by A. R. Braun
The bartender tapped his fingers on the counter. “Buddy, you’re a handsome-looking dude, but I’m off in a half hour, and I’ve got a date with a squaw. I don’t want to spend thirty-five minutes looking atcha.”
Don chuckled. “Oh, sorry.” He ordered a lime beer.
The man smiled. “Comin right up.”
Don was tired of reading nametags and didn’t read his. After the disgusting display of body parts falling out of the Native American, he wanted to get pretty stupid, so stupid he couldn’t read anything. But not right away; that would be weak. When the bartender asked him for four bucks and some change for one beer, Don forked it over after almost having a heart attack.
He did a Google search on his smartphone to see if there was a disease that made one’s eyes fall out, but couldn’t find one. He continued to suck down the suds, wanting to laugh out loud because some joker had played Vandenburg’s “Burning Heart” on the Juke Box.
At this moment, Don thought he’d seen and heard it all.
Then his dream girl walked in.
CHAPTER 5
A young woman strutted sexily over to the seat next to Don. She wore a top that showed her tanned shoulders. Her well-endowed bosom all but burst out of her “shirt,” the tops of the twin peaks sticking out, giving Don a peep show. Straight blond hair that had no brunet roots hung over her shoulders, but the bulk of the vibrant, shiny mane lay over her back. She was thin, yet her apple butt filled her designer jeans so well Don thought he’d never seen such perfection. Her calves were exposed, her jeans the type that came down to just over the knee, and showed off a perfect tan, complete with an ankle bracelet. The belly shirt afforded him a view of the dolphin that adorned her lower back. The exquisite scent of Cherry Vanilla perfume wafted over to him, his favorite.
Twenty-five if a day and way out of my league. She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.
She glanced at Don with those baby-blue eyes, smiled, raised her eyebrows and blew him a kiss, then nursed her Sex on the Beach.
You’ve got to be kidding me!
Don thought about striking up a conversation.
Will I seem too needy? Should I just be friendly and not come on too strong? I’ve never had a woman like that — at least not one that’s sane. I wonder if she’s sane.
When she looked Don over again, he asked, “Nice bar, huh?”
Oh man, you stupid ass. Why don’t you just put the proverbial foot in your mouth and ask if she comes here often?
She took another sip of her drink — through a swizzle stick — and straightened her posture to compete with his height. “Are you new in town?” she chirped.
Don nodded. Beads of sweat erupted on his forehead. He thought about grabbing a napkin and dabbing himself, but not while she looked. He picked up his beer to pull from it before he answered, and his fingers shook a bit; the lime beer was excellent, the perfect amount of tangy deliciousness. “Yes, I just moved here from Chicago.”
Hey, I know, tell her about the job!
“I got on at the Intel plant, overseeing research.”
She smiled and this time showed teeth. “Hmm. Got a degree?”
Don nodded. “A bachelor’s degree in computer science.”
“Big shot, huh?”
Don chuckled. “I don’t know about all that. I’m ready to get serious about my life though. How about you?”
She glanced at her drink, now caressing the swizzle stick as if she were giving it a hand job. She met his eyes. “I don’t know. I just graduated from college, but I’m not motivated.”
Don couldn’t take his eyes off her enchanting blue irises and black eyelashes (except to check out her rack when she wasn’t looking). “What was your major?”
“Early childhood education.” She pinned him with her eyes as if looking into his soul. “So, you drove all the way from Chicago? What was that like?”
Thank God. For a minute there, I thought I was boring her.
“Well…” He finished his beer and called for a rum and cola. “… actually, it was pretty boring. Once I got past the corn and beans, it was all desert and mountains. Tumblin Tumbleweeds and all that.”
Oh God, I’m such a dork.
She laughed, and no nanny-named-Fran snort that would’ve had him seeking shelter, just a drop-dead-sexy chuckle. He already stood at attention. It had been a while.
“You’re funny,” she added.
“Thank you very much,” Don said in his best Elvis voice. “Gonna visit Vegas later and get lost in the roadhouse blues, huh, huh.”
She giggled and pointed at him. “I like you.” She took some time to compose herself. “Why would you leave the excitement of Chicago, That Toddlin Town, to come to a little city like Rio Rancho?”
Don laughed. “’Toddlin Town,’ I like that.” He finished chortling. “Winter. I’ve had it with snow.”
“We have a little bit of snow, just a light dusting. Most of it’s in the mountains.”
Don knew that from his research, but what came out was, “Oh really? I did not know that.”
She giggled again. “You kill me. You a businessman version of Wayne’s World now?” She spilled her drink on her jeans.
Don grabbed a napkin and gingerly wiped her jeans — which made her smile like the Cheshire Cat — then used his hanky to dab his forehead. He stuck his hand out. “I’m Don.”
She took it, and her soft-and-warm hand radiated heat into his skin.
That little hand can do anything it wants to me.
“Don…?”
Oh man, am I about to feel silly.
“Rack.”
She caught him gawking at her well-endowed bosom, looked down at her own boobs, and then both of them were snickering. “I’m Fay Merrimount.”
“Merrimount, huh?” Don chuckled again, and she followed his lead.
Fay shook her head. “Are you ever serious?”
Don quit laughing and brought her hand to his mouth and kissed its backside. He thought he’d never have the nerve to do such a thing, but here he was doing it. “I can be serious when I meet a lady as lovely as you.”
Where did that come from?
She gingerly slipped her hand from his, moving her little fingers over him as she did. He swore lightning would flow out of his fingertips. “Why, thank you.” She snorted. “You’re not so bad yourself, fella.”
Wow! Is this really happening? I know any minute now she’s going to lose interest in me. Maybe a musclehead will beat me up and take her. This is too good to be true.
“Can I buy you a drink?” Don asked.
Fay nodded. “Drinks, plural.” She glanced toward the bartender. “A Lunch Box and a Jager Bomb.”
Don finished his liquor and ordered the same as the lady. After taking a sip of the orange juice-flavored Lunch Box, he gazed into those eyes he probably wouldn’t be able to pull away from again. “So, you’re not going to get a good job now that you’re done with school?”
She looked as if she contemplated this for a bit. “No, all I really wanna do is find the right man and watch his satellite dish package while he’s killing himself at work. Then, when he comes home, make him happy as hell.” Her tone was sultry.
Wow! I can’t believe this!
“Spend his money,” she added. “I hate work and the assholes you have to deal with. I had a few jobs in high school. College guys were always on the make, always abusive, always stupid. Know what I mean?”
He knew exactly what she meant. “I met some real assholes when I first got to town. I was beginning to wonder why the area is like a loony bin.”
She nodded and chuckled. “I know, right?”
“I tried to talk to a Native American ‘cause I think it’s wrong that we stole their country.” He paused as she took a sip of the Jager Bomb. She looked fascinated, hanging on to his every word with sparkling eyes. “He was totally rude, popping off like he was going to blow a gasket. Then another guy tried to rough me up when I got a hotel room.”
She shook her head again. “Jerks.” She looked over the bar, then over her shoulder as the crowd grew louder and rowdier. “Like, if I weren’t sitting with you, I’d have ten creeps coming up to me. They might do it anyway.”
Don grinned. “I’ll protect you.”
She furrowed her brow, then grinned. “That’s nice of you. You can handle yourself, huh?”
“Myself and anyone with me.”
She drained her drinks, then looked at him and smiled. “You wanna get out of here?”
Don couldn’t believe that had just come out of her mouth.
This is the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever met, and she wants to leave with me? Oh my God! She wants to have —
“I’d love to.” Don tipped the bartender and took her hand, then helped her down from the barstool. They walked out together and garnered stares from the men not so lucky.
As they stepped into the breezy night, Don thought the air perfect, not too cold, not too hot. “I love the climate here.”
She glanced at him, a couple inches shorter than Don. “Would you mind if we got some ice cream? I’ve been craving it all day.”
“I’ve been craving it too! I stopped by a store to get some this morning, but this guy had a weird seizure. Or something.”
“Let’s go.” She took his hand. “There’s a Baskin Robbins down the block.”
Man, he was there.
CHAPTER 6
Wood-colored cookie-cutter tables and chairs were spotlighted by overhead fluorescents that, if of a higher wattage, would’ve blinded the customers. A few young couples sat, devouring their ice cream.
Don ordered, then ate a cookie dough-flavored frozen treat as Fay indulged in bubblegum-flavored ice cream. They talked of their former significant others, their past jobs, their failures and their fears of going nowhere while others realized their dreams.
He was lost in her eyes.
Fay finished her ice cream and didn’t even slurp when she pulled from her soda. “You probably want to take me home,” she blurted.
Don was startled.
Wow, little woman, don’t hold back.
Don said, “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”
She looked out of the corner of her eyes as a few young men came in wearing bling chains and caps on backwards. They eyeballed Don and Fay.
Gangbangers. They’re going to steal her, I just know it.
Yet — insanely! — they kept their distance.
She did it again; the way she moved only her eyes was sensuous as hell. “I’m not easy, you know. It’s like in that Destiny’s Child song. I may dress like this, but I’m no ho. I just wanted to get out of that bar before the college crowd started hitting on me.” She finished her soda and then put her hand over her mouth to stifle a silent burp. “Goodness.” She met his eyes again. Hers sparkled with infatuation. “I had a really good time tonight. I guess I’d better get back. Walk me to my car?”
“Sure.” Don finished his ice cream and soda also. I knew it. I hate my life. This is where she decides I’m boring and gives me the brush off is what he thought, but what came out was, “Can I get your number first? I mean, would you like to do this again?” His voice vibrated with fear, but then courage struck him like a knockout punch. “And I’m not taking no for an answer. I won’t leave a gorgeous and sweet girl like you alone till you give me your digits.”
Fay gawked at him as if unsure what to say.
“It’ll be a real pain in the ass,” he added. “I’ll follow you home, trail behind you on your errands and breathe down your neck. It’ll be like the ugly duckling chasing the flock.”
How in the hell did I muster up the courage to say that?
“How do I know you’re not a serial killer waiting to get me alone?” she asked.
“Well, that’s why I want to talk on the phone, until you get to know me — then go out again.”
She sized him up. “How old are you?”
Here’s your last chance to screw up, buddy. “How old are you?” Don asked.
“I asked you first,” she said.
“Thirty.”
“Hmm. A guy in his twenties, sure. A guy in his thirties, maybe. But if you were forty, no way.” Fay smiled. “I’m Twenty-two.” Fay held his eyes for a few seconds and then busted out laughing. “Okay, silly. But let’s take it slow.”
Don’s heart jumped up to his throat.
“Okay?” Just like that? It WORKED.
“I’ll take it,” Don let out while grabbing for his keys.
She giggled. “I live with my mom, so it’ll be her number, unless you want my cell.”
“Either is fine.”
She fished around in her purse, then raised her head and watched him. “Let’s talk on the phone for a few nights. Then I’d like to get together this weekend, go see a corny movie, maybe get a bite to eat and — ”
Don handed her his gold felt-tip pen, a Mont Blanc. “Here, use this.” Her eyes goggled as she looked the pen over. “Wow! My, my, my.” She looked up at him with those wide voluptuous eyeballs. “You’ve got class.” Her mouth formed an o. “Shit, brain fart. I can give you my number so you can program it into your cell, not write it.”
Don grinned, he imagined ear-to-ear, as she gave him her digits. He added the number to his contacts list. Don got up, and she actually waited for him to take her hand He walked her out into the exquisite night.
Fay swung his hand as they walked. She locked eyes with him, transfixing him with her beauty. “You’re a sweetheart, you know it?”
He imagined he blushed at that moment. “You are too, hon.”
They were silent the rest of the way to her car, a blue Camaro. She turned to him and touched his arm. “Call me.”
He smiled. “I will.”
Oh, you just fucking bet I will! Have to be crazy not to.
She pointed at him. “You’d better.” She giggled. “See ya.”
With that she climbed behind the wheel, fired up the engine, waved and took off. She drove a little too fast, but with a Camaro, what was one supposed to do?
Don stood there reeling with infatuation and lust.
***
The next evening, he called her after work, another slam dunk. He’d gotten along with his co-workers famously.
“Hello?” she chirped.
God, I missed that voice.
“Hi, Fay, it’s Don.”
“Hey, you. I don’t know why, but I’ve been waiting for you to call all day.” There was a bit of silence, followed by light crunching. “I’m eating peanut brittle and watching an old movie with my mom. So bo-ooring.” She moved the receiver away from her ear and told her mother it was a guy she’d met named Don. “Donny, hold on. I’m gonna go up to my room.”
“Sure.”
She’s already calling me “Donny”?
“Okay, I’m here.” She gasped, out of breath. “Had to climb the damn stairs.” She sounded as if she’d sprinted up them. “We still on for dinner and a movie this Friday?”
“You bet. Nothing could tear me away.”
“How was work?” Some R&B ditty-bop song jammed in the background.
“Great.” A sudden fear struck Don. He didn’t know what to say for the life of him. Don hadn’t talked to a girl like this on the phone since high school.
“Well,” she cut in, “I had a great time the other night. I’ve been bored as hell waiting for your call.”
Don was nonplussed.
“But…” She audibly bopped to the music, whispering the lyrics. “… I wanna be normal and not rush it, you know.”
“That’s fine.”
“So,” her voice turned sultry. “What are you doin?”
“I’m searching through my suitcase for the right clothes to wear this weekend. I’m going house hunting.” Don wiped sweat from his brow with his handkerchief.
“Ooh, that sounds like fun! We’re having a dumb family reunion I wish I could get out of.”
> Don chuckled. “I’d invite you to house hunt with me, but I don’t want to be too forward.”
“Yah.” She chuckled. “A little early for that. But I’ve never met someone as sweet as you. Play your cards right, Mister, you might end up with a girlfriend.”
At this Don almost fainted.
“Donny? Still there?”
“Yes, I’m here.”
“Bet you’re about to faint dead away. Or do you have a hard on?” She laughed again.
“Guilty on two accounts.” He chortled.
She giggled like a schoolgirl. “Well, I’m tired. I didn’t sleep for shit last night, so I’m going to bed. When will you be here to pick me up?”
“At seven. I need to get your address.”
“Oh, silly me.” She gave it to him. “Are you in your hotel?”
“Yes, the Holiday Inn. I’m getting sick of it.”
“You in your boxers?” She laughed again.
“No, my business suit. I just tore off the tie.”
“Woo! I’m wearing short-shorts and a halter top. I’ll let you chew on that until Friday.”
Don was speechless.
“I really like you,” she added.
Don wiped sweat off his brow. “I really like you too.”
She yawned. “Sorry, it’s not you. I’m just tired.” She yawned louder. “So, you’d better be here on Friday.”
“The fun police would have to kill me to stop me.”
She giggled. “Good. Toodles.”
“Goodnight.”
She broke the connection.
Don couldn’t believe his luck. She’d said she wanted to talk to him a few nights first, but she was already dying to go out. He thought at best he’d be dating a thirty-something woman, a MILF that carried a lot of baggage. Instead, he was dating a woman enticingly too young and so sexy he thought he’d cream his trousers every time he thought of her. And she really dug him, Why, he didn’t know.
Play your cards right, Mister, you might end up with a girlfriend.
Why is everything going my way? Don wondered again while watching the news of the few local deaths, two mentally-ill persons who’d committed suicide, and one a victim of decapitation at the hands of a serial murderer. Wonderful.
