by Lane Hart
"A day or two?"
"Yeah, tough guy. You just had surgery this morning after being shot twice. How's the pain?"
"I'm okay."
"Scale of one to ten, ten being excruciating, where are you?"
"Um, a two." If two is what it felt like to be stabbed over and over with a hot poker.
She raised her eyebrow at me. "Try again."
"Maybe a five."
"That's sounds more like it. Here's the button for your morphine drip. It's on a timer so you can't get too much. Hit it whenever you need, especially before you try to get up and move around."
"Okay," I agreed before she walked out the room.
Lauren had started waking up, probably because of our conversation. I should send her home to get some real sleep in a bed, but I didn't want her to leave.
"Good morning," I told her as she stretched and looked up at me.
"Good morning. You look like you're feeling better. Lot of pain?" she asked sitting up on the side of the bed.
"It's not that bad."
"I'm not buying it," she said with a shake of her head.
"I know you didn't sleep much. Why don't you head home and rest?"
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah. Call Caleb and tell him to come get you." Although I wished it was anyone else. "Are you going to let him take you back to our house?" I asked.
I knew her response before it came out of her mouth, when she looked down at the bed. "Tyler, I just don't think it's a good idea to stay there."
"Please baby. I want you there and so does Caleb. I can't stand the thought of you at your mom's."
"Jess said I could stay with her and sleep on her couch, at least for a few days, so I won't have to go back to my mom's."
"If that's what you want, but I wish I could change your mind." I was ready to beg, but my parents came in and Lauren got up to text Caleb. I couldn't help my insane jealousy. Thinking about them alone together for any amount of time, even if it was just a car ride, had me on edge.
…
Caleb
After I visited with Tyler a few minutes Lauren and I left the hospital, so I could take her to get her car. I could tell Tyler was jealous, and didn't like the idea of Lauren and I being alone together. Does he think she might still care about me?
After I started the car I couldn't hold it in any longer.
"If you would have just told me that night after he got there that you were waiting for him, I would have left you alone. You didn't have to use me to make him jealous, or whatever the fuck reason you had," I told her.
Lauren looked confused for a second before she answered. Maybe I should have explained that I was referring to the night we met, but that had to be obvious to her. Hearing Lauren tell Tyler's parents the story of how the two of them met confirmed what he'd told me about meeting her first.
"I wasn't with you to make him jealous. I liked you and I wanted to be with you, that's why I didn't say anything," she said, and I wanted to believe her. It had felt like the two of us were so good together when we first started dating, and I had no idea she'd wanted him at the time, or had tried to screw him.
Still looking straight ahead as I drove I asked, "So when exactly did that change?"
"I don’t know Caleb."
"It had to be pretty soon after we met since you gave him a fucking blow job the next morning." Then she'd gone out with me that night. Fucked me in the front seat of this car, hours after trying to fuck him.
I saw Lauren cringe from the corner of my eye, like she had no idea Tyler had told me, and would have preferred I not know.
"I'm sorry. He ... that night, Tyler got up and took care of me while I was sick. I finally realized how upset he was that I hadn't said anything when he showed up at the bar."
"If I hadn't gone to basic training would we still be together?" I asked, and just looking at the expression on her face for a second before looking back at the road, I knew the answer.
"Probably. But if Tyler hadn't been late that night then …"
"Then we'd never have ended up together. Right." I shook my head. "I guess he hates that as much as I hated having to leave you."
"I didn't mean for this to happen, and he didn’t either. I don't want to come between your friendship with him. I'm not worth it”
I laughed. "You have no idea what either of us would do for you. And Lauren, I know he probably loves you, but I was falling for you too. You just gave up on us and didn't give me a real chance."
She exhaled heavily, wiping tears from her face, before she spoke again.
"Things were a hell of a lot easier before you came home," she said, like I'd come back and ruined the good thing her and Tyler had going.
"I'm sorry my coming home has been such a goddamn burden on your relationship," I snapped.
"That's not what I meant. I meant it was easy to choose Tyler when you weren't here reminding me of us and how things were before you left," she said softly. Which sounded a helluva lot like she had missed me, that she did miss me, and that Tyler had just been a consolation prize. Like if I hadn't forfeited my chance with her when I left, it would have made her decision tougher.
"Are you coming back to stay with us?" I asked, hating that she wouldn't be sleeping in my bed if she did. Getting home to her was all I'd thought about for the past ten weeks. I had no idea I'd come home to find her in his bed instead of mine.
"No. Not right now."
"Because of me?"
"Because I don't want to cause more problems between you and Tyler." Problems like us beating the shit out of each other in front of her.
"We both want you to stay with us."
"And that's the problem."
"You might be right. It might be best if you don't stay with us because honestly Lauren, I'm not ready to give up on you," I told her. Tyler was my best friend, or had been before all this, but if I thought I had a chance with her I was going to damn well take it. She'd picked me over him the first night, and I just had to convince her to do it again.
"I don't exactly trust myself around you either," she said, and hope swelled in my aching chest.
"Really?" I asked with a grin. She still wanted me.
"But I wouldn't do that to Tyler." Of course not, she'd only cheat on me.
"You cheated on me with him, but you won't cheat on him with me, therefore you care about him more. Is that it?" I snapped.
"I can't lose Tyler. Last night was too close, and still freaking me out."
"And you can live without me? Hell, that's what you did for the past ten weeks."
"You're back now, and I don't want you to just disappear from my life or Tyler's."
"I want to ask you something and I want you to be honest. If Tyler and I hadn't known each other would you have dated us both at the same time when we first met you?"
She'd met us separately and felt something for us both. If she'd get in Tyler's bed after screwing me all night, I was certain she would have dated him behind my back if we hadn't known each other.
"Yes, probably, at least until I got to know you both better."
"But since we were not only friends, but roommates, you didn't."
"Well yeah. I just watched the two of you beat the shit out of each other yesterday morning."
"What if we agreed not to fight and to let you date us both now?" I asked, wondering if she'd accept what she'd wanted to begin with.
"Have you lost your mind?" she asked. "That's ridiculous. I'm with Tyler, and I'm only going to be with him." I heard her words, but it was almost like she was convincing herself.
"If Tyler agreed to it, would you?"
"No, it would be a … stupid thing to do." The word "slutty" could have substituted the way she'd said "stupid", like she shouldn't want to date and fuck two different men at the same time. But I had a feeling that in a perfect world she would like to have us both, if we could share her without the fighting.
"I could share you with him. I'd hate it, and I'd probably
want to kill him, but I'd do it just for a chance to be with you."
She laughed. "Yeah, you might, but Tyler would never consider it for a second." Which, in other words, was why she'd immediately shot the idea down. Tyler was the one I'd have to convince, and if he went along, then I knew she would go for it.
"He might. You know how jealous he was that I'd given you a ride to the hospital. He's going to constantly worry that you'll change your mind. That you still want me. We'd finally both get an equal chance to be with you so you could decide who you want."
"Caleb, I'm sorry, but I already know I want Tyler." Just because she wants him, doesn't mean she couldn't want me at the same time.
"You're one hundred percent certain he's the only one you want?" I asked.
Her hesitation told me all I needed to know. She had some doubt.
"Maybe not one hundred percent," she finally admitted, and I forced myself not to visibly celebrate that small win.
"Well?" I asked, wanting a more specific answer.
"I guess around ninety-seven percent, which is still an overwhelming amount." She tried to defend it, but it wasn't one hundred percent.
"I'll take my chances with three percent," I told her. Three was a helluva lot better than zero.
"Caleb-" she started, but I couldn't let her crush my hope.
"No, just hear me out Lauren. Don't you think you deserve to love someone the entire one hundred percent, with all of your heart? If not, won't you always wonder how things could have turned out for us if we'd had a real chance?"
"That may sound great in theory, but I'm not willing to risk losing what I have with Tyler for something so ridiculous, something that may not even exist. I can live happily with ninety-seven percent."
"But how long do you think that happiness will last?" I asked, and she didn't answer. "Tyler's veto is the only problem you seem to have. So right this second, if Tyler agreed to this deal, would you?"
"How could I pass up both of you?" she laughed, and I wanted to pull her on my lap and kiss her. She'd finally admitted she wanted us both, and would have us both if she could.
"You wouldn't would you?"
"I care about you both. I wish I didn't, but I can't change how I feel."
Only one more hurdle left.
"So do I have your permission to ask Tyler?" I asked.
Her expression was one of panic before she responded. "Only if you promise me you won't let him know we've already talked about it."
Because if he says hell no to it, she doesn't want him to know she has three percent doubt.
"Okay. I get it. I won't say a word about our conversation, I'll only talk to him about it to see if he'd consider asking you," I assured her.
"Can I trust you? How do I know you won't use this to screw me over with Tyler?"
"You can trust me Lauren. I want you back, even though you hurt me, but I'm not going to do something so low to get you. Because if I did, then you'd never trust me again."
Chapter Eighteen
Tyler
I was surprised when Caleb showed back up in my room just an hour after giving Lauren a ride to her car.
"Hey," he said when he came in, not meeting my eyes.
"Hey. You're back already?" I asked.
"Yeah. Are you up for company?"
"Sure. I'm bored out of my mind." I laid down the remote I'd been flipping through the ten channels with.
"Where are your parents?"
"Gone to get some lunch. They're bored too."
He nodded, but didn't respond before sitting in the uncomfortable looking hospital chair under the TV. He chewed on his fingernails but still wouldn't look at me.
"Caleb, is something up?"
"Yeah. I want to ask you something while it's less likely you'll be able to kick my ass again."
Oh shit.
"This about Lauren?" I asked, already knowing the answer.
"Yes. Will you just hear me out before you freak the fuck out?"
"If it's that damn bad I can't make any promises."
He stood up and starting pacing, rubbing his hand through his hair. When I was about to yell at him to spill it already, he finally started.
"You're jealous of me right? Especially when I'm alone with Lauren?"
"Yeah, I guess."
"Because you think she might still want me?"
I blew out my breath, considered denying it, but then answered honestly. "Maybe."
"Do you think you'll get over that jealousy anytime soon?"
"I don't know. Probably not. Are you happy? Is that what you wanted to hear, that I'm jealous of you?"
"Yes, because now you might actually listen to what I'm about to suggest."
"What would that be exactly? Even if I am jealous, it's done and over - she picked me. Last night she told me that she loves me."
He cringed like those last few words caused him physical pain before he went on. "Not at first she didn't. She picked me, and if I hadn't left do you think you'd even be with her right now?"
"Honestly? I don’t know."
"And you probably think that if you hadn't been late that first night then she would have never ended up with me."
"I still regret that shit."
"Right, it's sort of like both of us got screwed when it came to our first chance with her, so what I want is for you to give me another chance with her."
"Are you out of your fucking mind? Hell no."
"So you're okay with always wondering if she still might want to be with me?"
"No. I mean yes, she's with me so that's all that fucking matters."
"You're a more confident man than me I guess," he said with a shrug, sliding his hands casually into his pants pockets. "I'm sure it didn't matter as much while I was gone, but I'm back now. I know she missed me, and I think she may still care about me, even if she did end up fucking you because she was lonely and felt like I abandoned her."
"Whoa. You think you still have a chance with her? Hold on, did she say something to you?"
He smirked and wagged his finger at me. "Ah. Right there. There's that jealousy again. Wouldn't you like to know what was said, and what went on between the two of us when we were alone? Alone in my car where she fucked me in the front seat on our first date. Before and after we had dinner. And yes, I still hope there's a chance. I'm sure as hell not giving up."
"Goddamn you. I really fucking hate you right now," I told him, feeling my blood pressure rise.
"Feeling's mutual."
"What makes you think that if I was stupid enough to agree to this that Lauren would even go for it?"
"Won't know unless we ask, but what do you think she'd say?"
I wanted to think she'd say "hell no", but would she? Is she happy with me, and has she put her relationship with him behind her? I was pretty sure she had before he came back, but now ...
"If you have to think about it that long then you already know the answer, you just don't want to admit it," he taunted, knowing he had me.
"I love her, and I'm not going to lose her to you."
"Then what will it hurt? We can even give it a time limit and at the end of it, if that's true, she'll decide she wants you. End of story."
"I can't believe I'm even fucking considering sharing my girlfriend with you."
"We already have shared her, back when you screwed around with her behind my back."
"You know what I mean. So would she live with us and sleep in your bed one night and mine the next? That'll never work."
"I don't know, but I know I want her staying with us, and I'll do whatever it takes for that to happen." He shook his head and clenched his jaw. "Fuck. Even if it means her sleeping in your bed."
"Okay, then we leave it up to her. I want her to stay with us too."
"We'll have to have ground rules if we're going to stay civil and not beat the shit out of each other every day. She would never put up with that," he said.
"Like what?"
"Like no beating the shi
t out of each other! Other than that, we leave everything up to her, and respect her decisions regardless of how pissed off we get. And no sabotaging each other."
"I still think this is fucking ridiculous."
"Why don't we ask her? If she refuses and says she only wants you then fine, I'll man up and accept it."
He seemed awfully damn confident.
"You think she'll agree, don't you?" I asked.
He gave me a smug smile that I wanted to knock off his face. "Let's just say that if we were betting, I'd go all in."
"Shit, it sort of feels like I'm going all in too."
…
Lauren
I slept for a few hours, then got up and showered at Jess's after I got a text from Caleb asking if I'd come back to the hospital around five. I had a feeling this was about the crazy idea he'd mentioned earlier, and I still wasn't sure how I felt about it. If Tyler agreed to it, then does that mean he doesn't love me since he's going to let me date someone else? Or does it mean he loves me so much that he wants to give me the chance to figure out for myself if he's the one for me? If I really loved him would I even be considering it?
I was confused, but I couldn't deny that a part of me was absolutely giddy with the thought of being with both of these men. Two guys that cared about me more than anyone else ever had. Two guys who were mind-blowing in bed. And it felt all kinds of wrong how hot it made me to think about being wanted by both of them.
When I walked into Tyler's room I was glad to see it was just him and Caleb. This wasn't something I wanted his parents to witness. I gave Tyler a kiss and asked how he was. He looked better. The only thing off was the expression of wariness on his face.
"Hey Caleb. What have you two been up to? Keeping your hands off each other I hope."
"Completely civil," Caleb said innocently, as he leaned back casually in the hospital chair with his hands behind his head.
"Good."
"So Lauren, there's something Tyler and I want to talk to you about."
"Um, okay?" I tried to steel my face and pretend like I didn't know what he was about to ask.
"What would you say about starting over with us both?" Caleb asked, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees.
