I smile and cross my ankle over my other knee. “A grand.”
He sits all the way up. “You bastard. You’re going to make that from talking to some old ladies for the night? You’ve always been a lucky son of a bitch.”
I almost choke trying to swallow the water in my mouth. “When have I ever been lucky?”
He pretends to throw his water bottle at me. “Are you kidding me? You’re the luckiest person I know. Have you forgotten about when we went to Vegas and you won $300.00 in the airport slot machine right off the plane?”
“Oh, yeah. I forgot about that.” I don’t think that should count since I lost it all and them some before the end of the day.
“What about the time you won free pizza for a year?”
“That was pretty cool.” I get up and toss my empty water bottle into the bin under the sink.
Steed puts Mr. T down and follows me into the kitchen and Mr. T follows him. “Oh, and let’s not forget about the time your car broke down in front of Selena Trevino’s house and your phone was dead, so you had to go inside to use their phone. Do you remember what happened? Is any of this ringing a bell?”
I roll my eyes. “I remember what happened.”
“You lost your freaking virginity to Selena’s mom, who is the hottest single mom to ever live.”
I punch his arm lightly. “I was there. I don’t need you to recap it for me. Plus, I was seventeen. Don’t make it sound creepy.”
He pushes my shoulder. “Creepy? Hell, no. That is some shit you brag about. She was hot as hell. I still jerk off to her.”
I punch him harder on the arm. “Don’t jerk off to people I’ve slept with! What is wrong with you?”
“Man, can you blame me? She had tits that would make you…”
“That’s it! I don’t want to hear your creepy fantasies about Ms. Trevino.” I point toward the door. “Go! I need to get ready anyway.” I walk behind him and pretend Mr. T is following me and not him.
He turns around right as he opens the door. “Don’t forget to shave your balls. I hear the old ladies love that.”
He ducks out before I can punch him again. “Asshole.”
Mr. T goes back to his hammock in the corner. I shower and shave. I almost look respectable. I heat up some leftover takeout because I have no idea if there’s going to be real food at this thing. Rich people always have that tiny food that looks like it’s just enough to make you angry. At least that’s what I’ve seen on TV. I don’t know any rich people in real life.
My doorbell rings at exactly 8:30 and I wonder how much this poor sap is getting paid to be my man servant. But, he probably has his job for more than one night, so I might need to ask him how I can get in on that.
I open my door to see my driver standing there in a freaking tux. At least I think it’s a tux. It’s a black suit and a black tie. That’s formal wear to me. I’m in a tank top and gym shorts. He looks like he’s ready for the Oscars just to drive a car.
“Good evening, Mr. Wright. I’m Javier and I’ll be your driver tonight.” He hands me a large box with a garment bag slung over the top. “My card is in the inside pocket of your jacket so you can call me when you’re done for the evening. I’ll be in the car when you’re ready.”
He sounds so formal. I feel out of my weight class here. “Um, thank you, Javier. I’ll be out in a few minutes.”
He nods. “Oh, and Ms. Blakely wanted me to remind you that you are only to bring the items provided to you.”
“Ms. Blakely?” Who the fuck is that?
“Ms. Stephanie Blakely, sir.”
I’m an idiot. I never knew her last name. “Right. Stephanie. Got it.”
Javier walks off without another word and I wonder if he’s also wondering what he got himself into. I walk inside and set the things on the bed. The garment bag is pretty straight forward. Black suit, red tie, white shirt. Opening the box, I find shiny black shoes, socks, and underwear. What the fuck, Stephanie? I can’t even wear my own drawers? Underneath all that is a slim business card holder. I open it and find white cards that are blank except for “Benjamin” and a number I don’t recognize. I’ll call that later to see what’s up.
There’s a cell phone next to the card holder. A note is stuck to the front. “This is only to be used to call Javier.” The fuck? I’m having second thoughts. But I need the money. I need it so much. And, to be honest, I’m hella scared of Stephanie. I’m afraid she’ll cut off my freshly shaven balls.
If I’m going to do this, I better just do it. I strip down and put on Stephanie’s underwear, which sounds all kinds of wrong. I put on the clothes and almost have to look up a YouTube video on how to tie a tie. It’s been a little while. I tuck the random cards and the burner phone into the pockets. I find Javier’s card in the pocket he mentioned. I do a last check in the mirror to make sure my tie is straight and my fly is zipped. I clean up pretty good. No one would suspect I drive a windowless van.
I stop for a second when I grab my keys off the counter. Am I allowed to bring keys? I’d have to break a window to get back in. My landlord won’t be happy. I grab them, lock up, and decide I’ll deal with the consequences later.
Javier jumps out of the car when he sees me walking up. He runs around and opens the door for me. It feels like we’re on a date and I’m the woman. It’s dark, so I can’t tell what type of car this is, other than it’s black and looks expensive. Javier slides back in the front seat. I wonder if he’s expecting me to put out after our date.
“I’ll hold your keys for you until I drop you back home tonight, sir.” That dude is fast. I didn’t even see him turn around. His open palm is right in front of my face.
I noticed he didn’t word that as a question; it was a statement. I don’t like this. “Why do I have to give up my keys?”
He keeps his hand in my face. “Ms. Blakely prefers it this way.”
That doesn’t answer my question, but I guess the time to ask questions was over a while ago. Now we’re in the Just Go With It phase. I hand him my keys. I’ve only known him for a few minutes, but I’m praying he’s a model citizen. He has keys to my home and is the only transportation back here since I have no money or wallet. I must be out of my damn mind.
It doesn’t take long before we pull up in front of a nightclub. The line to get in is halfway down the block. My door opens and I jump before I realize it’s just Javier and his lightning speed.
Before I can take more than one step toward the end of the line, the bouncer opens the door to the club. This is a first. I didn’t catch the name on the door, so I don’t even know where I am. They all look the same on the inside, though. Dark, flashing lights, pumping music, skin everywhere. I have on more clothes than anyone here. Why would Stephanie put me in a suit?
My eyes have barely adjusted to the lights when a crazy hot woman links her arm in mine and pulls me through the crowd. I never say no to a hot woman who wants me to follow her. Ever. Unless it’s Stephanie because she’s terrifying.
The woman is talking to me as we walk, but I can’t hear a word she says. I’m already way too warm in this suit. I tug at the shirt collar and try to let a little air in there. She scans her thumb on a pad on the wall at the back of the club. The door next to it unlocks and she pulls me through. There’s a metal staircase on the other side of the door. We’re halfway up it when the door we came through clicks shut and cuts off the music completely.
“…and if you follow those rules, you won’t have any issues.” She stops talking for the first time since she grabbed my arm.
“Wait. What rules? I didn’t hear anything you said.” Sweat is beading up on my forehead. What kind of Eyes Wide Shut situation did I get myself into? “What are the rules?”
She smiles and opens the only door on this level. “Enjoy your evening, Mr. Wright.”
“What rules? I didn’t hear the rules!” This job definitely should’ve come with paperwork. Stephanie could’ve mentioned some damn rules.
T
he lady pushes on my back to nudge me in. She pushes harder when I don’t move. Fuck it. Nobody lives forever. The music from inside becomes a thousand times louder as soon as I walk in. It’s like someone took the club downstairs and microwaved it. The darkness, the flashing lights, the DJ’s music was pumped in. Men and women grind on the dance floor. This was not the boring business meeting I was expecting. Everyone looks like the women from Stephanie’s office. In fact, I recognize a few of them. They all looked like models. How am I supposed to know who is here to be entertained and who works for Stephanie?
“You’re new,” a blonde woman with tan skin and cheekbones sharp enough to cut you screams in my ear. I take a second to appreciate that I noticed her cheekbones when her giant fake boobs are almost all the way out of her dress. I prefer natural, but I can work with those. Natural boobs are impossible to find in Miami.
“I am.” I should say more, but she’s running her hand up and down my chest. I can’t remember what I was going to say. Probably something stupid.
“Why don’t you get me a drink at the bar?”
Why do women do that thing with their voices that’s all breathy and fake but fools my dick every time? I need to tell her this terrifying woman sent me here with no money or cards and I can only buy her a water. Our path to the bar is pretty open, but she pulls me close while we walk anyway. I wonder how much Stephanie would kill me if I laid one of her clients. This woman has an ass that stretches into next week.
I run my hand down my face when we get to the bar. I need to get my head in the game. I’m here to make money for my dad, not get my dick wet.
She pushes me onto a bar stool and sits in my lap. “I’m Juliana, by the way.” She licks from my shirt collar to the top of my ear.
Maybe I can do both… I run my hand along her thigh. “I’m Ben.”
The bartender comes over to us faster than any bartender I’ve ever seen. “What can I get you and the lovely lady to drink, Mr. Wright?”
The fuck?
“Vodka soda with lime,” Juliana tells him. She’s leaning over the bar a little and I can see the top of her nipples. They look better than my nipples.
Shit. I have no money. Fucking Stephanie. There will be no seeing the rest of those nipples now.
I motion to the bartender to come around closer to me. He leans over uncomfortably close.
“Hey, man.” I’m trying to whisper to him around the hot stranger sitting on my lap licking me. “I, uh, I don’t have a wallet.” Again, fuck Stephanie.
The bartender laughs and winks at my sort of date. “Everything is on the house, Mr. Wright.”
I’m a man. I’ve never had a free drink. Ever. I thought that was something only women could get. This night is getting better by the minute. “I’ll have a beer then.”
Juliana grabs a fistful of my hair and pulls my head to hers. Her tongue is down my throat. Like, it’s almost down my throat for real. I run my hand from her shoulder blades down to the top of her ass. Her dress has less back than it does front, so all I feel is soft skin.
She twists slightly on my lap and she’s about to feel how much I like this. She pulls her tongue out and sucks my bottom lip into her mouth. She bites down and I flinch. I know I’m going to taste blood when she lets go.
Our drinks slide up next to us. Juliana releases my bloody lip and downs her drink in one gulp. She grabs my tie in her right fist and slides her hand down. “I like you. Do you have a card?”
“What?” I’m a little dazed. This morning I was watering plants and begging for more work. Now I’m getting free drinks in a borrowed suit while a sexy woman sits on my semi. This might be a dream.
She wriggles on my lap and my semi is about to go to full hard on.
“Do you have a card? So I can request you again?”
“Oh, yeah.” I forgot about the mysterious cards. I pull the case out of my pocket and hand her one. “What do you mean, ‘request’ me?”
She tucks the card into the top of her barely-there dress. “You’re funny. Let’s go dance.” She almost dislocates my shoulder yanking me off the stool. The floor is packed. All the women are dressed like Juliana, which is typical for a club. Some of the men are in suits and some are casual. I wonder if the ones in suits work for Stephanie.
Juliana drops to the floor and her face is right in front of my dick. It wants to come out and say hello. I don’t think this is that kind of party, though. Then again, I don’t really know what kind of party this actually is. She slides up, pressing her body against mine along the way. Turning around, she grinds her ass on me. I realize I don’t even know her last name. Steed would be proud of me.
I grab her hips and pull her closer. I might just be releasing some stress tonight after all. She turns around and grabs my hair again. Her tongue goes back in my mouth, but I’m at least prepared this time. My hands move from her hips to her ass. It’s firm. She squats. We grind to the beat of the music.
Two more songs play while we make out and almost fuck on the dance floor. She pulls my head down so my ear is next to her mouth. “I need another drink. Come with me.”
As if I would have a choice with her. She jerks my arm and leads me back to the bar. I bet she’s an interesting lay. She might possibly kill me, but it would be interesting.
She orders us two more drinks. I never got to touch my first beer, which feels like a waste of a free drink. The bartender has barely set down our drinks when she swallows hers and signals for another. I chug half my beer because I don’t want to waste another before she wants to dance again. It feels nice to have a night where I don’t have to worry about cancer and hospitals and money, and I only have to worry about where I’m going to find a condom. Which is a big problem. Maybe she’ll want to go back to my place where I already have a box.
She gulps down her third drink in a row while I finish off my beer. “Let’s go.” She takes my arm again and pulls me back to the dance floor. Her hands go inside my jacket and she scratches down my back. I bet Stephanie will kill me if she rips this shirt.
I notice a woman with bright red hair and faker boobs than Juliana is dancing with us. She strokes my arm. This is new.
“Can I have your card?” she yells in my ear over the music.
Juliana knocks her hand off my arm. “Wait your turn, cunt!”
Holy shit! I should not be so turned on right now.
The redhead puts her hand back, but firmer this time. “You know the rules, Juliana.”
“What are the rules?” I’m yelling, but those two can’t hear me over their cat fight.
An African-American woman with short hair and damn respectable tits herself dances into our group. “Can I get a card, love?”
I would love to know what the rules are, but I don’t think anyone is going to tell me. Juliana is glaring at the two new women and they look like they want her dead. Juliana nods at me and I have no idea what that means. So I nod back. She nods again. So I nod again.
“Give them your cards,” she shouts.
“Oh.” I give the two ladies my cards, even though I have no clue what’s happening.
“I’ll be in touch, love.” The short-haired one kisses my cheek and the two new women dance back into the crowd holding hands. My phone number isn’t on the card, so I don’t know how she’s going to be in touch.
Juliana puts both hands on my ass and pulls us together tighter. “Bitches trying to get cut. I think I need another drink.” She keeps hold of my ass and walks me backwards to the bar. She pushes me onto a stool and climbs on my lap again. Drinks appear next to us, even though I never saw her order them.
She downs her drink in one swallow again. I’m starting to think she’s immune to alcohol. A full glass replaces her empty one in seconds. She picks up the new glass and twists her body so she’s straddling me. Picking up her new glass, she dribbles some of the cocktail onto her cleavage.
“Clean it up, Ben.” Her eyes are glassy, but her stare is intense.
On the one ha
nd, this isn’t spring break and I am sort of working here tonight. On the other hand, boobs.
I lick the drops from the top of her breasts. Juliana fascinates me. She’s intense, but she’s so confident. She knows exactly what she wants and she takes it without apology. She’s like playing with fire, but everyone goes through a pyro phase.
She dribbles more into her cleavage. “You missed some, Ben. Please be thorough.” She fists my hair when I put my head back between her tits.
I lick and suck, making sure I’ve gotten all the tangy drink off her boobs. I do another pass just to be sure.
She pulls my hair so hard I yelp from pain. “Bite me, Ben. I want you to bite me.”
I freeze. She clearly likes it rough, but I don’t want to hurt her.
She jerks my hair. “Fucking bite me!” Her voice is almost a growl.
I bite her. It’s more of a nip.
She tugs my hair again. “Harder, goddamnit!”
I bite harder, but her grip doesn’t loosen. I bite again and I know that’s going to leave a mark for a while.
She lets go and sighs. “Yes!” She swallows that drink and motions for another. Her branded tits push up toward my face while she drinks that one.
“Dance!” she shouts as she climbs off my lap. She stumbles when her heels hit the floor.
I grab her around the waist and try to pull her back onto the stool with me. “Whoa, there. I think we need to get some water in you.” I might not be getting my dick wet tonight after all.
She pushes against me. “I said I fucking want to dance!”
I don’t let her go because she’s swaying all over the place. I signal the bartender and hope he understands I want water. I can’t get her back on the stool with me, so I stand up so I can support her better.
I hear the splat before I hear the puking sounds. She’s fucking barfing everywhere. I’m a bad person for thinking how freaking dead I’ll be when Stephanie finds out there’s vomit all over the shoes and pants she leant me. So damn dead.
Three women rush off the dance floor and pull Juliana out of my arms.
Accidental Man Whore Page 5
