLEPT LIGHTLY, never truly surrendering to the weariness she felt. A part of her remained alert even as she rested, listening to her surroundings, just as she’d always done whenever John had been sick. It was an ability that came naturally to most mothers.

  Close to dawn, an out-of-place sound roused her. She sat up quickly. A truck was coming. As she looked down the hillside, she saw two vehicles and recognized them as those belonging to Joshua’s brothers.

  She hurried down to the cabin and went inside. Joshua was standing by the window watching.

  “You heard my brothers?”

  “Yes.”

  “They’ll be here soon, and I’ll tell them then about the truck at the feed store.”

  She nodded. “I’m also going to push the sheriff into letting us get more involved in the case. He’s been gathering clues and should have leads, but he’s only one man. He needs all the help he can get. I’ve got to convince him to use me, at least.”

  “By now, he may be more amenable to help. We all tend to want to handle things alone. But sometimes, that just isn’t possible.”

  She listened to the approaching trucks for a moment. “I’m going to wash up, then check our supplies. With luck, we’ll have enough coffee for everyone. I sure need it. How about you? Did you sleep?”

  “I’m rested.”

  “Are you still sore?”

  “A bit, but it’s not bad. I can move around freely enough.”

  She wanted to smooth the lines of concern from his face, to tell him that he never had to put up a front for her and that if he hurt, she wanted to know and help him. Instead, only too aware of the dangers that followed the slightest touch between them, she turned and walked away.

  JOSHUA MET HIS BROTHERS outside, looking closely at their faces. Fuzz looked worried, as he often did these days. Shadow’s tense anger also seemed to have become a part of him.

  As they walked inside, Gabriel spotted Nydia, wearing a T-shirt and jeans, going down the hall to the bedroom. He gave his brother an appreciative wink. “Good thing the situation here isn’t too rough for you.”

  Joshua answered him with narrowed eyes and silence.

  “She’s a pretty woman,” Lucas said with a grin. “Bet that’s why you’re not too concerned with those bruises you took when you fell. A woman like that can make a man forget almost anything. If, after this is over, you still haven’t decided whether you want her, I think I’ll ask her out.”

  “Do, and I’ll redesign your face,” Joshua warned in a lethal whisper.

  Shadow laughed. “So much for the nonviolent hataalii. See how a woman changes a man? That’s why I’ll never get into a serious relationship. I like myself too much the way I am.”

  “Too bad nobody else does,” Joshua countered.

  As Nydia came back into the room, Joshua shot his two brothers a warning look.

  “Sheriff, I hope you’ve got some good news on the case,” Nydia said. “We could use some.”

  Gabriel straddled the wooden chair next to the fireplace. “I managed to get an FBI man to come in and search the bomb site. He was passing through our area and called me with an offer to help. Jake and I were thorough, though, because he wasn’t able to find any additional pieces of either the bomb or the detonator. Tests are still being run on the parts Jake and I uncovered, but I was warned that it’ll be a while before the state lab gets any answers for us.”

  “Did you find anything that will point to a suspect?” Nydia asked.

  “No, not yet. There were no fingerprints where the booby trap was set up, and except for the detonators, the materials used could have been obtained almost anywhere. The explosive was made from common smokeless powder, the type used in modern firearms, and available to gun owners who reload their own ammunition.”

  “Any of that powder available around here?” Nydia asked.

  “No. Most reloading supplies are purchased in sporting-goods stores in Santa Fe or Española. I’m checking into those now,” Gabriel answered. “The timers were pretty simple. The first one, the one Nydia disarmed, was the kind found on water sprinklers. It was modified to complete an electrical circuit when the desired time was up. The second came from an electronic egg timer. Directions for making bombs like this are available in any number of books and on the Internet via a computer. But to be honest, anyone with high-school science or industrial arts could have done this. Anyone with a detonator, that is.”

  As his brother grew silent, Joshua spoke. “I have one interesting speculation for you.” He told them about Darren’s truck at the feed store.

  “I’ll check into that,” Gabriel said, then once again grew silent.

  Joshua watched Gabriel as he paced restlessly. He knew his brother had something to say that he found difficult, so he waited, knowing that his brother would get to it in his own time.

  After several long minutes, Gabriel stopped and sat down. “I need help. This town normally doesn’t require more than one law-enforcement officer, but right now things are far from normal. The mayor is breathing down my neck. He wants daily reports and instant answers that I just can’t give him. I have leads, but not the manpower to follow up on most of them until I get some relief from the state police. And who knows when that will be.”

  “How can we help, Sheriff?” Nydia asked.

  Gabriel’s gaze took them all in. “I need all of you to search for people in our area who have used explosives or have had access to detonators. Mining companies, engineering firms and contractors are the most likely sources.”

  “I think you and Lucas, particularly if you deputize him, are more likely to get answers from companies like those than we are,” Nydia said thoughtfully.

  “We would have better luck focusing on people who may have had dealings with those kinds of companies,” Joshua said. “For example, we can talk to anyone who has had construction work done within the past year. We can also check out sites where explosives have been used in the last six months or so.”

  “Good angle,” Gabriel said.

  Shadow stood up. “I’ve got to check on my patients, especially if Fuzz is going to need me later. I should get going.”

  “Me, too.” Gabriel stood. “Will you start your end of this today?” he asked Joshua.

  “Yes. I’ll be leaving here shortly.”

  As they stood at the door, Joshua caught a whiff of smoke in the air. “There’s a fire somewhere. Not too close, but in the direction of Four Winds.”

  Shadow inhaled deeply. “Your senses were always sharper than anyone else’s. I can’t smell a thing. Let’s go uphill. Maybe we’ll be able to see something from there.”

  As they reached the top of the hillside behind the cabin, Gabriel used high-powered binoculars to scan the area. Finally, he gestured to a section of land close to town. “There’s a faint trail of smoke there. It looks to be close to the highway. Where do you think it’s coming from?”

  “The hogan behind my old home,” Joshua said, scrambling back down toward his truck.

  Chapter Eleven

  Joshua’s gut knotte
d with anger as he drove Nydia’s truck, which had been parked closest to him, toward the old hogan. “I hope I’m wrong. That hogan was the last thing that connected me to the days with my father, learning from him, and becoming a man. If they destroyed that, then they’ve left me with precious little.”

  “You have memories no one can take from you,” Nydia said. “Those will always be beyond their reach.”

  As they passed by the burned-out shell of his home, he was overwhelmed by rage and that familiar darkness that tore at his restraint. Like a drop of rain on a windowpane, it moved through him slowly but inexorably, leaving only pain in its wake.

  He drove past the old, giant cottonwood and saw it, too, had caught on fire, probably when they’d torched the house. His hand tightened around the wheel. “That tree defined what I am. At one time, it gave me comfort simply by being there. Its roots went deep into the soil, as I imagined my roots went into the heart of everything that was Navajo. That tree stood for strength and continuity, but in the end, man defeated it. Now it’s only a hollow shell that speaks only of death.”

  “Nothing lives forever,” Nydia said gently. “That’s part of our Way, too. Remember the story that tells why we still have death. When the Hero Twin, Slayer, met Death, he thought of destroying it, but Death reminded him that he was really not the enemy. That without death, there would be no room for the young men or their dreams which would shape the future.”

  Joshua smiled slowly. “I remember. In that story, Death says that he is a friend, though few really understood him. I’m glad you reminded me of that,” he said, but his mood remained somber. Even now, his knowledge was deserting him. Instead of drawing from it as he should have for comfort, he’d needed Nydia to remind him.

  As they entered the clearing where his old hogan had once stood, a faint trail of smoke still curled into the air. Only a pile of smoldering rubble remained. “So this is finished, too,” he said.

  Nydia touched his arm. “This part is finished, but that’s all it means.”

  He felt the warmth of her touch as it reached and banished the coldness he felt within. “Let’s go take a look.”

  They were walking around the burned-out hogan when Lucas and Gabriel joined them.

  “This fire was never a threat to anything except the hogan. The brush was cleared away,” Gabriel commented. “Whoever set it must have counted on our volunteer fire department not spotting anything this small. We probably wouldn’t have, either, if the wind hadn’t blown just right for Tree to pick up the scent. He’s better than a bloodhound sometimes.”

  “It hasn’t been smoldering long, either,” Shadow commented.

  “This is strange,” Joshua said, crouching by a section of the hogan that had been reduced to ashes.

  Gabriel joined him and followed his line of vision. “Someone took some of the ashes from here and scattered them all about. It doesn’t make sense.”

  “Yes, it does,” Joshua said. “In our tradition, ashes scattered after daylight is an insult to Sun--spilling them makes a trail for Poverty, who was avoided by the Holy People.”

  “So they want you to lose all your earthly possessions?” Lucas asked. “But that assumes that whoever did this knows a great deal about the dineh. I think it’s far more likely this was done by accident. Maybe they were searching through the rubble for something of value. That makes far more sense to me.”

  “To me, too,” Gabriel said.

  Joshua walked to what remained of his father’s blanket. Only bits and pieces had survived, but the ashes had been disturbed here, too. “We’ll have to wait and see to be sure of his intent, but our enemy will show his hand soon.”

  “Yes, I think you’re right about that,” Nydia said slowly.

  It was her tone that alerted him. He glanced back at her, studying her expression. Her slight nod told him all he needed. She’d heard the voice again.

  As they gathered back at their vehicles, he could see his brothers were eager to go. Gabriel, in particular, seemed even more restless than usual. He also had taken this incident to heart.

  “I won’t let them get away with this, Tree,” he said after Shadow drove off. “I know what this hogan meant to you, particularly now that the other is gone.”

  “My enemy is our enemy, true, but this isn’t up to you alone to solve.”

  Gabriel nodded slowly. “I know that we all share the loss of our father, but it’s hard to maintain the detachment I need to do my job as sheriff when things like this keep on happening.”

  “It seems to me that you each have a source of individual pride in your lives,” Nydia said, approaching. “That’s where you’re most vulnerable, and that’s where he’s choosing to attack you. Can you see it? With Tree, it’s his abilities and credibility as a hataalii.” Somehow, for the first time, it seemed right to use the nicknames the brothers shared, as if sharing their grief made her somehow part of their family. “With you, it’s your authority and duty as sheriff of Four Winds. With Shadow, it’s his responsibility as this area’s only medic. By forcing Shadow to keep an eye on you two, the murderer is diverting him from his duties and placing him in an awkward situation with the townspeople. This person doesn’t want to just get away with his crimes. What he really wants is to destroy the Blackhorse family.”

  Joshua and Gabriel stared at her as the truth dawned over them slowly.

  “Good insight,” Gabriel said at last. “I’ll keep it in mind as I continue to investigate the case. But no matter what our enemy tries to do, I can guarantee this. No one ever takes on the Blackhorse brothers and wins.”

  As Gabriel left, Joshua turned to look at her. “That was a valuable observation about our enemy and his motive. Your own?”

  “If you’re asking if it was based on that odd inner voice I’ve been hearing, it wasn’t. It was simply a matter of piecing together what has happened. I’m taught as an anthropologist to sift through information, discard what can’t be substantiated and formulate a logical theory. That’s what I did.”

  “Your talent will be useful this morning. We have work to do. Mr. Langdon’s property is at the edge of town. I know that he used dynamite to level some old buildings that were on his property. His kids were playing in them, and he was afraid that sooner or later they’d get injured. The blasting went on for a couple of weeks, on and off.”

  As Nydia drove, following his directions to the farm, Joshua saw her tensing up. Her fingers were curled in a death grip around the wheel. “Are you feeling all right?”

  She said nothing, then at last nodded.

  “You sure?”

  “I’m okay, I just—” She shook her head. “It’s crazy.”

  “What? Are you getting one of your…intuitions?”

  “Maybe. But it’s different this time. There’s no voice, just this feeling, as if ants were crawling over me. I can’t shake it.”

  “Is the blanket in the vehicle?”

  “Yes. It’s in the back so I could avoid looking at it.”

  “A warning’s a warning. We shouldn’t ignore it.”

  “If the peddler’s involved as I suspect, he’ll allow us to depend on these warnings he has planted in my head, then eventually use them to make sure we hang ourselves.”

  “So we’ll be skeptical, but still it’s foolish to ignore the entire thing.” Joshua watched Nydia carefully. She didn’t want to do this because she hated admitting that she had been influenced. “You shouldn’t close your mind to the other possibility, either. The dineh’s history is filled with magic. The Anglo world sometimes calls them miracles, but science can’t explain everything away. I know you resent these warnings, seeing them as an intrusion into your being instead of an attempt to help—”

  “That’s exactly what they are. The peddler tricked me, and I resent the heck out of it”

  “Why can’t you accept any other possibility?”

  She remained silent for several moments. “Beliefs that are based on coincidental incidents or even hearsay
have their place. They can give courage to people when they have exhausted their own, but they’re not for me.”

  “Yet you see how the Navajo Way strengthens me. It doesn’t take anything away.”

  “Yes, it is a source of strength for you. I never disputed that. I chose a different path than yours, because it’s one that I feel comfortable in.”

  A heaviness of spirit settled over him. If he could just find a way to show her that the peace he’d found through the old ways could also be hers to share, if she’d only reach out for it.

  “I’ll tell you what. I’ll take out the rug and hold it. Let’s see if this creepy feeling I’m getting has anything to do with its influence. Who knows? I may just be coming down with the flu.”

  “Do you honestly think that’s it?” he scoffed.

  “Don’t push it.” Nydia pulled over, stepped out of the vehicle and took the rug from the rear compartment of the cab. She stared at it for several long seconds, then shook her head. “Nothing. No warnings, no intuitions. Maybe it is the flu,” she said with a thin smile.

  As they got under way, Joshua kept a watch on her. Suddenly he saw her eyes narrow and her face became drawn. “What’s wrong?”

  “Someone’s going to come after us before too long. I know. I…heard it.”

  “All right. We’ll stay on our guard.”

  “But we were going to do that anyway! This is silly. It’s not exactly an apocalyptic warning of major proportions. It stands to reason that the more we investigate, the more someone will try to stop us before we get any answers.”

  “True.”

  “Maybe I’m just nervous about going to ask questions. It’s going to stir up a hornet’s nest, and you’re still pretty banged up. Your body needs rest and time to heal, but the situation isn’t allowing you time for that.”