When it hit my body took over, leaving my consciousness to fend for itself. I thrashed, I bucked, I screamed, I may have even bit him. I didn’t care. I was in free fall, loving every sensation that coursed through my body. I couldn’t stop the endless waves of pleasure, and I didn’t want to.
Brady’s hand slowed, pulling me from the euphoria I had settled into. His lips danced over my skin, heating me as his fingers cooled me. I knew I couldn’t handle more, but I was already aching for it. I reached for him, dragging his head toward mine so I could kiss him.
His tongue thrust deep into my mouth without hesitation. I felt his passion and control, tightly wound together as though they were one in the same. He wanted me to know how he felt, but only under his conditions. He had to be in control.
And God help me I still wanted to snap it.
Brady slowly pulled back, kissing me gently as he eased away from me. He brushed hair from my cheek and I looked up at him with slightly blurred vision. I wanted my glasses so I could see his expression clearly, but I didn’t want to break the moment by reaching for them.
“That was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. You are insanely sexy. I hope you know that.”
I tried to smile, but it fell flat. His words warmed me, but I struggled to accept them. I knew it was easy to be sexy when you were having an orgasm. It turned men on to see what they could do to a woman. It was everything else that I struggled with. Was I sexy outside the bedroom? Was it enough for him to want to have sex? Did he see me as more than a pair of boobs and a place to stick his cock?
Brady cupped my chin and gently drew my face back to his. “I’m not kidding, Sam. I want you so bad right now that it’s killing me that I’m not already inside you.”
“I wouldn’t be opposed to that,” I said softly, knowing what the answer would be before he even spoke.
“I can’t, Sam. I’m sorry.”
“I understand,” I lied.
Brady kissed me again, softly, like he cherished me. I struggled with what it meant. I knew how I felt about him. I trusted him. Completely. It scared the shit out of me. After everything with Cade I wasn’t sure I’d ever trust a man again, but I was lying in my bed, naked, after Brady gave me the most fabulous orgasm of my life.
I was falling for him.
But he didn’t feel the same.
“I should go,” he said against my lips. He was already pulling back. It tore at my heart, but I wasn’t going to hold on to a man who didn’t want me. I’d never been that woman, and I wasn’t going to start with Brady. If he didn’t want me, I’d let him go.
“Okay,” I said, climbing out of bed. I pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt so I could walk him to the door. When I turned to face him he already had his shirt on and he was watching me closely.
“I’m not rejecting you, Sam. I’m just not ready. This is all about me, not you.”
Seriously? He was giving me the worst break-up line ever?
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and forced a smile. “I know,” I lied. “I’ll walk you out.”
Brady reached for my hand. I slid mine into his, wondering if it would be the last time I was able to touch him. I hoped not but wasn’t sure of anything as we walked to my door.
I nearly laughed at how wrong Mandy and Claire had been earlier.
At the door Brady turned to me. He cupped my chin and leaned down to kiss me. It started out soft and sweet, but when I touched his lips with my tongue, he spun me, pressing my back to the door, and covered my body with his. He thrust his hips against me, heating my body all over again. His tongue searched my mouth, delving into every crevice he could find before caressing my tongue with his. His hips matched the rhythm set by his tongue, spiraling my body higher and higher until I was sure I could combust right there.
Then he pulled back.
“This is why I can’t sleep with you yet. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have attacked you like that.”
“Are you kidding me?” I asked, breathless and confused. “That’s passion. That’s sexy. That’s not a bad thing, Brady. If you didn’t make love to me the way you just kissed me I’d be pissed off.”
“Make love?” he asked, rolling the words around on his tongue. I froze. Shit, I never should have said those words. What the hell was wrong with me? “I like it. That’s exactly what I’m going to do one of these days, Sam. And when I do you’re going to let go of all those questions you have in your head about me, about us, and accept how you feel.”
I blushed. He knew me too well. Which was slightly terrifying.
“Okay,” I whispered.
He kissed me again, hard and fast, then he was gone.
And I was alone.
Twenty
Finding an apartment was not as easy as I expected. I was familiar with Tree Brach Apartments, where Claire lived before Aidan, but I wasn’t in love with them. Still, it fit my budget so it was a possibility. I checked out a few other apartments in town, but struggled to accept that I was basically moving backward. I’d been living in a house for years but going to an apartment felt like I’d failed. I was having a hard time with that.
I was also having a hard time with everything going on with Brady. He knew the right things to say, but it was hard to accept his words when his actions were telling me something different.
He still wanted to see me, so I decided that was a good thing, but he wouldn’t let me touch him. Tuesday, after a disappointing day on the apartment hunt, Brady came to girls’ night. We all rehashed Mandy and Xander’s wedding, talking about how perfect it was. Addi was up next so everyone jumped on her planning train, asking what they were going to do and if they’d set a date yet.
They hadn’t.
Brady claimed he had to be up early Wednesday morning so he didn’t come over after girls’ night, reminding me again that I didn’t know much about him. I knew he had scars, not just the physical ones, and I worried those scars would split us up in the end.
I pushed all thoughts of Brady away as I entered the tiny house I’d found available for rent at the edge of town. It was in a decent area, only about five minutes from my studio. It was tiny, but it would work for me being by myself. The realtor, Stephanie, who managed the rental showed me around.
“It’s small, but for one person it could be perfect. You said you’re alone, right?”
Her unintentional words stung, but it was the truth. “Yes, I’m alone. My old roommate is getting married and I just can’t keep up with our rent on my own.”
“Well, this place is in your budget. I think it could work for you,” Stephanie said. “Should we look around?”
I nodded and followed her through the space. “The kitchen is tiny, but all the appliances are updated and full size. There is a small pantry too, which is nice. You’re tall, so these high cabinets won’t be an issue for you.”
“True. I don’t think I have more than this anyway. Addi and I lived together for so long that we shared all our stuff. When she left I realized I was short some stuff, but with just me it isn’t a big deal.”
“Well, as long as everything else is that way, you’ll be fine here.”
Stephanie showed me the small dining area, which was the perfect size for a four person table. The living room would be big enough for my couch and maybe a chair, but not much else. The bedroom worked though. My bed would fit and I could put a desk along one wall so I could work from home occasionally. The bathroom was tiny, like the kitchen, but with it just being me, it worked.
“What do you think?”
“I think it’s perfect,” I told her honestly. “When is it available?”
“It’s available now, but we’ll need to run a background check and a credit check. Once we get everything back, we can get you the keys. When would you like to move in?”
“As soon as possible. I’m on a month-to-month lease right now. If you think I can be in here within a month I’ll give notice today.”
Stephanie smiled. “As long as
there isn’t anything in your background check or credit check, I don’t see why that would be a problem.”
I nodded. It felt good to have it settled. I knew the sooner I moved the better it would be. I could save the extra income I still had coming in from the last few weddings. It wouldn’t last long, but if I was smart I could make it work for me until things picked up on the other side of the business.
Stephanie and I walked out together and I agreed to stop by her office the next day to fill out all the paperwork I needed to complete. I wasn’t sure how long Brady’s meeting was going to last, but I wanted to tell someone about the new house I’d found so I headed over to READ.
“Hi Sam,” Riley said as I walked in. “What are you doing here?”
“I just found a new house.”
“Ooh, so exciting. Congratulations! Things much be going well then?”
I shrugged. “It’s going okay. I officially cut weddings from the services I offer, but I still have a few left that had already been booked. Of course I’ll do Addi’s wedding if she wants, and any other friends and family, but I won’t shoot weddings for my career anymore. I love working with families and even businesses and stuff like that. It’s less stress, but more rewarding for me.”
“What do you do for businesses?” Riley asked, crossing her arms over her chest. Riley was a bit bigger than the rest of us, but she was beautiful. She had a perfectly round face and rarely wore make-up. Her skin was soft and clear and I was totally jealous of her. She kept her hair pinned back most of the time, but the light brown color matched her eyes perfectly. She had a tattoo of a butterfly perched on an anchor on her left forearm and her lower lip was pierced.
She was totally unique right down to the tops she wore that she sewed herself.
“It depends what a business needs,” I answered her, imagining how I could bring Riley’s personality into the store a bit more. “Like with Beth, Carrie’s boss, she just wanted updated head shots. Some businesses want pictures for their websites or promotional products. Some need help designing or improving their websites. Some want brochures to hand out, like florists and people having special events.”
Riley nodded thoughtfully. “I think we could use some of that here. READ is a great business, but we need to improve the website and make it look a little more homey in here.”
I glanced around the space. It was fairly bland. Bookshelves covered all the walls and filled every available space in the middle, except the one little corner with a seating area.
“What’s your goal here? I know it’s a bookstore, but do you want customers to sit and read or come and work or just stop in and buy books?”
Riley glanced around as if she was seeing the space for the first time. “Maybe all of it. I’m just not sure where we’d put all that.”
We walked through the store. “I don’t know much about bookstores, but aren’t a lot of them going to online books now?”
Riley scrunched up her nose. “Yeah. I love the feel of a new book in my hands. I have one of those ereaders, but it’s not the same for me.”
“But that’s what people are using now. You should consider having an affiliate program with the big sellers. Let your customers browse your website for the books, maybe just an online account of what’s in the store, and then a link to order it electronically if they prefer that. Then you could accept online orders for people who need to pick something up but don’t want to be going through the whole store to find it.”
“That’s a really good idea,” Riley said, spinning around as she imagined… something. “We could have a kiosk here too, so if readers want to order something in the store they can. This could be a big income generator for us. Thanks, Sam. I do have one favor though.”
“What’s that?”
“Will you help me figure out how to set it up and take some new pictures of the place when we’re done. We’d pay you, of course.”
I nodded. “That sounds like fun. Maybe I can ask you a favor, too?”
“Anything,” Riley said quickly.
“Would you be willing to save me some boxes?”
Riley laughed. “Of course. How about lunch? There’s a great little sandwich place not far from here and they deliver.”
“Sounds perfect. We can talk through some design ideas while we eat.”
“Excellent.”
~*~
I saw Brady at the gym Friday and he asked me out for Saturday night. I didn’t have anything else going on so I agreed. I also really wanted to see him again. He kissed me before he went back to his office, leaving me feeling more confused than ever.
“He really likes you,” Jennie said. “I’ve never seen him kiss anyone, and he hadn’t left the office in days.”
I wanted to believe her, but I still had my doubts. “What sort of meeting is he in?”
Jennie shrugged. “I’m not sure. He doesn’t tell me much. It must be important though because it’s taken a while. What do you say we go out for a drink later? I’d love to get to know the woman who finally snagged Mr. Wright. So many have tried and failed.”
I felt like a goldfish and wasn’t sure I liked it. Going out for a drink with one of Brady’s employees seemed like a bad idea. “I can’t tonight. I’m sorry. I’ve got a meeting later. I’m helping redesign a business and we’re working late when the store is closed.”
It was the truth, but I still felt like I was lying because I really didn’t want to go out with Jennie. Sure, she seemed really nice, but I didn’t think it was a good idea to become friends with her.
Jennie shrugged. “Maybe another time. Greg was telling me he really liked talking to you. He wanted the four of us to get together, but Brady never socializes with anyone. Greg and I were going to go to the concert tomorrow night in Winterville Park, but we’re having dinner with his mother instead. She’s been begging him to bring me over. We get along really well.”
“I didn’t know you and Greg were dating,” I blurted, wondering why Brady hadn’t told me.
“Yeah, for a few months. He’s really sweet.”
I nodded. “He helped me out a little when I first got here. He was nice.”
“Yeah, he told me how Brady butted in so he could talk to you. Hey, you guys should go to the concert tomorrow night. It’s supposed to be a great show.”
Jennie blushed when I narrowed my eyes at her.
“Sorry. I heard Brady ask you out and neither of you had an idea where to go. Greg and I like to stay in some nights, but it’s nice to get out and do something different too. I just figured you guys might like the concert.”
I offered her a half smile and nodded. “Yeah, that’s not a bad idea. I used to go all the time but haven’t been yet this summer. I’ll suggest it. And we’ll get a drink sometime. Soon.”
“I’m gonna hold you to that,” Jennie said.
Twenty-One
The concert was amazing. I still couldn’t believe Brady had never been to the free concerts in the park. Little by little I was dragging him out of his shell. It was fun doing different things with him, even if I’d done them before. He seemed so sheltered.
“Do you want a drink?” he leaned in close and asked above the loud music. I nodded and he kissed my cheek before jumping up. From our blanket on the grass we had a great view of the stage, but I wasn’t watching the stage as Brady walked away, I could only watch him.
Just like all the other women near us.
He definitely captured the attention of women. I knew most of them were wondering what he was doing with me. Hell, I was too. I pushed thoughts of those other women out of my mind and let my attention drift back to the concert.
Brady had been attentive from the moment he’d picked me up. I wasn’t sure what had changed, but he was in a good mood. He said his meetings had gone well and he just wanted to enjoy time together. I was just happy to see him, but it helped that he’d barely kept his hands off me all night.
Someone laid out a blanket next to me and I turned to smile
at the newcomers but found myself unable to breathe.
“Cade?” I said breathlessly, quietly.
But he heard me.
“Sam,” he scoffed. “What are you doing here?”
I couldn’t breathe. His dark hair had the same recently fucked look it always had, and his dark eyes burned a whole through me, erasing my fear and replacing it with pure hatred of the man.
“It’s a free country, Cade. I’m here for the concert. Just like you are.” I looked past him to the tiny blonde settling onto the blanket, seemingly unaware of the tension between us. “She’s cute.”
Cade glanced behind himself to her and grinned. “Yeah. She a wildcat in bed, too. Almost as good as you.”
I shuddered. Thinking about me and Cade together made me want to go take a shower. The fact that I hadn’t slept with anyone since him made me both sad and pissed.
With every passing day I worried Brady was starting to see me the way Cade did. Was he no longer interested in me because of how I looked? I’d been losing weight, although not much. I had a long way to go before I was anywhere close to Cade’s new girlfriend. Brady owned a gym, and I was fooling myself thinking he wouldn’t feel the same as Cade.
“Have you lost weight?” Cade asked, eyeing my middle and letting his eyes run down my legs then back up to settle on my breasts.
“Not that it’s any of your business, but yes.”
“You look good. Not skinny enough yet for the lights to be on during sex, but good.”
Ugh. What did I ever see in him? He was such a conceited asshole. He was hitting on me with another woman just a few feet away.
And he wasn’t doing it very well.
“Yeah, well, I don’t think you’ll be getting another chance. No amount of darkness will hide that you’re a dick.”
He waggled his eyebrows at me. “You used to like my dick,” he said suggestively.
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