“Just my dad,” Kaatje grunted. “He had to go out of his way to tell me he wouldn’t give me another loan, and that I’d better have some savings.”
“He loaned you the money for the boat?”
“No, his bank did.” She rolled over and lay on her back, staring at the ceiling. “I had to go through the usual approval process. I don’t think he helped a bit. But his bank offered the best rate, and that’s where I went. He acts like it’s his own money and he’s the one who decides everything.” She almost spat out, “He’s not even on the loan committee.”
“Try not to let it get to you. He cares about your security, that’s all.”
“I don’t need him to care about my security. I need him to leave me to my own business and him stick to his.”
Laurie snuggled into Kaatje’s reluctant embrace. “I know.” She rubbed her belly, trying to get her to limber up and accept some affection.
“Are you ready to go to Amsterdam now?” Her tone was just as cold as it had been when she talked about her father.
“We don’t have to decide that tonight.”
Kaatje pulled away, got up and sat on a small chair in the corner. “Yes, we do. I’m ready to go. If you weren’t here, I’d get online and make my reservations now.”
“Uhm…” That familiar fist was back, gripping her entrails like a vice. “How long do you want to be gone?”
“Through November for sure. I’d like to get busy and find clients for December since I’ve had some very lucrative Christmas sails. I really need to hustle to make money next year or I might wind up selling the boat.”
Ignoring that element of the issue, Laurie focused on the timing. “My sabbatical will be up before then. I’d…I think I’ve got to figure out something to do before I leave here.”
Coldly, Kaatje said, “Meaning?”
“It’s like your mom said, I’ve got to take some time to get comfortable. That’ll be hard to do in Amsterdam.”
“Why? That’s where we’ll spend at least three months every year. You have to be comfortable in Europe, too.”
“I know, I know.” The walls were closing in. The cabin was stuffy and she had to throw the sheet off to cool her body down. “What about the idea I proposed?”
Kaatje shook her head firmly. “I’m not going to buy another boat. It’s out of the question. This island doesn’t need more boats, it needs fewer. There are probably twenty of us competing for every client.”
“But you’re better at this than many of these guys. If we had two boats we could take bigger groups. We could specialize in long sails to multiple islands. There isn’t a lot of that offered here.”
“That’s because it’s impossible to stay busy. There isn’t an angle you can think of that someone else hasn’t already thought of. You’re not the first smart person to come to the Caribbean and try to find a way to make a good living, you know.”
“I know that, but I’m pretty good at figuring out how to take a process and make it better and more profitable.”
Kaatje got up and headed for the galley. “Fine. Now you just have to find a process that isn’t The Flying Dutchwoman.”
Laurie lay there and stared after her. Kaatje was rarely sharp or testy. Clearly, her father had upset her. But there was more to it than that. Laurie got up and put on a T-shirt and shorts and went into the galley. Kaatje wasn’t there, but the sliding doors to the cockpit were open. She was sitting, stark naked, in the captain’s chair, staring moodily out at the lights of town.
Laurie stood behind her and put her hands on her chilled shoulders. “Talk to me. I don’t want to take over your business, but if I’m going to be your partner, I do want to help you.”
“I know.” She patted her hand, then turned and kissed it. “But I can’t have you get too involved. Maybe later, after you really know how to sail and what the market’s like. But now you’re just guessing at things, and that makes me feel like you assume I haven’t thought of those ideas. It’s insulting.”
“Okay.” She sat down, now a few feet away. “I can understand that. If you’d made obvious suggestions about my project, I would have been irritated. But I think it’s clear I’ve got to find something to do here. And if you don’t want me helping with the boat…”
“I do want you to help. If you learn how to sail you could eventually be an equal partner. Then maybe we could get a second boat. But that would take years, Laurie, and I don’t see you having the patience for that.”
“Why would it take years? You know how hard I can work.”
Kaatje let out a long breath. “You learn by doing. You can’t know what to do in a bad storm until you’ve been through many of them. Books don’t substitute for experience.”
“I’m not sure that’s true. There have to be simulations we could work on.”
“Of course there are. But acting like there’s a man overboard isn’t the same as having a man overboard. You have to train your reflexes and your nerves as well as your knowledge. It’s more complicated than it looks.”
“Okay, okay. If we don’t have time for me to learn to sail, I’ll try to find a regular job on the island.”
“We’ve been through this. There isn’t anything on the island as complex or difficult as what you’ve been doing. Your project was as big as our national budget.”
“Well, have you given any thought to what Fernando said?”
Kaatje got up and walked over to sit next to Laurie. “I have. If you can find a job where I can work—sailing—I’ll go wherever you want. Any country on earth.”
That was such a stunning capitulation that Laurie’s chest tightened. Kaatje loved her island in the way many people loved their kids. It took a moment to come up with words to acknowledge her offer. “That’s a huge sacrifice. Huge.”
Kaatje looked at her with love filling her eyes. “I’d do anything to be with you. But I have to be able to stay busy, since you’ll be gone all day…at least.”
Smiling, Laurie said, “I know. The only thing Fernando thought might work would be to have me running the Miami theme park. We could finagle a way to have you run your business under a shell corporation in my name or something like that. It could work.”
“But I’d have to leave the country every six months.”
“Yes, but winter is prime season for charter sailing in Miami. You could spend summers with your family.”
“Without you.” She gazed at Laurie in the dark, her eyes seeming to penetrate the dim light.
“I’d take my vacation then.”
“The person who runs the park is going to take a long vacation in the summer? Ask the person who runs it now how that would go over.”
Laurie turned and put her hands on Kaatje’s bare thighs and squeezed. “We could work it out. It’s better than being apart all of the time, isn’t it?”
“Is that what it’s really down do?” Kaatje asked, sounding tired. “I get six months or nothing?”
“It’s no better for me!” Years and years of training herself to be calm flew away in the breeze. Her face was hot, her gut bursting with feelings she’d learned to tamp down. But she couldn’t control them now. They’d taken on a life of their own, and they scared her to death. “I want to be with you every moment, but I don’t have anything to do. I can’t make idle conversation with strangers all day. It’s not challenging enough for me. I want to accomplish something, make something work better, have something to show for my day.”
“Then get a job!” She got up and went to the starboard side and leaned against her chair. “There are jobs here. They’re not like the one you had, but it’s a job and it would keep you busy. Go work for my father. He’d love you.”
“We talked about that,” she said quietly, ignoring the outraged look on Kaatje’s face. “But the only jobs he ever has available are clerical.” She looked into Kaatje’s face, seeing, even in the dark, that it had colored. “I can’t do a job I could have mastered in high school! I could have been the CEO
of a multi-billion dollar corporation someday, Kaatje. I still don’t think you know how big a job I left for you.”
“I think I do,” she replied, her voice like ice. “And I think you want to go back to it. I believe you love me, but I also believe you love your job, and don’t want to leave it.”
“It’s not the job! The job was killing me. It’s the sense of accomplishment, the working with the team, the exhilaration from doing something next to impossible. I was never bored. Not for one second—”
“Not like you are here.”
Laurie stopped, her heart racing. It was time to face, then tell the truth. “I am bored. Not with you,” she said fervently. “But with taking clients out. It’s like I’m always on vacation, but there are other people around. I don’t like that,” she said quietly. “I want a job and an apartment or a house. I need more space. I need to get away from the boat after being on it all day.” She almost choked on the last sentence, but it was time to get it all out. “I need high-speed internet. I know it’s stupid, but that’s how I relax. You read books, I read business news on the Internet. But your satellite connection is awfully slow. Most of the time I don’t even bother, but it’s driving me crazy!” There. It was out. She was a shallow woman who needed mindless surfing on the Internet to feel complete.
Kaatje gazed at her for a long, long time. Finally, she said, “Okay. Figure out a way to allow me to work in Miami or anywhere else that has a body of water and I’ll do it. But I have to get a green card. I’m not willing to only see you for six months.” She stuck her jaw out and crossed her arms over her chest, looking like a battlefield commander. “That’s my best offer.”
*
Laurie spent a solid week and untold hundreds of dollars on phone calls to the US. Kaatje didn’t ask for updates, but things were vaguely stilted between them. One night, lying in bed after making love, Kaatje said quietly, “If it’s too hard to get me a work permit, I’ll just hang out in the US or wherever you want to be. I’d rather work but it’s not as elemental to my personality as it is to yours.” Laurie pulled her close and kissed her, relief flooding her. Kaatje was truly a fantastic partner. She was proud and independent, but still willing to be fully dependent financially—just to stay together. What a gift she was.
*
It took a few more days, but Laurie finally had enough information so they could discuss all of their options. They set up a nice dinner, with candlelight, in the cockpit, while half a mile out at sea. They both knew this was going to be a turning point, but neither knew the outcome.
Laurie started to speak, after carefully apportioning their food between their plates. She took a drink of wine and let it roll. “Here’s what I think we can get.”
Kaatje took a sip of wine, and Laurie could see her swallow nervously.
“The easiest thing is to get you admitted to a university. You could study anything that interested you. Oceanography…uhm…anything.”
Kaatje nodded, not saying a word.
“If that doesn’t interest you, I can get you a work permit fairly easily. You could do almost anything at Luxor. Hospitality, customer relations… there are hundreds of jobs. But you have to really do the job. It can’t be a way to just get in and run your business.”
Again, a nod.
“A work permit is easy, but a green card is tough. But if we can figure out a way to convince the government you have skills the US needs, we can do it. One way is to work for a few years for Luxor, in a job they have trouble filling. Once you’ve done that, you can quit and do anything you want. You can have your business legally, and stay with me forever.” She didn’t reveal how many strings she had to pull to get that promise from various levels of the bureaucracy. She knew Kaatje wouldn’t be impressed that the CEO himself had given the final approval, just to keep Laurie.
“How many years would that take?”
Glumly, Laurie said, “No one could give me a firm date.”
“Years?”
“Yeah, definitely years.”
“Ten years?”
Laurie shook her head. “They wouldn’t give me a guess.”
“Is there a guarantee I’d get the green card?”
Damn her and her perceptive questions! “Not really a guarantee. You never know what’s going to happen with immigration. And there’s a big backlog of applicants. You’d probably be in the…unskilled labor category.” She swallowed at even having to say that. “That makes it take longer.”
“Those don’t sound like very good options.” Kaatje finally took a bite of her food, and a memory flooded Laurie’s mind of their first night together. This was just how Kaatje had looked that night when she thought Laurie wanted to leave; guarded, suspicious, and hurt. “I don’t want to be a student, but even if I did, wouldn’t we be right back to this point when I graduated?”
“Uhm, yeah, I guess.” She brightened. “But I’d have four more years of work behind me and I’d have more savings. I could probably retire.”
“At thirty-six?” Kaatje’s look said it all. “You’re saying that in four years it won’t bore you to sit on my boat and talk with strangers?”
“Look,” she said, her voice rising, “I’m doing everything I can to make this work!”
Kaatje threw down her fork and leaned over the table. They were almost eye to eye and Kaatje’s gaze was smoking hot. “No you haven’t. There’s one thing you need to do. Change! You promised me you wanted to quit. You promised you’d be happy with me. You have to work on changing. It’s not going to be fast, and it’s not going to be easy, but this is where we have to be, and you have to adapt!”
“That’s not fair!” Laurie jumped up and Kaatje did the same. “You want me to quit my job and do what you want, but when I ask you to do the same you won’t!”
“It’s not the same at all. I want you to spend your days with me, working at something you could come to love. You want me to quit what I love and do something I don’t have any interest in. And you’ll keep right on working ungodly hours. So I’ll be there mainly for you to sleep with. When you’re not sleeping on the sofa in your office.” She turned and went into the cabin, emerging a few minutes later with her snorkel, mask and a powerful flashlight. She was naked and looked like she wanted to physically fight the first person she encountered. “I’m not punishing you, but I need to be alone.” With that, she jumped into the water, and Laurie watched her light slowly fade away in the dark, still water.
*
Kaatje was gone longer than was kind. Laurie was mad with worry, but she didn’t have the skills to jump in and look for her, which was folly anyway. After an hour, Kaatje’s light shown just off the bow of the boat, and Laurie realized she’d probably been very close for most of the time. There was no way she would have missed the light drawing near, so Kaatje had obviously just turned it on. She swam around to the stern and climbed the ladder, no longer looking angry. She dropped her gear and stared at Laurie whose eyes were red from crying. “It’s not going to work. You might as well go back now.”
Ignoring her dry clothes, Laurie grabbed her and hung on for dear life. “Don’t say that. Please don’t say that.”
“It’s the truth. I’m going to go to The Netherlands as soon as I can. You can go with me or…” She collapsed in tears, with Laurie joining her as their hearts broke together.
Chapter Twenty-Three
THE ONLY THING Laurie was sure of was that she didn’t want to go to Holland. She hoped to spend much time there in the future, but for now, she had to make a decision about Luxor. Being in Holland wouldn’t help her do that. For now, they were out of options.
It took a couple of days to get a flight to Cincinnati, and things were surprisingly calm between them. Kaatje wasn’t much of a fighter, and that was very reassuring. But she looked so sad and brokenhearted that Laurie could barely stand to look at her. They kept busy taking people out. Since most of the boats had gone down island, everyone who wanted to sail seemed to call. That was a big
blessing, because sitting on the boat trying not to cry was too much to ask for.
The day before she was to leave, Laurie caught Kaatje as she was exiting the shower. They hadn’t made love since they’d decided to part, but she couldn’t bear to think that they’d already had their last time together.
She put her hands on Kaatje’s bare shoulders and started when Kaatje turned and looked at one hand as though she were considering whether to allow it to stay. But her head slowly turned back towards Laurie and she grasped her in a feverish embrace. In seconds they were on the bed, with Kaatje yanking on the panties that Laurie was wearing. She pulled hard and they snapped, then were flung aside, forgotten.
Kaatje lay atop Laurie’s body, covering her completely—hands holding hands, legs pinning legs beneath her. “I never want to let you go,” she whispered hoarsely. “I love you with my whole soul.”
“I love you too,” Laurie cried, trying not to sob. She buried her face in Kaatje’s shoulder and tried to breathe in her soothing scent.
Kaatje gently grasped her face and turned it until their noses touched. “Work on coming back to me. Work as hard as you can.”
“I will. I swear I will.”
Then, neither needing to speak, they began to make love. They’d learned each other’s bodies and hearts. Words were truly superfluous.
*
The next morning, a cab met Laurie on the dock, the same dock where she and Kaatje had met. They stood there in the blazing sun, neither able to speak. There was little left to say. If she went back to Luxor, they were through. That was a no-brainer. But it wasn’t clear they’d make it if she quit Luxor. It was obvious she didn’t make a good first mate.
Kaatje tossed the bags in the back of the van, then stood there with her hands in the pockets of her shorts. She looked like she was going to cry, but her eyes were dry. Apparently there were only so many tears in the human body. Putting her head against Kaatje’s chest was both reassuring and terrifying. What if this was the last time that strong heartbeat thrummed in her ear? Kaatje tenderly kissed the top of her head, then stepped back, her expression now a blank mask. “Be safe,” she said, her voice strained.
Smooth Sailing Page 28
