by Destiny, Sam
There was anger inside me, always had been. A kind of fury I’d never been able to cure.
Leah had been like a Band-Aid, but underneath, the wound had festered. I realized now that Katie had started to heal it. She touched that anger I had for years and made it less potent.
God, Katie. I think I love you.
The words were on the tip of my tongue as my spine tingled and pleasure threatened to take me under. I didn’t know if I’d muttered them, but when I came, her body tightening around me, teasing me for more, my mind was pleasantly blank for the first time in years.
KATIE
I’d expected to feel different the next morning, less worried, but I didn't. He was tender and held me through the night. Jesus, even the way he looked at me, spoke to me...
Everything about last night had been perfect, yet I couldn’t help but watch him while we ate breakfast. I couldn’t deny that he was sweet. He’d gotten up before me and had cleaned the kitchen before making me waffles.
“Thought this through, did you?” I teased. He’d clearly planned on me being here for breakfast. “What if I had turned you down?”
He shrugged, shoving another bite of waffle between his beautiful lips. “You would’ve stayed anyway. I wasn’t out to seduce you, Katie, no matter how it looked. I wanted you to come to me.” He took my hand across the table and kissed my knuckles. “I wanted it to be without pressure, without having to fear anything. In fact, all I wanted was for the two of us to be able to relax. I don’t know. I guess part of me wanted to see how you and I could’ve been…”
I knew exactly what he meant. If he didn’t suddenly have a child, could we have been a couple? “Are you worried I will turn you down? That I won’t want you because you now have a kid?” I asked in utter disbelief.
“I don’t know, Katie. I’m sure you planned to have your own family one day. Instead…” He shook his head. “You know, it doesn’t really matter because Cory is here now. You’re not bound to him.”
I put down my fork and withdrew my hand from his grip. “That might be, Hayden, but I’m pretty sure this isn’t what you planned, either. You must’ve wished for something different, too.” I had no idea what his plans for the future had been. “If Leah hadn’t put your name down on the birth certificate, would you have ever talked to me? Would you have considered having a family some day? Did you actively want to get married?”
I waited for him to say something, to explain how we would’ve gone on had the baby not brought us together, but it took exactly one look at his face to know he had no idea what he’d wanted.
“I wanted to be happy, Katie. I didn’t have a plan on how I’d achieve that,” he explained, then stood. “I was okay, you know? Hanging with Leah, occasionally having a few beers with the guys... I was content enough to not change that. If we had started talking and you and I had become something, maybe my plans would’ve changed. However, you know what they say about plans and fools.” He winked at me as he left the room.
“Hayden, would you have hit me up eventually?” I called after him.
I heard him chuckle. “Would you?”
Touché.
I didn't think I would’ve talked to him any sooner than he would’ve talked to me. I stood. I wanted to see him while we discussed this. I found him standing near the kitchen sink, his hands braced on the counter, head bowed, his back on display for me. I’d left marks on his skin the night before, and as much as I searched for regret inside me, I couldn’t find it.
I stepped up to him, kissing him between the shoulder blades. I had no idea what we now were, how he’d classify us, but it didn't really matter because we didn’t need to put a name on it.
Yet.
“No, I wouldn’t have,” I admitted, wrapping my arms around his stomach. He took my hands, kissing both my palms.
“Because?” he asked. I rested my head against his back, listening to his heartbeat. It was erratic.
“I never thought it could work, and before you say it, it wasn’t about you. It was me. I didn’t think I could be in a relationship, what with my shifts and all. I didn’t think anyone would want this, even without a child. I didn’t think I could get it to work.” Until there’d been no other choice. “Why didn’t you ever talk to me? What stopped you?”
He swallowed and took a deep breath. Something about hearing his voice while having my ear to his skin was even more soothing than usual. “I didn’t think someone as beautiful and smart as you deserved someone like me. I’m a simple guy. I like my football, my beer, and I enjoy sex, but I’m not the nicest guy out there.” He smirked. “And I know you know I get needy when I’m drunk.”
I chuckled. “You mean the times you asked Sarah to marry you just because she took you home?”
He’d never forced himself on her, and I knew he never would, but I’d heard more than enough about the way he’d make puppy-dog eyes and ask her to live with him forever. Of course, he usually topped that off with the comment that this way, only one house would be lived in. I knew he was adorable when he was drunk because he often tried to flirt, thinking he was the biggest hotshot out there—when, in reality, he was more like a teen stumbling around as he asked for his first date.
“Yeah,” he replied, finally turning and wrapping me in his arms.
“Maybe you just asked the wrong woman,” I commented, not meeting his eyes.
“And you would’ve married me on the spot?” he asked, his tone incredulous.
I shook my head against his chest. “I would’ve told you to call me when you’re sober and ask me out for dinner before we’d get anywhere near an altar.”
He kissed my hair. “I wish I would’ve asked you then.”
Boy, I wish that, too.
* * *
HAYDEN
I drew Katie closer, wishing I could change everything up to that point.
I should have done more with other people. Not that I would have cut out Leah, but I should have focused on others, too. I never knew how much my life revolved around her until she wasn’t there anymore.
All the chances I’d missed with Katie because I’d been certain Leah and I would just find someone by walking into a bar, or that Leah would walk up to Katie and just tell her I liked her.
Clearly, Katie and I knew about each other, had noticed each other, yet here we were.
“I wish I would’ve spoken to you before, would’ve changed the course of our lives.” Then again, chances were high she’d have broken up with me the moment Leah would’ve put my name down.
Then again…
Damn, these what ifs don’t get me anywhere.
“We still have years to come, Hay,” she whispered.
I pressed another kiss to her hair, staying quiet.
With everything I planned, I wasn’t sure if she would run the other way.
Then again, why should I care if she did? She was either in or she wasn’t.
“Hayden,” she prompted, pulling back to meet my eyes. “We do have years, right?”
I gave her a soft smile and kissed her lips, then whispered, “Leah thought she had years left and look what happened. I’m not making promises. However, I meant to discuss something else with you.” I checked the clock on the stove, realizing Dale would soon be over with Cory.
It was hard to believe, but I missed the kid. Had last night. I’d woken so many times in a panic, thinking he’d stopped breathing, only to remind myself that he wasn’t there.
“Yes?” she asked, her voice quiet.
I pressed my lips against hers, lingering a moment. She tasted amazing, tasted of herself, waffles, and the syrup I’d practically drowned the food in. “I wanted to go out with the guys tonight. Would you mind watching Cory? I promise, I’ll be home before midnight. I won’t be drinking, but there’s a game on. I just… I really would love to go out again.”
Katie’s expression relaxed a little as she pushed up to her tiptoes, silently demanding another kiss. I gave it willingly, then she nod
ded.
“Definitely. I can’t believe you remembered I was off today.”
I grinned. “I also remember that you’re working late shift Sunday, have morning shift the rest of the week, do a double on Saturday, then you’re off again until Monday. I listen when you talk, Katie. I promise.” I might have seemed absent, but hearing her voice had a soothing effect, so focusing on it had been easy.
“I never doubted that,” she assured me and hopped up onto the counter, drawing me closer. “Kiss me.”
I did, cupping her cheeks and holding her like she was precious. She tilted her head, giving me better access to her mouth.
“The little man will be back soon,” I whispered against her lips, and she drew me back in.
“Then we’d better hurry.”
The doorbell rang at that exact moment. I couldn’t help but chuckle as she groaned in disappointment.
“You’ll get another chance to be seductive,” I promised her, kissing her forehead before walking over to the door, welcoming my son back home, telling Dale I’d see him later that night.
HAYDEN
“That was close!” Dale slapped the bartop before lifting his beer to his lips. We were watching a game I usually wouldn’t have cared less about. The Carolina Panthers were my team. Neither the Patriots nor the Saints did anything for me, but sitting in a bar filled with Patriot fans, I couldn’t help but root for the team.
“Maybe that’ll finally wake them up,” Knox suggested, shaking his head. He’d opted for a Coke, which wasn’t surprising. With a police officer as your girl, you tended to be a little more…careful when you were out.
Besides, I couldn’t really say anything. I also had Coke in front of me. I hoped to catch Katie awake later on. I knew she wouldn’t mind me having a slight buzz, but with my son being so small, I wanted to be fit to drive.
“I canceled the lease on my house,” I stated in the middle of a touchdown run for the Patriots. I hoped the excitement of possibly scoring would make the guys forget I’d even said the sentence.
It had been on my mind for days now, and because I didn’t know how Katie would react, I hadn’t told her yet.
Knox choked on a sip of Coke. Clearing his throat, set his glass down. “You what? What’s going on?”
Well, now, that was something he didn’t need to know just yet. “Nothing. I just don’t need or want the house anymore. Things changed. My view changed,” I explained just as New England scored and everyone jumped up.
I followed their lead, joining in on the hugging and clapping, the excitement and the analysis of the touchdown.
I still felt Knox’s eyes on me, but he was torn between pressing me and being super excited because the Patriots were finally in the lead.
Sometimes I wished the guys I worked with would be less talkative, maybe just saying a simple “huh”.
“The next few weeks at work will be hard,” Dale suddenly said.
I arched a brow. “Is that so?”
He nodded. “For whatever reason, everybody suddenly seems to either want to move or declutter the whole house.”
Recently, the business started cleaning out old homes, too, and while I loved the manual labor, I couldn’t believe how heavy some of that old furniture was.
“Busy is good,” Knox announced. He still eyed me, making it clear he’d eventually try to find out what was going on with me and my lease, but I wouldn’t lie. I was glad he didn’t ask right away again.
Emptying my glass, I focused back on the screen, my mind racing. There was so much to arrange, so much to plan, but it probably wouldn’t take very long until the guys realized my house was on the list of those that were supposed to be decluttered.
“I’ll be there less. With Katie working, I cannot leave Cory anywhere,” I stated, and the guys both nodded.
“I’m sure the boss understands, but can we talk about—”
No, we couldn’t, because the Patriots scored again on an interception and the whole bar jumped back to their feet. I decided to only stay a few more minutes before I went home.
I wanted Katie in my arms, feeling as if my time with her was so much shorter than I wanted.
* * *
KATIE
I shifted the cell from my right shoulder to my left as I tried to wash out the spit up Cory had gotten on my shirt.
“What do you mean he’s selling the house?”
Sarah groaned in annoyance on the other end of the line. “I don’t know. Knox texted that Hayden just told them, but that he won’t say more. I figured you’d know, but…”
I didn’t. I had no idea what this was about. Besides, I didn’t think this house belonged to Hayden. He was probably renting the place, and if he broke that… Where the hell did he think Cory and he would go?
“Listen, the boys are on their way home. You’re at his place, aren’t you?”
I glanced around the tiny kitchen and realized that this place was more home than my apartment, and I’d lived there for years. “Yes. I’m going to find out what he’s up to,” I stated, not sure if I promised that to her or myself.
“Thank God.” Sarah sighed in relief. “Keep me updated, okay?”
I promised her I would, then hung up. Just after I’d placed the phone on the counter and dried my hands on a dish towel, the key turned in the front door. I collected my thoughts for a moment, then stepped out into the small hallway.
Hayden looked yummy in dark blue jeans and a simple light blue button-down, his hair wild and lips pulled into a grin.
“Hey, Hayden—”
I didn’t get any further as he swept me up into his arms and kissed me like a dying man. His tongue demanded entrance and I opened for him, heat pooling in my belly.
He pulled away. “Tell me Cory’s asleep,” he begged, searching my face.
I nodded. “Yes…”
Before I could gather my thoughts again, Hayden’s lips were back on mine. He walked me into the living room, toeing off his shoes without breaking the kiss, then placed me back onto the floor, kissing his way down my throat as his hands worked their way under my shirt, finding my already hard nipples.
“This shirt needs to go,” he ordered. My arms lifted, almost of their own accord, and he pulled my shirt over my head.
I needed to speak now, break the spell he had on me. “Hayden,” I started.
He pulled back. “Yes?” His eyes were hopeful, sparkling, making me push all my worries away.
He didn’t look like a man on a suicide mission. Yes, his actions seemed to be those of a man getting his affairs in order, but that look he gave me? Damn, I swore it was love.
“I-I… I missed you,” I whispered. It was true, but wasn’t what I wanted to say.
He chuckled, his eyes going dark. “That’s why I came back early. I missed you, too.”
His hands worked on my bra, dropping it to the floor. He knelt and pulled my sweatpants down, kissing my abdomen. He nudged me a little higher up onto the couch after pushing me onto it, placing my legs over his shoulders, making room for him.
Last night, Hayden had been somewhat hesitant, but not tonight. There was a quiet confidence in every one of his movements, each stroke of his tongue. He’d gotten me to the edge fast the night before, but tonight? It didn’t take long for me to know I was going to come before I’d wrapped my head around the fact that Hayden had come home just to seduce me.
“Hayden…,” I gasped as I reached for him, my legs starting to tremble.
When he stood, I was glad to see his jeans hadn’t made the way up with him.
Condom in hand, he suited up. I couldn’t believe how relieved I felt. I didn’t think I could wait another minute.
I grasped his shirt, ripping it down the front. Both Hayden and I froze.
“That was an accident,” I forced out.
“Sexy,” he growled as he thrust inside of me. My legs wrapped around him, drawing him closer. There was an urgency, and I couldn’t pinpoint why.
Was he wo
rried Cory would wake? Or was this about something else?
He thrust his hips, and all conscious thought fled my brain. I clawed at his shoulders, needing to hold on. I felt as if I were floating, as if I could leave my body and just enjoy the pleasure.
His pelvis rubbing against my core made this a hundred times more pleasant. “Hay, I’m close,” I whimpered.
He lifted me and sat on the sofa, me straddling him, moving me up and down his length.
“Do it,” he whispered. “Come for me, Katie.” He claimed my lips, swallowing every single sound as he stroked all the right spots.
As I shattered around him, I knew Hayden Park had forever ruined for any other man.
HAYDEN
I placed Cory on the bed, smiling to myself as he made spit bubbles. I’d never thought I could be a decent dad. The day Cory became mine, I’d actually been sure I’d lose him within a week because I knew I was probably the worst father anyone could have.
I still didn’t know what Leah had been thinking, but I knew Cory deserved the very best. And I intended to give it to him.
I changed him, letting him be naked for a while because he was the most active then.
I kept my eyes on him while I packed his things, my heart getting heavier with every little stuffed animal I placed into his bag.
“You okay there, buddy?” I asked, no longer finding it weird to talk to him. Yes, he couldn’t answer, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t listening.
As he kicked his little legs, I abandoned the task of packing to spend just a few minutes with him. I tickled his little feet, grinning to myself as he kept pulling them away.
I couldn’t believe how empowered you felt knowing someone counted on you, trusted you. Cory didn’t know what it meant to be betrayed, but he had utter faith in me to protect him.
