by Regina Frame
Now that I looked at her, I mean really looked at her, she looked much older than she did last night. Her black eyeliner was smudged beneath her eyes, and all the red lipstick from the night before had bled into the little lines around her mouth.
"That's exactly what I mean."
She frowned and pulled the belt on her green silk robe tighter.
"Uh-Um," she stammered around, looking everywhere but at me, which I found to be very unsettling. "You … Um."
"Spit it the fuck out already!" I demanded.
She pulled at the front of her robe and shifted on her feet.
"You wanted sex. That was why we ended up back here in the private room." Her voice trailed off at the end.
Just fucking great!
"So, we had sex." I ran my hand through my hair and gripped the back of my neck.
"No; we didn't." My eyes slid to hers. She looked uncomfortable for some reason. "You couldn't get it up." Well, that definitely got my attention. I barked out a laugh. I couldn't have heard that right. That was some of the funniest shit I'd heard in a long time. "We… You tried, but you couldn't."
I shook my head and smiled. I didn’t know whether I should worry that I couldn't get it up, or to be thankful. I was gonna go with thankful, because I'd never do that to Honor. I reached in my back pocket and pulled out my wallet. Before I could pull out a stack of bills she spoke.
"You don't owe me anything." That was a foreign statement to me. Everyone wanted something from me. Always. My eyes slid to hers in question. She shook her head and turned to leave. You tossed enough money my way last night. Actually more than I make in a month's time and I thank you for that. Whatever demon you've got eating you up on the inside, I hope you get it worked out." She said, looking over her shoulder at me.
"What makes you think I've got demons?" I asked out of curiosity.
"Doesn't everyone sweetheart? I know who you are. Why else would you come to some shithole like this when you could be in a V.I.P. room in a more upscale part of the city?" With that she walked out without another word. I sat up on the side of the threadbare sofa and waited for the dizziness to hit me and when it didn't, I walked out looking for the closest exit. I left through the employee entrance that led to the back lot. I had to shade my eyes with my hands from the blinding sunlight. My car was right where I left it by the dumpster. The stench of garbage hung heavy in the air making my stomach roll. I slid onto the leather seat and started the air conditioning at full blast before leaving the parking lot and heading home.
When I got home, I found Honor standing in the kitchen at the stove. Booger was sitting at her feet. In hopes of her dropping something, I was sure.
She looked absolutely beautiful. Her blonde hair was pulled in to a high ponytail and she was wearing a white tank top, shorts, and neon yellow sneakers. She had a beautiful floral tattoo that covered her left arm and shoulder and wrapped around her left thigh, peeking out beneath her silky shorts. The colors seemed even more vibrant under the fluorescent lights in the kitchen.
"Morning," I greeted as I walked to the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of water. She eyed me with suspicion, and I felt a twinge of guilt. I don't know why, but I felt like I'd done her wrong by my actions last night. "Smells good," I stated before turning the bottle up and downing half of it in two big gulps.
"It's chicken, and it's not for you. It's for Booger." She continued to move the chicken around the pan with a big metal spatula.
"Did you say you're cooking for the dog?" I couldn't have heard her right. Maybe I was still a little high from last night.
"Yes. I'm cooking for your dog. He needs to lose some weight or he's going to get diabetes and clogged arteries." She paused and looked down at where he now lied at her feet. "Isn't that right, Booger?"
He wagged his little nub of a tail, but didn't bother getting to his feet. I guess maybe he could stand to lose a few pounds. I'd never really thought about what was in the processed food that I fed him every day, or the endless table food that I shared with him. My diet wasn't exactly the best in the world.
"Did you see the text from Jinx this morning?" she asked. I shook my head, because I hadn't even checked my phone since I woke up that morning. I was in too big of a hurry to get the hell out of that club and get home. "Jinx wants us all to meet at the studio at noon. He said he had something important to discuss with us."
I checked the time on the microwave to find that it was already eleven. I sighed and scrubbed my hands roughly over my face.
"You smell like cheap perfume." Her mouth pulled into a straight line.
"It's not what you think," I replied, hoping that she'd believe me, because, for once in my life, I was telling the truth.
Without a word, she turned back to the stove, and I headed for the shower to wash away last night's shame and guilt.
***
"Are you sure that you want to drive? Traffic is going to be nuts today."
Jinx had called a meeting, so we were heading out to the studio downtown. I offered to drive, because of the accident we had a few weeks back. Honor had not only gotten a concussion, but she'd had some issues in dealing with it because it brought back too many memories of her parents’ death. I had pictures in my head of her pulling onto the interstate and freezing, or maybe even freaking out. Neither being good.
"I told you, I'll be fine. I am fine." She opened the door to her Mustang GT and got in. "Besides, you've driven me everywhere. Just sit back and relax for once. Take in the beautiful L.A. scenery."
I rolled my eyes at her, causing her to laugh. It was music to my ears.
I clicked my seatbelt into place, and then wiped my sweaty palms down the front of my jeans. "Promise me that if you get uncomfortable with the traffic, you'll tell me.”
"Yes, sir," she said with as much sarcasm as possible while saluting me like a drill sergeant.
"Fuck you." I leaned my head against the leather headrest and closed my eyes. At least we were back to the joking part of our relationship. That gave me hope. Now all I had to do was work on getting her back to where we were. "Wake me up when we get there," I said, jokingly. When she didn't say anything, I cracked an eye open to see her checking her makeup in the rearview mirror.
"Are we leaving sometime today? Trust me when I say you don't want him to call back." By him, I meant Jinx. "It's never a good thing when he has to call back."
"Fine."
She clicked her seatbelt into place and backed out of the drive. I had thought the traffic would cause her anxiety, but she proved me wrong. Big time! She was causing me anxiety at the moment. Holy shit!
"Where in the hell did you learn to drive? Nascar?"
Her driving was shit. She was constantly weaving in and out of traffic, or changing from one CD to the next. The only thing missing was her choosing to apply her mascara.
"What are you talking about? I'm a good driver." She said that as she cut some dude off as he was merging onto the interstate.
"Is that why the guy back there was giving you the one finger wave? Or was he telling you that you're number one?"
How could she not miss the blaring of his horn or his obscene hand gestures toward her?
"Don't be such a grump," she accused, while taking her eyes off the road to smirk at me.
"Would you please keep your eyes on the road? Damn, woman. I'm seriously close to losing my shit over here." I grabbed what I liked to call the 'oh shit handle' above the passenger window and took a deep breath. "I'm driving home, just so you know."
She either didn't hear me over honking of car horns around us, or she was ignoring me. Probably the later.
***
"Hey, fuckers," I greeted as I lowered myself onto one of the leather wingback chairs at the conference table.
"You look a little pale," Levi said.
"You try riding to work with Dale Jr."
I hooked my thumb toward where Honor was standing, staring at her phone with a scowl on her adorable face. She was chewing her plump bott
om lip. That little action on her part was all it took to make my dick hard.
"Don't think I didn't hear that," she said, looking up from her phone long enough to scowl at me.
"We should take her out to Olive Branch," Levi offered.
Olive Branch was a local racetrack where new drivers could train for competition, but since Jinx knew the owner, we sometimes rented the track for fun. It was a great place to burn off steam, or in our case, a much needed escape.
"Hell no!" I could picture her flying around that track and going over the side.
"Why not?"
She glared at me as she slid onto the chair beside me and bumped me playfully with her shoulder. Her warm vanilla scent filled my nose, and memories of how good she tasted had my dick growing at a rapid speed. Friends. She'd put me back in the friend zone, and I was not okay with that. Not at all.
"Yeah. Why not?" Levi asked.
Clearly, he was taking her side. Asshole.
"It's settled then, Sparkles. Levi will take you out there sometime."
I couldn't help but smirk when his brows shot all the way up to his pretty boy hairline. If the dumbass was gonna take her side, I'd put it back on him. Let him get a taste of her driving. I chuckled to myself.
"What's up?" I questioned, ready to get down to business and get out of there.
Jinx opened up a manila folder and pulled out a stack of papers, handing a set to each of us.
The name on the first page caught my attention immediately, because it was a contract of some sort and Linc's name was first on the list. Did this mean that he was quitting the band? I knew he said he wanted some time off to write and get his demons under control, but had he changed his mind and decided to call it quits?
"We've got some decisions to make," Jinx declared, shuffling through his stack of papers. “As you all know, Linc has decided to quit touring for an indefinite amount of time." He tapped his fingers in a nervous beat against the table's wooden surface. "He's not sure if he'll ever be ready to tour full time again, so what we have here is a copy of his revised contract to reflect that."
I was somewhat relieved that he was at least going to continue to write. We owed a huge chunk of our success to that guy, and it would suck if we had to miss out on his writing talent.
"That's good for him, but where does that leave us when Honor's three months are up?" Levi asked.
I glanced at her from the corner of my eye and saw the look of worry on her face. I knew she'd told me that she'd much rather play music than work in a corporate setting.
"Here's what I propose," he said, handing over another stack of papers, this one having Honor Collins's name at the top. The three month time limit had been omitted and, instead, that space was left blank.
Was he going to offer her a full time position with us? We would be crazy not to, but would she take it? What about her father's record label? Actually, it belonged to her and her uncle Louis now. "Honor," he said, turning his attention to her. "You are one of the most talented guitarists out there, and I think I can speak for the rest of the guys when I say, you fit in with the group really well. You came in and picked up the pace just like you'd been at it for years, and the fans love you. There have been a shit ton of fan mail coming in for you." She seemed surprised by that, but smiled at his praise. "I know you've got your label to worry about, but we'd like to offer you a full time position with the group."
"You can take some time to think about it, maybe talk it over with your uncle and let us know as soon as possible, because if you choose to leave after the original three months, we'll need to hold auditions. We go back on the road in a few months, and we don't want to get caught with our pants down." He laughed at his own joke.
I flipped him off for bringing that up. So what? I'd had a little too much to drink last year right before we were to go on stage at the American Music Awards, and I may have dropped my pants and showed my ass to the crowd along with the billions watching on T.V. I had a new tattoo, and I'd wanted the world to see it. At least, that was my reasoning behind it.
The network fined me five hundred thousand dollars, and I couldn’t take the stage there again for at least two years. But, in case you missed it, just Google me. It was there, and it was spectacular.
"I can give you an answer now, if you'd like," she announced. We all gave her a nod, urging her to continue. I'd just gotten used to having her around, and I didn't like to think about her leaving. "You're right. I do have my label to consider, but my uncle Louis and our team are fine without me. I mean, he still consults with me on any major decisions, but as far as the day to day business, he doesn't need me.
"My heart lies in the music. I love playing guitar. It's been a part of my life since I was old enough to hold one. My parents knew this and always encouraged me to follow my dreams. I know they'd be proud knowing that I chose to play over working in the corporate office." Jinx smiled, as did the rest of us, until she said, "I'll do it on one condition."
We all sat there holding our breath and waiting.
What could she possibly want? I didn’t think it could be the money, because she was going to make a shit ton of that, and I was pretty sure that she probably had more money now than she could spend in her lifetime. She sat up straight, her blue eyes finding mine. There was something there, but I couldn't quite figure it out.
"I'll do it, but I'd like to donate my salary to Heartstrings."
My heart slammed against my chest, and my mouth went dry. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. She was donating millions of dollars to the children's home. I knew she was special the day she showed up at the studio. I had given her shit, and she gave it right back. I just thought she was an angel then. I was certain of it now. The whole friend thing was about to end, because she just became so much more.
"Are you serious? Why would you do that?" I had to ask, because for some reason, I couldn't seem to wrap my head around it.
"I'm dead serious. Ever since you took me there, I haven't been able to get him off my mind. I still picture his innocent little face and wonder why someone would hurt him so badly." She stared down at her hands where they rested in her lap. "I've been very fortunate, blessed even, and I want to give back. I want to see it do some good to help change lives," she said.
I didn't miss the look Jinx gave me. He knew how much that meant to me. Her eyes filled with tears as we all agreed on her terms and she signed on the dotted line. She was now a permanent member of Dirty Affliction.
I talked her into letting me drive home. It was a wise decision, just like I knew it would be, because she was wired with excitement. She hadn't stopped talking for one minute about how happy she was to be a part of the band.
She practically bounced in the passenger seat next to me as she talked animatedly with her hands. I couldn't tell you half of what she'd said, because I was too busy thinking about what I was going to do to her once I got her home.
No woman had ever twisted me up like she had, and I didn’t know why. I'd never been like that with a woman. Never slowed down enough to get to know them. Enjoy them. It had always been about the drugs and fucking. Until Honor. I couldn’t explain. She was different, and she made me want to slow down and feel. Feel every emotion, and cherish every second of the day with her.
Chapter Eleven
Honor
When Jinx slid that contract in front of me, I couldn't believe my eyes. My dream of being a musician was coming true, and I did it all on my own. It was not because of who I was or who I knew. I didn't ask anyone to pull strings for me, ever. It all came down to working hard and putting your heart and soul in to what you loved, and it was finally paying off. And for the life of me, I couldn’t wipe the stupid smile off my face!
"What are you thinking about over there?" Chance implored as he shifted gears in my Mustang. The colorful dragon that ran the length of his arm danced as his muscles bunched with the action.
"I'm wondering if I'm going to wake up and this will all have been a dr
eam. My three months will be up and you guys will send me packing."
"Not a chance in hell, Sparkles. You've earned this." Reaching over, he took my hand and laced his fingers with mine, causing goose bumps to rise on my arms. "You deserve to be here as much, if not more, than I do." The look on his face was serious, and the tone of his voice sounded a little sad.
"Why on earth would you say that?" My brows dipped in confusion. "No one plays guitar like you do, Chance. No. One."
"Oh. Come on, Sparkles." He chuckled, as if I should somehow know the answer to that. "All you have to do is search my name on the internet and you'll see. It's all out there, high definition, for the world to judge. That's what people have been doing my whole life; judging me. And the verdict came in a long time ago. I'm a screw up. I always have been, and probably always will be. It's okay to agree. You won't hurt my feelings. I promise. I've been screwing up since the day I was born. My momma once told me that I'd been screwing things up since the moment she spit me out." His eyes moved back to the road as the muscle in his jaw ticked. "It's probably the only truth she's ever told." His laugh was bitter sounding to my ears.
Hearing him talk down about himself made me want to cry. What kind of mother told her child that he was screwed up her life? What a bitch! "Where is your mother? Does she live here in L.A?" I seriously wanted to throat punch her.
"I don't have a clue, and to tell you the truth, I couldn’t care less about where she is. If I ever see her again in this lifetime, it will be too soon! She walked out on me when I was five years old, and I haven't seen her since."
He glanced my direction and smiled. A smile that on the outside said, I'm okay with that. But I could see right through that. I knew it all too well. That smile was broken, and so was he.
"I-I'm sorry," I whispered, and turned my face away from him to look out the window.
I couldn't let him see the tears building in my eyes. Could that have something to do with the children's home? Did it have anything to do with the way he freaked out over his birthday cake? I think there was more to Chance Roberts than any of us knew, and I was hoping, one day, he'd trust me enough to tell me. To let me help him see that he was worth so much more than he believed.
