“Want me to help you with your workaround? I’m pretty good at mission planning.” He gave her a warm look. Emma was like an older sister to him. “Maybe with two sets of eyes on this issue, we’ll come up with different ideas.”
She smiled a little. “Yes, I can use some help. I think once Khalid is presented with a solid alternative, he will go back to the States, and we’ll live there.”
“The work you do here is always dangerous.”
“We both know that, believe me. Sometimes, when I fly the Chinook and he’s taking off for his duty at the Apache squadron, I wonder if I’ll ever see Khalid again.” Her eyes grew moist. “I love him so damn much it hurts, Mike. I love him even more now than when we met, if that makes any sense.”
Nodding, Mike murmured, “It does.” He set the chess piece down.
“What about you?” Emma asked. “I can tell Khat is head over heels with you.”
“It’s been rocky from the start, literally and figuratively speaking. She found me on a rock pile, unconscious.” He smiled a little.
“She’s got PTSD really bad, Mike. I think you know that.”
“Yeah. I’m trying to get her off the front lines, Emma. But dammit, she’s flouted military authority and has pretty much gone rogue and done her thing. Her handler is a jerk and lets her do what she wants. There’s no oversight on her like there should be. My platoon chief is working with me, and he’s in the breach on this one. He’s got the power to get her off that op.”
“Does Khat want to stop?”
“No.” The word came out flat. Hopeless sounding. He pushed his fingers through his hair. “If Khat knew what Mac and I are doing right now, I think she’d take those two horses of hers and fly the coop. Go disappear back into the Hindu Kush.”
“Because she’s driven by the passion of her Afghan blood.”
He lifted his gaze to Emma’s dour-looking face. “That’s what I’m discovering.” And then Mike said to hell with it and quickly told Emma the rest of Khat’s story, her capture, becoming a POW and then being tortured. As he did, Emma’s eyes rounded with horror and with sympathy.
“My God,” she whispered. “I was kidnapped for two days and got kicked around a lot by them, but nothing like what happened to Khat.”
Mike rubbed his palms on his trousers. “Most of the time I feel like a fish out of water with her, Emma. Khat likes me and when we met, I kissed her just before I got airlifted out of the mountains. It did something to her. Threw her into some kind of crisis.” He shrugged. “Because now she’s really unsure of herself and what she wants out of her life. I see her being torn about it all the time.”
“That’s because she’s falling in love with you,” Emma said gently. “She may not even be aware of it, Mike. But by you stepping into her life, it’s given her a chance to reevaluate those years in the mountains as a hermit. She may be realizing it’s not been all that it’s cracked up to be.” Emma gave him an understanding look.
“Your explanation sounds better than anything I have,” Mike muttered, shaking his head.
“You love her, don’t you?”
Squirming, Mike finally said, “I’ve never been in love, Emma. I don’t know what it feels like. Do I like Khat? Yes. Do I want to make love to her? Better believe it. Am I worried for her? Hell, yes.”
“Do you want to protect her?”
He gave Emma a flat stare. “More than you can ever know.”
“Then you love her.” She smiled a little. “You guys are always the last to know.”
A lot of emotions stirred within him as he gazed at Emma’s gentle expression. “Well,” he breathed, “all I know is she needs holding. She needs to feel safe, because ever since her capture and torture, she’s not had a safe haven. It’s classic PTSD symptoms.”
“By you suddenly falling into her world,” Emma mused, “you short-circuited her life. Khat is sort of like a gerbil running inside a wheel. The gerbil is moving but going nowhere. If she never received proper help after her torture, somebody really screwed up. She should have been taken Stateside, gotten long-term therapy, emotional support and continual, ongoing help. The military should never have allowed her back over here. You and I both know that.”
“It didn’t happen,” Mike growled. The tension in his chest increased, and he unconsciously rubbed the area of his heart where it felt so damned heavy.
“If she loves you, and I feel she does, then you’ve given her an alternative, Mike. She might be ready to live again. And if that’s true, then living alone in the mountains isn’t going to be very appealing to Khat. You’re making her reassess what she’s been doing. That’s what you’re feeling around her. I would put money on it.”
“You should have been a shrink,” he said, giving Emma a grateful look. “Since you’re so wise, what the hell should I do next?”
Emma sat up and took a drink from her coffee cup. “Continue being her anchor, Mike. You know what you want to do—hold Khat, give her a safe place to ramp down, protect and love her. That’s what she clearly sees in you right now, but I honestly think the layers of PTSD combined with her captivity is like a dirty lens she’s looking through. I don’t think she’s at all in touch with why she’s so drawn to you.”
“Well,” he said, scratching his head, “I’m about in the same boat as her. I’ve just been following my heart and gut with her, Emma.”
“That’s good enough. The heart never lies to us,” she said, giving him a sweet smile. Emma’s green eyes grew merry. “You’ve never been in love, Mike? I can’t believe that! You’re eye candy. You can’t tell me women don’t drape themselves all over you?”
He had the good grace to flush. “No serious relationships, okay?” he defended. “You know how women are when they find out you’re a SEAL.”
Emma’s brows moved up, and she laughed. “Yeah, you studs don’t want for women, that’s for sure!”
Mike patiently tolerated her humor. It felt good to hear Emma laugh and look happier. She was one brave woman, and he admired her so much. She came from the Trayhern military family and dynasty, and being a warrior was in her blood. Just as being Afghan was in Khat’s blood. “Okay, okay, it’s probably true.”
She tilted her head, grinning broadly. “Seriously, Mike? Never found love?”
He shook his head. “Honest to God, Emma, I haven’t.”
“But what you feel for Khat is different than the feelings you had for all the other women in your life?”
“Yes,” he muttered, again on the defensive. “What I feel for her, I’ve never felt before.”
Emma rubbed her hands together, giving him a gleeful look. “Finally, you met a woman who is your equal.”
“Don’t go raving about it,” he muttered, giving her an amused look. Emma was beautiful, her auburn hair soft around her shoulders. She had the most amazing emerald eyes he’d ever seen. Khat’s eyes were a shade darker, but just as spectacular to him.
“You know I love you, Mike. And I want only the best for you. You and your father, Bedir, have done so much for our charity. If I can be of help with Khat, let me know.”
His voice grew low with gratefulness, “You already have. How did you get so smart?”
Blowing air between her lips, she said, “Life 101. I’ll be there for you and Khat. Just know you can call and talk to me anytime. I really like Khat. She reminds me so much of Khalid. It’s like looking at fraternal twins who were split apart and sent to different families after birth.”
Mike heard the door that led into their garage off the kitchen. “They’re back.” He picked up his piece and said, “Check.”
Emma laughed, holding up her hands. “I surrender.”
Mike stood up, hearing Khalid and Khat speaking in Pashto. He smiled a little. Khat had a big brother now. Again, he was grateful to Emma and Khalid. They were very busy people with stress-filled lives, and yet they were giving him and Khat the gift of three days at their villa.
As he walked around the table, Mi
ke felt his heart lift when Khat entered the kitchen, all smiles. Khalid was following her, grinning. It made him happy to see her smiling; something she rarely did. What would tonight bring? Did she want to kiss him again? Was she ready to be loved by him?
Everything was tenuous, but Mike promised himself he’d go with whatever Khat wanted from him. Emma’s words rang in his head about falling in love with her. His chest warmed with deep feelings that had never surfaced before in his life.
Maybe it was love.
CHAPTER TEN
AT 2:00 A.M., Khat couldn’t sleep. She sat out in the quiet living room, drinking hot Darjeeling tea, curled up on the couch. Her heart was in turmoil. Mike’s suite was right across the hall. He was a few steps from her room. Her mind whirled with excitement over all that Khalid had shown her earlier about their charity to help Afghan people.
“Want some company?”
She lifted her chin and saw Mike standing at the end of the couch. He was dressed in a T-shirt and a set of dark blue pajama bottoms. His hair was mussed, drowsiness in his eyes.
“Did I wake you up? I had a nightmare, and I woke up screaming. I was worried I’d disturb you.” Her heart started to pound. Mike called to her heart, her body. She saw him push his fingers through his hair and give her a concerned look.
“These walls are pretty thick,” he said, exhaustion torn from him. Khat sat with her hair down, flowing across her shoulder, her eyes shadowed, her skin stretched tight across her sloping cheekbones. She wore a sleeveless pink T-shirt and a set of pink capri cotton pajama bottoms. Her feet were tucked beneath her. He felt his body instantly react, and it was the last thing he wanted to happen right now. She looked fragile again. Before going to bed, Khat had been high with excitement on all that Khalid had taken the time to show her about their charity. But it was short-lived from where Mike stood.
Giving him a look of relief, she uttered, “Good…I was afraid I’d wake you up.”
“You didn’t,” he said, coming over and sitting on the couch. He sat near enough but not so close that Khat would feel crowded by him. He saw her eyes half close and she pursed her lips. “Hell of a way to lose badly needed sleep.”
She set the mug of tea on the coffee table and felt a desperate need for his company. “I know,” she whispered. Hitching up one shoulder, she said, “I wish I could control them, but I can’t.”
Mike felt her turmoil, saw it in the darkness of her eyes. He decided to take a step that could shatter the trust he had built with Khat. But as long as no one challenged her, got her to see herself or where she’d entrapped herself, nothing would change for her. He leaned his elbows on his knees, hands clasped between his thighs as he studied her in the silence. “Do those nightmares have to do with the scars I saw on your back?”
Khat froze beneath his quietly posed question. Her eyes widened. There was no judgment in his expression. His voice had been gentle. And his eyes told her he had put it together. Gulping, she felt a lump forming in her throat. “It does,” she managed in a strangled voice.
Mike saw the fear leap into her eyes. He straightened up and said, “Why don’t you come over here and I’ll just hold you, Khat?” It was a helluva bold step for him to take, but his heart was screaming at him to hold her. He held out his hand toward her. “Sometimes,” he rasped, “having a safe place to go to helps.”
Khat stared at Mike, her heart wrenching and starting to pulse strongly. The look in his eyes was tender with care for her. Moistening her lips, she nodded. Moving beside Mike, she felt his arm go around her waist and pull her up against him. Closing her eyes, Khat rested her head on his broad shoulder. It was such a change for her. She had been alone for so long and now, suddenly, to be in the arms of this man…
“That’s better,” Mike rumbled, pressing a kiss to her hair. Leaning back against the couch, he couldn’t believe Khat had come to him. Emma’s observation that humans weren’t made to live alone struck him. She was curved against the right side of his body, and he could feel her breasts pressing against his chest. Her palm lay over his thudding heart, and Mike felt good. Felt whole. As if Khat fit him like a long lost puzzle piece he’d been looking for, but never found until just now. He smoothed some of her thick hair across her shoulder, revealing her face and slender neck to his gaze. She smelled of roses and he inhaled it and her woman’s scent. Mike felt her slowly relax and inwardly, he breathed a sigh of relief. The trust was still between them.
“Do you ever get nightmares, Mike?”
He heard her faraway tone. “Sure. You can’t be in combat for as long as I have and not get them every once in a while.” He smoothed her hair from her temple, wanting to touch her, soothe and love her. Mike wasn’t sure where tonight would lead. “Do you have nightmares often?”
Khat nodded, nuzzling against his neck and jaw. This felt so right. And she was was so hungry for his tenderness. His fingers grazed against her temple, sifting through her hair, her scalp tingling with pleasure over his touch. Her mind gnawed on what his reaction would be to her if he saw her scars. Would he be so disgusted by her disfigurement that he wouldn’t want to be around her? Wouldn’t want to hold her? Yet he’d already seen them in the cave. Khat had just thought it when he skimmed the length of her back. A light touch, a warming one. Without thinking, she tensed as his large hand came and rested in the center of her back.
“Does that bother you?” he asked, kissing her temple. He placed his mouth against her jaw, kissing her again. She began to melt into his arms, her tension dissolving.
“No,” she whispered unsteadily, moving her hand across the material spanning his chest. He had powerful upper body strength, and she could feel the muscles beneath his flesh leaping, responding to her exploration. She dragged in a deep breath and released it. “I—I’m afraid, Mike…”
“I know you are, Angel. Your scars don’t define you to me. Did you know that?” He deliberately moved his fingers in a grazing motion across her back again, wanting her to get used to his touch. Understanding that he wasn’t disgusted by her scars, that he wanted her anyway, despite them. Even beneath the thin cotton fabric, he could feel the thick ridges, the tension in her scarred flesh. It made Mike angry. He wanted to find those bastards who had done this to her.
Shoving all those feelings deep into a box within himself, he focused on Khat. On what he knew they both wanted. It was just a matter of getting her to trust him and release her worry about what he thought about her scars.
“You don’t care, then?” Tears burned in Khat’s tightly closed eyes. His fingers continued to gently skim her back from her shoulders to her hips. His touch brought out her shame, and Khat couldn’t believe it didn’t matter to Mike. Her father’s words rang in her head, warning her no man would ever want her. Mike did. With each stroke of his hand across her back, Khat began to lose the worry and tension that had held her prisoner for so long.
Mike smiled a little, kissing her wrinkled brow. “Remember? When I became conscious in the cave? I saw you naked beneath that waterfall. I saw your back then, Khat. I figured something really bad had happened to you. I thought you might have been tortured…” His voice deepened, and he held her a little tighter. “The woman I saw in that moment stole my heart. I didn’t see your scars, Angel, I saw you. All of you. Your beauty. My God, you are incredibly beautiful to me,” he breathed, placing his finger beneath her chin, guiding her lips toward his and curving his mouth gently against hers. Mike tasted the salt of her silent tears, and it tore through him that she’d borne the pain for so long by herself. If he had anything to say about it, from now on, he was going to show Khat just how precious she was to him.
He heard her moan as he skimmed her wet lips and absorbed her salty tears, moving his tongue lightly across her lower lip. Khat’s breath hitched and then grew uneven. Her fingers gripped the fabric across his chest, and she automatically strained against him, telling Mike she wanted him. Lifting his mouth from hers, he saw her eyes slowly open. He smiled down at her
. “Let me show you just how much you mean to me,” he growled, holding her softened gaze. He saw no more worry, no anxiety in her eyes.
“Yes,” she choked, holding his burning gaze.
Mike nodded and released her. Standing, he held out his hand toward Khat. A fierce love tunneled through him as he watched her slowly unwind and stand. “You’re mine,” he growled, slipping his arms around her and picking her up.
Gasping, Khat placed her arms around his shoulders, not expecting him to lift her into his arms.
“Relax,” Mike whispered, holding her, kissing her brow. “I’ve got you.”
“But your arm…”
“The doctors don’t know what they’re talking about,” he muttered, carrying her easily from the living room and down the hall toward the suites. “My arm was fine at six weeks. That’s why I don’t wear that removable cast anymore.”
Content to be held, trusting him utterly, Khat rested her head on his shoulders and closed her eyes. Mike was so male, so confident, and she felt protection emanating from around him. A fierce kind of feeling that wrapped her in a blanket of security she’d never felt before. She was his. Hadn’t she always been from the moment their eyes had met?
Mike carried her into his room and shut the door with his foot. He brought her over to the king-size bed, where a 1930s art-deco lamp in the form of a pink lily shed just enough light into the room from where it sat on the black walnut antique dresser.
He laid Khat down, her red hair a blazing halo about her head and shoulders. He was hard, and he ached, but he knew tonight, more than any other, had to be for Khat. He came second this time, not first.
He sat down, their hips touching one another, and he leaned down, caressing her lips. “Tell me what you want, Khat.” Mike wasn’t about to blunder into this. He had no idea during her time in captivity if she’d also been raped. There was no way to know. He sifted his fingers through her silky strong hair. He eased from her mouth, holding her shining green gaze.
Taking Fire Page 15
