“I’d never force you.”
“You wouldn’t have to. For so long, I’ve been so scared of what I would do, what the world could do. But I choose my own destiny. When Max ran to me today, when he hugged me...I understood it. For the first time. I can’t promise you anything, but...” Possessive heat flickered in his gaze. His thumb stroked over her belly, and her whole body flashed impossibly warm. “But the idea of it. Of you...”
Her resolve crumbled to dust.
She dropped to her knees. Eye to eye with him, she cupped his face in her palm, the bristly roughness of his cheek feeling too right beneath her touch.
“You broke my heart, you know.”
“I know. And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. But if you’ll let me, I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I—” He cut himself off, but when he spoke again, it was with an assuredness, an absolute conviction that soaked into her bones. “I love you. I need you. I want you.”
And the hole he’d left inside of her filled up, up, up.
If he hadn’t already been there, the glowing softness in her eyes would have brought him to his knees. He didn’t dare to hope, though—scarcely dared to so much as breathe. How many second chances did a man get, after all?
But here she was, closer than he’d ever imagined anyone would ever be again. She was touching him, the warm, smooth grazing of her fingertips against his cheek firing off sparks beneath his skin. And he still didn’t deserve this—he likely never would.
Just one more second chance. It was all he needed. If she gave it to him, he’d spend the rest of his life doing his best to give her the world.
“Oh, Cole.” The damp sheen to her eyes grew brighter, setting off a roughness in his throat and a pressure behind his own eyes. “I think I loved you the moment I met you.”
It was an ocean wave crashing in his heart. That dry, shriveled thing that she’d taught to beat again heaved, coming back to life, and he let out his breath in a rush.
“Thank God,” he mumbled, and he couldn’t wait another moment.
He claimed her mouth with the power of the restraint he’d relied on his entire life to try to keep himself in check; only he didn’t have to anymore. This woman knew him better than maybe anyone ever had—and that thought set off a pang.
One other woman had come close, but she was gone. She lived safe inside his memory, but she didn’t have to haunt him anymore.
He could let her go.
And he could allow himself to love once more.
Fully present for maybe the first time in his life, he gave himself over to the heat and the wonder of the woman in his arms. She kissed him back with a passion to match his own, like maybe she’d been longing for this as much as he had. She opened to him with the same sweetness he remembered, and he closed his eyes, licking past her lips and trailing his hands up and down her arms.
“I’m sorry,” he breathed into their kiss. “I’m so sorry. Forgive me.”
She shook her head, holding his face between her hands. “There’s nothing to forgive.”
He couldn’t believe it, and yet he had to. He’d doubted her sincerity, had doubted that anyone could be so down-to-the-bones good, but to doubt her choice was to doubt her, and that was a mistake he’d never make again. If she forgave him for hurting her, then...
Then he was forgiven.
A ray of light burst through his chest. He clutched her closer, breaking the kiss to pull her flush against his chest, burying his face against her hair and hanging on.
All of the confessions he had told her in the dark, and now they were here. She was his light, a brilliance as golden as her hair, chasing the shadows from all the untouched places inside of him. A weight rose off his shoulders.
“I’ve missed you.” His voice broke on the words. “So much.”
She laughed, holding him right back. “Not as much as I’ve missed you.”
He edged away, just far enough that he could look her in the eyes. “I am going to do everything in my power to make it up to you.”
Cracking a smile as bright as the very sun, she curled soft fingers in his hair. “I think I like the sound of that.”
No protestation. No insistence that he didn’t have to do anything nice for her. A tide of feeling overwhelmed him, and he kissed the sunshine from her lips. Their last couple of weeks apart and his stubborn idiocy had cost them both, but maybe it had helped them, too. Maybe she’d finally come to realize that she was worth being showered with every good thing on this earth. That it was right to take some good things for herself.
He was determined to be a very, very good thing.
As he delved more deeply into her mouth, the low hum of arousal he couldn’t help but feel when she was close engulfed him. He was hard against her hip, his skin tingling and too tight. These past few weeks, his sex drive had gone all but dormant again, but it awoke with a vengeance, filling him with a whole different kind of fire.
A hint of a growl crept into his throat as he tore himself from her lips, staring down into eyes gone dark and wanting.
“Then I’m going to start right now.”
And fuck, this was insane, but he felt no pain as he staggered to his feet. He lifted her up as he went, swinging her into his arms.
With a laughing shriek, she looped her hands behind his neck, holding on for the ride. “What are you doing?”
“Something I’ve been wanting to do since the moment I saw you.”
A few weeks weren’t close to enough for him to have forgotten the way to her bed. Instead of lumbering after her, held back by his knee and his regrets, he carried her down the hall and through the door. The twinging of his leg was no match to the freedom of sweeping her up like this. Of setting her down on the edge of her bed and climbing after her, pressing her back onto the mattress until she lay spread out beneath him.
Attacking her throat, sucking marks into the tender skin, he skated his hands along her sides, over the swells of her breasts and the dip of her waist, and it was a fucking revelation to lie on top of her. To be able to touch her as he did.
He clenched his eyes shut tight against the need storming hot inside his blood. “Stop me. Tell me you don’t want this. Tell me I’m moving too fast.”
“Never.” A breathy noise escaped her lips, and she scratched the blunt edges of her nails along his scalp, sending fire in their wake.
He groaned into her flesh. He slid one hand to cup her thigh, spreading her out so he could settle into the cradle of her hips. He was so fucking hard for her; he needed her so much. Dropping lower, he let the line of his cock drag right over her through their clothes, and the contact shot sparks.
She whimpered, tugging him back to her mouth, and he fell into the kiss and into her. He ground down hard, and it only felt better, but it wasn’t enough.
“Naked,” he managed to pant out, shoving at her top. “I need you naked.”
He needed her skin and her touch and the long, deep slide into her body. Needed to feel her come around him.
Or better, around his tongue.
He swore out loud, and something tore in his rush to get at her flesh, but she didn’t seem to care any more than he did. She helped him wrestle her top over her head, reaching behind herself to get at her bra as he rose onto his knees to unbutton his shirt. At least one pinged off the wall, flying free, and he growled at it.
She sat up then, and her hand on his face was the only thing that could pull him from his haze. Her laughter rang out, soft and kind. “Hey.” She stroked a thumb across his cheek. “Hey, there’s no rush.”
Everything was a rush. He’d gone so long without. He didn’t want to lose a single second to buttons or zippers or his own treacherous mind again.
Her other hand settled over his, and when she spoke, this time it was firmer. “Cole. Slow down. We have all the time in the world.” She paused, shifting so she could look him in the eye. “Don’t we?”
It was only the faintest hint of doubt, but it was en
tirely too loud.
He took a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down. To get himself back under control. She was a miracle, the way she could do that for him. The way she could bring him back out of his head.
“Yes.” He nodded, exhaling hard. “Forever.”
Her eyes went bright, but all she did was reel him in, kissing him softer. Slower.
Better.
Together, they got the rest of their clothes off, kicking trousers and pants and shoes off the end of the bed. When they were finally both bare, she lay back, beckoning him to follow. Hovering on his hands and knees above her, he let himself really look.
God, she was beautiful. Her hair flowed out across her pillows in a cloud, and her lips were red and wet and parted, her cheeks deeply flushed.
And her breasts. The soft, pink peaks of them called out to him. His prick pulsed, leaking fluid against her hip. Shifting his weight to one arm, he slipped his knuckles down the center of her chest, gliding to the side to tweak her nipple with his thumb before continuing down. Over her navel and the little pout of her belly. He followed the line of her hip bone in.
When he traced the place where her leg met her body, she whimpered, tilting her hips toward his touch.
“Impatient,” he chided, and she made another little sound of frustration. He shook his head. “You were the one who told me to take my time.”
At that, she groaned, but she was good for him, lying back. Her muscles were all tense, her gaze so needful, even as she tried to relax.
Good.
He grazed his lips over hers, then down along her jaw toward her ear. “I can’t decide what I want first. To be inside you or to taste you.” With that, he slipped his fingers through her kitty, a teasing dip into her wetness and a glancing brush against her clit. “What do you think? Want my fingers in you or my cock? Want me to lick your pretty pussy?” Breathing wetly, he sucked at her ear. “I could eat you out for days, you taste so sweet.”
She curled her palm around the back of his neck. “All of it.” She nudged his head, prodding his kisses lower. “Starting with your mouth.”
His prick leaked harder. So many times, he’d asked her what she wanted, but she’d never actually answered him before. She’d begged and she’d pleaded, but she’d never set the course, and it shouldn’t get him so fucking hot that she was willing to now.
“As you wish.”
Fuck, he was going to make her sorry she’d ever asked him to go slow. It was torture for him, too, but he bit and kissed his way down her body with all the patience he could bear. With his lips and teeth and tongue, he reacquainted himself with every inch of her. Her breasts were as soft and ripe as he remembered, her nipples as tender as he sucked them one by one into his mouth. Panting out his name, she arched her spine into his touch. Tugged at his hair, sending jolts of too-pleasurable pain to the roots and straight on a hard wire to his cock.
He nearly bypassed her pussy entirely, half tempted to fit his lips to the insides of her knees, to see what she’d do if he pressed kisses to the soles of her feet and her toes. But there was time for that—she’d said it herself. They had all the time in the world, a lifetime to spend discovering each other. And he was going to make the most of it.
For now, though, he couldn’t wait another moment. The scent of her had blanked his mind. She spread her legs for him, and he braced himself on his elbows between those milky-pale thighs. He’d gotten her to sit on his face before and let him lick her out like that, but he’d never been able to lie on his stomach and worship her before. Never been able to take it at his own pace.
“Beautiful,” he mumbled as he kissed right over her mound. She was all soft and pink and open, straining for it as he slid his fingers through her wetness, exposing that perfect little pussy to his gaze.
She panted and flopped an arm across her face. “Are you just going to look at it?”
Maybe he should, just to watch her squirm, but even he couldn’t be that cruel.
“No,” he said, gazing up into her eyes. “I’m not.”
He dove in without reservation or hesitation, the way he should have entered into this thing with her in the first place, the way he was resolved he would from now on. The sweet musk of her enveloped him, taking over his senses as he licked wide stripes all up and down the length of her, dancing circles around her clit.
“Oh God.” Her hand on his head told him exactly where she wanted him to be, guiding him back to the very center when he strayed, darting down to lick inside or away to scrape his teeth along her outer lips.
Only when her thighs were shaking did he fit his whole mouth to her, sucking wetly at her clit and beating a fast, strong rhythm with his tongue.
Her moan had his cock pulsing where it rubbed against her sheets. “Yes. There. That’s—”
He traced a finger around her opening, and her hips tried to leap off the bed. He pressed her back down with his free hand, shooting her a stern look that was met with a desperation that only fueled his need. With two slick fingers, he fucked her deep and hard, licking faster. He couldn’t wait; he wanted her to fall over, to soar. He wanted to give her this—to give her everything.
When she broke around his fingers, it was with a cry that tore through him, her inner walls pulsing hotly with a gush of slickness, driving him insane. He closed his eyes and chased her past the edge, but he didn’t slow down when she went lax. He coaxed her up and up, until she was shivering and oversensitive and crashing through to the other side, moaning for it all over again.
But then her hands in his hair yanked hard. He parted from her flesh, meeting eyes gone needy and wild.
“Come here.” She beckoned, and he had no will in him to defy.
He climbed his way up her body, smearing kisses over her abdomen and her breasts. Meeting her mouth again, he let her taste herself on his lips and swallowed her groan. His cock twitched hard against her thigh, and when she reached down to curl her palm around him, he bit down on her lip.
“Love,” he moaned. “Serena, please.”
She guided him down, gliding his tip through the soft, slick flesh of her, and it felt like his skin turning inside out.
Like he was inches from finally, finally being home.
“Push inside.” She kissed his mouth, curling her fingers against his scalp. “Be inside me.”
Fuck. He drove forward in an achingly long, slow thrust. Buried to the hilt, his hips pressed flush to hers, he squeezed his eyes shut tight. He’d never get over the dizzying heat of her, the way she seemed to be made for him, welcoming him into her.
From the very beginning, she’d been so welcoming to him. So eager and free with her love and care. He’d spent too long resisting it, but as he lost himself inside her, he swore. He’d never hold back from her again. She’d get all of him, the good and the bad, and she’d make both better with the touch of her hand. With the warmth of her kiss.
“Serena...”
“I’ve got you.” The soft press of her palm on the back of his neck and at his hip grounded him to this planet and to her. “Cole, you’re fine, you’re good, you feel so good.”
He met her lips again, opening his eyes to stare into bright irises the color of the sea, and he could drown in them and never ever miss the air.
For the longest time, they stayed there like that, just barely rocking against each other as the heat of their connection melted him to his bones. She felt so perfect around him, wet and tight, and to go in bare like this—to possess her so fully. It was too much and nowhere close to enough.
He needed more.
Getting his knees underneath him, he ran a hand down her side to her ass, tilting her hips up into his thrusts so he slid in that extra bit deeper, and they groaned as one. Her flesh was silk beneath his palm, her sounds of pleasure a drug. He slipped his tongue through her mouth, dragging a hand along her thigh to lift it higher, and she was right on board. Wrapping her legs around him, she kept him close, until it was like they were one, as if they
could never come apart. And then her pussy squeezed him.
Lightning zipped from his balls to the base of his spine, his skin crackling with it, and he gasped her name against her mouth. He wanted it to last, the same way he wanted them to last, but it felt too good. He had to let go.
He had to trust.
Planting both his hands to either side of her head, he braced himself on his arms and sped the motion of his hips. She met his every thrust, ankles crossed and digging into his arse, urging him on. The edge was closing in faster now. Driving in hard, he ground himself against her clit, desperate to feel her come apart. Her face went tense, the soft, whining noises that escaped from her lungs reaching into the very core of him and twisting.
He let loose a deep breath, the white-hot fire gathering. His voice was a broken moan. “Can you?”
“Don’t stop,” she pleaded. “Don’t—”
“Never.”
Her hands tightened against his skin, the hot clench of her pulling him in.
All his life, he’d feared losing control. But in that instant, he gave it up. He gave it to her, to have and to hold.
“I love you,” he breathed.
She tossed her head back. “I love you. Cole, I—”
Her climax washed over her like a dawn across the sky. Her pussy throbbed and pulsed, tightening around him until he tumbled after, and the black haze of need broke into brilliant light. Slamming forward one last time, he poured himself into her, imperfect and yet whole.
Complete.
EPILOGUE
Four years later
Excuse me, Professor Stafford?”
Cole glanced up, sliding his notes in his bag as he did. The young man standing on the other side of the lectern had his shoulders back, his expression tight. Cole furrowed his brow. “Yes?”
“I was hoping you had a minute.”
Cole’s laptop beeped, indicating it had finished shutting down. “Literally or figuratively?” He disconnected it from the projector and closed the lid before shoving it into its sleeve. “Because if the former, then you can walk with me. If the latter, it’ll have to wait until office hours tomorrow.”
Confessions in the Dark Page 30
