Oh shit. “What’d she say?” I wanted her to be honest with her grandmother, but now she doesn’t need me anymore. I hope I didn’t make another dumb decision.
Miryam laughs a little. “She said I’m a fucking idiot and I must think she’s a fucking idiot. She actually said the F word. Twice.”
“What does that mean?”
“She knew the whole time. ‘Never play a player’ is what she told me. I’m really going to have to talk to Aunt Abagail about what she watches on cable. They are out of control.”
“How do you feel?”
I watch her while we’re at a stoplight. I don’t know how, but she’s made this van sexy.
“I feel relieved the truth is out, but I feel really stupid at the same time.” She picks at the bottom of her dress.
“I know exactly what you mean.”
I pull up to the restaurant valet. He hands me a ticket when I step out. It’s a nightmare parking this van on the street. I never let the funny looks from the valets bother me because it beats the alternative. They’re jealous they don’t drive something as cool as my van.
Inside, I don’t like the way any of the men are looking at Miryam. I’m glad they give us a table in the back corner. Men are pigs. I know that makes me a traitor to my own kind, but I don’t care. It’s different when they stare at her like that.
Miryam unfolds her napkin and puts it in her lap. “Have you talked to Stephanie yet?”
“No, and I don’t plan to. I don’t have anything else to say to her.” I turned on my phone a couple of times today. I had fifty text messages and thirty missed calls from her. She can go to Hell.
“You know, I can talk to my office building manager about getting you a contract there. It’s sixty floors. Maybe that would help with your dad’s bills.”
Help? That big of a building would double my income. I’d have the last of the bills paid off in no time. “Are you serious? You would do that for me?”
She reaches her hand across the table and puts it on top of mine. “Of course. I would do anything to help you. I’m happy to do it. I wish I could do more.”
Who is this woman? She doesn’t have a clue how much she’s done for me. And for my dad. I have to stop thinking about it or I’ll cry like a bitch at this table.
“Thank you. That means a lot.”
The waiter saves me from embarrassing myself. He takes our orders and leaves without even eye fucking Miryam. He’s getting a good tip.
While we wait for our meals, Miryam tells me about her plans to transition to criminal defense law. She’s made some phone calls and has some meetings set up with firms in Miami. I don’t care if she sweeps floors, as long as she doesn’t have to work with her douchebag ex.
Our waiter brings our plates and sets them in front of us. The vaca frita at this place is killer. I might eat my plate and Miryam’s.
“You know this isn’t our first date, right?” she says after a few bites. “We’ve been on several.”
I finish chewing the huge amount of shredded beef I forked into my mouth. “I’m not counting anything where I was pretending to be your ex.” I haven’t even met him and I can’t stand him.
Her mouth does this thing I can only describe as a smirk. “I hate to break it to you, but you did a shit job portraying David. You’re ten times the man he is.”
I shake my head. I open my mouth to tell her I did a great job and she’s full of shit, but she stops me.
“Don’t believe me? Ask the elderly blind lady. You couldn’t even fool her.” She touches just the tips of my fingers on top of the table. “Those weren’t dates with David. Those were our dates.”
I don’t know what to say to that. I don’t want to count those dates where I was getting paid. But, I would’ve never gone out with her if we both hadn’t been desperate. I wouldn’t know her like I know her now.
I sip my water and think for a minute. “You know, you’re a pretty good lawyer. You’ve won me over to your side. This isn’t our first date. I don’t know what number it is, but it’s up there. Happy now?”
“I was already happy.” She smiles and clinks her glass against mine.
We finish eating and I pay the bill. I’m ready to get this stupid lawnmower movie behind me. I still don’t understand what it’s about.
We hold hands leaving the restaurant. I can’t get enough of touching her. The valet takes forever bringing the van up. They probably had to park it four miles away. That thing is not made for downtown parking.
We pull into the theater parking lot and I have no trouble finding a space. Only a few cars are in the lot. I guess that’s what happens when you show movies about lawn care. I’m not much of a popcorn and candy guy, so I get a bottle of water that costs more than three cases. Miryam does the same. I think we wake up the kid taking tickets.
Our theater is empty. I mean, empty. She picks a spot in the back row usually reserved for teenage couples or creepy old men. The lights go down and the movie starts playing just like that. No previews or cartoon animals telling me to turn off my cell phone. This lawnmower movie just went in dry.
Miryam leans her head on my shoulder. Her hair smells like oranges and summer. The armrest between our seats is already up, so I’m free to put my hand on her thigh. Whatever’s happening onscreen has subtitles, so I’m already lost. I’d much rather focus on the smoothness of the leg under my hand.
She kisses my neck, sucking on the skin. We’re not going to make it through this movie. I turn my head so I can reach her mouth. I have to pull my hand off her thigh so I don’t dislocate my shoulder. I twist my body toward hers so I can kiss her better. I put my other hand on her thigh, only higher. I haven’t made out in a movie theater since high school. I’ve been missing out.
She puts her hand on my chest, rubbing it over my shirt. That feels like permission to rub her chest, which I really want to do. I put my hand on her shoulder because I don’t want to go straight for it. I run my hands along her collarbone. I always thought of myself as a tits and ass guy, but Miryam’s collarbones are the sexiest things I’ve ever touched.
My hand moves down to the little bit of cleavage popping out of the top of her dress. I have a new sexiest thing now. She moans into my mouth and I’m kicking myself for not jerking off in the van earlier. My hand covers her breast. Her bra must be thin because I can feel her nipple harden under my touch. I can’t take much more of this.
I move both my hands down to her waist and hoist her up and onto my lap. She slides her right leg over my legs so she’s straddling me. Her dress rides up so I can see every inch of her legs. She has legs for miles. I put my hand on each of her thighs and run them upwards. I watch my own hands like it’s the most fascinating movement. My hands reach the bottom of her dress, barely covering the part I want to touch most. My thumbs slip under her dress, tracing the lace edges of her panties.
She puts a hand on either side of my face and tilts it upward. “My place?”
I’ve never loved hearing two little words more. I pull her face back to mine, biting her bottom lip as I kiss her.
“You better figure out how to wear two seatbelts because I’m going to run every light.” I help her up and nearly jog out of the theater, pulling her behind me.
I don’t run any red lights, but we blow through a lot of very yellow ones. Parking the van across one and a half visitor spaces, I run around to open the passenger door. Miryam already has her heels off and is at the bottom of the stairs waiting for me.
“Don’t use up all your energy now!” I call to her.
She shushes me while she hikes up the stairs.
I take the stairs two at a time and catch her when she reaches the last step. I grab her around the waist and pick her up like a doll. She tugs at the bottom of her dress with her free hand, pulling it down.
“Don’t you dare make me flash my neighbors!”
I realize she’s the only one who can open the door, so I set her back down. “No one else gets to see that
tonight.” I want to tell her no one else gets to see that ever, but that’s super possessive and I don’t need my dick punched.
She unlocks the door and walks backwards into her apartment like she’s in a movie. I wonder if she’ll let me take pictures of her. My spank bank looks like my actual bank account these days. I don’t want to have to rely on my memory to rub one out.
She turns around and walks toward her bedroom. Her ass cheeks bounce with each step. I lock all the locks on the door and think about propping a chair under the handle. I don’t want any interruptions tonight. The whole world can fall apart outside, but there better not be a single distraction in here.
I step out of my shoes while I walk to her bedroom. I unbutton my shirt and toss it a few steps later. Miryam is lying on top of her bed in just a purple bra and panties. How did I get this lucky?
She pats the bed next to her. “What took you so long?”
It feels like she’s asking about more than just tonight. “I don’t know, but I’m here now.”
She pats the bed again. “You’re too far away. Come here.”
I couldn’t wait to get her in bed tonight. Now that we’re here, I don’t want to hurry any more. We’re not trying to get each other off and go back to our lives. This is something more. I don’t know what it’s called, but it’s… more.
I walk over to her side of the bed and lean over. I catch the edge of her lips with mine. I kiss her chin, her neck, the top of her breasts, her stomach, and her hipbone. I swing her legs over so they hang off the side of the bed. I kneel on the floor so I’m eye-level with her knees. I can’t see her face from this angle, but I can see her fucking fantastic rack moving up and down with each fast breath.
I curl my fingers over the top of her panties and pull them down. I spend a lot of time looking at flowers, but I haven’t seen anything more incredible than this orchid. I toss her panties somewhere behind me. I hope she never finds them. It’s a crime to cover this up.
I run my fingertips across her. I want to memorize everything about this. I push her knees apart and tug until her ass is at the edge of the bed. Running my tongue along her, I put more pressure on the nub that makes her moan. This is where I want to spend the rest of my life. Right here. Between her thighs.
I open her up with my fingers and push my tongue inside. She’s so warm. I’ve never been great at multi-tasking, but this I can do. My face stays buried in heaven while my right hand explores her upper body. I pull down one of the lace cups of her bra and squeeze her breast. They feel even better like this than when I accidentally groped them in the club.
I can feel her leg vibrating under my other hand. She’s close and I can’t think of anything better than Miryam coming in my mouth. I pinch her nipple between my fingers and massage her boob at the same time. My tongue focuses on the nub between her legs. I can hear her nails scratching the sheets. I wish I could see her lose control.
Soon.
She groans and I can feel the rush against my tongue. I know the mechanics of going down, but I always did it out of obligation. Until now. I could do this all night if I didn’t want to be inside her so bad. I have my junk pushed up against the mattress to ease the pain. I keep thinking my dick can’t possibly get harder, and then it does. The poor guy is going to explode.
I put both hands on her thighs to steady myself as I stand. She’s still shaking. I hover over her on the bed and kiss her lips.
“Thank you… That was… Wow.” She smiles against my lips.
I rub my nose along the side of hers. “Anytime. I mean that. Call me in the middle of the night and I’ll be here.”
She wraps one of her legs over mine. “Your van does say you make house calls. It’d be false advertising if you didn’t.”
I plant four rapid fire kisses on her mouth. “I’ll be the first and only one on the scene for any sexual emergency.”
She runs her hand up my back and into my hair. “I like the sound of that.” She pulls my head back to hers for another kiss. “How about I lose this bra and you lose those pants?”
I could cry real tears of joy. She pulls off her bra. Her tits bounce freely. I wonder if she knows how fucking perfect they are. Every woman in Miami is paying thousands of dollars to look like she does. I’m making a mental list of all the places I want to put my dick. I’m not even ashamed. I’m up to five now.
I realize I’m standing there staring like a teenage boy who’s seeing boobs for the first time. I pull out my wallet and grab a condom. I pull down my pants and underwear, kicking those behind me.
Miryam sits up on her elbows. “Holy moley.”
She’s staring right at my boner that’s bobbing up and down like a seesaw. I know it’s above average. I’ve been in locker rooms. It’s why I can drive a van and not an expensive sports car.
“Does that fit inside human people?”
She’s not even blinking.
I don’t know what to tell her. Now’s not the time to say it’s fit into a bunch of other women before. It’s stupid because I didn’t even know her, but I feel guilty for sleeping with other people before her. I’ve never been a save-myself-for-marriage kind of guy. I’ve always been the you’re-only-young-once guy. I don’t know what to do with these feelings.
I crawl on top of her, but don’t touch her. “Scoot all the way on the bed and let’s find out.”
She scoots backward until her head is near the far edge of the bed. Her feet dangle off the side since we’re lying sideways. At least I don’t have to worry about slamming her head against the headboard. Maybe that’s why she has a million pillows.
I put the condom wrapper between my teeth to tear it. She snatches it out of my mouth.
“I’ll help you with that.” She opens it and reaches down with one hand. Her hand wraps around the head of my cock and she slides it down. My eyes roll so far back in my head I can see my skull.
She drags her hand back up, her thumb doing tiny circles on the top side. I’ve been touching myself for more years than I can count and she taught me a new move in three seconds.
I think about baseball stats because that’s every guy’s go-to when he’s trying not to come too soon.
She rubs her thumb around the head and strokes back to the base, grazing my balls with her fingertips.
Baseball isn’t doing it. I mentally run through every disgusting video I’ve ever seen online. That calms me down a little.
She runs her hand back up to the tip. The softness of her thumb is replaced by the warmth of her pussy as she rubs my dick against herself. I’m running out of boner-killer videos.
She rolls the condom on and it’s almost a relief. I definitely want to feel her inside with no barrier, but I don’t think I could handle that tonight. I place my hand over hers and slide myself in. I don’t think I’ve ever moved this slow before. I don’t want to hurt her. I watch her face. Her eyes are closed and her mouth is open. Her hair is wild against her comforter. She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
I ease in and out of her so slow, I can barely feel the movement. She opens her eyes and looks at me. Her hand strokes my jaw. This isn’t just fucking. This is something new.
She rolls her hips to match mine. I can feel her thighs quivering next to my hips. I go a little faster and she grabs one of the tiny pillows stacked next to her, crushing it under her hand. I put all my weight on my right hand and use my left to circle her clit. She puts the pillow over her mouth, but I can hear the muffled cries beneath it.
I wanted to give her three orgasms before I came, but the sight of her screaming into a pillow while her boobs bounce under me and her pussy clenches around my dick is too much. I’m just a man and this is the Super Bowl of sex. I let go and it’s better than all of my recent fantasies.
I lie down on top of her, trying not to put my full weight on her. I brush some of the hair away from her face. She looks like a wild thing, which is fitting for her.
My head is a jumble of a lot of things. I hop
e she knows that was something special for me. If I say it now, I’ll screw it up. Maybe she knows and maybe she feels the same way.
She scratches her nails lightly above my ear and smiles. “I have a feeling I’m going to have a lot of sexual emergencies in the near future.”
You and me both, Miryam. You and me both.
CHAPTER 16
WE’RE ALL GOING TO JAIL
MIRYAM
Good sex can make you feel like you’re walking on clouds. Great sex can make you feel powerful. The best sex you’ve ever had can make you feel like you could overthrow the government and run the world.
Last night was, without a doubt, the best sex I’ve ever had.
I would wager it’s the best sex anyone anywhere has ever had.
Haters will say it’s a fluke, but we had sex twice, so that’s unimpeachable evidence. He touched things inside of me—emotionally and physically—that no one else has breached. I think his tongue is somehow double-jointed. And the size correlation between hands and manhood are spot on. Spot on. He got the golden ticket of genetics.
We laid in bed for hours in the morning, kissing and talking. Bubbie always told me talking is more intimate than sex, but I never understood. I get it now. If you’re having a real conversation with someone you care about, that’s the most naked you can be.
I didn’t want to go into the office, but since I played hooky yesterday, I figured I should. Ben went back to his place. He said he had some things he needed to handle. I wish I knew how to help him with his Stephanie problem. He won’t let me send a cease and desist letter or file a restraining order.
I’m sitting at my desk, not getting a single thing done, when my phone rings. Sheba’s mug flashes across the screen. She’s probably calling for details about our date because she’s a filthy whore. And I love her.
“Sheba, last night…”
“I’m going to cut you off because I have a bunch of eavesdropping police officers staring at me. But I want those details later for sure.”
What in the world? “Police officers? Are you okay? What’s going on?”
Accidental Man Whore Page 16
