by Dee Palmer
“But he can’t have just believed you? Why didn’t he come back? What else did you say?” My speech is starting to slur.
“It was November 27th. Ring any bells?” Her voice is dripping with vile intent.
I gasp. “John’s funeral, but I didn’t go to his funeral. I couldn’t… I just couldn’t.” My heart sinks, as I remember that day. It was all my fault, and I had let him down so badly, I couldn’t face the service. I couldn’t stand it, so I hid on the edge of the graveyard, watching until it was over. My mum took my place. “Oh, God!” I cry. “If he went to the church, he would’ve seen Mum, but….”
“Yes, stroke of luck he didn’t actually try and speak to her, but I didn’t think he would, after waiting sixteen years to make an appearance and then turn up too late.”
“Did mum know?”
“No, why would I tell her? You’re really not catching on with the ‘I hate you thing’, are you? If I’d told her, she would’ve pursued him, and you would’ve had your happily ever after. Well, fuck that!” She spits at me.
“Why tell me, now?” I draw in a breath that fails to clear my haze.
“Oh, I don’t know, Bethany. How are you feeling right now? Angry and cheated? Hurt maybe?” She tilts her head with fake concern.
“No, Kit, you can’t hurt me. That would mean I care about what you have to say.” I try to hold my head a little higher, but it flops slightly.
“Really?” Her smile is pure malevolence as she pauses for effect. “You know he cried for you, he bled out in that cold alley, and you weren’t there.” Her eyes sparkle with malice and evil, and my body starts to shake as I slowly comprehend what she is talking about.
“You were there?” My voice is small.
“You never knew, and of course I was there. You know he kept saying you were nothing like me, so I told Dick to hit him, stupid fuck. But he died because of you, he would still be alive, if it weren’t for you!” She takes a moment as I absorb this. “Daniel, well, if that is what happens to people you love, I don’t think this is such a sacrifice. I mean it will probably save the lives of Daniel, Sofia, Paul, and Marco.” I squeeze my eyes tight as the faces of the people she lists appear before me, she nudges my knee and points to four more pills, but I hesitate. “Take the fucking pills!” She shouts and makes me jump, but I am starting to feel sleepy. She stands and grabs her coat.
“You are leaving?” My speech is no longer my own.
“Ah, sweet, you want me to stay? Sorry, darling, but I have no intention of seeing the final show.” She looks to Clive, who barks a nasty laugh. “No fucking DNA, Clive! She already got a skin full the other night; don’t leave any here. Make sure you wear a condom, and that she is dressed when you leave. I don’t need an investigation into this. Standard suicide, and move on, understand?” He nods slowly,not taking his eyes off me.
“Bethany, thank you for all your help. You’ve been a star, really.” She leans down and kisses me on my head, actually kisses me. I am dazed, but I suddenly snap my head and stand up in her face.
“Seriously, Kit. What are you doing? This is crazy. Who does this? Who kills for money?” I sway a little. She laughs loudly.
“Oh, Darling, now you are just being naïve.” She turns to Clive. “I’ll drive the Range Rover, make sure you walk before you grab a taxi, and don’t take all night.” She walks out of the door, and I flop down on the sofa, my vision is starting to blur, and I feel really woozy, like I am starting to float, and my head falls back. I can feel rough hands on my mouth and some more pills put on my tongue followed by water, I swallow but then choke and spit. He curses and grabs my towel from me. I look at him, my eyes narrow, trying to focus on the fuzzy image. I can make out that he is taking his shirt off and sitting back. “I’m just going to leave it a little longer. I don’t want any of that fighting shit from the other night. You nearly blinded me, you little bitch.” I laugh at this, and I am rewarded with a much harder back hand across my cheek, a throb in my eye socket, and instant pressure in my head. My eyelids droop, but time means nothing; it could have been minutes or days when I hear his voice again,
“You look ready. I don’t want to be fucking a corpse.” I feel him lift me onto his shoulder, my head swinging like a rag doll. My whole body feels like jelly as he throws me on my bed with a loud crack. Not sure if that is my back or the wooden slats, because there are definitely no springs in my bed. He looms, large and ominous, above me; he has removed his trousers but has dark boxers on. He is kneeling over me, and he flips me onto my front and starts to pull at the waistband of my jeans. Stupid fuck should’ve undone the buttons before he flipped me. He is grabbing my hips, but his hands feel funny, smooth and slippery. He sits back with a growl, and I hear a snapping sound. “Fucking latex, damn gloves, can’t feel anything with them on, same goes for a condom.” He starts again at my buttons and loosens them enough to pull my jeans down to my knees. He pulls my panties down too and I start to cry loudly; it’s the only part of my body that seems to be responding. Inside I am screaming at my body to move, to fight, to run…nothing.
I can feel his weight. God, he’s so heavy, I’m not going to be able to breathe. I’m going to suffocate. His face is pressed to mine, and I can feel his fingers trying to get between my legs. He is fighting his own weight as his own body presses my legs together, and he is roughly trying to get enough space to push into me. My eyes are tired, and I know I’m sobbing, angry at my useless body, my useless exhausted body. My chest is heavy, struggling for breath. I can’t seem to suck in enough air. Everything is so heavy, my arms, my chest, my eyelids. Then all of a sudden I am floating, and it’s okay; I can breathe, and a fresh gust of oxygen hits my grateful lungs. I can’t move my arms or legs, but I can breathe and my eyes open, as I feel a sharp pinch in the inside of my arms. Fuck, that’s going to bruise, and I frown and mouth, ‘Ow’
“I’ll do it again, if you don’t keep your fucking eyes open!” I am being shouted at and whoever it is, is really angry. I snap my eyes open, only they don’t snap, they glide slowly open, and the fuzzy image in front remains fuzzy, along with the ever-changing background of lights. The lights hurt my eyes, and I try to close them again. “Ow” I cry at the second pinch.
“Which part of keep your fucking eyes open didn’t you understand, Bethany?” All right, so he knows me, but he is still being a prick, and he keeps pinching me.
“Fuck off!” I slur, it sounded much more forceful in my head.
“Do you think that’s polite?” His deep voice causes an instant reaction, my eyes are wide, and my skin is tingling all over.
“No,” I whisper. “No, Sir.” He brushes the hair from my face and leans in and kisses the spot below my ear.
“Good girl,” he whispers but I’m too tired to play, and I close my eyes again.
“Ow!” It really hurts, and my eyes spring forth with tears.
“I’m sorry, baby, but you have to keep your eyes open. We’re nearly there, but you have to stay with me.” He sounds desperate, and I try really hard to do what he says.
“I can’t, I’m too tired. Keep pinching me, it’s the only way.” I close my eyes, and once more I feel the nasty pinch, and I sob but open my eyes. This happens every few minutes, from what I can tell, and every time I open my eyes, we are somewhere else, but Daniel is always there, pinching me. First the ambulance, then the stretcher, then the room. The room is so bright, and I can feel the rough tubing causing unbelievable pressure at the back of my throat. My head flops to the side, and I can feel his warm strong hands hold my head upright. That is just before I hurl myself forward, evacuating everything from my body. I just don’t remember eating that much. I mean I don’t remember eating that much in my entire life. My stomach is cramping with exhaustion, and yet I am still being flushed with liquid that I then spend the next hour hurling into a bucket. I lay my head on my arm on the edge of the bucket and gently close my eyes.
“Don’t fucking… pinch me again…I’m not going anyw
here…I’m just exhausted.” My words are breathless pleas. He must hear it in my voice, because there is no pinch, and there is no reprimand for being impolite either. The tube has been removed, but I still don’t dare let go of the bucket. I don’t know what was in that stuff they pumped into me, but the reaction it caused was scary explosive.
“The doctor said that anything you consumed in the last twelve hours including the pills should be out of your system now.” Daniel strokes my back and is trying to reassure me.
I snort. “No shit, Sherlock… I happen to think anything I’ve consumed in the last twelve months is out of my system after that.” I press my hand to my temple, I have the mother of all headaches starting. Daniel chuckles, then calls over a nurse. She gets the doctor, and she decides to start an IV for fluids, as the dehydration is causing the headache.
“I know you’re tired, baby, but you can’t sleep yet, and it’s best if I can keep you walking and talking.” His fingers are tracing patterns on my back that is sending me to sleep, but I don’t want him to stop.
“I don’t want to talk.” I pout.
“I’m sure you don’t. You probably don’t want to walk, either, but luckily it isn’t up to you.” He states as a matter of fact. Once the IV is in, he slips a large cashmere wrap around my shoulder, puts some fluffy rubber soled spotted socks on my feet, and takes my arm.
“Shall we?” He flashes me a dazzling smile, unfazed by the fact that I have had my head stuck in a bucket for hours. We start our circuit of the hospital floor, and I am relieved he isn’t planning on taking me outside.
“You lied to me.” I tell him quietly, and he tilts his head as his lips curl in a grin.
“Well, pot, kettle! What did I lie about?” He smiles, but he looks as tired as I have ever seen him.
“You promised you wouldn’t come. You didn’t keep your word.” My words are quiet, because it still hurts to talk at all.
“No. No, I didn’t, and I’m not sorry. I am sorry for many things, but that isn’t one of them,” he adds softly.
“I only lied once, and you knew it was a lie at the time.” I’m thinking about when I told him I didn’t love him.
“I know,” he confirms with no explanation. “Why didn’t you tell me what she was doing?”
“I tried, but you thought it was this wonderful family reunion, and she had her story so well sewn, I had nothing to contradict it. I just came across… Well, you looked so disappointed.” I stop to catch my breath. “Like you needed me to forgive her.”
“I know.” His expression holds a world of regret I don’t quite understand. “Do you want to sit down?” He brushes my cheek with his knuckles.
“No, I’m fi-- I’m okay to carry on walking; it actually makes me feel less sick.” His strong arms wrap around my slowly shuffling body and help in more ways than assisting mobility. “When I found out what she wanted, and what she was prepared to do, I didn’t have a choice, Daniel, and she wasn’t wrong about anything she said.” My voice starts to break.
“Who’s the shallow one now, Bethany?” His voice is loud and stern.
“I’m not shallow, Daniel, I’m a realist, and a little insecure and a lot scared shitless. Besides, you believed what you saw, where would we honestly go from there?” My eyes still manage to fill despite the dehydration.
“I did, but I didn’t really look at the time. But when I did, I saw photos of Marco fucking someone not nearly as hot as you.” He has a wicked grin, and I meet the heat in his dark blue eyes.
“But?”
“Do you honestly think I don’t know every inch of this beautiful body, that I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference?” His laugh is sexy as hell and has my skin prickling.
“Why didn’t you?-” I am confused and a little bit hot, which is gross, because I must look like shit and smell like yesterday’s sick. He interrupts.
“It wasn’t until after the attack that I suspected anything at all, and even then I didn’t want to believe it was Kassandra. She was always so kind about you, so curious and interested. It’s why I liked being with her at all. I got to talk about you all the time. I had no idea, but why would I? I didn’t know how you would so easily walk away, and you wouldn’t tell me. Fuck, you just shut me out, and you just carried on. I could see you just carrying on, but when I saw you in the lecture I knew you were in pain. God, it killed me to see you like that.” His hand cups my cheek.
“You’d never know.” I snort.
“That’s because you thought this--” he waves his hand “--was one sided. I thought I could help you with focusing on something else and get you to talk to me at the same time, but, God, you’re stubborn.” He growls. “Something we can work on, I think.” He brushes his hand down my back and across the top of my bottom, and I clench with heat at the contact.
“It did help; it’s strange and I don’t understand it, but it did help. Would’ve preferred to not be attacked so Sofia had a good glimpse of my private life, but, hey…”
“I’ll never forgive myself for not protecting you. I am so sorry I waited, if I had chased the results, none of this would’ve happened.” His chest is rising rapidly, and I stand in front of him and put my hands on his face.
“There is nothing to forgive, Daniel. You did get to me.” I smile and hold his heated gaze, filled with lust and desire. “I’m not going to kiss you, you know that, right?”
“I was really hoping you wouldn’t.” His mouth rises to one side in a smirk.
“But once I’ve brushed my teeth and don’t stink, and maybe don’t look like I’ve done ten rounds with Tyson, well, then, you’re all mine, Stone.” I wink and grip his shirt in my tight fists.
He laughs loudly. “Miss Thorne, that was never a choice.”
THE END
If you fell in love with Daniel and Bethany, there is a treat at the end after the acknowledgement for you.
Oh and a Daniel POV chapter here if you subscribe:
click here
xDee
Take me to church—Hosier
Run—Snow Patrol
Make this go on forever—Snow Patrol
Changing -Linkin Park
Best of you -Foo Fighters
Halo—Florence and the Machine
The Only One -James Blunt
My Immortal -Evanescence
Focus-Emma’s Imagination
Big Big World—Emilia
How Long will I love you -Ellie Goulding
Figure 8—Ellie Goulding
Tessilate -Ellie Goulding
I know you care -Ellie Goulding
(had a bit of an Ellie Goulding thing going on)
Wheels -Lone Justince
Heavy Cross -The Gossip
Stay with me—Sam Smith
Orbiting -The Weepies
My thanks and appreciation definitely falls into two camps and rightly or wrongly I am going to thank those how aren’t necessarily closest to me but are without a doubt the reason this book is the first of a trilogy: My beautiful beta readers, Kymme and Lynn. I know I chose wisely when I asked you to read this story but you did and you not only were kind enough to ignore the roughness in the first copy but you saw the potential and encouraged me to continue. I love you for your enthusiasm and truly unbelievable support.
The second camp is wholly of the moral variety, given that my family are both horrified and proud in equal measure that I decided to write an erotic romance. I am happy with my genre choice but I am sorry that when I left my draft copy on the side your game of page roulette left you a little scared but hey, you’re adults and you should know better! You know I couldn’t do this without your support and love and for that I am grateful every day. Laraine for skirting around the content but encouraging none the less. To my mum, because even though you moved so far away I always know you’re there when I need you and you’re always on my side, I love and miss you every day. You are my most blinkered cheerleader.
Indirectly I have been given advice and encouragem
ent from other authors, namely Kitty French, Pepper Winters, Ker Dukey and Jodi Ellen Malpas and I am hugely humbled that they take the time to respond and are kind enough to share their knowledge and support. It means so much - thank you.
My editor Philippa for agreeing to work on my book - you were so worth the wait. Also Angela for my beautiful cover designs which, when I first saw it, made me feel like ‘Whoa! This shit just got real’. A HUGE thank you to my twelfth hour heroines; Joan, Kate (Stacey and Kitty again) copy editing is the devil’s work!!And not lastly but certainly importantly the bloggers that have taken the time to reply to my review requests and have shown an interest in wanting more; THANK YOU :)
But mostly, I’d like to thank you, for choosing to buy my book and taking the time to read it - a huge, I mean really huge, thank you, you will never know how incredibly grateful and honoured I am that you have and I would be even more so if you are kind enough to leave a review at at your favorite ebook retailer or Goodreads.
The People who make it all happen.
Dee Palmer - Author
Website - www.deepalmerwriter.com
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Editor- Philippa Donovan - www.smartquilleditorial.co.uk
Formatter- Champagne Formats - www.ChampagneFormats.com
Cover Design Angela - www.angieocreations.com
