George looked at Jimmy. “Do you want to wait?” he asked.
“No,” Jimmy said. “Let’s go.”
George and Jimmy approached the coffin. At first, Jimmy thought someone had made a mistake. It wasn’t his grandmother. But he looked closer and realized it was. She looked as though somebody had done a bad job of making a wax mannequin of her. Her hair was all wrong. Her eyes looked painted closed. Her lips were stretched too tight.
“It doesn’t look like her,” Jimmy whispered to his dad.
George put his hand on Jimmy’s shoulder. “In a way, it’s not really her,” he said. “This is just an empty shell where she used to be.”
Jimmy carefully studied the face in the coffin. An empty shell where she used to be. Her hands were folded across her waist. Jimmy reached up and touched them. Waxy and cold. All life had gone to another place— that place where God lives. And for a moment, Jimmy imagined her rushing into the arms of his grandfather, shaking hands with all those friends who’d left her, and turning to see the One she longed to see face-to-face.
Jimmy patted her hand and asked Jesus to say hello to her for him.
The funeral service on Saturday was a strange mixture of joy and tears. It was as if they couldn’t make up their minds how they felt, Jimmy thought later. One minute a pastor was talking about the joy of going home. The next minute, family and friends wept as they said how much they’d miss Grandma and her wonderful sense of humor, her faith, her love, or her homemade cookies.
George got up and captured what Jimmy felt most when he said, “Our loss is heaven’s gain. For those of us who know Jesus, we can be assured that this isn’t good-bye, but simply ‘Until we meet again.’ ”
Jimmy cried when he heard that and felt a flood of grief rise up within and pour out of his eyes. Grandma was gone. Gone for good. He couldn’t stop crying until they drove to the grave site and threw flowers onto the coffin as it was lowered into the ground.
After that, Jimmy brooded that it still wasn’t fair. Now that he was a Christian, it would’ve made a lot more sense for God to let his grandmother live so she could help him. He still didn’t know what to do about Tony. He didn’t know about a lot of things. His mood sank into self-pity. He’d only been a Christian for a week, and he had probably lost his best friend and definitely his grandmother. What else could go wrong?
He fought with Donna in the car on the way home. She was listening to music with her old headphones. Jimmy thought the tinny guitars and drums that leaked from her ears would drive him nuts. He jerked at the headphones and told Donna to turn down the volume. She told him to lay off and pushed him away. He pushed her back. They yelled at each other.
Dad pulled the car over to the side of the road. “Stop it!” he shouted at them. “This is tough enough without you two acting like babies!”
The harshness of his voice brought wide-eyed silence from Jimmy, Donna, and even Mary.
Dad turned away from them, lowered his head onto the steering wheel, and let the tears flow. Mary moved close to him, put her arm around his back, leaned her head against his shoulder, and cried with him. It struck Jimmy that he hadn’t seen his dad cry at the hospital, the funeral home, or even Grandma’s house.
“I’m sorry,” George said. And he kept crying.
Donna glared at Jimmy and whispered, “See what you’ve done!”
Jimmy felt awful for being so selfish. What else could go wrong? he asked himself again. Nothing, he answered. This is as bad as it gets.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Sunday
JIMMY’S MOM TIGHTENED the belt of her dress. “I don’t know if I can handle everybody saying how sorry they are,” she said. “I’ll cry. I just know it.”
The family was back in Odyssey. They were getting ready for church.
“Just take some extra tissues,” George advised and kissed his wife on the cheek.
“My purse is stuffed to the top,” she replied.
Jimmy drained the last of the milk from his cereal bowl. He was eager to get to church so he could talk to Dave or Jacob. He felt confused about a lot of things—his grandma’s death, how to decide about his friendship with Tony, why so many things went wrong after he became a Christian—and he knew they’d tell him what to do.
“Donna, let’s go!” George called out.
The Barclay family got into the car and drove to church for what should have been a normal service. It wasn’t.
Jimmy looked for some sign of Dave or Jacob in the Sunday school assembly. He couldn’t find either of them. He sat down in the auditorium and waited for Dave to take the podium as he usually did. Instead, Mr. Lucas led the morning devotional and prayer.
Jimmy went to class distracted and annoyed. He bumped into Lucy and asked if she had seen Dave or Jacob. She hadn’t but said that rumors were flying all over the place about where they were.
“Where are they?” Jimmy asked.
“Kidnapped by aliens if you want to believe Jack Davis,” she said and walked off.
Jimmy’s mood worsened. Maybe they took the day off. But that didn’t make sense. Dave was an assistant pastor; he couldn’t be allowed to take Sundays off!
In between Sunday school and church, Jimmy saw his dad. “I can’t find Dave or Jacob!” Jimmy said.
“Really?” George said. “Maybe they’re gone for the weekend.”
“But they can’t be gone! I wanna talk to them!”
George laughed. “I’m sure they would’ve canceled their plans if they’d known.”
“Find out, will you, Dad? Please?”
“Okay, there’s Tom Riley. He should know; he’s a deacon. I’ll see you in church in a minute.” George strode off.
How could they leave me like this? Jimmy fumed. They knew my grandmother was sick. How could they take a vacation when my grandmother died?
Jimmy walked into the sanctuary and dropped himself onto the pew next to his mom.
“Well, hello, Mr. Happy,” she said.
Jimmy grunted.
George arrived just as the organist started the first hymn. Jimmy looked at him expectantly. George’s brow was furrowed into several worried lines.
“Dad?” Jimmy whispered.
“I’ll tell you after church,” George said.
“Now, Dad. Please. Are they on vacation?”
“No,” George said. “They’re gone.”
“What!” Jimmy said so loudly that people around them turned to look.
George gently took Jimmy’s arm and led him into the hall. “Look, son,” he said when they were away from the sanctuary, “I need you to be calm, okay? Pray that God will help you be calm.”
Jimmy was worried. “Be calm? But what did you mean—”
“They’re gone, Jimmy. Dave and Jacob left the church.”
Jimmy’s mouth fell open.
George continued, “Do you remember Jan? Dave’s wife?”
“Yeah.”
“She wasn’t happy. Do you understand? She didn’t like being a minister’s wife. So she left them right after we went to see Grandma. Rather than put the church through a difficult time, Dave and Jacob went back to Dave’s family in California.” George kept his grip on Jimmy’s arm, as if he thought Jimmy might pass out.
“All the way to California?” Jimmy asked weakly.
“Yes.”
“But…they didn’t say good-bye. I didn’t get to say anything to them.”
“I know.” George knelt down next to his son. “They wanted it to happen fast and quietly to stop any gossip. Now do you see why I wanted you to pray?”
Jimmy understood. And he did pray. He asked God, “Why are You doing this to me?”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Sunday Afternoon
“I KNOW HOW TOUGH this week has been for you,” Jimmy’s dad said to him after their Sunday dinner, as Jimmy lay on his bed. “You’ve been through a lot.”
Jimmy didn’t say anything. He had hardly said a word since he found out about Dave an
d Jacob. All he wanted to do was mope.
George rested his hand on Jimmy’s arm. “We’ve had our share of losses. But…that’s part of life. We gain family and friends, and we lose them.”
Not all in one week, Jimmy thought.
“Your mom and I talked about it, and we’re going to give you a break this afternoon,” Dad said. “Consider it a short reprieve from your restriction—an escape. Go take a walk or something. Try to…I don’t know…use the time to pray. Maybe that’ll help.” He stood up and headed for the door.
“Thanks, Dad,” Jimmy said and rolled off his bed. A walk might be good, he thought. A chance to get out of the house. He tugged on his shoes and grabbed his jacket. But where would he walk? Would he go to Tony’s house?
No. He wasn’t ready for Tony.
So he was allowed to leave the house, but he didn’t have anywhere to go. He felt even more depressed as he walked out the front door into the cloudy October afternoon.
He thought about the past week as he walked: all the trouble he’d been in with his family and his best friend. Then he lost his grandmother and two people he had hoped would be his friends.
He felt completely alone.
Is this what saying yes to Jesus means—walking alone on a Sunday afternoon, with no one to talk to and nowhere to go? he wondered.
He thought about Tony again. He hadn’t lost Tony. Not yet. But could he stay friends with Tony and still be a Christian? Or maybe the real question was this: Did he really want to be a Christian if he couldn’t stay friends with Tony?
It’d be easy enough to forget it, right? Just tell everybody it was a dumb idea—being a Christian caused too many problems—and give it up. Yeah, his family would be disappointed, but they’d get over it. Things could go back to the way they were.
Jimmy looked around and realized he was walking in McAlister Park. He felt a twinge of guilt as he remembered the incident at the gazebo. He hadn’t talked to Tony since it happened. He wondered what Tony was thinking. Did word get around the school about Jimmy’s grandmother? Did Tony know?
Again, Jimmy felt alone. And restless. He wanted to do something. He wanted to be normal again and run around with his friends and quit having so many things go wrong. Could he quit being a Christian now? Would God let him change his mind?
“Hey, Jimmy.”
Jimmy nearly jumped out of his skin. Tony stood directly in front of him.
“What’re you doing here?” Jimmy asked.
“I was gonna ask you the same question,” Tony said. “I stopped by your house, and your dad said you took a walk. I thought you were on restriction.”
“They let me off today.”
“Why didn’t you come over?”
“I was going to, but…” Jimmy sighed and started to walk again. “I’m confused.”
Tony stayed at his side and took the lead in setting their direction. “Really?” he asked. “About what?”
“Everything,” Jimmy said. “You don’t know what it’s like. It’s a big mess. My grandma died, and Dave and Jacob left, and I keep getting in trouble, and…I didn’t know it would be like this.”
“Be like what? What’re you talking about?”
“You know,” Jimmy said, “being a Christian.”
“I could’ve told you that was a dumb idea,” Tony said.
“I don’t know if it’s a mistake. I mean…” Jimmy faltered. “Oh, I don’t know what I mean.”
“You’re saying it’s not all it’s cracked up to be, right?”
Jimmy thought about it for a moment, then said, “Right.”
“So why don’t you give it up?” Tony asked. “You joined the club, and now you wanna unjoin it. It’s not against the law.”
“I know, but—”
“Looks to me like it’s nothing but trouble. You never punched me in the nose before,” Tony said with a laugh.
Jimmy smiled and answered, “Huh-uh. And…you know, I’m…you know.”
“Forget about it.”
Jimmy looked at Tony and couldn’t imagine why he thought he could give him up as a friend. “Tony, I—” He stopped himself when he noticed where they had walked to: the gazebo.
“What’re we doing here?” Jimmy asked.
“Just walking,” Tony said. “So, what are you going to do? Are you gonna keep doing this Sunday school stuff, or are you gonna get things back to the way they used to be?”
“I don’t know, Tony,” Jimmy said.
“I think you have to make up your mind. A lot of the kids at school are talking about you. They think you’re weird. Some of the guys are saying you’re a tattletale.”
“Huh?”
“I don’t believe it, but they’re saying you told what happened with the firecrackers. Did you tell anybody?”
“No!” Jimmy said, then remembered he had confessed everything to Dave and Jacob and then his parents.
“Oh…”
“You did, didn’t you?”
“Only Dave—and then my parents,” Jimmy said.
“You got us in trouble,” Tony said, his voice stiffening.
“How? We’ve been gone! My dad didn’t say anything to anybody.”
Tony poked Jimmy in the chest with his finger. “Yeah,” he accused, “but it turns out your friend Dave played racquetball with one of the guys from my dad’s office, and he told him all about the firecrackers. My dad found out, and he was furious. So we all got in trouble—and there’ll be more trouble later.”
Out of the corner of his eye, Jimmy saw Gary walk around from behind the gazebo. Then Tim came around the other side. Cory stepped out from behind a tree and headed toward them. Jimmy didn’t know for certain what they planned to do, but he figured it wouldn’t be very nice.
“Look, Jimmy,” Tony said, “as long as you wanna keep playing the religious nut and getting us in trouble, we don’t wanna be your friends anymore. Okay?”
At that moment, Jimmy knew that if he promised Tony and the guys that he would quit being a Christian, they might leave him alone. Maybe they could be friends again and do things the way they did before. At that moment, it was possible. At that moment, it was a serious consideration. But at that moment, Jimmy couldn’t make such a promise and decided on another course of action….
Run!
He pushed Tony and took off as fast as he could. He made it as far as the path into the woods before one of the kids tackled him. Then they were all on him with wild, flying fists that didn’t hit hard but connected with enough places on his face and body to hurt. Jimmy swung back just as wildly, but it didn’t help.
Someone slugged him in the stomach. It knocked the wind out of him. He gasped as the fists kept coming.
He barely heard the deep and powerful voice that commanded the kids to stop. The fists—and the boys connected to them—withdrew, scattered, and ran off in several directions through the woods.
Strong hands lifted Jimmy to a sitting position. “Take it easy, Jimmy. Breathe slowly. Slowly.”
Jimmy tried to take in some air. A handkerchief was pressed against his nose and his lip. “You’re bleeding a little. Can you stand up?” the deep voice asked.
“I think so,” Jimmy croaked.
“Good. My shop is right over here. Come on.”
Jimmy looked up into the face of his rescuer. It was John Avery Whittaker.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Sunday Evening
JOHN AVERY WHITTAKER—or Whit, as a lot of people called him— owned a soda shop and discovery emporium on the edge of McAlister Park. He called it Whit’s End. It was a popular gathering place for kids and adults, with room after room of exhibits, interactive displays, a library, and a theater. Whit was dedicated to anything that would help bring the Bible to life for kids. Jimmy went there on occasion with his parents. He didn’t go more often because Tony didn’t like it.
“I don’t open on Sundays,” Whit explained as he unlocked the front door. “But we should get some ice on that nose of yours.”<
br />
He led Jimmy past the soda counter, into the kitchen, and over to a chair next to a small table. He disappeared into a walk-in freezer and returned a few seconds later with a clump of ice. He methodically broke it up with an ice pick, wrapped it in a cloth, and gently placed it so that it covered the side of Jimmy’s nose and upper lip.
“Ow!” Jimmy said. His nose and lip throbbed.
“Just tilt your head back and hold it there while I call your parents,” Whit said. “What’s your number?”
Jimmy told him. Whit went to the phone and had a brief conversation with George. He hung up, then turned back to Jimmy. “Your dad’s on his way,” he said. He grabbed a chair and pulled it up close. “Do you want to tell me what that was all about? I assume you weren’t being robbed.”
“No,” Jimmy replied. “Do I have to say who did it?”
“Not if you don’t want to,” Whit said.
Jimmy thought for a moment, then said, “I don’t know where to start.”
“Why did they beat you up?”
“Because I became a Christian.”
Whit cocked an eyebrow quizzically. “I heard about that. But I didn’t think kids got beat up for it around Odyssey.”
“They do.” Jimmy sighed. “Mr. Whittaker, I became a Christian, and it’s ruined everything. I’m driving my family crazy, I lost my best friend, my grandmother died, and Dave and Jacob left.”
Whit nodded slowly as if he understood completely. “I knew about Dave and Jacob. But I didn’t know you were so close to them.”
“Dave was the one who talked me into becoming a Christian, and Jacob helped me this week,” Jimmy explained, then sighed again. “It’s all gone wrong.”
“So being a Christian isn’t what you thought it would be?” Whit asked, echoing the question Jimmy was asked earlier.
“I guess not. I thought things would get better, and they didn’t.”
Whit took the ice pack, adjusted it a little, and put it back against Jimmy’s face. “How did you think things would get better?”
“I thought that Jesus was going to change me—take everything, make it better, then give it back nice and new.”
Point of No Return Page 8
