by Nancy Adams
As soon as we were out of earshot, I asked my mother to join me in the kitchen. She gladly did, breaking her own rule and pouring herself a drink from a stash that I didn’t even know existed.
“Your father’s impossible,” she said, knocking back the drink.
“Yes, I noticed.”
“What are we going to do about him?”
“Pray that he gains some common sense and actually starts to take care of his body?” I said.
She nodded. “That’s a good place to start.” She rubbed her face in exhaustion, and I finally noticed just how stressed out she was. She honestly looked worse than my father. I could see the weariness around her eyes, and her mouth seemed to be in a perpetual frown.
I crossed over and placed my hands on hers.
She didn’t react. She only said in a small voice, “I love your father.” She then took a small sip of wine. She stared off into nothing. I was worried about her.
“I know you love Daddy,” I whispered.
She turned to look at me and then tugged gently at my hair. She smiled slightly as she did and said, “You look so much like him. But prettier, of course.”
“Mom, you’re not going to lose Dad. He’s going to be fine. As long as he sticks to his diet and workout schedule, he’ll be his usual formidable self in no time.”
“I know you’re right, just part of me is scared to death of losing him. When they told me he was in the hospital I felt as if someone had punched me in the stomach. All I could picture was your father in a casket.” Her voice cracked at the end and I held my hand out to take hers again.
“I know what you’re thinking. And no, I’m not having a breakdown,” she said, raising her eyes to meet mine as she squeezed my hand and then slowly released it.
I had actually been thinking that she was having a breakdown. Crying, showing emotion—this wasn’t the mom I was used to.
“Why don’t you take a nap?” I said, leading her away. “Between me and Silas, I’m sure Dad will be fine. You need your rest too. I can’t have two ailing parents,” I said, chiding her, hoping she would smile.
She attempted to smile, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. Patting my hand stiffly, she said, “Thanks for coming home. I’m sorry I ruined your vacation. I should have taken care of your father on my own.”
“You didn’t ruin my vacation. You needed me. It’s all part of being a family.”
She gave a massive yawn, and it was only then that I realized she was exhausted. I left her at her bedroom door and said, “I’ll just be down the hall.”
Feeling exhausted as well, I made my way back to my childhood bedroom and fell fast asleep. I knew Silas was around. Ever present, but rarely seen, I knew he would attend to any needs my father had while I slept. I curled up into a fetal position and fell asleep, but before I did I found myself wishing that Ezra was there with me.
* * *
The insistent knock at my door woke me up, and I sat and blinked lazily before forcing my legs to move. They were stiff and heavy as I made my way to the door and then opened it, fighting back a yawn.
Libby and Sarah stood there behind an anxious-looking Silas. Silas had a droopy face and small bear-like eyes and always spoke in a serious monotone voice. I guess Libby and Sarah’s presence was making him nervous though, as he plucked at an invisible piece of lint from his sleeve. He was fidgeting, and Silas never fidgeted.
“These two are here to see you, Miss. I told them to wait downstairs, but they insisted on coming up.” He frowned in disapproval, although he’d known my friends for years. He insisted on being formal, and Sarah and Libby seemed to go out of their way to interrupt that. They were trouble, pure and simple. Libby was the instigator, but Sarah readily followed.
“Hugs!” Libby called out, embracing me and almost knocking me over. Sarah laughed while Silas looked on in disapproval.
“Hey Silas, are there any more of those yummy cookies you make?” Sarah asked him, and he immediately softened upon hearing her request. She had always been his favorite. It was likely because she had an affinity for animals and Silas bred hound dogs professionally. I heard he was one of the most sought-after dog handlers in the world when he wasn’t busy attending to my family’s needs. Sarah had shared that information with me, of course. For the most part, Silas didn’t talk about what he did when he wasn’t here.
“For you, Miss, of course. I’ll leave you to it.” He headed off back down the steps with more pep in his stride.
I was finally able to untangle myself from Libby’s arms as she studied me, saying, “You look tired. Do you need a nap?”
“I just woke up.”
“Oh. You look like crap.”
“Thanks.”
“Seriously, Libby?” Sarah said shooting her an annoyed look. “Welcome back, anyway. I’m sorry about the circumstances, but it’s so good to have you back. I was scared Texas would swallow you up whole.”
“Well, it almost did,” I said, and told them the whole story about the resort, the sudden flash flooding and then finally about Ezra.
“I knew that place sounded too good to be true,” Libby said, fluffing up one of my pillows and collapsing back against it with a sigh. “Oh what I would give to be rich,” she mumbled to no one in particular.
Sarah rolled her eyes at Libby’s dramatics and said to me, “You almost died down there. Now I’m immensely grateful to see you again.”
“Thanks. At least one of my friends cares about me,” I said, pointedly looking at Libby.
“Hey! I care! A lot.” She held herself up on her elbow. “Now tell me more about Ezra. Did you have your way with him? Did you two get down and dirty?”
“Ignore her,” Sarah said, but then she turned to me and said, “So, umm, did you?”
“Wow, Sarah. Libby’s rubbing off on you,” I responded, shaking my head.
“Tell me about it.”
“I’m still in the room, you guys,” Libby said, “At least have the decency to talk about me behind my back.”
We laughed and then Libby spoke. “In all seriousness, it sounds like you like this Ezra character. More than you even liked your fiancé…errr, husband…whatever he is or was.”
“Was,” I said quickly and then sighed. “Ezra’s pretty amazing. He’s like the quintessential Texas guy: a little rough around the edges, ruggedly handsome, masculine, hard-working. He smells like the outdoors and has calloused hands that are used to hard work—”
“Among other things,” Libby interjected, and I blushed.
“He’s also genuine and kind. He’s not pretentious. And he actually listens to me when I talk. And he’s a gentleman.”
“Oh, that’s too bad,” Libby added, and Sarah shot her a glare.
“And he’s fun and when I’m with him, I don’t know, I just feel safe and cared for. We just had this connection after the whole flash-flooding incident and I care about him. More than I’d like to admit. This is just crazy, because we’ve only known each other for a month.”
“Well, when something feels right, then it just does. There doesn’t have to be a rhyme or reason for it,” Libby said, surprising me.
“Are you saying you would just throw caution to the wind and get emotionally involved with some random guy you met on vacation?” I asked her.
“Emotionally involved? Definitely not. But if I felt something there, you know, if there was some sort of chemistry then yep, I would definitely look into it. I wouldn’t ignore it. I would pursue it.”
Sarah and I just stared at her. “What? You? The infamous serial dater who never gets involved with anyone would pursue something with a guy you’d only known four weeks?”
“If I felt that spark. And had that ah-ha moment, why not?”
I knew what spark she was talking about. I had felt it that day I had helped him rebuild the shed and then every day since then when I was in his presence. And it was then that I realized I had screwed up big time. I hadn’t called him or emailed him. I hadn’t
made any attempt to contact him.
“I sort of brushed him off when I left. He actually asked to come with me. You know as emotional support, and I sort of told him that I didn’t need him.”
Sarah’s mouth fell open. “You didn’t actually use those exact words, did you?”
I shook my head. “No. But my actions pretty much said that.”
Libby shrugged. “If he’s really into you, he was probably just hurt, but is still hoping you’ll call or something.”
I bit my lip and felt my eye start to twitch. “Oh gosh.” I sighed.
Sarah placed her hand over mine. “Just call him. What harm could it do?”
“But he hasn’t called me since I got back.”
“Well you did tell him to get lost, soooo…” Libby said, and I felt instantly bad about that again.
“Call him up. Tell him you want to see him. Invite him for a visit,” Sarah urged.
“Do you think he’ll come?”
“If he offered once, I don’t see why not. He knows you were just upset about your father. I’m sure he didn’t take your brush off personally.”
“But Dad’s sick. Mom needs my help. Maybe now wouldn’t be the best time…”
“If you want to be in a relationship with this guy, it’s better trial by fire than all sunshine and roses. And plus, this time he’ll be on your territory. You’ll get a chance to see if he would actually fit in to your real life.” Libby had a point, I thought to myself.
So after they visited with Dad, I picked up the phone and left a voicemail on Gail’s phone. I didn’t know when he would receive it, so I also sent an email. And when I was done, I closed my laptop and hoped my friends were right about Ezra. Every cell of my body wanted them to be.
* * *
A few days later I had resigned myself to the fact that maybe he didn’t want to see me again, when the phone rang. I didn’t recognize the number, but I answered anyway.
“Marie?” said the voice on the other end, and a smile stretched across my face as I sat down on the sofa in my parent’s living room.
“Hi,” I said to Ezra. I didn't know what else to say. I was trying to play it cool when I really wanted to thrust my fists up in the air in victory and do a jig around the coffee table in excitement.
Instead, I said, “It took you long enough to call me back.”
“Well, between poor reception and Gail rarely charging her cellphone, it takes a while to get messages. So how’s everything going? How’s your father?”
“Good. He’s really good. Stubborn. But good.” I paused and made myself sit down, since I was pacing with nervous excitement suddenly. “How are you doing?”
“Alright. Getting your cottage set up for the next guest.”
“Already replaced me, huh?” I joked lightly.
“As if that could ever be possible.” That made me blush.
Feeling emboldened, I said, “So, about your offer to come with me…”
“Yeah?”
“Is it still on the table?”
“Hmm…I could see what I can do. Make some arrangements. I don't know. I’m pretty busy at the moment. I don’t really have time to run chasing behind some big-city girl.”
I smiled. “I’m not running.”
I could hear the smile in his voice when he said, “I’ll be there in the morning.”
We got off the phone soon after, and I gave a little squeak in excitement.
“Someone’s happy,” my father said, looking at me with questioning eyes. “What’s the occasion?”
I blushed and said, “Just a friend of mine is coming to visit.”
“Hmm…What kind of friend has you smiling from ear to ear and squealing like a teenage girl?”
“I’ll tell you about him later,” I said, feeling suddenly shy about discussing Ezra with my dad.
“Him?”
Determined to not get into a conversation about Ezra, I kissed Dad on his forehead, told him that I would stop by later, and left my parent’s home feeling as if my day, no, my life, had gotten immensely better.
* * *
Later on that evening, as I stood at the kitchen table, I heard a knock at my door. Figuring it was Libby or Sarah, I jumped up to answer it.
I opened the door and saw Ezra standing there. He looked more handsome than I remembered. He had on just plain jeans and a t-shirt with a pair of loafers and no socks. His jacket was swung haphazardly across his shoulder as he leaned on the threshold of my apartment door. I knew he was deliberately trying to look cool, but I was too excited to see him to tease him about it.
“What? Wwwwhat are you doing here?” I stuttered in shock. He looked like a male model, I couldn’t help thinking, especially since his thick locks were now cut shorter, emphasizing his strong jawline.
“I took the first plane in,” he said, standing up straight. “Are you going to invite me in?”
I nodded mutely and stood back, waiting for him to cross into my apartment.
He sauntered in and I closed the door firmly behind him, still in a state of shock. “Nice place.”
“Thanks,” I said, feeling suddenly shy.
He looked around my small condo and then looked down at me and said gruffly, “Come here. Let me give you a proper greeting.”
And like a puppet on a string, I walked over to Ezra, who took his time wrapping me in his arms.
“I missed you,” he said, as he lowered his face towards mine.
“I missed you more,” I managed to breathe out before his lips closed over mine.
Chapter Nine
I smiled at Ezra as he attempted to pose next to a weird art installation on a random college campus. We had driven over from Western Massachusetts to check out Boston. He had never been, and I had wanted to show him around Beantown. I was having a great time with Ezra, and it was nice to know that our fondness for each other wasn’t restricted to a certain time or place. I was just as enamored by him in Massachusetts as I had been in Texas.
We left the art installation holding hands, walking down the street, not talking, just enjoying our mini-excursion. We were so deep in thought that we were both startled when someone called out to us.
“Ezra? Ezra Corrigan?” a voice said behind us. I turned around at the same time as Ezra and saw an emaciated man standing to the right of us. He had the hardened look of someone who had fallen on rough times, and I could tell from his bloodshot eyes and dirty clothing that he probably didn’t have a decent place to sleep.
“Scott?” Ezra said, surprised. The man smiled at him and Ezra embraced him, clearly not caring about the other man’s unkempt appearance or the strong smell of liquor that seemed to permeate from every one of his pores. It was only ten o’clock in the morning, but I could tell this friend of Ezra’s had been heavily drinking.
Once they parted, Scott gave Ezra’s clothes a cursory glance before looking back up at him. “I heard you’d done well for yourself,” Scott said, a hint of shame in his eyes at his own appearance.
“I made some strides,” Ezra said, and I immediately wondered how he knew Scott and what exactly Ezra meant by his cryptic comment. “You?”
Scott held up his hands and shrugged. “Every day’s still a struggle.”
Ezra nodded silently and then said, “No judgment here. I understand.”
“Yeah, you of all people would know what rock bottom feels like.” Scott gave a self-deprecating laugh and pushed a hand through his rough hair before bringing it down to his unshaven face.
His eyes seemed sad as he tried to make conversation. “Where are you living now? What are you doing? Is this your wife?”
My eyes widened and Ezra laughed. “No, this is my girlfriend, Marie. She lives a few hours away from here. We’re just up here visiting. I live in Texas now.”
Scott’s eyes grew wide. “You live in the South? Well go figure.”
I looked at Ezra sharply. So he wasn’t originally from Texas? How much more didn’t I know about him?
While I was deep in thought, Ezra pulled a receipt out of his pocket, scribbled something on the back, handed it to Scott and told him to call him. He also handed Scott a wad of cash, although subtly. Scott’s eyes grew big and he attempted to give it back to Ezra, but Ezra shook his head and said barely above a whisper, “You’re having a rough time, man. Go ahead and take it.”
Scott’s face grew hard. “I’m nobody’s charity case, Ezra.”
“Nope. But if the situation was reversed you would do the same for me. I would be lying somewhere in a gutter if it weren’t for you, Scott. We both know that. Take the money, and when you get clean again, call me. If you want work, I can arrange something.”
Scott didn’t say anything, he just stuck the paper in his pocket and nodded. He gave Ezra a parting look and walked away. Ezra didn’t move. He just stood there and watched the man’s retreat.
I interrupted his thoughts, saying, “Is everything okay?”
“What?” he said distractedly, still staring in Scott’s direction.
“Ezra?” I said reaching for his hand. At my touch, he turned his attention back to me.
“Sorry. Everything’s fine. Scott was…is…a friend of mine.”
“I guess he fell on some hard times?”
“Certainly seems like it,” Ezra said, tucking my arm in the bend of his elbow. “I hope he calls me,” he said out loud, more to himself than to me.
“Anyway, weren’t you about to show me where the smartest people in the world go to school?” He was referring to Harvard or maybe MIT, I wasn’t too sure.
“That’s in Cambridge…”
“Well, lead the way, little lady,” he said with false cheerfulness. I could tell that running into Scott had changed his mood. He seemed more contemplative suddenly, and there were a lot of unspoken questions between us that he seemed to want to distract me from asking.
I had originally thought that Ezra was hiding the fact that he came from money. Now it seemed he was hiding much more than that. Distractedly, we continued sightseeing, both of us pretending we were present when our minds were elsewhere. I didn’t know what was bothering Ezra, but I knew what was bothering me.
