“Pretty much.”
“At least you didn’t eat the muffin.” She flicked the brim of his hat. “That’s saying a lot.”
“Thanks.”
“Thanks for the curbside service.” She put her hood up, took a deep breath, and jumped out. “We’ll get a table,” she yelled as she slammed the door. Clutching her jacket tight around her, she ran through the blinding rain into the building.
Once inside, she slipped the dripping jacket off and hung it on a hook next to Elyse’s umbrella. Dry never felt so good.
She hurried down the aisle that led to the coffee shop. The little eatery was the hub of a big wheel, with aisles of books shooting out all around it like broad spokes. Crystal sighed. The perfect place to spend a rainy afternoon.
She’d barely settled at Elyse’s table when Luke joined them.
“How’d you stay so dry?” Crystal asked, trying to imagine his carrying an umbrella.
“I keep a trench coat behind the seat.”
“I’d like to have a picture of that,” Elyse joked.
Crystal nodded. “Luke McCord, undercover spy.”
“Or hard-boiled detective,” Elyse added.
“Speaking of hard-boiled...” Luke picked up a menu and flipped through it. “Wonder what they have to eat in this place.”
Crystal rattled his menu. “Hey you. We’re teasing you. You can’t ignore us. Why aren’t you making witty comebacks?”
He looked up at her. “Maybe because I’m weak from hunger and rebutting your silly jokes would burn up more calories than I can afford to lose.”
Were those worry lines around his eyes?
“I’m glad you’re taking a day off,” Elyse said softly. Crystal guessed that she could see the strain on their brother’s face as well.
“Hmph.” He twisted his mouth. “I’m not ‘taking’ a day off. I have no choice.”
Crystal nodded. “I guess you can’t do much carpentry work in the rain.”
He looked at her like she’d grown an extra head. “There’s plenty of inside work to be done. But until they get the driveway poured, there’s no way into the site when it’s coming down like this.”
“Are you very far behind schedule?”
He shrugged. “Define very. I’m not ready to ask Rachel to move the grand opening date. But if the weather doesn’t cooperate between now and then...”
“It will.” Elyse touched her brother’s sleeve. “Don’t worry.”
“I’m not worried,” he growled. “I’m starving.” He cut his gaze toward Crystal. “Some of us didn’t get muffin and coffee care packages from a secret admirer.”
Crystal gasped. “Lucas Michael McCord, you take that back.” She stopped and met Elyse’s startled brown eyes. Then they both burst out laughing.
“You sound like a ten-year-old,” Elyse said.
Luke nodded smugly, but not before she saw his dimples flash. “Why do you think I call her kid?”
“Um, are y’all ready to order drinks?” The waitress smiled at them, keeping her gaze mostly on Luke.
He and Elyse both ordered Dr Pepper.
“Sweet tea,” Crystal said quickly. That was one thing she’d missed terribly. Sweet tea in the North just wasn’t the same.
“After we eat, I have to run down to the building supply and pick up a few things,” Luke said when the waitress was gone. “Hope that’s okay.”
Crystal looked around at the books in every direction. “I think I’ll stay and read while you’re gone.”
Elyse followed her glance. “Me, too. I never have enough time in here. And I don’t have any sessions scheduled today.”
“Dogs just woke up this morning and decided to behave?” Luke teased.
Elyse put her hand to her mouth in mock surprise. “Why didn’t I think of that? National Good Behavior Day for dogs. And here I thought everyone rescheduled because of the rain.”
Crystal sat back and sighed.
Luke whipped his head around to look at her. “What?”
She smiled. “It’s just good to be home. I’ve missed being with y’all so much.”
He hmphed. “Couldn’t prove—Ow.” He glared at Elyse. “Missed you, too,” he said gruffly.
“I’m sorry I stayed away so long,” Crystal said. “And I’m sorry Elyse kicked your shin.”
“Ankle,” he muttered.
Crystal laughed. “Either way, I’m sorry. I’ll be home more often from now on.” One thing had become apparent over the last few days. She hadn’t avoided the pain and grief when she left. She’d just carried it with her.
When they’d finished the last bite of their panini and paid the waitress, Luke pushed back his chair. “I’ll be back in about an hour.”
“We’ll be here,” Elyse said. She looked at Crystal. “If you need me, I’ll be in the dog section.”
Left to her own devices, Crystal wandered through the aisles. She picked up several books, but none really appealed to her. Then suddenly she saw them. On the clearance rack. Three different books about drama for children.
She thought about what Allie Montgomery had said about a local drama day camp. Working at the kids’ theater in New York had been so much fun. And this would be a much more short-term commitment. Crystal might not be able to do it this summer, but some other time, between plays, when she wanted to make an extended visit to the ranch, teaching a camp would be the perfect excuse.
She grabbed all three and made her way to a comfy-looking plush couch she’d passed a few minutes before and sank down on it with her books. Within minutes, she was lost in the world of introducing children to drama through workshops, summer camps, and community performances.
She was skimming the third book when she heard someone say, “Crys?”
She glanced up at a woman with short dark hair and dancing brown eyes. She was average sized, maybe a little bigger, but neat and pretty.
“Crystal McCord?” The woman said, her voice not quite so confident.
Crystal stared at her. Those eyes ... “Phoebe?”
“Yes. Oh, it’s so good to see you.”
Crystal stood and numbly allowed the woman to enfold her into a hug. “You, too.”
Even as she said the words, she realized they were a lie. It wasn’t good. She felt caught off guard, blindsided. Why hadn’t she considered the possibility of running into high school friends? Shady Grove was a small town.
“So you’re an actress in New York, huh?”
Crystal nodded again, wanting to ask about Phoebe’s life, but her tongue was stuck to the roof of her mouth.
“I married Derek Mullins about a year after...” Pain flashed across her face, looking out of place on her pleasant features. “Graduation.”
Crystal nodded inanely, wondering if she looked like a little bobble-head figure on a car dash. They both knew what Phoebe didn’t say. A year after the accident.
“Are you ... Do you...?” Crystal motioned toward Phoebe’s leg.
“I get along fine. You probably heard I had several surgeries on it. Now I set off the metal detectors at the airport. But I can walk. And I’m thankful for that.”
And you’re alive, Crystal thought.
As if reading her thoughts, Phoebe said, “It took me a long time to get over the fact that I lived.” She wrinkled her nose. “My therapist said it was classic survivor’s guilt.”
Crystal stared down at the brightly colored books splashed across the tan couch.
“Can we sit for a few minutes?” Phoebe motioned toward the sofa.
“I ... Okay.” Crystal sat stiffly, perched on the edge of the couch.
Phoebe settled in as Crystal had done earlier and picked up one of the books. She started idly bouncing it on her knee. Crystal remembered the habit like it was yesterday. Phoebe may not seem like it, but she was nervous. The thought calmed Crystal a little. Some things weren’t easy for anyone to talk about. It wasn’t just her.
“Over the last seven years, especially for the first
year or two, I couldn’t quit wondering why. Why hadn’t I argued when Cami called shotgun? Why hadn’t I just had a party at my house like Mama wanted me to? Why hadn’t I called you when you didn’t show up and insist you go? Maybe if we’d gone right back and picked you up, those drunk kids would have been in the next county by the time we got to that spot in the road.”
Tears sparkled in Phoebe’s brown eyes now. And even though every word felt to Crystal like the stab of a knife, she was just getting started.
“You know, I always envied you and Cami for the closeness you had. Yet every time people would say, ‘There go the Three Musketeers,’ instead of, ‘There go the McCord twins,’ I felt incredibly blessed.”
Crystal sat, stone still, her eyes dry.
Phoebe bent the book in her hand back and forth and bounced it on her knee again. “Most people don’t have one friend like that in a lifetime, but I had two. Then I lost them both the same night.” She sighed and held the book still. “I’ve wanted to call you so many times, Crystal. But when I got out of the hospital, you were gone. I kept thinking that after you got past the worst of the grief, you’d call.”
But I never did, Crystal thought, for the first time feeling guilty that she hadn’t. “I’m sorry.”
Phoebe shook her head impatiently, her dark Dorothy Hamill haircut bouncing. “I don’t want you to be sorry. I’ve just missed you.”
Crystal felt like an elephant was sitting on her chest. Being friends with Phoebe again would be worse than going into the room that she and Cami had shared the first eighteen years of their lives. “Maybe we can stay in touch,” Crystal said and stood.
“Wait.” Phoebe motioned her to sit again, and even though Crystal wanted to bolt she sat. “I need to tell you something.” She plucked at the smooth fabric of the couch. “It’s about my last conversation with Cami.”
CHAPTER 12
“No.” Crystal could hardly believe she’d said it, but she lifted her chin, tears filling her own eyes for the first time since this awful conversation had begun. “No,” she repeated. “That’s really not necessary.”
Phoebe reached over and touched her arm. “Please.”
It wasn’t her plea, but Phoebe’s ice-cold hand that broke through Crystal’s determination not to hear. Cami and Crystal used to tease Phoebe mercilessly about how her hands got cold when she was nervous or scared.
Crystal sighed and sat back. Apparently that was all the encouragement Phoebe needed.
“She told me about the argument you two had—that you wanted to wait a while before going to New York.”
Crystal wrapped her arms around her ribs. “That was really just cowardice on my part. She knew that.” She instinctively defended her twin.
“I asked her why she’d gotten so upset at you about it. She just twirled her hair around her finger, in that way she had, and said, in her most philosophical voice, ‘Phoebs, Crys will live her dream wherever she is, but I’ll never make it all the way to Broadway without her there to push me.’”
Hot tears splashed down Crystal’s face and a sob caught in her throat. Her dream? No childish dream she’d ever had had compared with Cami’s dream—for both of them—of Broadway. Which was what made the whole thing so crazy. Unlike Phoebe, who wondered what would have happened “if” this or that, Crystal knew. If she hadn’t tried to back out of going with Cami to New York after graduation, they’d have gone out together graduation night, and the accident would have never happened. And they’d both be almost to Broadway now. Instead of Crystal doing it on her own.
“Not thirty seconds before that car hit us, Cami said she was going to call and see if you’d reconsider going with us.” Phoebe rummaged in her big bag and pulled out a small pack of tissues. Her hands shook as she handed Crystal one and took one for herself. “She never got a chance to make that call, but I always thought you should know that she intended to.”
“Thank you,” Crystal choked out.
Phoebe stood. “I’m going to go. I know I forced myself on you.” She fished in the bag again, brought out a receipt, and scrawled a number on the back of it. She dropped it on the couch. “Give me a call if you ever want to talk again.”
And with that she was gone, leaving Crystal in the middle of a public place, tears pouring down her face, her mind reeling. She found the bathroom without running into anyone and splashed cold water on her face until the tears stopped. She stared in the mirror. Her eyes, the supposed windows of her soul, looked wild. And rightly so, she thought, as her stomach churned. She wanted to be home, maybe on the porch, wrapped in a blanket, so she could sift through the things Phoebe had told her.
She bumped into Elyse right outside the bathroom. Her sister had the three books from the couch in her hand. “Look what I found on the sofa—” She grabbed Crystal’s arm. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?”
Crystal shook her head. “Nothing.” Nothing new. “We’ll talk later.”
“You saw Phoebe, didn’t you?”
Crystal nodded.
“Okay, we’ll talk later.” Elyse held up the books, plus two of her own. “Luke called, he’s waiting outside. Want me to get these three with mine and we’ll settle up at home?”
“Please.”
“You want to go on out to the truck?”
Crystal shrugged. “I’ll just wait for you.”
At the truck, she stepped back and let Elyse get in the middle. She recognized the defense mechanism for what it was. This way she’d have a buffer between her and Luke, be dropped off at the house first, and disguise the fact that something was wrong.
She sighed. Sadly, she’d become a master of disguise over the last seven years.
***
Jeremy looked over at Crystal. Day before yesterday, they’d been fixing fence yet had managed to keep up a continuous conversation. But today, as they’d traveled on horseback taking inventory of the cattle, she’d been so quiet. Had the muffin and cappuccino been over the top? She’d thanked him but said little else all morning.
He reined Nacho in beside a wet-weather creek. “Feel like taking a break?”
“Sure.” She brought her mare to a complete stop and slid gracefully to the ground.
He dismounted. “Have I offended you in some way?”
She looked up quickly from where she was tying the horse to a small tree. “No. Why?”
“You’re quiet today.” He lifted the lid of the small cooler in his own saddlebag, brought out two bottles of water, and handed her one.
“Thanks.” She sank onto the gravel bank and opened the lid.
He sat down beside her.
They stared in silence at the water. “This reminds me of the day you came to Shady Grove a couple weeks ago,” he said softly.
She nodded. “Me, too.”
“Did you find what you were looking for here?”
She opened and closed her mouth as if she wanted to say something but decided against it. “Sometimes I think I found more than I was looking for.”
The Reluctant Cowgirl Page 11
