“Please,” he whispered, and she flinched.
“Is that why you created a situation where we would be forced to wed?”
He stared at her for a beat. Two. The time stretched out forever, and finally he bent his head. She deserved the truth. If he had any chance of surviving this, he needed to give that to her.
Even though he knew full well that the truth would not set him free. It would destroy him.
“Yes,” he whispered, lifting his gaze to her and holding it steady. “When I began, I was thinking of your inheritance.”
She made a sound in her throat that was unlike anything he’d ever heard. A sound of torment and heartbreak. It pierced the room like the cry of a wounded animal, and it took everything not to drop to his knees as she spun away, her shoulders shaking with the force of his betrayal.
He spun toward his brothers and found them staring, grinning, eating this up. “Why?” he gasped out, hardly able to find breath. “Sophie and I are nothing to you. You’d already won your victory when you stripped me of my allowance. Why interfere in this?”
“Because you deserve nothing good in your life, Rowan. You took our father, you took a portion that you never deserved,” Alistair said, his nostrils flaring and his cheeks flaming. “You took his love. And now I’ve returned the favor.”
Rowan stared, taken aback by the raw emotion in his eldest brother’s voice and on his middle brother’s face. He’d known they hated him for years. Today it was clearer than ever.
“You get out!”
He jumped as Sophie strode across the room, her eyes snapping rage. This time it was not directed at him, though, but at his brothers. And it was bright and glorious and strong and powerful enough that Keaton actually flinched.
“You two have done what you came for,” she said, running right up into Alistair’s face. “You are cold, heartless snakes and you should be ashamed of all you are and all you have been. You are not fit to shine his boots.”
Alistair glared down at her. “Even now you defend him?”
She narrowed her gaze. “I will not ask again. Get out.”
His brothers exchanged a look and then pivoted together. They pushed past Rowan and out the door without another word. Not that it mattered. As Sophie said, they had done what they came to do.
They had destroyed his world. Or at least helped him destroy his own. Either way, it was done now.
Rowan paced back to the door and softly shut it, granting them privacy. As he turned back, he said, “Thank you for that, Sophie. I did not deserve it.”
She lifted her gaze, and it was so fucking empty and pained. “No,” she murmured. “You did not. And now I’m going home.”
She moved to walk past him, to walk out of his life forever. Panic lifted in him, something so sharp and harsh that it nearly set him on the ground. He lunged forward and caught her arms, holding her steady. She thrashed for a moment.
“Please, please!” he cried. “Please let me explain.”
She pushed from his arms and backed up, her breath short as she stared at him. “And just how do you intend to do that, Mr. Sinclair?”
He flinched at her use of his formal address. And at the coldness in her tone and stare that accompanied it. He sucked in a breath and said, “By telling you the truth. All of it. From the very beginning. Please. Please, let me, and then I swear I’ll let you go even if it kills me to do so.”
Sophie stared at Rowan with a cacophony of emotion rioting within her. Topmost was the betrayal. His brothers had told her such horrid things, laughing as they did so, giving evidence for what Rowan had done. And then he’d admitted it.
But something else rose through all that heartbreak and pain. She was shocked at how desperate Rowan seemed. How emotional. He was panicked. He’d always been so strong, so unbothered, so in control, that seeing him now like this, she couldn’t help but be moved.
Of course, she knew that his terror might have to do with losing her purse rather than her heart.
But there was only one way to find out.
She folded her arms, wishing she could put on armor in this moment when she felt so hurt and so vulnerable. “Fine,” she said through clenched teeth. “Give me your explanations, Rowan. Tell me what exactly you did and how you think pursuing me for my money should make me feel.”
Relief washed over his features and he motioned her to the settee. She glared at him but slowly made her way there. She sat on the far side, her legs turned outward to put space between them. He sighed and took a place on the other side of the settee, not pushing in, not crowding her physically even though she could see he wanted to.
“Thank you,” he whispered. “May I get you anything?”
“Just talk,” she said, turning her face slightly.
He swallowed. “You have seen my art.”
She stiffened as she thought of that beautiful portrait he had done of her came to mind. It had meant so much to her, for he had clearly put so much of his heart into it. Would it be spoiled too when this was done?
“What about it?” she asked, trying to keep her tone cool.
“I told you that my father and mother supported me in my pursuits,” he said. “But I had to paint under another name, so as not to associate such a thing with my father’s title. The scandal if it came out would have been terrible. Men of my station don’t make art. That’s what those of Society would say. So I kept it private, and lived on the allowance given to me by my father.”
“But your brothers cut you off,” she said, flinching as she recalled their pleasure when they told her so.
“Yes,” he said. “The night of Alistair’s first ball as earl, he called me to his study and he and Keaton crowed that my allowance had been given as a boon at the earl’s pleasure. Unlike my mother’s inheritance, which they could not touch, mine could be taken away by whoever held the title. They stripped me of everything.”
“And lo and behold, the next day my aunt told you that this Season I had agreed to say yes to anything I was asked.”
His mouth dropped open. “Yes. Did you know all along?”
She shook her head. “No. My aunt let that fact slip earlier today. I was upset and worried you might have an ulterior motive in your use of that information. I came here so you could tell me that you didn’t. Instead, I found so much worse.”
He leaned in closer, and she shivered as his body heat swirled around her. She did not want to want him. And yet she still did, because he was Rowan and she loved him. Foolishly, perhaps.
But she still did. Being near him made this so much harder.
“I’m so sorry, Sophie,” he whispered, his voice rough and raw with emotion that she wished was real. “If I had known you were coming, I would not have gone out. I would have met with you and, I hope, assuaged your fears.”
“But would you have told me you pursued me for money?” she snapped, glaring at him.
He shut his eyes. “I don’t know. Yes, your aunt told me about your agreement. That the reason you were suddenly involving yourself in Society after so many years of saying no to everything and everyone was that you had promised her this Season of Yes. I was reeling from being cut off and entirely uncertain. I admit that…that in the beginning, your purse was as attractive to me as you were. That I thought perhaps I could benefit from what I knew.”
She bent her head and released her breath on a sob she wished she could hold back. She didn’t want to show him her pain or her weakness. But she couldn’t hold it in.
She refused to look at him as she lifted a fist to her lips and tried to control her tears. “You were just like the others. The others who didn’t want me for who I was. Men like my father who would marry for their own gain and never give a damn about their wife.”
He flinched at the comparison. “I’m sorry.”
“Sorry, but you intended to be just like him. Cruelly and purposefully.”
She moved to rise, but he caught her hand and held her in place. “No!” he cried, his
frustration clear. “That is not what I did. I started out with the idea that I could solve my financial problems through you. Yes, I did, I admit it, and I hate myself for it. But Sophie, that is not how it ended.”
She tugged on her hand, but he did not let her go. In fact, he pulled her closer so she stumbled into his lap. His arms came around her, drawing her to his chest, and she felt his heart throbbing.
“I fell in love with you,” he said, tilting her head gently so she was forced to look into his eyes as he said those words. “Do you understand? I love you, Sophie. For you. For everything you are and everything you make me want to be. I love you for your beauty and your wit. For your charm and your humor. For the way you look at me and see me and accept me for who I am. For the way you defend me, as you did today when my brothers attacked, even though I know you hate me right now. I love you for so many more things, but none of them is your inheritance.”
She squeezed her eyes shut, those beautiful words piercing the wall she was trying so desperately to erect. But he said what she’d wanted to hear since they made love.
He said it, and God forgive her, she wanted to believe him. And yet…
“Anyone who was desperate to keep what I could provide would say the same,” she said, pushing from his lap and pacing away from the touch that confused everything.
He stared up at her, his expression helpless and pained. And then it changed. And he nodded. “Very well, you want proof. I will provide a way to show you I’m true. Don’t give me the money.”
She blinked. “What?”
“Your inheritance is run by your aunt, yes? She may choose to take it if she wished.”
“I…suppose,” Sophie said cautiously. “She would never deny me, though.”
“She wouldn’t. She would change the terms of the dowry. The money would go to you. In your name alone, with specific instructions that I could not touch it. You would control it and I will ask for nothing.”
She shook her head. “So you would expect me to provide for our roof and everything else. I might control it, but you would benefit.”
“No,” he said, rising. “I would be your husband. My duty is to provide. And I would. I will sell my art, under my real name, my brothers be damned. If it is not enough to give you a life, a future, I’ll…I suppose I would find a way to do so. I have friends who are in industry. I could be a man of affairs or assist. Hell, I would work the docks if it meant I came home to you. If I could clear your mind of all your fears that I’m not true.”
She stared at him, shocked by the ease with which he turned away her fortune. For a man such as him, a man who had been raised in privilege, the idea of pursuing a vocation was an anathema. There would be some in his circles who would cut him off if he did so. The same if he revealed his talent in art. Men of his ilk were meant to be idle.
But he was saying that for her, he would not be.
“You would truly do this,” she whispered.
He nodded immediately. “I told you, Sophie. I love you. I love you. I would do anything in this world not to lose you.”
Tears stung her eyes once more, but this time they were tears of pleasure. She saw the man she loved looking back at her. She saw his honesty.
“When I thought you had used me,” she said on a gasp, “it cut me to shreds.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, easing closer. “I could call those two out at dawn for being so purposefully cruel.”
“I’m sorry you had to endure them all these years,” she whispered. “But the wonderful thing is that you never will again.”
He stared at her. “No?”
She shook her head slowly. “No. Because the fortune you are so willing to let go of to keep me is vast. But it is ours. I want it to finance the life we both deserve. I want it to support your wonderful talent. I want it to grow our family and our future. Because…I love you, Rowan.”
He staggered back a step, almost as if he didn’t dare believe what she was saying. “You do?”
She nodded. “I do, with all my heart. And it terrifies me to feel it. But it also thrills me, because when I look at you, I see my future. The good and the bad, the wondrous and the tragic, but shared together. One heart facing it all.”
Now he moved again, and this time she didn’t step away. He caught her in his embrace and dropped his mouth to hers, devouring her lips as he trembled with the force of his emotion.
“I thought I’d lose you,” he murmured between passionate kisses that melted her knees. “And I realized that it would kill me to live without you.”
She drew back, lifting her hands to cup his cheeks gently. “Now you’ll never have to,” she said. “Because I am yours in spirit, in soul and…” She reached between them, gliding her hands down between their bodies until she found the front fold of his trousers. Immediately he began to harden as she stroked him. “And body.”
His mouth found hers again, and he backed her to the settee. He laid her across it, his hands going into her hair, his body grinding against hers with promise. She lifted into him in return, aching for the moment when they would truly be one again. She needed that now, needed to feel his love and his passion for her. She needed to reconnect.
His mouth grew gentler on hers as his hands slid down her body. He cupped one breast, squeezing, rubbing a thumb over her hard nipple beneath her silky gown. She caught her breath at the sensations that echoed through her body at that touch. She throbbed all over, but especially between her legs.
His hand slid lower, and he caught her skirt, tugging it up, bunching it between them. He pulled away as he parted the slit in her drawers and dragged a finger across her wetness.
“Someday, I will take hours to do this,” he promised. “I will learn every inch of you. But for now, I just want you to have pleasure.”
She nodded, pressing her lips to his jaw, the part of his neck that peeked out above his cravat. He was unbuttoning the fall front of his trousers and his hardness pressed between them, hot and hard and ready. She was ready, too.
He wedged himself between her legs on the narrow settee and leaned forward. There was no pain this time. Just pleasure as he stretched her open for him. She groaned and lifted, taking him the rest of the way.
He stared down at her, eyes wide and filled with emotion and wonder. She reached up to cup the back of his neck and drew him down, kissing him as he began to move. He ground slow circles into her, drawing her inch by inch to the edge of madness and release.
“I love you,” he whispered. “I love you, Sophie. I love you.”
She clung to him as the pleasure crested, rocking her body with wave after wave of sensation. He continued to move within her, his eyes squeezing shut, his neck straining, and then he let out a groan of her name and she felt him pump into her before he collapsed against her body, smoothing her hair as he whispered soft words of love against her ear.
They lay like that for a while. She was in such a dream state that she couldn’t have said how long. Finally, he pressed another kiss to her lips, then sat up, drawing her with him as their bodies separated.
He smiled as he stood, tucking himself back into place. She did the same, though she knew there would be no way to entirely return to the state she’d been in when she arrived. Not in body, nor soul. This man loved her.
And she loved him.
She caught his hand. “You gave me a plan, Rowan, a way to prove to me that you are not interested in my purse.”
He nodded slowly. “And I meant it.”
“I will not allow you to give up your dreams. What is mine will be yours, my love. And with it, I know we’ll build something even bigger and better.”
He shook his head. “Sophie, I didn’t tell you I loved you or make love to you to convince—”
She lifted her fingers to his lips gently. “I know. I was hurt by what I perceived to be true. But I know you, Rowan. I know your heart. And I believe you. But there is only one thing I wish to retain from your original declaration.”
/> He stared at her for a moment. “You are too good, my love. But name what you’d keep and I’ll do it gladly.”
“I do want you to paint under your real identity.”
He blinked at her, the blood draining from his cheeks. “You realize we may face censure for such a thing. We will face it.”
“Anyone who would censure us would not be worthy of us,” she said. “Do not forget, I am Lady No. I am accustomed to looking fools in the face and thwarting them.”
He tilted his head back and laughed. “Lady No. I think it time to retire her, don’t you? In trade for Lady Loved. Lady Adored. Lady Mine.”
“And with you, Lady Yes,” she added as she wrapped her arms around him and kissed him one more. “For the rest of my life, yes, yes, yes.”
Other Books by
Jess Michaels
The Scandal Sheet
One wicked little paper, six stories of the scandals within.
The Return of Lady Jane (Book 1)
The 1797 Club
For information about the series, go to www.1797club.com to join the club!
The Daring Duke
Her Favorite Duke
The Broken Duke
The Silent Duke
The Duke of Nothing
The Undercover Duke
The Duke of Hearts
The Duke Who Lied
The Duke of Desire
The Last Duke
Seasons
An Affair in Winter
A Spring Deception
One Summer of Surrender
Adored in Autumn
The Wicked Woodleys
Forbidden
Deceived
Tempted
Ruined
Seduced
The Notorious Flynns
The Other Duke
The Scoundrel’s Lover
The Widow Wager
No Gentleman for Georgina
Lady No Says Yes Page 9
